“The question is, actually, do you pray for sick animals? I have quite a history of praying for sick pets. One time, I was getting in my car – the kids had a kitten – and the kitten jumped into the car and I closed the [unintelligible] and broke the cat’s neck.
“So I prayed for this dead cat and he came back to life! As soon as I finished praying for him, he jumped up and he ran all around!
“One time, actually I prayed for a bird – it’s not an animal, but it’s a bird – anyway, I just put my finger in the cage and I prayed – you know, I touched the canary, and I prayed that God would heal that bird.
“And the next morning we got up and Peter and Doris Wagner’s canary was singing! I didn’t know if I should tell them I prayed for their canary or not, but I found out they were delighted. ” – Scamvangelist Cindy Jacobs.
PREVIOUSLY ON JMG: Cindy Jacobs declares COVID to be “illegal in Jesus’ name.” Cindy Jacobs says the Equality Act will cause civil war. Cindy Jacobs says God told her that he will “destroy” Kim Jong-Un if he doesn’t convert to Christianity by the end of 2018. Cindy Jacobs declares that God wants Christians to be “profoundly wealthy” so jealous Jews will convert. Cindy Jacobs urges Christians to vote Trump so America stops “polluting” other countries with gayness. Cindy Jacobs commands the clouds over Israel to dissipate during a 700 Club photo shoot. Cindy Jacobs says she caused a short woman to grow three inches “on the spot.” Cindy Jacobs says her prayers stopped the shoe-bomber. Cindy Jacobs says her six year-old son prayed away the assassination of Ronald Reagan. Cindy Jacobs prays away her own tumor. God tells Cindy Jacobs that he’s going to punish America for gay marriage. Cindy Jacobs prays away a terrorist sleeper cell. Cindy Jacobs prays away mental illness (but only in others). Cindy Jacobs prays away a car crash that would have killed David Barton. Cindy Jacobs’ daughter prays away a tornado. Cindy Jacobs prays away the global recession. God sends Cindy Jacobs magical spaghetti. Cindy Jacobs prays away Hurricane Sandy. (It totally didn’t hit Nebraska.) Cindy Jacobs reveals that God killed thousands of birds because of the repeal of DADT.