And I’m Francis, The Talking Mule. UPDATE: I’ve gotten several emails politely chastising me for for my “flip” and “cynical” references to the 2007 Weblog Awards pageant and for not observing proper netiquette by providing links to the other finalists. No apologies for the first bit, but it seems I’ve been properly served on the netiqette part. Ouch, how embaraskin! …

After reading the story about yesterday’s first-ever public unveiling of the King Tut’s mummifed face, I kept turning the page back to try and figure out why the computer-generated image of his face seemed so familiar. Ah, got it. Barbara Streisand, circa Funny Girl. It turns out, others think the same thing.

The Grill, First Avenue, 8AM……Two people in front of me, an assistant is taking her boss’ breakfast order over her speaker-phone. Woman On Speaker: You’re unbelievable. I told you NO FUCKING EGGS! Omelets are made of EGGS. Breakfast burritos are made of EGGS. No FUCKING eggs! God, what fucking planet are you from? Get me a toasted raisin bagel and …

David Phillips, whom you may recall for telling the world about his scatified encounter with Larry Craig, is in the news again. Phillips has been told by the Virginia DMV that he must surrender his POOFTER vanity plate. For 11 years, over nearly 200,000 miles, with the blessing of the state of Virginia, David Phillips has driven his Tracker with …

The cover story in the current issue of Newsweek discusses the increasing likelihood of Mayor Bloomberg joining the presidential race, something I’ve been telling you people IS going to happen. Calling him “the billion dollar wild card”, the story delves into Bloomberg’s motivations and the effect his independent candidacy would have on Clinton and Giuliani. Bloomberg continues to vow that …

A reader tipped me off to a new site called RepublicanSexOffenders.com, whose mission is “exposing the hypocrisy of Republican ‘family values'”. Whew, there’s lots of baddies in there.

Barack Obama made a surprise cameo on SNL this weekend in a skit in which all the Democratic candidates come to Hillary’s Halloween party. I especially liked the dig at Bill Richardson.

Anybody out there own a cell-phone jammer yet? Man, I would love to have one of these suckers. As cellphone use has skyrocketed, making it hard to avoid hearing half a conversation in many public places, a small but growing band of rebels is turning to a blunt countermeasure: the cellphone jammer, a gadget that renders nearby mobile devices impotent. …

I was woken up last night by my super banging on my neighbor’s door to tell her that she’d left her keys in the lock. Again. For a middle-aged lady, she seems to have a lot of big nights. The keys are still there this morning. One of these days I’m just gonna take those damn keys and throw them …

Today’s NYC Marathon runs past my street at the 16-mile mark. The course goes through all five boroughs, although the Staten Island portion is pretty much just the Verrazano Bridge and the runners wisely only step into the Bronx for a few blocks. By the time I took the above photo, the winners had already been interviewed in Central Park, …

Furball was a hot, sweaty ball of man fun. There had to have been some kind of attendance record, the place was just on the good side of too crowded. Most of the people I know in NYC were in the house, with rock-god Bob Mould making an appearance with some of his DC crew. I also had a nice …

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so. Like everywhere and such as. For our children.

The NYC LGBT Community Center holds their Furball dance tomorrow. Come out and get sweaty with 600+ hairy menz dancing on two floors to DJs Man Parrish and Jack Reina. (I’m going, duh!) I went to the last one and had a fantastic time. Their sound system and dance floor is as good as some clubs around town. Also of …

“Even when there’s a divorce, you still have a mom and a dad. And even where one member of the partnership may pass away, the memory and the characteristics of that gender, of that partner influence the development of a child. I’m in favor of promoting, as a society, the marriage of men and women and the development of children …

Yes, it’s been one year. Check out Colorado Confidential’s excellent recap of the entire delicious mess.

Genre Magazine’s new editor, Neal Boulton, says he’s the victim of an odd sort of gay-bashing: “Former Men’s Fitness editor Neal Boulton, who sprinted out of the closet this year when he publicly made out with Jann Wenner outside the Time Warner Center, is being harassed – for acting too straight. ‘Some p – – – ed-off gay-activist types bombarded …

At Fort Bragg, North Carolina, Pfc. Johnny Lamar Dalton, 25, has been sentenced to 40 months in military prison for having unprotected sex with an 18 year-old male he met online. Dalton had tested positive last year and was ordered by his superiors not to have unprotected sex. After the teenager tested positive, his mother notified the military. Dalton was …

By now you’ve no doubt heard about Duane “Dog” Chapman, star of A&E’s Dog, The Bounty Hunter, whose racist phone tirade about his son’s black girlfriend was leaked to the press. The transcript: Duane “Dog” Chapman: I’m not taking the chance on some motherf**ker. I don’t care if she’s a Mexican, a whore, whatever…it’s not because she’s black. It’s because …

Veteran gay reporter Rex Wockner, a San Diego resident, has filed a heartwarming report about the amazing response of the gay community to the fires that have ravaged Southern California. An excerpt: None of San Diego’s gayest areas was hit by the massive wildfires that roared around the county and the city last week, but GLBT people stepped up in …

I never win these things. Although there was that Malcontent thing..