Saying they “won’t be bullied” by radical homosexual activists, anti-gay groups are passing around a website that claims to be collecting donations to send Chick-Fil-A sandwiches to the operators of Change.org, the progressive site that launched a petition to boycott the chain.
Okay, wait a minute. Halt the Inquisition. We call fowl! You mean Chick-fil-A, a company founded by a Christian—a company that has explicit Christian values—isn’t free to donate chicken sandwiches to organizations celebrating traditional marriage without getting hen-pecked by gay activists? C’mon. This is America. Pro-family companies and individuals should be able to express their religious views openly. Right? Yes, right! But our gay activist friends have stinky wet feathers and a fowl mood over anyone who disagrees with them, so we think it’s only right to respond to their petitions and boycotts with . . . chicken!
Let’s show them some love by burying them in Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches. When you donate, we’ll use your donation to buy and send a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich to Change.Org’s headquarters—your way of supporting Chick-fil-A, and telling gay activists to stop having a cow, and for goodness’ sakes stop attacking someone else’s religion. (And we WON’T include your name on anything, since gay activists have a habit of personally attacking individuals who fund their opposition. Nice tolerant bunch, huh?)
As always, the hypocritical Christianists fail to note the many, many boycotts they’ve launched against companies with employee LGBT groups, with gay marketing campaigns, and those that have made donations to gay causes. Gay boycott = radical homosexual intimidation. Christian boycott = taking their money elsewhere. If any chicken sandwiches actually make it to the folks at Change.org, we encourage them to promptly donate that food to gay kids made homeless by Christian Love™.