ALASKA: Assault Trial Date Set For Track Palin

Anchorage’s CBS affiliate reports:

Sarah Palin’s oldest son is scheduled for trial in a case accusing him of assaulting his father at the family’s Alaska home. A judge Friday set trial for the week of March 27 for Track Palin after his lawyer said the case would not be ready for a late-February trial as initially set.

Palin participated in the proceeding by phone from an undisclosed treatment location. Afterward, the lawyer declined to say what kind of treatment.

He was arrested after Sarah Palin, the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee and a former Alaska governor, told authorities her son was on some kind of medication and “freaking out.” A police affidavit says father Todd Palin was bleeding from head cuts.

  • Generic Commenter

    “some kind of medication”

    mm-hmmm

    • Mark Née Fuzz

      What’s the medication of choice for Alaskan trailer trash? Does it rhyme with Beth?

      • Generic Commenter

        Yeth.

        • JeauxFan

          You made me LOL

          • Generic Commenter

            Thank you–that is very nice of you to let me know! 🙂

          • JeauxFan

            Well I do love a good laugh, so I’m very appreciative!

  • bkmn

    We had all better send him our thoughts and prayers, since that has worked out so well for him so far.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/661bfb04029a884ef441cbc623b36ed24d3bd1cfdfc3acbf022ab1181dcc4b30.png

    • Generic Commenter

      I sort-of feel a bit sorry for the kid; he didn’t choose his family (and especially his parents). Nonetheless, he is still a fucked-up mess who appears to be violent. I hope he is getting some real help at the undisclosed “treatment center”

      • Todd20036

        Kids aren’t wind up toys. If I could shuck my father who for years told me that I’d be more of a man if I married a woman, even if I fucked guys on the side, then this lame brain could figure out that a family that cannot have a gathering without it turning into a drunken brawl, is a family worth isolating.

        • Hank

          While my parents were not really bad parents, my mother would always attempt to push my “buttons”. Even after I had been out for years, she was always trying to match me up with friends’ daughters. There was a reason, that I always lived at least 1,000 miles away from them…. My Happiness!!!

          • Todd20036

            With a lot of people, gay = gay sex. It’s all about being able to easily find something to stick your dick in.

          • AC

            says the most ribald commenter here

          • Todd20036

            Who? Me??? *bats eyelashes*

          • Dagoril

            We keep waving our cheeks at you. Stick it in already!

          • RaygunsGoZap
          • Todd20036

            Assy McGee! I wondered where you were these days.

          • Nowhereman

            I know, right? When I hear that someone is a practicing heterosexual, I don’t immediately envision what kind of sex they might be having.

          • doninkansas

            I try not to imagine it. Too yucky for me!

        • Mark McGovern

          There seems to be a difference between evangelicals here in Canada and there in USA. Evangelicals here generally don’t drink…

          • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

            They still drive people to though.

        • Nowhereman

          I left my “family” when I was 16. I knew that I would never get to finish high school if I stayed with those drunken, violent crazy people. A friend of mine’s parents took me in. what a contrast!

          • Generic Commenter

            You are extremely lucky, Nowhereman; and also very smart for knowing to exit the ‘violent crazies’ as expeditiously as possible! Not everyone could do that at 16.

          • Nowhereman

            Thank you, and lucky is the word. I was staying with my dad and my stepmom called and threatened to put all my things out on the front lawn if I didn’t come and get them. I called an older friend of mine who had a truck to ask for help, and just half jokingly asked her if her folks would adopt me so I could finish high school. She said “Wait a minute–I’ll go ask them” and set the phone down. I could hear them talking in the background and then she came back to the phone and said “My mom will come get you tomorrow.” and it was a done deal. Probably saved my life!

          • Generic Commenter

            Wow–totally amazing! Sounds like there’s a mini-series there, at least! 🙂

      • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

        Probably some bible school, paid for by the taxpayers, naturally.

      • RainbowPhoenix

        Cutting brake lines could have been a wake-up call if mama hadn’t gotten him a cushy job as a military gopher.

      • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

        As awful as his home life was, I am sure neither Caribou Barbie, nor dad ever espoused the virtues of cutting break lines on school buses. This kid is simply bad, rotten to the core, and needs to be removed from society.

        • clay

          I’m not so sure of that, with dad being anti-government and mom seeming to enjoy physical “humor” and immediate pay-backs. Cutting the brake-lines of school buses seems the logical extension for someone without care for others.

      • nocadrummer

        And hopefully NOT at the same “treatment center” as Josh Duggar!

    • ceeenbee
  • David J

    I’d so like to punch that guy in the face !

    • Todd20036

      The line begins around the corner, Dave.

      • David J

        You’re in front of me in line? Just punch him twice, then, one for me.

    • Prost Seattle

      I’d make his beard stink. The. You can punch it.

  • Todd20036

    Anyone who dates this pile of shit is just asking for it.

    The only intelligent person to deal with the Palins was Levi, and he got out when the getting was good

  • Christopher
  • TexasBoy

    Such a fine, upstanding, Christian, White GOP family!

    • Hank

      They DEFINE “Family Values”!!!

      • Coprolite

        What does it say for Family Values when you have to greet your family at the front door with a gun in your hand?

  • hdtex
    • Todd20036

      theres a big red dildo that needs to be moved

      • Friday’s_cat

        You sure it isn’t a symptom of an STD?

    • Treant

      A little.

    • Nowhereman

      What beard? Oh I see it now.

    • Ginger Snap

      Bearded boy is all over ever good tube site and damn he is one hot fucker.

    • Strkr

      How do those lyrics go?
      “Cause I felt a little ill
      When I saw all the pictures
      Of the jockeys that were there before me”

    • James Casey

      Great toy collection …………

  • Mark Née Fuzz

    Looks crazy with the buzz cut, even crazier with the beard.

    • Nic Peterson

      his dad is a DILF, married to a trainwreck. I wonder what would have happened if Todd had that big city experience that could have changed his path….

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent
    • Treant

      “Clang, clang, clang went the…OH FUCK!”

  • MikeBx2

    They’ll work out a plea agreement by March.

  • another_steve

    Such a nice family they are.

    Maybe I should have them over for dinner and arrange for a house to collapse on all of them.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3e6ecd2ea708595af1524aefa92a35779b39c436ac7d938c1e8de13d9490a24d.jpg

    • safari

      Dinner first. You want it to be a surprise

      • another_steve

        Yes. Absolutely.

        “Excuse me dears while I go to the kitchen now and get the nice apple pie out of the oven. I baked it especially for you, darling Palin family.”

        [goes outdoors, detonates explosives, house collapses]

        • Juvela Bumblebee

          Waste of a good house… serve a soporific of some sort in the food or wine… then, somehow, a tragedy could ensue… such as in a pond only thinly iced over or a neighbour’s pig farm.

          • another_steve

            Hear ya. I have strong pragmatic tendencies too.

            The problem with food poisoning is that it’s potentially curable.

          • Juvela Bumblebee

            True, and it lacks the drama/catharsis of a “KABOOM!”

      • Galvestonian

        Make a nice Kugel and some Tzimmes … copy from Mollies cookbook

        • Hank

          They do not deserve the Kugel, nor the Tzimmes. Stick to a roasted chicken and mashed potatoes!

    • anne marie in philly

      OH PLEASE DO and spare us any more stories about these snowbillies!

  • safari

    Palin participated in the proceeding by phone from an undisclosed
    treatment location. Afterward, the lawyer declined to say what kind of
    treatment.

    It reminds me of when our county prosecutor was caught in his own local/FBI child trafficking operation because he has a passion for prostitutes and at least one incident of exchanging sex for leniency. He immediately went into treatment for sex addiction to lessen his sentence, I believe.

    This, by the way, would be the same prosecutor was in Larry Nassar’s / MSU’s jurisdiction.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I honestly won’t be surprised if he tries to whack a member of his family again in the near future.

  • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

    And the White Trash Sideshow continues…

  • Dagoril

    For the last time, bath salts are not a medication.

  • June Gordon

    Obama did such a shitty job of raising those kids.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      LOL

    • Ginger Snap

      June you rule.

