The Detroit Free Press reports:
Readers, we are honored and privileged to bring you the single greatest piece of news you’ve heard in your entire life.
A study out of the University of California-Irvine has revealed that consumption of moderate amounts of alcohol and coffee is linked to living a longer life. Re-read that last sentence. There are no typos. There are no jokes.
The key word is “moderate,” of course. The study, called “The 90+ Study,” started in 2003 and examined “the oldest-old” age group — about 1,700 nonagenarians — to determine what is key to living to your 90th birthday and beyond.