Paging the Conde Nast art department: Father Tony (NSFW) has some mad photoshop skillz, evidenced here by the creamy complexions of Superdaddy and myself. My skin hasn’t looked this baby-smooth since spring break ’81 when I passed out drunk in the Marlin Beach Hotel and awoke to find that my friends had entertained themselves by giving me a cucumber-avocado facial. I smelled like guacamole all weekend. I can still remember the owner of said product screaming about them having wasted his Bal Harbor purchase on me. Thanks for being my volunteer aesthetician, Tony. Makes me totally wanna look into botox.