New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan: We’re Being Threatened With Lawsuits
For Not Hosting Gay Weddings

According to New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan, Catholic parishes have been inundated with threats of lawsuits over not hosting gay weddings. That revelation will come as a surprise to the rest of the world, who has not heard a single peep about any such thing.

“One of our arguments has always been that people of principle who feel this violates their deepest-held convictions are going to be forced to the wall,” Archbishop Dolan said. “We were told we were being Chicken Littles and that was ridiculous.” But “no sooner was the ink dry,” he said, than priests throughout the state started coming to him with stories of couples threatening to sue if they didn’t agree to rent out their parishes for same-sex weddings.

Richard Barnes, executive director of the New York Catholic Conference, said threats like those are unlikely to gain legal traction in the near future. A religious exemption in the New York marriage law specifically prohibits lawsuits against churches that refuse to provide their buildings or services for gay weddings. It also protects such religious organizations from being penalized by the state, through loss of aid to church welfare programs, for example.

Could the noble Archbishop be a giant fucking liar?