Mueller Charges Lawyer For Lying In Russia Probe

Bloomberg reports:

An attorney who worked for a prominent law firm was charged with making false statements to federal authorities as part of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s probe of Russian collusion in the 2016 presidential election.

Alex Van Der Zwaan was charged Feb. 16 in federal court in Washington with lying to investigators about conversations related to a report he helped prepare on the trial of a Ukrainian politician, Yulia Tymoshenko. Van Der Zwaan was charged with a criminal information, which typically precedes a guilty plea.

Van Der Zwaan, identified on his LinkedIn page as an associate in the London office of Skadden, Arps, Slate Meagher & Flom, was questioned regarding the firm’s work in 2012 on behalf of the Ukraine Ministry of Justice. He allegedly lied to investigators about his last communications with Richard Gates, who was indicted in October with ex-Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort over their consulting work in Ukraine.

  • kcken

    If you’re a lawyer, and you’re DUMB enough to make false statements to the FBI, then ENJOY PRISON, BITCH.

    • kcken

      Also, standby for Trump tweets accusing Jimmy Carter of Collusion.

      • Todd20036

        Best damn ex-President… though Obama just may surpass him

    • Todd20036

      To be fair, the smart lawyers want nothing to do with Trump. Corruption aside, Trump doesn’t pay his bills.

      • Uncle Mark

        Last year, after the Comey shitcanning, one of the newspapers wrote about how most of the big law firms were rejecting Trump as a client and why. I think the list went something like this:

        1. Trump’s toxic reputation could cost them other lucrative clients
        2. Trump is not likely to be controlled or follow the advice of his counsel. (i.e. Won’t stop tweeting about aspects of a case.)
        3. Trump’s affinity for lying could cost them the case(s)
        4. The reputation of the law firm is at stake by taking on such a well-publicized case(s) with a great likelihood of defeat.
        5. If the case is lost, Trump will likely endlessly advertise how “awful/inept” his counsel/law firm is.
        6. Given Trump’s reputation, the law firm is unlikely to be paid, especially if they lose.

        • Todd20036

          Wise move on their part.

        • I read the same.

        • It Takes a Village, People

          That list seems to apply across the board. He doesn’t have a single competent person in his circle. The best people won’t go near him. And the best people like to get paid.

          • prixator

            The best people deserve to get paid. That’s why the dump should be penniless by now.

    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      If you’re DUMB enough to make false statements to the FBI, You most certainly aren’t a smart lawyer. Enjoy being a prison bitch.

      • kcken

        *claps* Well done.

    • Frostbite

      If he’s white, he won’t see prison, and probably a pardon in his future.

      • Devon Rodriguez

        they are ALL white…

        • Frostbite

          Well that’s one prison that won’t be overcrowded.

      • kcken

        Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be disbarred, so enjoy serving Fries With That!

    • Joe in PA

      🎼 If you’re a lawyer, and you’re DUMB…clap you hands…. 🎶🎶

      • kcken

        *watches Trump lawyer slap a woman’s ass*

      • Steven in Texas

        OH NO, courts and law school students have just gone deaf.

      • Uncle Mark

        Says who ?!!!

    • Devon Rodriguez

      You know they are all telling versions of stories that they can not possibly keep straight and this is going to be their undoing…

    • crewman

      Trump’s rise to power is the culmination of a breakdown in accountability that has been festering in the GOP for a decade. Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Infowars, Breitbart, all exist because our system has failed to hold anyone accountable for lying. Mueller is injecting long overdue accountability back into our environment. I am hopeful this is just the beginning, with much more to come.

      • kcken

        Agreed. This is the Tea Party on steroids. Who DIDN’T see this coming. I just didn’t think they could actually get a candidate elected.

        On a more postive note, I’m seeing actual conservatives step away from this toxic mess. Maybe there is some small glimmer of hope.

        • Reality.Bites

          When they vote Democratic they’ve stepped away.

          • AJayne

            Even more so when they’re willing to say so.

      • AaronD12

        Don’t forget the evangelical right getting rid of the Fairness Doctrine. I miss hearing this phrase at the end of the news:

        “Reply time will be granted to those with an opposing point of view. Call or write…”

    • ted-

      That was perfectly said…

  • Todd20036

    Gates flipped.

    • Steverino

      Heads or tails?

  • GayOldLady

    Well, this tells us that Gates is singing like a canary. That’s good for us, bad for Paul Manafort and everyone in his orbit.

    • Reality.Bites

      Screw canaries. I want him singing like Merman

      • GayOldLady

        Well that too! But remember, when the canary stops singing, that’s a sign that all the oxygen is gone. Sing Rick, Sing!!!!

  • SoCalGal20

    Btw Alex Van Der Zwaan’s father-in-law is Russian oligarch German Khan. He sold his oil company to Rosneft a while back.

    • Todd20036


      • kcken

        “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
        *dramatic music*
        “It’s very cold in space*

        • RobYest

          “Gazpacho is also a dish best served cold.”
          “Revenge is gazpacho.”

          • Natty Enquirer

            Fallacy of the Undistributed Middle.