    • kaydenpat

      I’m bowing down to you. Lol!!

    • robert
      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        Oh. My.

        And here I thought I couldn’t crush on him any harder. I love being proved wrong.

      • Generic Commenter

        The beard does suit him, although personally I don’t care for it (on him)

    • Marc

      And Hillary’s emails most likely put him over the edge. Bitch.

  • Sveta

    He’s fuckable, if he stays away from the alcohol/meth/etc.

    • PickyPecker

      Awwww……a newborn bot! Always so cute.

      • Joe in PA

        O/T…hey I see snow in Chicagoland! And more on the way. Whohoo. Rain, rain, rain, here for two days. 🙁

        • PickyPecker

          Supposed to get another 4″-8″ between tonite and tomorrow. GAH!

          • Treant

            How does the greenhouse stand up to that much snow on the glass?

          • PickyPecker

            No glass. Someday I’d like that for the incredible light transmission, however there’s a LOT of upkeep to that.
            Retail area is extruded polycarbonate…heat from interior causes it to slide off. Snow load on that is about 70lbs psi.

            Hoops are double layer plastic sheeting, inflated. Snow also slides off without issues (usually). Snow load of about 40lb psi. Again, heat from interior causes the snow to slide off a ‘gothic arch’ type structure.

            Shoveling is always a bitch along the sides of the hoops. Have to keep the snow-slide from creeping up the sidewalls…too much buildup can lead to collapse. So….I’ve been doing a lot of shoveling!

          • Treant

            Ain’ nuthin’ wrong with polycarbonate, except I never could figure out how they got the stuff to block UV at 350 but be crystal clear above it…

            And yeah, that’s a lot of shoveling with everything you’ve gotten in the last few days.

          • Silver Badger

            I did that here in Denver. Our sun ate up the poly in short order and I had to recover it every year.

          • UrsusArctos 🐻

            I hadn’t picked up on you being in the green business. Birds of a feather and all that, I guess. We’ve always done 6mil UV poly with 1′ of airspace. That’s a benefit of being 8 miles inland from the Gulf of Mexico. You can cut the plastic off for hurricanes so the wind load doesn’t crush your greenhouses.
            SOON!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/938c188385cae1200272d63341e5409184fc2875a031ec26ac68b32334c080c1.png
            greenhouse of the now

          • Hank

            Opt for the 8″ to keep you occupied!!! lol

          • Uncle Mark
        • Michael White
          • Joe in PA

            Whoa! Where are you Michael?

      • PickyPecker

        Edit: be sure to BLOCK these newborn bots as soon as they are identified. Unsure as to their purpose, but they are definitely out ‘learning’ and moving around the web.

      • Silver Badger

        How can you tell? We’ve all had our first comments at one time or another.

        • ChrisMorley

          His one other comment, 2 days ago, was at

          2ndamendmentinsider.com so I’m sceptical too.

        • E.J.

          It’s a copy/paste of Todd20036’s comment below

        • PickyPecker

          It’s comment was a direct copy/paste from one made by Todd further up thread.

          • Silver Badger

            Thank you.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      . .

  • Cuberly Deux

    If he gets one more assault charge does he get a position in the Trump cabinet?

    • Nowhereman

      He’d make a fine Secretary of State, or Chief of Staff!

      • Adam Schmidt

        I was thinking GOP Whip

    • jeffg166

      He gets a mulligan.

      • David Walker

        Better than a mohawk.

      • Frostbite

        You get a mulligan. We all get a mulligan!

        • Ranger One

          I gave myself a mulligan.

          • Mark

            Is that anything like a mullet?

      • Cuberly Deux

        Heh…..they still run Toni’s clip every once in a while.

        The jackass succeeded in branding himself the christianist mulligan granter. Monumental hypocrite.

      • kaydenpat

        VP. Pence is too boring.

      • 🐾vorpal🐾

        Collect them all!

        For a guy named Track, he sure isn’t that swift.

  • Harveyrabbit

    “the lawyer declined to say what kind of treatment.”

    AA?

    Anger management?

    Meth addiction?

