Idiocracy

NBC News reports: More than 460 laid-off employees at the nation’s top public health agency received notices Wednesday that they are being reinstated, according to a union representing the workers. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services confirmed reinstatement notices went out to the former Centers for Disease Control and Prevention employees, but provided few details. About 2,400 CDC …

Via press release from the National Park Service: On June 10, a 30-year-old man from Randolph, New Jersey, was injured by a bison in Yellowstone National Park. At approximately 9:45 a.m. in the Upper Geyser Basin at Old Faithful, a man was gored by a bison after a large group of visitors approached it too closely. The individual was treated …

Orlando’s Fox affiliate reports: A man faces charges after Pinellas County deputies say he called 911 claiming security at a club “took” $300 from him – money he used in an attempt to pay an employee for sex. According to an arrest affidavit filed by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, Sultan Alnofaie, 21, called 911 from the OZ Gentlemen’s Club …

NOLA.com reports: The Louisiana Legislature has passed a new bill to outlaw “chemtrails,” a made-up and very fake thing that conspiracy theorists and other assorted fringe people believe in. Because of course. This clearly unhinged theory claims that those streaks are actually dangerous chemicals that “they” are pumping into the sky for … reasons. Who are “they?” That’s a great …

NBC News reports: A former federal inmate who was pardoned by President Donald Trump in his first term for drug trafficking crimes more than two decades ago has been tapped as deputy director of the federal Bureau of Prisons, according to bureau spokesperson Kristie Breshears. Joshua J. Smith, a Tennessee businessman who founded an inmate advocacy and rehabilitation nonprofit foundation, …

Politico Magazine reports: Sometimes the changes are subtler — a youthfulness that’s hard to pinpoint, a sense of vigor that’s hard to place. Lately, much of that suspicion has centered on the jaw. Across the internet and the gossip-journalism universe, it’s not hard to find speculation about the mandibles of everyone from the Trump sons to Elon Musk. And if …

The New Republic reports: “What’s the tariff on bananas? Americans, by the way, love bananas. We buy billions of them a year,” asked Pennsylvania Representative Madeleine Dean. “What’s the tariff on bananas?” “The tariff on bananas would be representative of the countries that produce them,” said Lutnick, eventually clarifying that the tariff rate would be generally 10 percent. “As countries …

Reuters reports: Staff of the Federal Emergency Management Agency were left baffled on Monday after the head of the U.S. disaster agency said during a briefing that he had not been aware the country has a hurricane season, according to four sources familiar with the situation. The U.S. hurricane season officially began on Sunday and lasts through November. The National …

The Daily Beast reports: Director of National Security Tulsi Gabbard wants to turn President Donald Trump’s daily intel briefings into Fox News-type broadcasts because he “doesn’t read.” Gabbard is hoping to add animations and more dynamic multimedia elements to Trump’s President’s Daily Briefs, or PDBs, to fit his viewing habits and hold his attention. Gabbard also reportedly consulted with current …

The New York Times reports: The Trump administration has delivered its latest blow to vaccines, canceling a nearly $600-million contract to the drugmaker Moderna that was intended to develop a shot for humans against bird flu. The decision also forfeited the U.S. government’s right to purchase doses ahead of a pandemic, and canceled an agreement set up by the Biden …

The Hill reports: The top health authorities of the U.S. and Argentina are launching what they call an “alternative international health system” separate from the World Health Organization (WHO). On the first day of his second term, President Trump signed an executive starting the yearlong process of withdrawing the U.S. from the WHO. In February, Argentinian President Javier Milei followed …

ABC News reports: The newly sworn-in head of the Social Security Administration told agency staff this week that when he was first offered the job in the Trump administration, he wasn’t familiar with the position and had to look it up online. Frank Bisignano, a former Wall Street executive, said during a town hall with Social Security managers from around …

Florida Politics reports: Fluoride wars continue between the Florida Governor and the American Dental Association (ADA), with Gov. Ron DeSantis deriding the trade group. “They don’t trust people to take care of themselves,” DeSantis said on Fox News’ “America’s Newsroom.” DeSantis was responding to a statement the ADA released condemning Surgeon General Joseph Ladapo’s opposition to fluoride being added to …

NewsNation reports: Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry (R) doubled down Tuesday on blaming progressive politics for the escape of 10 inmates from a New Orleans jail. Half of the escapees remained at large as of Wednesday morning, after a fifth was captured Tuesday evening. Landry, a staunch conservative and ally of President Trump, has repeatedly pointed to billionaire Democratic donor George …

The Hill reports: Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy signed an order on Tuesday requiring commercial truck drivers to be fluent in English. Under the new guidance, drivers who fail to comply with the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration’s English-language proficiency requirements will be placed out of service. “America First means safety first. Americans are a lot safer on roads alongside truckers …

The Daily Beast reports: Tim Petit said he shelled out $640 to buy his wife a pink “limited edition” timepiece from GetTrumpWatches.com. Yet upon closer inspection, the watch he received read “RUMP” on its face, NBC 10 News reported. “With the president’s voice hawking the watches. I was curious, so I went on to the website,” he said. “I just …

“I don’t know how many of you have ever been out driving a vehicle before. You wondered what’s wrong with it, right? It’s jerky. It doesn’t turn right. It’s going slow. It seems like something is broke and then you look down and you have your emergency brake on. Anybody ever do that before? I have. You drive around and …

The Hill reports: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced Tuesday it will be moving to take ingestible prescription fluoride products for children off the market, citing concerns that the mineral alters the gut microbiome of children. Ingestible fluoride products are prescribed for children who are at a high risk of tooth decay. The majority of municipal water systems in …

The Independent reports: A former Bush administration official has made startling claims, alleging that the United States government has built an extensive underground network of bunkers worth $21 trillion. The bunkers, as the official said, were constructed from 1998 till 2015 and with “unauthorized spending.” Catherine Austin Fitts, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development from 1989 until 1990, under …

Mediate reports: Critics mocked Trump Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy over a social media post featuring the hashtag “#LatinaWife” — which also happens to link to posts featuring hardcore pornography. Duffy heads a department that has grappled with a series of high-profile air disasters and a crisis at Newark airport that has many questioning the safety of the hub after …