assholery

Fox Guest Star Parker: Food Stamp Cuts Are “Fantastic”

“I think that President Trump and his administration are doing an incredible job making America great again. This is fantastic news, that they are now acknowledging those that are sitting on their couch, they’ve gotten very comfortable on the couch, to say our national food stamp program is for those that are in need, desperate need. “They fixed the economy, …

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Bevin: I Lost Because Dems Are Good At “Harvesting Votes In The Urban Communities” Like Housing Projects

Louisville’s NPR affiliate reports: Matt Bevin lost to Democratic Attorney General Andy Beshear last month by a little more than 5,000 votes. During an interview on 55KRC in Cincinnati, Bevin said that the election was a “surprise” that defies logic. “The left, those who think of a different ideological bent, they are getting so good at harvesting votes in the …

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Drunk Kid Rock Hurls Sexual Slurs At Oprah, Others

Variety reports: Kid Rock went a sexually explicit tirade went into against several female talk shows hosts on stage at his own Nashville bar this week, in a state the website TMZ described as “clearly intoxicated.” The video ends with him being helped off the lip of the stage in an awkward manner by handlers. “I’m like, Oprah Winfrey or …

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Junior’s Contest: Ruin Thanksgiving To Own The Libs

Last night Donald Trump Jr. invited his four million Twitter followers to ruin their family’s Thanksgiving celebrations by “triggering” them with political talk. To spice things up, Junior is offering a free autographed copy of his book “Triggered” and a MAGA hat to whichever fan provides the most amusing photo or video of their ruined festivities. Junior is surely stung …

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Conway Rips Ex-Navy Sec: I’m Sure Getting Fired Hurts

Politico reports: White House counselor Kellyanne Conway on Tuesday fired back at ousted Navy Secretary Richard Spencer for remarks the former official made that were critical of President Donald Trump’s intervention in the military justice system. “I’m sure it hurts to lose your position, but the president stands by his decision, and he was there,” Conway told the hosts of …

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Musk To Testify In Own Defense In Defamation Suit

Reuters reports: Tesla Inc’s chief executive, Elon Musk, will testify in his own defense against a defamation lawsuit brought by a British cave explorer, Musk’s lawyer said on Monday in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles. Vernon Unsworth is suing Musk for calling him a “pedo guy.” Musk posted the tweet after Unsworth accused Musk in a CNN interview of …

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Junior: Having Sex With An HIV+ Person Can Kill You

The Independent reports: Another day, another tweet from a member of the Trump family that makes you want to scratch your eyeballs out. This time, Donald Trump Jr has followed in his father’s footsteps by posting a tweet that is being branded “disgusting”, “reprehensible” and “dangerous.” An LGBT+ news outlet posted an article entitled “What you stand to lose by …

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Toddler-In-Chief Begins Selling “Bull-Schiff” T-Shirts

Newsweek reports: President Trump’s campaign is taking aim at House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff, D-Calif., with new merchandise designed to disparage his impeachment inquiry with a pun on his name. Released on Thursday, the “Bull-Schiff” t-shirts show the word “bull” alongside a caricature of Schiff with an extended neck — an apparent reference to Trump calling him a “pencil …

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FLORIDA: GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz Tells Judge He Wants Prison Time For Woman Who Threw A Drink On Him

The Pensacola News-Journal reports: Rep. Matt Gaetz is asking the federal court to sentence Amanda Kondrat’yev — the woman who threw a drink on the congressman after a Pensacola campaign event in June — to “some time of incarceration,” saying that the message needs to be sent to supporters and opponents that violence won’t be tolerated. Kondrat’yev, 35, is scheduled …

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Trump Admin To Live-Stream Border Wall Construction

The Washington Post reports: Jared Kushner and other senior Trump administration officials are planning to set up web cameras to live-stream construction of President Trump’s border wall, going against objections from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and senior U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials, according to four people familiar with the White House proposal. “There will be a wall …

