Politico reports: Michael Cohen on Wednesday will testify that President Trump directed his charitable organization to repay a fake bidder for a portrait of himself, according to a copy of his prepared remarks. “Mr. Trump directed me to find a straw bidder to purchase a portrait of him that was being auctioned at an Art Hamptons Event,” Cohen plans to …

The Hill reports: President Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen will testify Wednesday that Trump dodged military service in Vietnam with false claims about a medical condition. In his opening statement before the House Oversight and Reform Committee, Cohen will say that Trump told him there “was no surgery” for bone spurs and instructed him not to answer reporters’ specific questions …

The Washington Post reports: Hours after sending an incendiary tweet accusing Michael Cohen of infidelity, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) apologized late Tuesday, insisting that he did not intend to threaten President Trump’s former lawyer on the eve of his highly anticipated testimony before Congress. Without evidence, Gaetz suggested earlier Tuesday that Cohen, who is married, had multiple “girlfriends,” prompting some …

The BBC reports: A group of funeral directors in South Africa say they will sue a self-styled prophet who claims to have resurrected a dead man. A viral video of Pastor Alph Lukau shows him shouting “rise up” to a man lying down in a coffin who then jerks upright to cheers from worshippers. The funeral companies say they were …

The Huffington Post reports: President Donald Trump scheduled a dinner for Wednesday with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un at their summit in Hanoi, Vietnam, but only after House Democrats announced that his former lawyer and “fixer” would publicly testify on Capitol Hill at about the same time. The apparent “counterprogramming” of Michael Cohen’s expected damaging testimony concerns arms control …

Vox reports: Michael Cohen’s prepared opening statement for his testimony before the House Oversight Committee Wednesday is out — and wow, is it a doozy. The New York Times obtained Cohen’s statement, and posted it online early Wednesday morning. Perhaps Cohen’s most explosive claim is that he heard Roger Stone tell Trump about WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange’s plans to release …

The New York Times reports:  Jumaane D. Williams, a Democratic councilman from Brooklyn, was elected as New York City public advocate Tuesday night, notching a victory over 16 other candidates in a free-for-all race that could give him a platform to seek higher office. Mr. Williams entered the race as a front-runner after his surprise insurgency campaign for lieutenant governor …

Another television flashback from our pal Matt Baume: The time has come for us to talk about the sitcom Married With Children. Though it was primarily concerned with the mating habits of heterosexuals, or lack thereof, the show touched on LGBT life now and then with surprising sensitivity. And even more surprisingly, it went so far as to air an …

The Washington Examiner reports: Michael Cohen is eagerly awaiting the chance to tell the American people his side of the story before reporting to prison for, among other charges, lying to Congress. Cohen, President Trump’s longtime personal lawyer, made the brief comment Tuesday after a marathon, closed-door interview with the Senate Intelligence Committee. “At this point in time, I really …

CBS News reports: The House of Representatives passed a resolution late Tuesday afternoon to terminate President Trump’s national emergency proclamation, which is also being challenged in court by a multi-state lawsuit. The final vote of 245 to 182 fell largely along party lines, but 13 Republicans joined Democrats in supporting the measure. The bill, introduced by Democrats last week, would …

When we last checked in with Charisma News, the nation’s top site for anti-witchcraft tutorials, they warned us that burned eggs can summon demons. Today, ex-gay pastor and alleged former hooker David Kyle Foster has some thoughts about jerking off: A person who practices masturbation without imagining sex with someone is rare indeed, if he or she exists at all. …

CNN reports: Former Vice President Joe Biden revealed on Tuesday that his family is on board with a 2020 run and he’s “very close” to making a decision in his most direct comments to date about his thinking on jumping into the campaign. Speaking at the University of Delaware, Biden said that he has discussed a run with his family, …

WITNESS TAMPERING. Axios reports: Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) tweeted a threat to President Trump’s former personal attorney Michael Cohen on the eve of his public testimony before the House Oversight Committee. Cohen originally postponed his appearance before various congressional committees in part because of “threats against his family” from Trump and his attorney Rudy Giuliani. At his hearing tomorrow, Cohen …

USA Today reports: Twitter announced that it is permanently suspending Jacob Wohl, a 21-year-old Internet hoaxer and supporter of President Donald Trump, following the publication of a USA TODAY article in which he boasted of using the social media platform to spread lies and disinformation. In the article published Tuesday morning, Wohl disclosed what he claimed were his plans to …

Fox News reports: The Republican National Committee is telling Michael Cohen, its former deputy finance director who has turned on President Trump, to “have fun in prison” as part of a coordinated war room effort to push back against his expected anti-Trump public testimony on Capitol Hill on Wednesday. “Convicted felon Michael Cohen is going to prison for lying, including …

“For years and years, every Republican who dared to call for common sense safeguards for Americans’ ballots was demonized by Democrats and their allies. We were hit with left-wing talking points insisting that voter fraud wasn’t real. Never happens, they said. That fraud just didn’t happen. That modest efforts to ensure that voters are who they say they are and …

Politico reports: Sen. Bernie Sanders’ nascent presidential campaign made a major staffing shuffle on Tuesday, with three of his top ad gurus from his 2016 campaign announcing they would not stay on for his 2020 run. Tad Devine, Julian Mulvey and Mark Longabaugh in a joint statement cited a differing “creative vision” from the senator for their split. The eponymous …

NBC News reports: Rotten Tomatoes is fighting back against trolls. The powerful movie review aggregation website announced Monday it would ban user comments before a film premieres in theaters. The move is in part a bid to crack down on what it called “non-constructive input, sometimes bordering on trolling, which we believe is a disservice to our general readership.” The …

Bloomberg reports: President Donald Trump’s former lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen is no longer a recognized attorney after he was disbarred in New York after pleading guilty to lying to Congress about a plan for a Trump Tower project in Moscow. An appeals court in Manhattan granted a request from a disciplinary panel to remove Cohen’s name from the roll …

The Charlotte Observer reports: Citing his health, Republican Mark Harris said Tuesday that he won’t run in a new election for the 9th Congressional District. “After consulting with my physicians, there are several things that my health situation requires as a result of the extremely serious condition that I faced in mid-January. One of those is a necessary surgery that …