“Dear Joe, It’s hard to write you this. My office is in trouble. And I need your help. I have been working overtime fighting against the radical Homosexual Lobby. Today, I’m worried. Despite the rising tide of homosexual ‘marriage,’ and the Obama Administration’s war on Christianity, the radical Homosexual Lobby is drooling for more. I see well-known agents of the radical Homosexual Lobby everywhere. They are huddled in dark corners scheming and plotting. It is our duty as decent God-believing adults to fight against the tyranny and immorality of the radical Homosexual Lobby. These people admit that they want to molest our children. They admit that they want special rights that no American has. They admit that they want to infiltrate and weaken our military’s moral fiber. They admit that they want complete control over the national law enforcement apparatus. They admit that they’re deviants. But now, my friend, I need to count on you. I absolutely must raise $73,175.61 in the next 25 days to pay past bills and keep programs going. I need to be able to count on you for a special gift. Can I count on you? If I am not able to raise the money, I don’t know what I will do. I don’t know how I can keep fighting.” – Eugene Delguadio, in a 3000-word money beg.