This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days…

Florida: Pastor Samuel Darin Taylor charged with defrauding his church of over $250K.
New York: Father James J. McDevitt charged with the sexual abuse of six boys.
Russia: U.S.-based Pastor Hio Sun Pak jailed for 18 months for bribing immigration officials to overlook illegal Chinese labor used to build his church.
Florida: Pastor Donnell Dewitt Williams charged with money laundering after probe reveals $400K in loans processed in the namea of his congregants.
Tennessee: Pastor John Franklin McCarroll charged with indecent exposure at public park. Bonus: Glory hole involved. Extra bonus: McCarroll frequently preached against gay marriage. Extra hilarious bonus: The motto of McCarroll’s ministry is “Come as you are, but don’t leave like you came.”
Texas: Living Praise Christian Academy Prinicpal Darrell Dean Dunn charged with child molestation.
South Carolina: Pastor Leon Dizzley convicted of money laundering for selling nine luxury cars to drug dealers.
New York: Wife of Pastor Mike Bowers charged with 14 felony counts of defrauding a United Nations fund intended to help women in Iraq.
Maryland: Father Aaron Joseph Cote found guilty of child molestation.
Pennsylvania: Christian songwriter and schoolteacher Heather Lynn Zoe charged with having sex with minors. Bonus: Songs on Zoe’s debut CD include Face Down and Over And Over.
New York: “Prosperity gospel” motivational speaker Jeffrey Locker found strangled in Harlem. Police suspect the accomplices of the prostitute that Locker had been patronizing.

This week’s winners:
India: Father Thomas Kottoor, Father Jose Puthrukayil, and Sister Mary Sephy charged with murdering Sister Mary Abhaya after she walked in on them having a threeway. Police say the Holy Trinity beat Sister Abhaya with an axe handle and threw her into a convent well where she drowned.