The TSA Are Flying Monkeys

Yesterday a NYC-bound Spirit Airlines passenger smuggled a “fist-sized” marmoset past security at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International by keeping the monkey under his hat. Only after the flight was airborne did other passengers notice the animal “playing in the man’s ponytail.” A day earlier, the passenger got the monkey past security as he departed Lima, Peru. When asked how they could have missed the animal at Fort Lauderdale customs and again at the departure gate, a spokesman for the Transportation Security Agency said, “Basically, it’s because we suck so very, very much. Seriously, you people would not believe how much we suck. Oh, and you’ll have to hand over that hair gel.”