SUH-NAP: Vice Reveals Homocon Milo’s Darkest Secret

According to Sam Kriss at Vice UK, the big dark secret that Milo Yiannopoulos doesn’t want the world know isn’t that he’s casually accepting of sex between minors and adults. Nope, it’s something much more damaging to his image. Kriss writes:

Milo’s secret is that he’s one of the most boring people on the planet. He spends every waking second trying to hide this fact. It’s why an adult man who used to dress exactly like the awkward tech journalist he was now swans around in costumes ranging from “Poochie the dog” to “the binbags behind Asda” to “scene-filler from Triumph of the Will“. It’s why, like every other failed reactionary loser to get bored of these pissy islands, he went off to seek fame in America, where people confuse our accents for wit and our humdrum sex lives for personality. It’s why he won’t stop running up and down in front of the world, screaming “look at me!” He needs to keep it up forever, because as soon as he stops, people will realise there’s nothing to see.

Listen to what Milo actually says, beyond all the teenage showiness about how many cocks he’s sucked and how great his clothes are. He thinks Islam is “sinister”, feminism is stupid and the world revolves around him. He’s someone’s Home Counties dad, a spluttering retired colonel full of gravy and defeat, spraying little specks of Brussels sprouts from his mouth as he drones on about immigrants at the dinner table, while the kids roll their eyes and push their peas forlornly from one side of the plate to the other. The reason Milo’s comments on paedophilia have done him so much damage is that they’re the only opinions he holds – including those that are outrightly fascist – that wouldn’t also be held by any ordinary middle-aged pub bore.

You really should read the full essay for its gloriously classic British snark.