From an Australian version of The Onion:
Canberra today became the first Australian state or territory to formally install Satan, Lord of Darkness, as its divine leader, following the passage of marriage equality laws through our capital’s God-forsaken Legislative Assembly. Speaking after the final vote, Chief Minister Katy Gallagher maintained that she was glad she did it. “The ACT has long been the most forward-thinking Parliament in this country and so we welcome our eternity of suffering at the hand of Abaddon, angel of the bottomless pit,” she said as the screams of the damned filled the air. “We are glad to offer as sacrifice the souls of our citizens. It seems, at least, a better alternative than a Coalition government.”
Response from the Devil was swift and violent, as sodomites and succubi from around the nation congregated on the steps of Parliament to pay tribute to the Great Deceiver and play overly loud disco music. A male reveler, holding hands with another man in direct contravention of the laws of Moses, exclaimed “Isn’t this wild? Me and Tyrone are going to get married wearing ostrich outfits because we’re in love!” The two men kissed and a nearby believer exploded in a ball of fire, leaving his distraught widow to moan, “Why do you gays hate us so much?” But her cries couldn’t be heard over the cheering as two elderly women married and promptly kidnapped her children. Which is obviously now legal.
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