    Dumbassery?

    All of the Above?

    • Pat Padrnos

      Palinitus.

    • clay

      I was thinking schizophrenia, but a drug parole violation would be worse.

    • McSwagg

      Affluenza

  • Galvestonian

    Medication ? Oh ? I’m guessing she means the kind you snort with a rolled up bill.

  • i’m kinda sick and annoyed right now, so forgive me for my anger/typoe.

    anyway, i grew up with these people. i am not even lying when i say that my closest neighbor up the road, .05 miles away, was a red headed incest product who lived in a trailer. with her six sister/husband sons and daughters. something like that.

    i am going to die from cancer soon, but while i am alive? let me remind you of my father, a tenured Supreme Court Judge along with some other ones in my fambly. which is very fucked up, but never mind that right now. god i blather on and all i’mn trying to say is that “track?”

    tldr: wow, what a loser. like his mommy. despise him, younglings.

    • Wynter Marie Starr

      CD, please tell me you aren’t really dying. I don’t know you, but I have such respect for you and right now, I’m feeling such pain.

    • fuow

      All the best, dear one.

    • unsavedheathen

      Respect to our sister.

    • BeaverTales

      Best of luck to you…you’re a fighter, and you’re not alone. Like me, one in three Americans will eventually be diagnosed with cancer, and only one in 5 will die from it…don’t throw in the towel too early…just find people who will take the best possible care of you and keep them in your life.

      https://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancer-basics/lifetime-probability-of-developing-or-dying-from-cancer.html

    • Todd20036

      Love from the gutter! Take care of yourself CD. Be strong, but if you cannot be strong, we will be strong for you.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I wonder when Hope HIcks falls for him. (I’m criticizing her rancid taste in men, not hoping he beats her up)

  • SoCalGal20

    Shocked! (Not)

    Did he hang out with Duncan Hunter and his bro crew?

    https://twitter.com/buzzfeednews/status/962383694701920261

    • Cuberly Deux

      “The handling of Porter’s abuse allegations underscores a further complicating dynamic inside the White House: When someone leaves or is pushed out, it’s not always clear if there will be a skilled aide to take their place.”

      “As one Republican strategist noted, many top party operatives have little interest in going to work for Trump: “You have to defend in the indefensible. I would rather be a barista at Starbucks.”

      Who wants to be equated with that administration for the rest of their life?

      • clay

        May that spread and infect the entire party.

        • Cuberly Deux

          If I had to guess, the number of GOPers bailing instead of running for re-election isn’t typical.

          Cashing out, or, cutting and running while they can.

          • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

            My worry is that they’re stepping aside for something else entirely and we’re not cognizant of it, yet.

      • Generic Commenter

        “skilled”? Really? 🙂

  • Lazycrockett
    • Nowhereman

      She comes on at 6 AM here and I set my alarm to be sure I don’t miss a minute of her show. It’s always a treat when she fills in for other hosts during the week, too.

    • joe ho

      And she has zero tolerance for Bernie or Busters and Green Partiers. She has harsh words for Slurandon & Co.

      • Jerry Kott

        She can see in the dark.

      • Lawerence Collins

        And she once called Billary Clinton insane!
        Oh wait, that was before she became a corporate media puppet.

        • joe ho

          lol. You must be off your meds again. People evolve in light of new information. Except for mental defectives like you.

          You did your part in putting Trump in the White House by your year long rabid demonization of Hillary. Even though you ended up voting for her, you had done your part.

          Now go dress up as Che Guevara and play in rush hour traffic.

          • Lawerence Collins

            You’ve no real argument. So your kind stoop to petty insults. I didn’t help elect Toxic 🍊🤡💩. Corporate Democrats did.
            Three years ago, I was still as uneducated as you are now.
            I hope that you have someone to comfort you when you finally wake up to the truth about the DNC, the DCCC and the establishment Democrats.
            I’ll leave you with this. Why are you ok with politicians who don’t respect or represent their constituents??

          • joe ho

            lol. You haven’t been educated. You’ve lost your mind.

            You mistakenly call accurate observations about you insults.

