This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days…

: Pastor Jose Campoverde charged with molesting four girls living in church housing for needy families.
England: Father David Pearce confesses to sexually assaulting five underage boys.
Ohio: Pastor Joshua O’Bannion accused of molestation by two girls who came forward after O’Bannion was arrested in Arizona on the same charge.
Alabama: Pastor Curtis Willis shot and killed by police after he axed off the hand of a deputy who’d arrived to serve an order of protection for Curtis’ wife. The deputy’s hand was successfully reattached.
New York: Iman Ahmad Wais Afzali charged with lying to FBI during terrorism inquiry.
England: Church of England under fire for not revealing that Vicar Dominick Stone had been arrested for possession of “indecent photographs.”
Louisiana: Rev. James Ford accused of “inappropriately touching” three girls whose parents were arrested for allowing Ford to molest them.
Maryland: Father Michael Barnes arrested for molesting a boy from ’77-’82.
Virginia: Father Rodney L. Rodis appealing his conviction for embezzling more than $600K-$1M from his churches.

This Week’s Winner-
Italy: Vatican official Father Cesare Burgazzi was arrested after leading police on a 20-minute high-speed chase after being found “driving slowly” through a red light district known for transsexual prostitutes. Two wrecked police cars and three injured officers later, Burgazzi was taken into custody screaming, “You have no idea who I am. You don’t know who you are messing with!” This, after attempting to run the officers down with his car. Burgazzi works at the Vatican State Department and is Master of Ceremonies at St. Peter’s Basilica. He claims he thought the police were robbers and denies that they found the front seats of his car in the reclined position. His lawyer said, “My client is not a user of prostitutes or transsexuals – he did not have condoms in his car.”