Recent Posts

Morning View – School Of Interior Design

The New York School Of Interior Design, located on the Upper East Side, is a private, not-for-profit college. The school motto is “We’re just not feeling this window treatment.” Right now the school is having an exhibit on the history of “prefabricated housing”. Since I live just down the block, I think I’m going to stop in and revisit my ...

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My Crankypants Mantra

Have I complained about the weather yet? Have I complained about the radiators in my apartment making more noise than the annual Ghosts of Christmas Past convention? Have I complained lately about the miserable chattering pigeons in my airshaft that wake me up at 5am every morning? Have I complained about the guy upstairs who just got a new monster ...

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Hoodies And Dockers Safe Again

“Oopsie. Here’s your foreskin back. Keep it in a warm dry place. We’ll be happy to take it out of your hands later, if you are among the millions suffering from ESPS (Excessive Sexual Pleasure Syndrome.)” The New York Department of Health issued a statement today saying that the New York Times had “misrepresented” its response to the recent UN/WHO ...

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HomoQuotable – Jennifer Crisler

“We were proud to join the many diverse families attending the White House Egg Roll this year. For the second year in a row, gay and lesbian-headed families participated in a great American tradition. Despite the cold weather and freezing temperatures, gay and lesbian families came and made their presence known, making our existence real to millions of Americans.” – ...

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Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual

Let’s start the week out with a self-satisfied snicker, via political troubadour Roy Zimmerman. Wait for the super-clever line around 2:30, I laughed so loud I kicked my speaker plugs out. Seriously, I’ve been laughing like Mutley all morning. And thanks very much to the faithful reader who sent this in. UPDATE: Check out Roy Zimmerman’s other, equally hysterical songs, ...

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Eight Shows A Week. Plus One.

Sunday, 11pm, Christopher Street, West Village I’m on my cellphone, leaning against a tree. A handsome young man comes running up the sidewalk at me. His jerky gait on the broken cement suggests he’s trying not to break his mother’s back. Or maybe trying TO break it, I can’t tell. He’s shouting something, but I can’t make it out with ...

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Morning View – Central Park East

OK, so there’s no such place as “Central Park East”, I don’t think, but it seems like an appropriate name for this view across Conservatory Water, where adult screwballs entertain kids with their tiny remote-controlled motorized yachts. I fondly recall the time some guy (who was all hopped up on goofballs or some shit) leaped into the water and started ...

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Hipster Foodies

Saturday, 1am, 2nd Avenue, East VillageStoned Dude 1(pointing): You wanna eat there? Stoned Dude 2: Thailand Cafe? What kinda food do they have? SD1: Um, Thai food, dude. SD 2: Like what? SD 1: Dude! Like noodles and shrimp. That kinda shit. SD 2: Fuck that. I don’t like Chinese..

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