Crackpots

The Doritos Outrage Has Begun

The Doritos Outrage Machine is off to a quick start after the brand announced its partnership with the It Gets Better Project on a line of rainbow-hued Cool Ranch chips. Leading the Whiny Brigade so far are Twitchy and Free Republic, where commenters are wailing about perversion, Jesus, AIDS, and – because of course – Obama. The real fun won’t ...

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Blood Moons + Iran Deal = God Kills Everybody

According to this video featuring lunatic Pastor John Hagee, God is lining up celestial objects in order to warn America that if the Iran deal is approved, he’s just gonna kill the fuck out of everybody. Hagee, you may recall, has declared that God sent Hurricane Katrina to destroy New Orleans because of Southern Decadence.

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Brian Brown: The New York Times Hates Christians So You Should Totally Send Me Some Money

“There has perhaps never been a media outlet more of a mouthpiece for the far-left’s assault on American values than the New York Times. They have championed the sexual revolution, cheered the abortion industry responsible for the death of over 55 million unborn Americans, and led the push for gay ‘marriage.’ I am sick and tired of this far-left assault ...

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ALABAMA: Probate Judge Wants To Be Next Kim Davis

The next Kim Davis may be Alabama probate Judge Nick Williams, who has filed a motion with the state Supreme Court in which he demands the right not to officiate at same-sex weddings, which are a “license to engage in sodomy.” AL.com reports: Williams filed the petition for declaratory judgment or protective order in light of the recent jailing of ...

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Huckabee Vs Bush On Kim Davis [VIDEO]

It was no surprise that Mike Huckabee got last night’s Kim Davis question during the main GOP debate. But really, giving that question to the looniest anti-gay nutjob on the stage (close runner-up: Ted Cruz) is the best thing we could have hoped for.

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Maybe Someone Should Make A List

Even Ann Coulter’s supporters dropped their jaws last night when she unleashed these tweets.

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Christian Post Columnist: One Day Kim Davis Will Be Forced To Issue Human/Robot Marriage Licenses

“Five far-left ideologues posing as Supreme Court Justices danced around the Constitution, arrogantly declaring their opinion a ruling on a law. They opined they know better than nature and Nature’s God in matters of marriage. And the next thing you know Kim Davis was in the slammer. I suppose then, we should overlook that it is unconstitutional for judges to ...

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Christian Network Asks Trump About His Favorite Bible Verse So He Just Makes One Up [VIDEO]

The Christian network CBN today published a video interview with Donald Trump in which the narrator mentions Trump’s now-infamous refusal to cite any verse from his alleged favorite book. Then there’s a cut to Trump saying this: “There’s so many things that you can learn from it. Proverbs, the chapter ‘never bend to envy.’ I’ve had that thing all of ...

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Breitbart Columnist Milo Yiannopoulos: “I Went Gay So I Didn’t Have To Deal With Nutty Broads”

Notorious British homocon and raging misogynist Milo Yiannopoulos is writing for Breitbart these days and today he explains why he “went gay,” why women are inherently less intelligent, why the female orgasm is a myth, and why sex robots will replace the need for girlfriends. Seriously. Here’s a sample: “Most of the reason I went gay is so I didn’t ...

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Ridiculous Mat Staver Lie: One Of The View Hosts Has Called For Killing Kim Davis [AUDIO]

As Kyle Mantyla notes, we’re pretty sure this would have made national news if it had ever happened. Staver: “Kim has received just horrible death threats, even from ‘The View,’ amazingly. They called her a monster on national television, one of them said that someone ought to go kill her. This is on a major network. That was on ‘The ...

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Donald Trump Holds Fundraiser For Fake Veterans Group Which Is Really Just One Guy [VIDEO]

Yesterday Donald Trump held a fundraiser for a veterans group on the deck of the USS Iowa in California. Last night Rachel Maddow revealed that the “group” is actually just one guy in South Dakota and that it has $30 in the bank. Raw Story recaps: MSNBC host Rachel Maddow exposed the “veterans group” using an appearance by Donald Trump ...

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ANCHORAGE: Representative Of Lord Jesus Christ Waves Tampon At LGBT Rights Hearing [VIDEO]

As I reported last month, Anchorage is taking yet another run at an LGBT rights bill. At last night’s initial hearing, a local woman who declared herself to be the “representative of the lord Jesus Christ” waved a tampon and a bible during her testimony. Because reasons. The audio is somewhat out of sync in the clip, but the batshittery ...

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Jim Bakker: Buy My End Times Rations Because Your Neighbors Will Eat Your Babies [VIDEO]

Jim Bakker, who served five years in federal prison on an original sentence of 45 years for wire and mail fraud, is these days hawking years-long supplies of End Times food rations. Which must mean he’s not getting raptured. Anyway, take it away Right Wing Watch: “The Bible says they’re going to eat their arms, the Bible says they’re going ...

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Pat Robertson: How To Speak In Tongues [VIDEO]

During today’s viewer questions segment, Pat Robertson gave advice on how to “surrender to authority” in order to be able to speak in tongues. Robertson: “You’re saying ‘fill me, fill me, fill me’ – then in the fullness of your spirit comes an unutterable gushing and bahalla klaatu barada nikto mushu eep opp ork ah-ah Jesus!”

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Liberty Counsel: The Gays Who Sued Got Their Licenses So Kim Davis Doesn’t Have To Issue Any More

The Liberty Counsel has filed a motion with the Sixth Circuit Court which claims that since the gay couples who sued Kim Davis have now gotten their licenses, her office doesn’t have to issue any more. The Associated Press reports: U.S. District Court Judge David Bunning wrote that his mandate to issue licenses applied to all couples, not only those ...

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Kim Davis Loses Yet Again

Just another little item for her to stew on over the weekend. Equality Case Files has the latest smackdown from Judge David Bunning: In her Motion, Davis suggests that the Court could easily stem the tide of litigation by simply ordering Governor Beshear and Commissioner Onkst to remove her name and authorization from the marriage license form. While this is ...

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Oath Keepers: The Liberty Counsel Doesn’t Want Us And We Won’t Be “Defending” Kim Davis From Rearrest

The heavily-armed Oath Keepers militia tonight announced that upon the request of the Liberty Counsel, as an organization they will not be defending Kim Davis from a potential rearrest by federal marshals. However, if any individual Oath Keepers want to show up anyway, Oath Keepers wish they wouldn’t, but that’s up to them. From a statement published on their website: ...

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Hometown Of Kim Davis Gets New Billboard

The Huffington Post reports: Anti-gay marriage clerk Kim Davis is about to get a rude awakening in her hometown. Non-profit organization Planting Peace just erected the above billboard in Davis’ hometown of Morehead, Kentucky. The message is plain and simple — if Davis is going to use Biblical rhetoric to justify her opposition to same-sex marriage, she might want to ...

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Mat Staver: I Don’t Know What Kim Davis Will Do On Monday, But She Won’t Surrender [VIDEO]

Megyn Kelly has hosted hate group leader Mat Staver for the umpteenth time so that he could declare that while he doesn’t know what Kim Davis will do when she gets to work on Monday, he knows that she’ll never resign and never “surrender her Christian faith.” Legal observers believe that if Davis attempts to interfere with her deputy clerks, ...

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End Times To Begin Next Week (Or Not) [AUDIO]

End Times evangelist Jan Markell says that the pope’s visit, the so-called “blood moon”, the Jewish High Holy Days, and a bunch of other converging shit means that the End Times are definitely going to start next week or so. Unless they don’t. Markell reminds everybody about Harold Camping and cautions that she doesn’t want egg on her face if ...

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