“Psychic” Uri Geller To Stop Brexit Telepathically

The Guardian reports:

The illusionist Uri Geller has called on the British people to help him in his efforts to telepathically stop Brexit by sending their own telepathic messages to Theresa May’s mind, compelling her to revoke article 50.

He plans to transmit his psychic energy into May’s brain at the “very mystical time” of 11.11 in the morning and evening every day from a secret location near his home in Israel.

He has already successfully penetrated May’s mind, he added, when she visited his home three years before she became prime minister. “I bombarded her mind to be the prime minister – and she became the prime minister,” he said.