Finally. That hard-to-find rainbow-hued gay pride bikini you’ve all been waiting for is here – available now on Christopher Street – so please rush, ill-tempered Kazakhstani clerks are standing by, anxiously fingering their Saddam mustaches as you decide whether you want the matching suspenders, wristbands, and choker. Which, of course, you do. Sadly, the rhinestone tiara is for display purposes only. For your convenience, you can get a Brazilian wax for your new bikini at any of the 73 nail salons in the Greater West Village Shopping District.