Just hitting the shelves of the UK-based supermarket chain Tesco is the lasagne sandwich. And you thought KFC’s Double Down was gross. The Guardian’s food blogger has a field day.
The first thing that hits you on opening the packet is a faint but distinct whiff of tuna, an inauspicious start for a beefy sandwich. Biting down, the texture is soft and claggy, the cheesy sauce acting as a lubricant to bring the cotton wool bread firmly into contact with your dental enamel from where it refuses to budge without the aid of a fingernail. The diced beef is beefy in the way that a cheap beefburger is beefy – redolent of the artificial flame-grilled flavour favoured by certain fast food outlets and devoid of any garlic, oregano or other identifiable attempt at Italian-ness. Quite where the pasta sheet in the middle disappears to is a mystery – it’s there when you bite down, and gone by the time you swallow. Overall, the effect is of a saladless, cold, lightly pre-chewed beefburger.
Something something, British cuisine, something.