Pope OKs Condom Use For Male Hookers

In a bizarre interview with a German journalist, Emperor Palpatine has decreed for the first time that the usage of condoms is now sanctioned by the Catholic Church in “certain circumstances.” The “for example” he uses? Male hookers!

To illustrate his apparent shift in position, Benedict offered the example of a male prostitute using a condom. “There may be justified individual cases, for example when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be … a first bit of responsibility, to re-develop the understanding that not everything is permitted and that one may not do everything one wishes,” Benedict was quoted as saying. “But it is not the proper way to deal with the horror of HIV infection.” Benedict reiterated that condom use alone would not solve the problem of HIV/AIDS. “More must happen,” he said. Becoming simply fixated on the issue of condoms makes sexuality more banal and exactly this is the reason why so many people no longer find sexuality to be an expression of their love, but a type of self-administered drug.”

The interview will be published in book form and will be translated into 18 languages.