Trump Attacks Banker Who’s Not Actually Running

Here’s what Glorious Leader is responding to:

JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s Jamie Dimon picked a fight with President Donald Trump — and immediately regretted it. “I think I could beat Trump” in an election, the Wall Street executive said at an event Wednesday morning that was supposed to celebrate his firm’s philanthropy. “I’m as tough as he is, I’m smarter than he is.”

By noon, the bank sent out a statement from its chairman and chief executive officer backtracking completely: “I should not have said it. I’m not running for president. Proves I wouldn’t make a good politician. I get frustrated because I want all sides to come together to help solve big problems.”