Above: Condi Rice advising Congress on Bush’s “troop surge”.

During his opening monologue on last night’s SNL, Jake Gyllenhaal nicely skewered his rabid gay following, saying he wanted to send them a “special thank-you.” Then he put on a black bouffant wig, ripped away his suit to reveal a full-length sequined gown and launched into a pretty damn good version of Dreamgirl’s And I Am Telling You. I bet …

If you stick a fork into an electrical socket, you get a bit of a buzz. Wasn’t expecting that.

I’ve wrangled a large portion of my posse to attend tomorrow’s Body & Soul party at Pacha. I’ve only been to two Body & Soul parties: the final event and 2004’s Reunion Party. Both were just tear-the-roof-off-the-sucker out of this world. I’m hoping for more of the same. Aaron tells me the last reunion party drew 6500 crazies. We plan …

I like Rosie O’Donnell. Despite the Tom Cruise nonsense, despite the “ching-chong” controversy, I think she is one ballsy bitch dyke. And this recent hilarity that the tabs are calling “Rosie O’Donald” just reinforces my admiration. But America doesn’t feel the same, apparently. According to today’s Editor & Publisher, Gallup polls show that Rosie has a 63% unfavorable rating from …

If you’ve never had a cigarette, the first one gets you kinda high. Wasn’t expecting that.

A northern Mexican state approved gay unions yesterday. Coahuila, population 2.3 million, borders Texas and hosts hundreds of maquiladoras, factories set up by U.S. companies to exploit the cheap local labor pool. Crazy. It’s just about the last place in this hemisphere that I’d expect to approve gay unions. Today Coahuila, tomorrow Oaxaca!

Yesterday’s open thread made me snap this pic of Miss Lee’s establishment on East 60th Street near Bloomingdales. Somebody told me yesterday that visiting a psychic was just as satisfying and therapeutic as seeing a professional therapist. I’d buy that. Hey, are there any psychic therapists? “I predict that it’s all your mother’s fault.”

Yesterday I got an email from a friend who recently left NYC for Fort Lauderdale: Hopefully by the time Spring rolls around, I’ll be back in NYC full-time. I don’t know how you handled living down here. I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND. The only thing saving my sanity is that I have some decent friends down here. I …

Red: Bush Approval RatingBlue: War Worth It.Green: Did Right Thing/Not A Mistake.(via – Andrew Sullivan)Over on The National Review, John Derbyshire nicely sums up the bizarre logic Bush handed us last night: —-We can’t leave Iraq without a victory.—-Unless Maliki & Co. get their act together, we can’t achieve victory.—-If Maliki & Co. don’t get their act together, we’ll leave. …

I found this giant Red-Tailed Hawk enjoying a pigeon in Central Park. A nearby photographer mentioned that this particular hawk is the son of the famous Pale Male, the hawk that lives on Mary Tyler Moore’s balcony and has created so much controversy. I say we import another couple of thousand hawks. Kill all dem pigeons! Kill ’em now! Related: …

How’s your love life?.

Farewell to Lily Munster, my favorite sitcom mom. 1. “Oh, Marilyn… the circles under your eyes. How lovely you look today.” 2. “Eddie! You better start dawdling, or you’re going to be on time for school!” 3. “Have you done everything? Have you put away your toys and brushed your fangs?”

OK, you trollbusters out there, here’s a class project. Some of you have noted and responded to “Regina Griggs”, recently trolling the JMG comments. (The real Regina Griggs is the media spokes-hater for Parents & Friends Of Ex-Gays.) Let’s engage the JMG brain-trust out there and see what y’all can do with the Fake Regina’s IP address: (redacted). I understand …

“I’m a big fan of K-Fed, that’s who I want to marry. What did he do that was so wrong? She’s the idiot. She’s the one who gave him the Ferrari. Who gives a Ferrari to rough trade? Who could blame him for taking it?” – John Waters..

Last night I saw Children Of Men starring Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, and Michael Caine. It was bleak, grim, depressing, violent. I loved it. I’ve always dug the apocalyptic, dystopian sort of movies (The Stand, The Day After, Threads), and Children Of Men is the best of its sort that I’ve seen in ages. Directed by Alfonso Cuarón (Y Tu …

Seriously, it was Jersey.

125th & Lexington, the 5 train. Man With Aquarium: Hey, is this here the express train? Joe: Yes, it is. MWA: Nobody asked YOU, fuckhead! OK, then.

UPDATE: Above: The actual iPhone. Is everybody just sitting out there on white plastic pins and needles, waiting for today’s big product announcement at Macworld? Trembling with unimaginable delight at whatever Steve Jobs is going to unveil? Tapping your credit card nervously on the edge of your keyboard, ready to BUY BUY BUY it, whatever it is? Because You. Must. …