Idiocracy

NFL Prospect Doesn’t “Believe In Space Or Planets”

The Bleacher Report reports: Texas Tech defensive back Tyler Owens is considered one of the fastest prospects in the 2024 NFL draft class, and some of his beliefs make him stand out from the rest of the pack even more. While speaking to reporters at the NFL combine on Thursday, Owens revealed that he doesn’t “believe in space” or “other …

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Kellogg CEO: The Poor Should Have Cereal For Dinner

The New York Post reports: Kellogg’s CEO Gary Pilnick advised shoppers chalking up more of their paychecks to soaring grocery bills than they have in the past three decades to just eat cereal instead. “The cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure,” Pilnickan said in an interview …

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Megachurch Pastor Claims His Account Was Hacked After Tweeting Search Terms “Ladies And Girls Kissing”

The Christian Post reports: Former Hillsong Church leader Brian Houston claims his X account was hacked after the account tweeted the words “ladies and girls kissing,” drawing scrutiny from social media users. The post generated reactions among social media users who were voicing their opinions on the post, with some guessing that it could have been a query for an …

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Trucker Deletes Viral Video Calling For NYC Boycott

The right wing Townhall reports: A trucker who went viral for saying he would refuse to drive into the Big Apple in protest over former President Trump getting hit with a $355 million fine in his fraud case has reversed course after he says he was being “misrepresented” as a leader of a movement. In a viral video posted by …

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Manchin Floats Romney As Potential Running Mate

NBC News reports: Sen, Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., danced around his interest in launching a third-party presidential bid here Thursday, but he endorsed a potential running mate if he does. “Hypothetically, if I was picking my running mate, really who I would ask right now is Mitt Romney,” Manchin said, identifying the Republican senator from Utah. “Third party run, everything is …

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Couple Fined $1.8M In Fatal CA Gender Reveal Wildfire

Los Angeles’s ABC affiliate reports: A couple whose botched gender reveal sparked the deadly El Dorado Fire in 2020 has agreed to a plea deal that includes jail time, community service and nearly $1.8 million in restitution, officials announced Friday. The El Dorado Fire burned through nearly 23,000 acres in the Inland Empire in the fall of 2020, destroying some …

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Far-Right ID Rep Calls For Ban On Human Composting Because Cannibalism: “This Is Going To Be Normalized”

The Idaho Statesman reports: An Idaho lawmaker wants to expand a law that bans cannibalism over fears about a rise in human composting. Rep. Heather Scott, R-Blanchard, introduced a bill Thursday to expand the state’s cannibalism ban and told a legislative committee that she’s worried about the possibility that people are eating other people. “This is going to be normalized …

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Right Wing Bloggers Busted With Drugs At TX Border

The Texas Observer reports: The Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) recently arrested two right-wing bloggers riding in a caravan near Eagle Pass after finding what law enforcement described as a plastic bag containing a “white powdery substance,” marijuana, and THC edibles in their Mercedes SUV, which also reeked of cannabis, according to a police report. Celeste April Sparks and …

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Cultists Rage: Netflix Turned “Alexander The Great” Gay

TMZ reports: Conservatives are up in arms over Netflix’s depiction of Alexander The Great as a gay man in their new docuseries despite a long-standing belief that the dude was definitely bi. The “End Wokeness” X account — widely known in right-wing circles — took offense to ATG, played by Buck Braithwaite, passionately kissing his pal/ potential lover Hephaestion early …

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VIRAL VIDEO: Cybertruck Driver Wears VR Headset

Reuters reports: U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg on Monday said human drivers must pay attention at all times after videos emerged of people driving Teslas while wearing what appeared to be Apple’s recently released Vision Pro headset. Buttigieg responded on X to a video that had more than 24 million views of a Tesla driver who appeared to be gesturing …

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Habba Shares Meme Claiming America Needs More Women Like Her And Fewer Women Like Taylor Swift

