Rabbit Season! Duck Season!

Rite Aid, Grand Central Terminal, Wednesday 2pm

An elderly woman approaches a pharmacist, who is out on the floor with a phone, examing the shelves.

Elderly Woman (brandishng a pill bottle): Excuse me, do you have these in a suppository?
Pharmacist (puts phone on his shoulder): If there aren’t any on the shelf, then we’re out.
EW: I need them in the big bottle.
PH: I’ll help you in a moment, m’am. I’m helping another customer.
EW: Well, do you have them?
PH (annoyed): Not if they aren’t on the shelf.
EW: I need them in the big bottle. Suppositories.
PH: M’am, I’ll be with you in just a minute.
EW: OK.
(Ten seconds pass.)
EW: Do you have them? I need the big bottle. Suppositories.
PH: M’am, please! One minute.
EW: OK.
(Ten seconds pass.)
EW: Are you looking?
PH (grabs bottle from woman): These are pills. We only have the pills.
EW: I want the suppositories. The big bottle.
PH (wearily): We don’t HAVE the suppositories. We only have the pills.
EW: I want the suppositories. The big bottle. Do you have them?
PH (light bulb goes on): I only have the suppositories.
EW: I want the pills.
PH (puts bottle on shelf): Let me look. Oh, here they are! Pills! Do you want the big bottle?
EW: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! PILLS.
PH (hands woman the original bottle): I only have the big bottle.
EW: Wonderful! Thank you! You’ve been very helpful.

The elderly woman heads for the cashier. I give the pharmacist my best “Well played!” look and we share a smile.