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CAREFULLY TAUGHT: Children Told To “Build The Wall” With Personalized Paper Bricks At WH Halloween Party

Yahoo News reports: A Halloween party on Oct. 25 at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building featured candy, paper airplanes and — concerning for some attendees — a station where children were encouraged to help “Build the Wall” with their own personalized bricks. Photos of the children’s mural with the paper wall were provided to Yahoo News. The party, which took …

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Glorious Leader Ridicules Beto For Dropping Out

Mediaite reports: President Trump used Beto O’Rourke’s words from the beginning of his 2020 campaign to mock the end of his presidential bid. In a celebratory tweet, Trump pointed to O’Rourke’s Vanity Fair campaign launch and scoffed at his campaign-ending announcement. When O’Rourke announced earlier this year he was running, he claimed he felt he was destined to be president, …

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Junior And Mistress Go As “Witch Hunt” For Halloween

People Magazine reports: Donald Trump Jr. is using Halloween as an opportunity to take a jab at the Democratic party and the impeachment resolution that passed on Thursday with a costume inspired by an oft-quoted phrase that his father uses on Twitter. Trump Jr., 41, shared a pair of photos on Instagram on Thursday, revealing a politically tinged couples costume …

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Gaetz: Storming The Hearing Was Like The Movie “300”

TMZ reports: Congressman Matt Gaetz sure is feeling himself after leading the blitz of House Republicans into private impeachment hearings — delaying them for hours — and he’s glowing about scoring brownie points with POTUS. We got the Florida Rep. on Capitol Hill, shortly after members of his Freedom Caucus ignored protocol and barged into a secure facility Wednesday. Gaetz …

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Kellyanne Conway: Pelosi Only Backed Impeachment Because “Men Told Her To Change Her Mind” [VIDEO]

AlterNet reports: In a truly bizarre and startling broadside on Friday, White House counselor Kellyanne Conway lobbed a blatantly sexist accusation against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who accelerated the drive for impeaching President Donald Trump this week. Conway accused Pelosi of doing “the worse thing a woman in power can do, which is she just changes her mind because the …

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Ingraham Compares Greta To “Children Of The Corn”

The Daily Beast reports: Hours after a Fox News guest described 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg as a “mentally ill Swedish child,” Fox News host Laura Ingraham took a shot at the teenager by comparing her to the children in a Stephen King horror film. Playing video of Thunberg calling out world leaders at the United Nations Climate Action Summit, …

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Fox Apologizes After Guest Calls Greta “Mentally Ill”

Buzzfeed News reports: Fox News apologized to 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg on Monday after a conservative pundit called her a “mentally ill Swedish child”. Thunberg, who has Asperger’s syndrome, delivered a powerful speech at the United Nations earlier in the day about the impact of climate change on her generation. The speech was then the subject of a segment …

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Trump Ridicules Teen Climate Activist Greta Thunberg

USA Today reports: President Donald Trump posted a mocking tweet of a 16-year-old climate activist who drew headlines this week for her speech at the United Nations. Trump quoted a particularly emotional line from Greta Thunberg’s address to the Climate Action Summit in a late night tweet on Monday. In it, the Swedish teen said that “people are dying” and …

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D’Souza Compares Teen Climate Activist To Nazis

Mediaite reports: A corollary to Godwin’s Law states that “as an Internet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler increases, and whoever makes that comparison has automatically ‘lost’ whatever debate was in progress.” Extending this axiom to the current public discourse of the climate crisis begs the question: should a critic of Swedish teenaged activist …

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Pence Ships Eight “Monster SUVs” For Motorcade On Resort Island That Banned All Motor Vehicles In 1898

The Detroit Free Press reports: Vice President Mike Pence arrived at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island in an eight-vehicle motorcade Saturday, prompting cries of “sacrilege” on social media. Cars are generally banned on the island, and that century-old ban is integral to its charm. When President Gerald Ford visited the island in 1975 — the only sitting president to …

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