In this week’s missive, Eugene retells a story so infamous that it’s been posted to his Wikipedia page. It was a dark and stormy lie-filled night….
Dear Joe, Radical homosexual groups like the Gay-Lesbian Task Force and ACT-UP receive millions from the government. Hundreds of millions of tax dollars flow to homosexual activists through funding for so-called AIDS-awareness programs and research grants — and I just read in the paper, cash even went to build a strip club! One stormy night, I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn, my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses.
Trembling with worry, I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press. Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio, what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time, Delgaudio, we can’t lose!” Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win
Somehow, THIS TIME, Eugene escaped without being hit over the head with rocks! Whew!