          • Reality.Bites

            Stew is a dish best served reheated the next day.

            Cable news is stew

          • Uncle Mark

            “Hitler’s instrumentality of terror was the Gespacho” – from the book “Non-Campus Mentis” (World History According to College Students)

        • Uncle Mark

          Very cold in Russia too…better yet, send him to the COOLER. (I was abused by “Hogan’s Heroes” at a very young age.)

      • The_Wretched

        KHÄN !!!

        (it’s German)

      • kcken

        “Does it have to be completely lifeless?”
        Checkov, or Me talking about the Trump Administration. Your pick.

      • kelven
  • Nic Peterson

    Van der Zwann would make a great porn name.

    • Joe in PA

      What, Van der Schlong was taken?

      • kcken

        *There’s no candy, just shut up and get in the van*

      • Reality.Bites


      • Nic Peterson

        Too obvious.

      • Jefe5084

        probably infringes on copyright of “Wonder Schlong.” Not sure.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Van der Schwanz

    • #DJTK5F

      Prison porn.

    • Uncle Mark

      It would certainly be his Zwann-song of the legal profession

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Closer to reality every day!

    • bzrd

      thank you
      important to see this everyday to keep the spirits up

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Like ropes tightening on The Rack.

    Feel the pain Donald.

  • safari

    I feel like Donald would lie about his name given a chance.

    • Natty Enquirer

      “Not ever,” said John Barron.

      • The_Wretched

        Well Done!

        I always thought that one was particularly stupid. Anyone who has heard Trump knows he’s distinctive and so trying to lie about who he was on a phone call was doomed even before he tried to start.

    • Tulle Christensen

      “Donald Trump, never heard of him, my name is Ronald Rump. I think he might of gotten me coffee once”. says the president after Donald Trump is indicted

  • canoebum

    Skadden, Arps, of course. The preferred law firm for scoundrels, thieves, corrupt politicians and dictators worldwide.

    • Charlie In SF

      I had thought they folded in the Recession, but I see they have now merged with some other sleaze-shop.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Joe in PA

      “live security” who work for the Donald. Sure Jan.

      • Stubenville

        Dead security is cheaper. Just sayin!

    • Gil

      I was there……I saw the whole thing….( I can lie too)

    • Karl Dubhe

      Who would do this? You would do that, you stupid pig.

      Tweeter diarrhea

    • Makoto

      Man, who would think that a guy who bragged about how he can’t resist and just has to run up and kiss women would be accused of running up and kissing a woman. It’s crazy how anyone would think that he might do that after he said he couldn’t not do it.

      • boatboy_srq

        If she didn’t like it then he couldn’t have done it.


    • safari

      It wasn’t in the lobby.

      • safari

        Also, she’s been asking for the security tapes and met with no response from your organization. Why would that be?

        • boatboy_srq

          The security tapes haven’t been through Video Toaster yet.

        • kcken

          Has anyone searched pornhub ?? 🙂

      • kcken

        I just watch Trump change facts, and dates, and names, and wait for the media to call him out on it.

        They don’t.

        • boatboy_srq


    • boatboy_srq

      Isn’t he on record suggesting that p*ssy-grabbing and person-shooting in Times Square wouldn’t hurt his ratings?

    • glass

      You would, donny small hands. As a matter of fact, if you could slide a few fingers in, YOU WOULD. What an evil dictator.

    • Jefe5084

      “to the best of my knowledge” and “to the best of my recollection” are typical dodges used by the guilty.

  • safari
    • Lumpy Gaga

      Yes FINALLY that fucking bank-connected server is BACK IN THE NEWS where it belongs.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      3. If you lie to Mueller he’ll indict you

      [inhales sharply] What if he asks “Is this a good look for me?”

    • Cattleya1

      We had an instructor in my medical school – a Dr. Dworkin – it was out of his mouth I first heard “the absence of proof is not the proof of absence”. I suspect Mr. Mueller learned that lesson early on doesn’t fall into that trap very often.

  • Stubenville

    Career destroyed. Learn how to say “Would you like fries with that?”

    • Lumpy Gaga

      She wasn’t working.

      She was eatin’.

  • evanedwards

    Charging documents here:

    Any thoughts on who Person A is?

    • -M-

      Would they redact Manafort’s name? Ooh, maybe someone at Alfabank?

  • SkokieGuy / May attempt snark

    Also: Van der Zwaan’s father-in-law German Khan is a co-founder of Alfa Bank, which fell under FBI investigation for attempting repeatedly to link up to a computer server in Trump Tower during the presidential campaign.

  • leo77

    I thought Skadden Arps was one of those cream of the crop law firms who’s associates wouldn’t be likely to get caught up in this type of intrigue.

  • Dazzer
  • OdieDenCO

    I love the smell of Justice being served in the morning

  • JWC

    Mueller is slowly drawing his net tighter and tighter

  • TrollopeReader

    He might want to change his profile … the law office says he was terminated in 2017, and they’re cooperating with Mueller …

  • JCF

    All in all, you’re just another brick in the (PRISON!) wall…