So I had a few firemenz in my apartment last night. (Cue porn music…wacka wacka wacka.)
Sadly, they were here on business as the woman upstairs somehow set a flowerpot on fire, panicked, and hurled it onto her fire escape – where it set her other dead plants on fire too.
Two things. People, fire escapes are for escaping fire, NOT for you to create the illusion that you have a forest view. You live in Manhattan, deal with the bricks. Secondly, how the fuck do you set a flowerpot on fire? The firemen said it was probably a mishap with her gas stove-top. Why do people on this island insist on cooking with fire? Are we in the Stone Age? Microwaves are cheap and plentiful and there are twenty restaurants on every block.
And not one of the firemen was hot. Not one.