Weeping Pharma Douche Sentenced To Seven Years

A federal judge in Manhattan just sentenced infamous pharma douche Martin Shkreli to seven years in prison. Before the judge issued the sentence, Shkreli sobbed and begged for mercy.

The Associated Press reports:

“Pharma Bro” Martin Shkreli cried in court Friday as he apologized for defrauding investors while being sentenced by a federal judge. Shkreli, his cocky persona nowhere to be found, cried as he told U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto he made many mistakes and apologized to investors. He was convicted of securities fraud last year for defrauding investors in two failed hedge funds.

He said he is the only person to blame — not the media, not the government, nor his business partners — and that he hopes to make amends and learn from his mistakes. “I’m not the same person I was. I know right from wrong. I know what it means to tell the truth and what it means to lie,” he said, before apologizing to his investors. “I am terribly sorry I lost your trust. You deserve far better.”

We’ll sell Martin Shkreli a tissue for $500 a piece.

— Razzball (@Razzball) March 9, 2018

now i’m worried Martin Shkreli is going to get insanely jacked in prison or do facebook live videos from his cell or something

— The Steele Dosskleeier (@MilesKlee) March 9, 2018

Martin Shkreli’s lawyer: Sometimes I want to punch him in the face https://t.co/ysPL9KOLBE

— TIME (@TIME) March 9, 2018

‘Pharma Bro’ Martin Shkreli cries at his prison sentencing https://t.co/P5o1hbCOE7 pic.twitter.com/N6I5R7udcV

— Mashable (@mashable) March 9, 2018

BREAKING: Self-promoting “Pharma Bro” Martin Shkreli sentenced to 7 years in prison for securities fraud. More: https://t.co/kpxmZ6KySO pic.twitter.com/qPG64JaVdj

— AP Eastern US (@APEastRegion) March 9, 2018