This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days…

Nevada: Father Kevin McAuliffe confesses to stealing $650K to support his gambling habit.
Texas: Pastor Francisco Antonio Hernandez arrested for molesting at least four girls, including three who were sisters.
Tennessee: Pastor Rickey Alan Reed arrested for burglarizing the home of a parishioner.
Oklahoma: Pastor Joe Cheater arrested for molestation and child rape of four girls.
New York: Reverend Victor Rosa arrested for fraudulently cashing pension checks of long-deceased neighbor.
New York: Father Brady arrested on two counts of child molestation.
Kansas: Pastor Birger Draget charged with 21 counts of sex crimes against a child.
Texas: Mistress of Pastor Tracy Burleson convicted in his plot to pay his son to murder his wife.
Georgia: Pastor Joshua Drucker convicted on two counts of murder.
Ontario: Father Jose Silva resigns after sexual assault charges.
London: Father Laurence Soper has gone on the lam after being accused of multiple counts of child abuse. Soper is 80.
Ontario: Father Linus Bastien charged with two counts of indecent assault.
Illinois: Imprisoned felon sues the Pope for childhood sexual abuse by his priest.