Tag Archives: grifters

“We have allowed the Enemy to come into our churches. I was talking to some Christians and they were talking about how they invited these gay children to come into their home and to come into the church and that they were wanting to influence them. And I thought to myself, they’re not going to influence those kids; those kids …

Wearing one of her trademark Star Trek: The Next Generation pleather dresses, Prophetess Cindy Jacobs has revealed how she used the authority of White Jesus to order clouds over Jerusalem to dissipate during a photo shoot for Pat Robertson’s 700 Club. The Friendly Atheist has the transcript: A friend came to me and said, “Cindy, do something!” This is what …

Via Raw Story: Pastor Jim Bakker revealed on his Monday TV program that extreme weather plaguing the United States in recent months was the “spirit of ISIS.” While discussing on what God had in store for 2016, Bakker explained that the Lord told him that people needed to “wake up” and realize that extreme weather patterns — like floods, wildfires, …

Pat Robertson today revealed that God Himself has told him that Saudi Arabia will burn during the coming world chaos. But Robertson assured viewers that his network and Regent University will nevertheless see a “year of prosperity” while, presumably, millions die. Watch below.

Pat Robertson today cited a bogus anti-Muslim poll in his defense of Donald Trump’s immigration ban. Robertson is also upset that Trump is being “excoriated” all over the world, even by virtually all top Republicans. Watch below.

Scamvangelist Jim “Survival Buckets” Bakker today revealed the real reason that he and other Grifters-For-Jesus have been brought down by scandals and/or sent to prison. It was WITCHES what done them in! “All the demons in hell brought sex, drugs, women, whatever!” This secret plot was revealed to Bakker by an ACTUAL WITCH, you guys! Watch below.

As some of you surely remember, in 1989 televangelist Jim Bakker (then husband of Tammy Faye) was sentenced to 45 years in federal prison after being convicted on 24 felony counts of wire and mail fraud. That conviction came two years after Bakker was accused of raping Jessica Hahn, prompting Jerry Falwell to call him “the greatest scab and cancer …

Well this certainly won’t win Robertson any new fans in Teabagistan. Brian Tashman writes at Right Wing Watch: Televangelist Pat Robertson has frequently warned that victories for LGBT equality will turn America into the biblical city of Sodom and therefore bring about God’s judgment. That made it all the more surprising when “The 700 Club” host alluded today to Ezekiel …

Pat Robertson is ever so unhappy that “sodomy has been enshrined into the US Constitution.” But even more unhappy is the Lord Almighty His Damn Self, who is going to perform some dark magic on the financial markets to punish us: “Now it’s a constitutional right for sodomites to marry each other. I don’t want the wrath of God to …

“MAJOR ALERT: I have just been informed of a major plan by the extreme left, that has the support over 100 House members and numerous Senators, that if passed would make it a crime for churches and ministers to publicly say the gay lifestyle is a sin, or not allow them to use your church for their own meetings. It …

Today Pat Robertson responding to a viewer question by telling his audience that same-sex marriage is still illegal because the Obergefell ruling only applies to the “couple of people” who brought the case. Brian Tashman has the quote at Right Wing Watch: “In the legal system, party A sues party B over marriage, ‘I want to get married to them,’ …

“The homosexuals don’t just want to be left alone, now they want to come out and stick it to the Christians. They have made it clear and it’s an organized thrust throughout this nation to force conformity. This used to be considered perversion, it used to be considered an abomination. The Bible says it’s an abomination, the Bible says it’s …

On today’s 700 Club, Pat Robertson responded to a viewer’s question about allowing her grandson to bring his partner home for Thanksgiving by comparing it bringing a stripper home for the holidays. For real. And what’s wrong with strippers, anyway? Watch below.

On today’s 700 Club, a viewer asked Pat Robertson why he’s had to have multiple surgeries to heal his afflictions when he’s healed so many people himself right there over the teevee. Watch Robertson sputter and struggle to find an answer. Also, whoever produced today’s segment is SO fired.

On today’s 700 Club, Pat Robertson and his co-host healed a bunch of people right over the teevee. Among the maladies cured today “in the name of Jesus” were palsy, prostate disease, swollen lymph nodes, indigestion, and ligaments that are “stretched strangely.” Praise! Glory!

“What they want to do is persecute anybody who disagrees with them. They want those people bankrupted. They want those people put in jail. Is that what the left wants? The answer is ‘absolutely.’ It is vindictive now. We’re not talking about having rights from the ‘poor oppressed gays’. We’re talking about taking away the freedoms of everybody who disagree …

A caravan of cuckoo Christian crackpots careened into Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan today where notorious mascara addict Jan Crouch and other Bellevue escapees laid hands upon His Holy Donaldness, totally guaranteeing that Christ Himself and every other white person will vote for him. Christian Broadcast News has the cast list: Among the attendees were televangelists Kenneth and Gloria Copeland, …

According to this video featuring lunatic Pastor John Hagee, God is lining up celestial objects in order to warn America that if the Iran deal is approved, he’s just gonna kill the fuck out of everybody. Hagee, you may recall, has declared that God sent Hurricane Katrina to destroy New Orleans because of Southern Decadence.

During today’s viewer questions segment, Pat Robertson gave advice on how to “surrender to authority” in order to be able to speak in tongues. Robertson: “You’re saying ‘fill me, fill me, fill me’ – then in the fullness of your spirit comes an unutterable gushing and bahalla klaatu barada nikto mushu eep opp ork ah-ah Jesus!”

Pat Robertson today acknowledged the now-famous past of Kim Davis, saying, “She’s not exactly that champion we’d all want to stand up for our beliefs but nevertheless she did it and she’s the heroine of the piece.” Robertson went on to declare that Christianity has now been criminalized in the United States and anybody who says they follow Jesus will …