Tag Archives: Jeebus

Pastor John Hagee: Atheists Killed Jesus [VIDEO]

Pastor John Hagee, who is perhaps most infamous for declaring that God sent Hurricane Katrina to punish America for homosexuality and for claiming that God sent Hitler to enable the creation of Israel, turned a few heads today with a fresh take the alleged crucifixion of Jesus. “Up the bloody slopes of Calvary, Jesus Christ went where atheistic hands nailed ...

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Jesus Was Butch And Smelled Bad

He was also ripped, veiny, and totes HAWT.

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Quote Of The Day – Gavin MacLeod

“‘Love exciting and new, come aboard, he’s expecting you’. If you listen to the [Love Boat theme] lyrics it’s all about Jesus. It’s a whole new approach to that song. I do that whenever I get into a group of believers, because it gave me – I said, wow, the Lord didn’t tell me about that until how many years ...

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Jesus Comes First

After Monday’s tweet about about rubbing one out, some folks on Facebook think Osteen “is just trolling us now.” Source. (Via JMG reader Ian) UPDATE: I meant to ask if anybody can find the original source on this and prove it’s not a photoshop.

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FLORIDA: Jesus’ Pick Finishes Last

Despite heavy campaigning by Jesus, North Miami mayoral candidate Anna Pierre only got 56 votes. UPDATE: The top finisher is the openly gay former mayor. There will be a runoff.

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Bear Jesus Appears On Tortilla

Looks like Bluto to me. Source. (Via JMG reader Andrew)

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Jesus Set The Minimum Wage

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The Biblical Right To Assault Weapons

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Morning View

Image via JMG reader and Island House patron Ed, who found this strange tableau during a Key West walkabout. It appears to be Barbie Thigh-Cut Levi’s Jeebus surrounded by apparently bad dogs.

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Forgiven Clothes

Forgiven Clothes just sent out a breathless email announcing that their “Who Killed Jesus?” t-shirts and hoodies are now on sale. Finish your holiday shopping early!

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Two & A Half Men Star Finds Jeebus:
Don’t Watch My Filthy Unbiblical Show

Angus T. Jones makes $350K per episode playing the kid on Two And A Half Men.  He now says: “If I am doing any harm, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be contributing to the enemy’s plan. You cannot be a true God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can’t. ...

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Pope Ratzi: This Year Is 2019 Not 2012

Pope Palpatine has issued a book declaring that the birth of Jeebus is off by several years. “The calculation of the beginning of our calendar – based on the birth of Jesus – was made by Dionysius Exiguus, who made a mistake in his calculations by several years,” the Pope writes in the book, which went on sale around the ...

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T-Shirt Of The Day

Source.

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Jesus Came For You

The American Family Association is selling yard signs, buttons, and stickers promoting the cum-shot heard ’round the world. (Tipped by JMG reader David)

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Jesus Jesus Bo-Besus

Not that we needed another laugh today, but the One Million Moms are angry! About something! Dear Joe, every night on TV and every week in the movie theaters, the name of Jesus is being used not to refer to God’s Son, but rather as a curse and swear word. The Bible says this is wrong! The Ten Commandments clearly ...

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Last Chance To Sign Jesus Pledge

Scamvangelist Bill Keller wants you to know this is your last chance to join the 1.6 million people who have allegedly signed his pledge to write in Jesus on your presidential ballot. From his third-person press release: In May, Keller began a sister website, www.votingforjesus.com and made the case that because of the fact President Obama is the most pro-death, ...

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Romney Blows His Fuse About Mormonism

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Trick-Or-Treating For Jeebus

When the doorbell rings on Halloween, you might want to check the peephole before offering any candy. Because the day is being hijacked for JesusWeen. Every year, the world and its system have a day set aside (October 31st) to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters while Christians all over the world participate, hide or just stay quiet on Halloween ...

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ISRAEL: Christian Networks Prepare For Live Coverage Of The Return Of Jesus

Jesus is apparently coming back any day now and Christian networks are ready to roll live coverage of the glory direct from Israel. Daystar TV and the Trinity Broadcasting Network have set up cameras in studios overlooking the Mount of Olives, where scripture says the Christian Messiah will touch down one day. Both networks recently acquired studio space in Jerusalem ...

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Papyrus Mentions Mrs. Jesus

The New York Times: A historian of early Christianity at Harvard Divinity School has identified a scrap of papyrus that she says was written in Coptic in the fourth century and contains a phrase never seen in any piece of Scripture: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife …’” The faded papyrus fragment is smaller than a business card, with eight ...

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