Tag Archives: ChristWire

Santorum Easter Ham

From Christwire, of course: Nothing brings the family together like a home-cooked meal, but have your wife’s dishes grown dull and tired? Spice up your holiday with the exciting bounty of a Santorum Glazed Easter Ham! It’s thick and juicy, sweet and smoky, just like Pennsylvania’s favorite Senator himself! We glaze our hams faithfully a dozen times over to give ...

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Headline Of The Day

Christwire nails me yet again: Joe My God, the greatest literary bottom bard of the homogay movement, and Aaron Heier [right], the relic ‘cutesy muscle-daddy’ talk-show genre host that makes gay men stamp their claws and arch their back like a screeching 8-ball snort nosed cat in heat are all well known to us. [snip] After Aaron’s getting the NOM ...

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Swag Tuesday

Courtesy of the publisher, today’s Swag Tuesday prize is The Christwire Handbook, fresh from the authors of the hilarious Poe-drenched website. The Christwire Handbook will be available online and at booksellers nationwide beginning December 27th. There a short chapter about JMG! A national media sensation, ChristWire.org takes righteousness beyond the bounds of reason. You can’t argue the truth. If God ...

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Christwire Vs. JMG, Part Four

This week’s assault begins like this: O fecal wrath enablers of America, hear my plea! Pull your head from your gay phallus coddle zones and get a heavy dose of reality! All gays will burn in hell! It is in the BIBLE of our GODLY NATION. Governor Rick Perry is trying to save America from damnation, yet we see the ...

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Christwire Vs. JMG, Part Three

Here we go! I could only wish this were the age of Inquisition, because I would happily kick through the doors of every confirmed gay and make them renounce their choice of fecal empowerment! The atheists and gays love to disrespect religion, so it is no surprise they have decided to pick on these two holy leaders and cause the ...

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Christwire’s 51 Words For Penis

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Christwire Vs. JMG, Part Two

Today on Christwire: Last week the phallic lunging legion of letterjacket gays and their Fonzerelli leather bear cool guy, Joe My God, exploded with typically sassy homosexual anger after we exposed their organized campaign to smear the good name Herman Cain. Democrats and gays fear Herman Cain because he is tough. He can roll with the punches and keep a ...

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Posted Today On Christwire

From today’s top story on Christwire: Hell hath no spitfire like a lisping gay scorned, so it’s no surprise today to see legions of gays angrily sassafrasshing and sashaying all around their demigod Joe My God in heated fury and trying to scratch the skin off GOP Presidential Candidate Herman Cain. For years now gays have tried to become the ...

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Christwire On The Bear Movement

Apparently it all started with Gilligan and the Skipper. Gilligan, also know as the Skipper’s “Little Buddy,” would be classified as a “Cub” in gay vernacular. A cub is slight of frame and a bit dimwitted. He is submissive to his master, both intellectually and physically. In practice, he is the feminine homemaker and recipient of sodomy during erotic intercourse. ...

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Christwire On JMG

Christwire has some fun at my expense. Rest assured that God’s belly churns and is sickened by every mention of this sacrilege leather daddy who calls himself God and ruler. Every day, Joe writes homosexual erotica that masquerades as journalism, on his website JoeMyGod.com. The very name of the site is smeared in the fecality of homosexual sins, so it ...

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Howard Stern Falls For Christwire

I guess he didn’t hear about Rachel Maddow falling for it too. Kudos once again to Christwire’s brilliant satirists. Audio only and very NSFW. (Tipped by JMG reader Tyson)

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Rachel Maddow Falls For Christwire

Those hilariously evil queens at Christwire write us this morning to gloat that last night Rachel Maddow fell for their so-Christian-it-feels-real satire. Today Rachel tweeted her chagrin. UPDATE: The wingnut-o-sphere is having a field day. From Glenn Beck’s blog: “It’s worth pointing out that on Saturday Palin joked about how long it would take for her to be connected to ...

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Porno Pete As Allen Ginsberg

The hilarious folks at Christwire have outdone themselves with today’s entry in which they rewrite Allen Ginsberg’s classic poem Howl from the perspective of Peter LaBarabera. It begins: I saw the greatest hopes of my Christian nation destroyed by homosexuality, penetrating, violating and ejaculating, faith leaders and all-American jocks prowling Castro nights for angry leather studs, suburban hipsters sparking ganja ...

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Nominations Open For 2011 Bloggies

Yesterday nominations opened for the 2011 Bloggies and for the first time there is a Best Religion Blog category. I suggest the hilarious satire site, Christwire, whose writers even befuddled the New York Times this year. There’s also a first-time category for Best Parenting Blog. What would be a good gay parenting blog to nominate?

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Christwire’s JMG Pulp Novel

Christwire’s Stephenson Billings has created a fleet of amusing pulp novel covers taking jabs at various bloggers, websites, and personalities. I am opening the door to their obsessions and predilections, their narcissism and their lust, the very things that they are too afraid to admit to themselves. If today’s so-called artists and thinkers had the energy and wherewithal to actually ...

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New York Times Outs Christwire

Today the New York Times does what numerous other publications have tried and failed to do, they’ve gotten the guys behind Christwire to come clean. Christwire has lately reached new levels of popularity, in part thanks to an Aug. 14 column, “Is My Husband Gay?” Written by Stephenson Billings, the piece is a 15-point checklist to help wives diagnose possibly ...

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Daily Grumble

I know I’ve already told you at least three or four times, but Christwire is a freekin’ parody site, people. A very fucking hilarious parody site. But thanks for your outraged emails. It just goes to prove how brilliant Stephenson Billings is.

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Christwire On George Rekers

Hilarious parody site Christwire on the Dr. George Rekers scandal: The proof of Dr. Rekers’ heterosexuality is in his supreme fight against the radical gay agenda. His deeds– his Evangelical writings and teachings– affirm a life lived under Christ’s laws. The power of his righteousness shines on the faces of the thousands upon thousands of people he has touched and ...

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The Best One Yet

From Christwire: It is a well-known fact that the homosexuals have been secretly working to subvert American laws for quite some time, but the new violent turn has surprised many people (other than myself). It may have its roots in the political loss in Maine, where voters unanimously said they hate the gay lifestyle that has been overrunning their state ...

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A Letter From ChristWire.com

The author of the ChristWire piece on Andre Bauer that I linked to yesterday sends this letter. Dear Joe, A friend forwarded your article to me and I was thrilled at first because, with your blog’s name, I thought you might be a man of the cloth. Instead I find that you are gallivanting around in the most inappropriate of ...

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