Memo To Gayle Haggard:
He’s Just Not That Into You

Gayle Haggard will appear with her totally gay husband on Oprah today, where she says that she’s known since the early days of their 30-year marriage that Ted had nasty thoughts about mansex. Gayle: “I felt it was the thing that could destroy Ted if he gave in to it. So I prayed for him and I felt as though he was winning the battle.”

Yet she was shocked when the Mike Jones thingy happened. SHOCKED! Meanwhile she’d lived the typically lavish lifestyle of the wife of a wealthy evangelical. No sympathy here for Mrs. Haggard. She knew what she was getting into and as long as the big bucks kept rolling in, she was happy to roll around on giant piles of money sent in by the idiots her husband had terrified with his anti-gay sermons. Gayle, he’s just not that into you. He never was. And you knew it. Drop the fucking victim act, nobody’s buying it.