East Harlem Run-On

(Taking a deep breath):I dusted the bike off for the first time this year tonight and had a long ride along the East River, starting at the bridge over the expressway that runs under the Hospital For Ominous Surgery, rolling by the Blackwell Island Lighthouse (built in 1872 so boats didn’t run into the NYC Insane Asylum), continuing past our current nuthouse (built in 1899 and the biggest mental hospital in the world at the time), veering around the Ward’s Island Bridge, then leaving the bike path to watch an inning of the East Harlem Little League, where the parents cheered the batters in Spanish and the kids jeered the pitching in Beyonce’ (“to the left, to the left”) as the Orioles made hay of the Nationals, and since baseball makes me hungry, I then steered into the drive-thru of White Castle where the girl at the window looked at my bike and said, “Choo mas be keeding me,” but served me three delicious cheeseburgers anyway, which I ate bouncing to reggaeton on Tito Puente Way (dedicated in 2000), then finishing my tour by spending a heartbreaking 15 minutes gazing at the cats in the window of the Manhattan ASPCA, where a sad fellow totally knew how to work the crowd. (Inhale.)