Mediaite reports: The Trumpworld freakout over Taylor Swift now includes Trump attorney Alina Habba suggesting the world needs fewer women like Swift — and more like Alina Habba. A Twitter/X user posted a photo of Habba and one of Swift, and wrote “Who thinks this country needs a lot more women like Alina Habba, and a lot less like Taylor …

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Unsafe Stunt: GOP Rep Reported To House Sergeant At Arms For Doing Pull-Ups “200 Feet Up” On Capitol Rail

Politico reports: The Capitol Visitor’s Center has reported Rep. Rich McCormick to the House sergeant at arms, according to an email reviewed by POLITICO, accusing him of “unsafe actions” while on a tour of the Capitol’s dome Tuesday and doing pull-ups on railings suspended hundreds of feet above the ground. The Georgia Republican went beyond a posted sign reading “no …

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Greg Kelly: Trump Purposely Confused Haley For Pelosi

“Alright, you’re about to see the fake news version of the worst flub in the world. Now they know it’s not the worst flub. It’s not the worst gaffe. But they say Trump made it so it must be really, really bad. I don’t think it is that bad and, actually, might even be great, as in it’s not a …

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Judge Judy Endorses “Whip Smart” Nikki Haley

Fox News reports: Judge Judith Sheindlin, better known to fans as Judge Judy, is endorsing Nikki Haley in the 2024 presidential race. “I’m proud to endorse Nikki Haley because she is whip smart, has executive credentials and was a superb governor,” Sheindlin said in a statement. “She has international gravitas as Ambassador to the United Nations. She is principled, measured …

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94 “Official MAGA Hats” Offered On eBay For $250K

The Daily Mail reports: An official collection of ninety-four available MAGA hats from Donald Trump’s run for president in 2020 has gone on the market for a whopping $250,000. An eBay listing shows an image of the iconic hat collection, with nearly 100 different styles for sale, including “Farmers for Trump” and “Cops for Trump.” The package also includes “Women …

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FL Woman Sues Because Candy Doesn’t Have Smiles

Reuters reports: Hershey has been sued by a Florida woman who said its holiday-themed Reese’s peanut butter candies lack the artistic details shown on the packaging that make them worth buying. In a proposed federal class action filed on Thursday and seeking at least $5 million, Cynthia Kelly accused Hershey of deceiving reasonable consumers by falsely promising that its candies …

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Kevin Spacey: Netflix Tried To “Put Me In the Ground”

“Well, this country is mired in so much contradiction and confusion. We don’t even know how we can help anyone anymore because we can’t agree who needs help. I mean, what doesn’t come with a trigger warning these days? “I mean, Tucker, we are far too close to having a beanbag chair in the Oval Office. We coddled everybody. Okay? …

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Florida Declares Itself “The Free State Of Christmas”

Florida Politics reports: Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson isn’t letting big government get in the way of jolly St. Nick. Simpson approved an emergency order waiving any and all state regulations through Dec. 25 that could delay Santa as he travels across the states delivering toys to children. The order states that the Free State of Florida, “hereby known as the …

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LaGuardia TSA Stops Man With 17 Bullets In Diaper

Gothamist reports: Authorities said a security checkpoint X-ray machine at LaGuardia Airport wiped an Arkansas man of his luggage after his bag triggered an alarm, prompting officers to unwrap 17 9mm bullets that had been “artfully concealed” inside of an otherwise clean disposable baby diaper, the TSA said. The man first told officials he didn’t know how the deadly diaper …

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UFC Fighter Who Is Naming His Son For Tucker Carson Suffers “Gruesome” Seizure After “Brutal Knock Out”

The Sportster reports: In the UFC 296 main card, featherweight Josh Emmett unleashed a powerful strike that knocked out Bryce Mitchell, creating a disturbing scene after the match as Mitchell appeared to have a seizure. In the midst of the main card opener in Las Vegas on Saturday, Emmett delivered a devastating right punch that rendered Mitchell unconscious in the …

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