“For thousands of years of recorded human history, no society has defended the legal standard of marriage as anything other than between man and woman. Only since 2000 have we seen a redefinition of this foundational unit of society in various nations. Today, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to join the trend, despite the clear will of the people’s representatives through DOMA. What the Court has done will undermine the best interest of children and the best interests of the United States.” – Michele Bachmann, speaking from a Minneapolis outlet of Lane Bryant, where Ladybird could be seen sobbing into the sleeve of his newest caftan.