Here’s Chuck Johnson’s Survivor Audition [VIDEO]

The Huffington Post reports:

Chuck Johnson — a far-right troll and occasional adviser to Trump’s administration who is famous for publishing the home addresses of reporters whose work he doesn’t like, suggesting an Amtrak crash was caused by the engineer’s sexuality, questioning how many Jewish people were killed in the Holocaust, and propagating a claim he pooped on the floor at his college — once made an audition tape for “Survivor.” We have obtained that tape.

Johnson is also being sued in federal court for falsely naming a Michigan teenager as the killer Nazi in Charlottesville. Last month he attended Trump’s SOTU as the guest of a far-right House Republican.

  • Treant

    I dunno. Ball gag, fetters, sling, and I might. But not if I have to hear him speak.

    • William

      You’re thinking of the governor of Missouri.

      • Christopher

        He could do better.

      • TCinBerkeley

        Can’t it be both?

        Guys like these are why Flying Spaghetti Monster created ball gags.

  • bkmn

    Closet case

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Well, there goes my lunch.

    • Richie Kau

      I think I need to go take a shower after watching him and knowing what kind of a dangerous creep he is.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    Looks more like a muppet than a troll.

  • DreadPikathulhu

    The shot of him flouncing down the stairs and towards the camera reminded me of many a night when I’d run into the ex in a bar.

    • Jonathan Smith

      which one was flouncing?

      • William

        You better run.

        • Jonathan Smith

          you ever try to run in HEELS?!?!?!?!?!?


          • William

            Keep on your toes.

          • Christopher

            Or, just take them off and use them as a weapon.

            (We don’t know his ex?)

    • trouble94114

      I thought more of prancing, but flouncing works too.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Not reading. Not ever going to Clovis.

  • BartmanLA

    Is this some kind of joke??? He thinks that the video he made makes him interesting enough to qualify for Survivor??? I think we’re being pranked here.

  • Gigi

    He seems like a great guy.

  • Henry Auvil

    I’m glad he’ll never know the difference between the palm of his hand and an ass (or pussy). What a creep.

  • Clive Johnson

    OT and hopefully not redundant with what someone else has found and posted:

    Trump’s new campaign manager has called journalists “the enemy of this country”

    • David Walker

      Only because of a few. You know, the ones who like facts and shit. Journalists who waste time doing some research rather than being the first to post. Otherwise, I think we’re safe.

    • William

      The best form of torture for Parscale hasn’t been invented… yet.

      • pj

        hes shady…the subject of rachel tonight. his company was purchased by a sketchy penny stock company last week for 10 million. and guess what…hes tall. don is impressed by tall people. this guy wont last. none of trumps employees do. he was hired to start dons social media attacks way in advance, because you know how don loves to run for president,

    • BearEyes

      we can’t have anyone actually exposing this fascist regime’s nefarious deeds, now can we?

    • Bryan

      So why are we still calling him Brad Parscale and not Nazi McHitlernaziface? Or Nazi Naziberg? I’m invoking Article 12 of the United Gay Agenda and hereby revoking his right to be referred to by his given name. Sorry Parscale, it’s LGBTQ+ Law, our hands and yours are unfortunately tied. But but but I’ll do you a solid, I’ve an in with the judge and I’ll convince him to go with Naziberg, I think you’d have more luck than with McHitlernaziface. I’m afraid it’s the best we’re able to do, Article 12 is very explicitly clear about voiding the given names of bigots – once you go nazi, your name you’ll not see.

  • Matt P

    Well every reality show needs a villain.

    Hopefully he doesn’t shit on the floor again.

    • BobSF_94117

      Hopefully he does.

    • Bryan

      Someone’ll have to explain to me precisely why he’s proud of that fact. Shitting on uh…pretty much ANYTHING that isn’t a toilet seat is grounds for a savage beating. Or death by suffocation/drowning – in the feces. After having his face smashed into it and held there for a few hours until the goddamn convulsions stop. No well-adjusted, sane, or worthwhile-to-listen-to person proudly admits to shitting on the floor, that’s the sort of dark secret you hang yourself over after it gets leaked on the web, not something to brag about. Oh you’re a scat fetishist? That’s fine, go lock yourself in that padded room with the triple-reinforced walls and 36-inch steel doors hermetically sealing you in – you can shit to your heart’s content until you suffocate on the methane fumes or die of diphtheria. Just go somewhere we don’t have to look at or smell you, now stay there, until the heat death of the universe.

  • Refugay

    Please don’t make this the last post of the day-I can’t look at that troll.

  • bkmn

    I wonder if Manafort has realized what today’s developments mean to him – Mueller’s going to take him down hard, with no chance to get any breaks.

  • Frostbite

    Does sticking him in Hell count? 🔥😈

  • Bambino

    Let’s not pay anymore attention to this garbage. Mark Burnett owns the show, if he smells rating, he will put him in regardless.

    • TampaDink

      And McDonald owns Mark Burnett….apparently, or the alleged racist rants from the “apprentice” would be on youtube by now.

  • Bob Conti

    Check out the gentleman in white at :24-:28. I seems like he’s looking at Johnson and then just walking away in disgust. Or at least, that’s what it looks like to ME.

  • Dramphooey

    Looks like a missed opportunity to stick him on some godforsaken island and leave him there.

    • Uncle Mark

      Isn’t there some island with an active volcano or at risk of being swallowed up soon by rising sea levels? Let’s see how long he can tread water or outrun lava flows. Ratings gold !!

      • D. J.

        Would Fukushima do for now?

        • Uncle Mark

          Toasty…but the radioactive pig roast would take too long. How about seeing if he can outswim sharks for immunity?

