Silliness

Outsports reports: Ottawa Senators hockey announcers Dean Brown and Gord Wilson were promoting their post-game radio call-in show on TSN1200 Saturday for the game against the Montreal Canadiens when the discussion veered into, of all things, the gay meet-up app Grindr. Dean Brown: “Gord and I … [will take] calls, questions, emails — Tinder, Twitter, Grindr — all the social …

Thought Catalog reports: In case you were wondering, my favorite part of the Internet is definitely the crazy conspiracy theories. We’ve had insane Twitter threads about Avril Lavigne being replaced by a clone, Lady Gaga murdering her mentor, and Melania Trump being replaced by a man in a wig, but this new one about the British royal family is a …

The Guardian reports: A new statue at a Catholic school in Adelaide has been covered up and will be remodeled over issues with it being “potentially suggestive”. The statue of St Martin de Porres at Blackfriars Priory was unveiled recently and depicts the saint handing a loaf of bread to a young boy. However, the unfortunate placement of the bread …

You KNOW he’s going to fuck this up somehow. President Trump will exercise his pardon power on Tuesday, sparing two turkeys named Wishbone and Drumstick from becoming Thanksgiving dinner. Trump’s first turkey pardoning is in keeping with a White House tradition of nearly three decades. The first official turkey pardoning was done by former president George H. W. Bush in …

The New York Post reports: These free birds are celebrating in style. Wishbone and Drumstick — the two lucky Turkeys chosen to be pardoned by President Trump — arrived at a luxury Washington D.C. hotel Monday to relax before their big public appearance. The birds were lounging on their beds and watching football in their two-bedroom suite at the Willard …

Seattle’s NBC affiliate reports: Officials with the Naval Air Station Whidbey Island said one of their aircraft was involved in the obscene skywritings spotted in Okanogan County. Photos sent to KREM 2 by multiple sources show skydrawings of what some people are saying is male genitalia. Some sources have even tweeted pictures of what they saw. A mother who lives …

PIX 11 reports: A cow is on the loose in Brooklyn Tuesday, running around ballfields in Prospect Park. Responding crews are on the scene trying to wrangle the animal, which is tagged. It’s unclear where the cow escaped from. In February, a bull roamed the streets of Queens for about two hours before he was finally captured and died soon …

Newsweek reports: The excuses are almost inevitable, and predictable: The account was hacked, possibly by those pesky Russians. Or some rogue intern got hold of the social media, a secret Democrat intent on sabotage. Whatever the case, it is all but certain that Ted Cruz, the conservative Republican who serves as the junior Senator from Texas, will deny having “liked” …

Michigan Live reports: “Make Hell gay again.” That was the message from the newly-appointed-and-then-impeached “mayor of the small, unincorporated community in Michigan’s Livingston County. Confused? Let’s explain further. In a series of comical Tweets sent out on Wednesday, Aug. 30, comedian and internet personality Elijah Daniel explained that he was named the legal mayor of Hell, Michigan when he was …

Gothamist reports: Shoppers looking for MAGA hats at Trump Tower this week may have encountered a Ku Klux Klan hood or a photo of President Putin, and asked themselves whether what they were seeing was real merchandise. On Monday afternoon, two NYC-based artists secretly slipped some items inside the merchandising outpost of the Trump Tower’s lower lobby. Among them: A …

Space.com reports: A whimsical parody of the Bonnie Tyler song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” highlights the Aug. 21 total solar eclipse that will be visible from the contiguous United States. Created by the Warby Parker eyeglass company, a music video for the fake song includes dancers dressed as the sun and the moon, dramatically prancing around an empty school …

The Hill reports: Former President Clinton posed between statues of his predecessor and successor at the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Texas on Thursday, in a photo that quickly went viral. Clinton was at the library to celebrate this year’s graduates from the Presidential Leadership Scholars program, which uses resources from four presidential centers, including Bush’s and Clinton’s. Social …

Billboard Magazine reports: Orchestral performances are often considered the most high-art of music events, but things did get a little ruff at a recent Vienna Chamber Orchestra concert in Ephesus, Turkey, when a wandering dog came onstage during a performance of Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony No. 4. In a new video, a very slow-moving, sandy-colored Labrador finds himself onstage, garnering a …

People Magazine reports: New York City’s Metropolitan Transit Authority is dog-friendly — to a point. Leashed service and emotional support animals are allowed to ride with their owners with no other restrictions, but all other pet dogs wanting to ride the rails need to be brought on in a carrier. For pup parents with smaller dogs, this is a cinch. …

The New York Times reports: And on the 132nd day, just after midnight, President Trump had at last delivered the nation to something approaching unity — in bewilderment, if nothing else. The state of our union was … covfefe. The trouble began, as it so often does, on Twitter, in the early minutes of Wednesday morning. Mr. Trump had something …

From the Washington Post: Hundreds of Naval Academy plebes work together to scale a 21-foot obelisk slicked with lard. It’s an annual tradition: The first year students can’t begin their summer until they replace an underclassman’s “dixie cup” hat at the top of the monument with an upperclassman’s hat.

Monica Cole, there’s a call for you. AdWeek reviews: Liquid-Plumr cracks wise in this new commercial from FCB Chicago. Various folks, ranging from a firefighter and florist to a bowler and boxer, expose some backside cleavage (though nothing overtly NSFW) as Rosemary Clooney’s jaunty “Too Marvelous for Words” plays in the background. “There’s a Plumr in all of us,” proclaims …

SB Nation reports: The New York Mets are having a disastrous start to their season, but on Friday night, they came back to beat the Miami Marlins, 8-7. That called for a celebration picture on the team’s Twitter account! They chose to feature T.J. Rivera, who hit a game-tying double and a home run. But the picture showed a giant …

The Hill reports: Sean Spicer is ditching the Easter Bunny outfit, instead opting for a suit at this year’s White House Easter Egg Roll. The White House press secretary sported a dark suit and red tie as he read “How to Catch the Easter Bunny” to children and posed with a pink-nosed, life-sized Easter egg dye company’s bunny mascot on …

The Hill reports: Ruth Bader Ginsburg appears to have been caught up in a gender-swapping snafu, mistakenly dubbing Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) one of the “women of the Senate.” The 84-year-old Supreme Court justice delivered remarks at Allegheny College in Pennsylvania on Monday as she accepted the Prize for Civility in Public Life, honoring her and late Justice Antonin Scalia. …