Vatican Defends Homophobic Pope

Lady Benedicia de Prada was busy hot-gluing precious gems to her Miss Hitler Youth 1944 pageant crown, so a Vatican spokeszombie stepped in defend her recent statement that mankind must defend against dirty trannies (AKA: the competition) as vigorously as against rainforest erosion.

During an interview on this morning on Radio 4’s Today programme, Cardinal Murphy-O’Connor said that the pope “wasn’t condemning anyone or any person” with his comments. The cardinal went on to say that the pope was only trying to emphasise the importance of the family, and the responsibility on humans to procreate. He also said that Pope Benedict’s comments were “quite difficult to interpret” and as a result of this that he had been “very much” misrepresented in the media. The Pope said behaviour beyond traditional heterosexual relations is “a destruction of God’s work.” He also said man must be protected “from the destruction of himself” and urged respect for the “nature of the human being as man and woman. The tropical forests do deserve our protection. But man, as a creature, does not deserve any less.”

Meanwhile thugs around the world felt emboldened by the Pope’s call to protect mankind from homos, which they plan to do with fists, boots, and guns.