          • Bryan

            Air drop him into the highly radioactive forests around Chernobyl, even with radiation pills he’ll go diarrhea-soaked-arse up. Especially if he finds any of the mutant wolves/animals still living out there. In fact, why not tie him to a remote-controlled gurney and drive it into the Elephant’s Foot. A giant pile of molten crap to kill a giant pile of molten crap.

      • Snownova

        Send him to the Maldives, let him live among Muslims until they’re swallowed by the sea.

  • Hard pass.

  • Jmdintpa

    fucked up in the head closet queer is all he is… very obvious

    • CanuckDon

      The alt-right is today’s closet.

  • DreadPikathulhu

    Apparently he spent his childhood sitting on his racist grandma’s lap listening to Rush Limbaugh. She ought to have been charged with child abuse.

    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      Child Molestation is a terrible thing. Especially, when Grandma’s involved.

    • Uncle Mark

      My grandma made us read good books, do chores, and go out and play. Conversely, she made awesome dinners & cookies. No time for listening to racist crackers

  • Bluto
    • ScubaBearLA

      OMG, I love it! What is that from??

      • Bluto

        No idea.

      • Raising_Rlyeh

        Jane Austen’s Mafia! (1998)

        • ScubaBearLA

          Thank you, I must see this immediately!

          • Raising_Rlyeh

            You’re welcome.

    • Gerry Fisher

      LUV this!

    • Lumpy Gaga

      They douche horses, don’t they?

  • BearEyes

    investigative journalist?

    • evanedwards

      He’s a legend in his own mind.

    • clay

      ” . . . tracking down a journalistic empire”

  • stevenj

    Clovis, eh? Devin Nunes congressional district.

  • Nic Peterson

    And moving on….

  • JohnMyroro

    Yeah, Narnia. Let them “stick you” there, Chuck.

    • madknits

      I’d like to stick him in a one way rocket to Ceres.

    • ETownCanuck

      I have the feeling he’s already well acquainted with Narnia, I’m getting a “deep in the closet vibe” from him.

  • MBear

    “Patented trolling techniques “…?

    He’s kind of full of himself for being such a loser. See kids? This is what happens when you offer participation awards: a bloated sens of self worth

    • Bob Conti

      He really shouldn’t have been allowed of his mom’s basement.

    • JohnMyroro

      Bloated something.

    • evanedwards

      Delusions of adequacy.

      • MBear

        Dunning & Kruger come to mind

  • Capritaur

    He’s exactly what I imagine your average basement dweller to look like.

  • D. J.

    Narnia? Give that another go….and stay there.

  • hdtex
  • Jerry Kott


  • LOL, Ouch. And that’s probably not the worst (serious) audition by a long shot.

  • RaygunsGoZap


    Rage Furby Hates Himself

  • Dayglo

    No shortage of assholes is there?

  • ClevelandJim

    His vocal tone, rhythm and cadence sound exactly like Martha Stewart’s. It works for Martha.

  • David

    Creepy 40 year old virgin who lives at home with Mother.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      Unfortunately, he’s in a relationship, and last I heard was waiting on his first child to be born. Poor child.

  • clay

    How well does he take a 2 x 4 to the head, repeatedly?

  • Greg B.

    What a creep.

  • pablo

    If Bruce Villanch and the muppet Sweetums had a child…

    • Kruhn

      Bruce Villanch is family! He would’ve raised Chuck Johnson right.

  • -M-

    Thanks. But just knowing to avoid him is enough for me.

  • Dave F.

    He’s probably a virgin, so if we sacrifice him to an angry volcano god on some wayward island maybe it will grant us a wish and we can undo the entire Trump syndicate.

    • Bomer

      Even if he isn’t there’s no sense wasting a perfectly good volcano.

  • rcdcr

    Tosh.0, yes. Survivor, no.

  • MonochromeMouse

    No fucking way this is real, it looks exactly like something from a bad sketch comedy show.

  • Stogiebear
  • The Sentinel

    “investigative journalist” LOL.

  • Christopher

    Who is she?
    Who was she?
    Who does she hope to be?

    Pretty sure that covered it. Imma go back to drinking now.

  • Robincho

    Time was when I woulda stepped up for ANY bearded ginger, sight unseen. Now, sadly, I can no longer say that, Chuck will neither taste nor feel the nectar of my loins. Nay, I have not said enough.

    I will be a bystander as his tumbrel creaks by. I will be holding the most putrescent item available, and it WILL connect with his hideous visage…

  • Joseph Miceli

    Wow. If it wasn’t already taken, I’d label him as “the Opposite of Sex.” What a repulsive little toad.

  • Kevin Andrews

    This sick Brietbart scum of the Earth should be a fatality rather than a “Survivor.”. I hope the lying bastard and all his troll Ilk go the way of the Dodo.

  • Phil Touchette

    “Survivor” has been known to cast some controversial public figures (like John Rocker) every know and again, but honestly, I think they wouldn’t dare cast this guy after a simple Google search. I doubt they’d want an avowed Holocaust denier on their show.

  • colo303

    Cannot, I mean, do not want to watch this piece of trash.

  • Joseph Miceli

    Wait…I thought repulsive, back stabbing faggot had already been done in Season one.

  • giantslor

    Weird eyes. He looks like he’s nodding off on smack.

  • Steve Smith

    An old saying from childhood often comes to mind nowadays: “Empty vessels make the most noise”.

  • rednekokie

    Even that weird beard can’t keep him from looking like a sick dork.

  • WKT20

    No thanks! Why give him the views? I’ll take your word that he’s an utter asshole, Joe.