This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days….

Indiana: Pastor Ernest Beal charged with stealing $75K from the personal accounts of residents of the developmentally disabled adults living in group homes he was overseeing.
New York: Father Patrick Dunne charged with stealing $432K from his parish, including money from a fund meant for Katrina victims.
Canada: Father Robert Borne charged with molesting three children.
Colombia: Pastor Ruben Salazar charged with extortion for telling legislative aides to his position in the national congress that they must pay him a portion of their salaries in order to keep their jobs.
Texas: Pastor Eddie Shauberger charged with defrauding his partners in a home health care business.
Florida: Pastor Jose Alfredo Coronado charged with molesting 12 year-old boy. The now 18 year-old victim just came forward because Coronado won’t stop harassing him by email.
Arizona: Bishop Rick Painter sentenced to ten days in jail and three years of probation for refusing to stop ringing his church’s electronic bells twelve times a day, seven days a week. Painter plans to appeal and will be represented by the (famously anti-gay) Alliance Defense Fund.
California: Pastor Andrew Belant faces four life sentences after being convicted of molesting four boys ages 9-12.
Florida: Pastor Timothy Limothe charged with 32 felony counts of possession of kiddie porn.
Missouri: Pastor Theresa Lin Oyler-Sayles convicted of stealing $40K from her church via fraudulently obtained credit cards.

This week’s winner (not a crime, but related to the murder of Dr. George Tiller.)
Kentucky: Pastor Ken Pagano will host an “Open Carry Church Service” on June 27th in which congregants are encouraged to bring their firearms to the New Bethel Church. Pagano is adverising his service with a poster using a “blood splatter” font. One lucky disciple of Jesus will win a free handgun at the service. Pagano: “Not every branch of Christianity is pacifistic.” NO KIDDING.