Breitbart: Starbucks Hates The Baby Jesus

There aren’t any Christmas trees or snowflakes on this year’s holiday cups at Starbucks. Therefore, according to Breitbart, the coffee giant hates the Blessed Baby Jesus and is subliminally telling all Christians to get screwed. All because this year’s cup is just plain red. They write:

I asked Starbucks why, but they just sent me a “factsheet” with their latest flavours and a link to their website where they’ve talked about wanting “to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories.” “We’re embracing the simplicity and the quietness of it. It’s [a] more open way to usher in the holiday,” said their CEO. You can see what’s going on here. More open? You mean, you’re trying not to “offend” anyone.

Frankly, the only thing that can redeem them from this whitewashing of Christmas is to print Bible verses on their cups next year. Not that I’d buy their burnt coffee anyway. And certainly not while they keep spelling my name “Ragih” on their cups. “But Ragih,” I hear you say. “Why do you care about what Starbucks is doing anyway? It’s crap coffee and none of us buy it.”

Sure, but plenty of people do. And subliminally, they’re being told/reminded that this time of the year is no longer about Christmas. It’s about the colour red, or something. It’s a “holiday season”. Don’t say Merry Christmas. It’s offensive. And no, I’m not “reading too much into it”. This is happening. And it’s as disgusting as an Eggnog Latte.

You cannot make it up when it comes to Teabagistan, you simply cannot.