            And still in denial about your rabid Hillary hatred and the role that played in electing Trump.

            The US is not going to turn into a Brocialist workers’ paradise. That’s the argument.

            Deal with it.

            Now go take those meds. Then put on the Che Guevara costume.

  • safari

    Here might be the place to snuggle up with our Tongan love Pita.
    https://twitter.com/Slate/status/962391835720273920

  • RainbowPhoenix

    The million dollar question is who the mama grizzly will blame for her shotgun baby’s problems.

    • fuow

      Oh, that’s easy: Obama and Hillary.

      • Michael White

        They blame Obama because he hasPTSD from being in the military.

        • clay

          . . . “fighting” in Bush43’s Iraq.

  • Cody Johnson

    Saying First Son is redundant, since she only has 1 son. Trig is her grandson.

    • McSwagg

      Is “Trig” short for tri-generation?

  • Boreal

    Seems like ‘Track’ has gone pretty far afield.

    • clay

      He’s ‘off’.

  • JWC

    “some kind of medication??” prescribed or self wrought??

  • Oh, Parker
    • Uncle Mark

      I’ve worked under too many people, who fit that description

    • Treant

      In the cut scene, they all got tremendously drunk and had sex that night before taking on the shark.

      Dibs on beardy.

      • Uncle Mark

        Are you saying they ALL got eaten…and Quint got deep-throated twice? So “we need s bigger boat” was actually a euphemism

        • kareemachan

          TMI

      • Generic Commenter

        That scene now moulders *deep* inside the Spielberg ‘vaults’

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        Your doctor said no alcohol, therefore he’s mine!

  • teedofftaxpayer

    He’ll just get a slap on the wrist and President Obama will be blamed.

  • Andymac3

    Dear Sarah, Meth is not a medication, it just sounds like it.

  • ‘Some kind of medication’. Let me guess: Meth.

  • Cuberly Deux
    • RainbowPhoenix

      Maybe his biological father is related to Michelle Bachman.

      • kareemachan

        Maybe?

        • RainbowPhoenix

          Well, we need to figure out who he is before we can make a definitive statement.

      • I miss Michelle Bachman. I would love to see her challenge Trump in 2020 for the Republican nomination. That debate would be fun to watch. She is so ditzy and extreme he would not know how to handle her.

        • thatotherjean

          True. It might be fun to watch two people who have so little connection to reality debate one another. The only problem with that might be that one of them would win.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Ask your doctor about Ethanol®.

  • fuow

    Mother-fucking bastard should be put away for a long, long, loooong time. One hundred years, minimum. No patience for children who attack their parents.
    None.

    • Reality.Bites

      I’d contribute to Barron’s defense fund, no questions asked.

    • Jerry Kott

      There has been an uptick of this crime. Maybe it is just an uptick in reporting.

  • Friday’s_cat

    Time for something completely different:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2p55BmwmJM

    • Jerry Kott

      Bream me UP!

  • Luther Kreiger

    I wish I could say that I didn’t care what’s going on anymore with America’s Northernmost Rednecks™, but that tire fire sure keeps burning, don’t it?

  • SoCalGal20

    I love that Justin Trudeau is in California! Working on trade deals. Hiking with Mayor Garcetti.

    https://twitter.com/conannbcla/status/962386024516108288

    • Hank

      to promote trade as possible ‘work around’ anti-NAFTA White House

      With California having the largest economy, it would be perfect!

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Well, California knows that if NAFTA were to go, preferential water rights go with it. A lot of Americans don’t realize what NAFTA gives them in the way of preferred pricing and access to Canadian natural resources, to the exclusion all others, even Mexico in some areas. So Cali possibly doing an end-run in case Trump fucks it up? smart move.

    • Reality.Bites

      Notice how he doesn’t wait for the reporter to ask him anything?

  • Sam_Handwich

    Dotard is tweeting again!

  • Judas Peckerwood

    He’s going to kill someone one day soon, mark my words.

    • RainbowPhoenix

      It’s sheer dumb luck that he hasn’t already.

    • Bambino

      Hopefully he keeps it a family affair and leave the rest unharmed.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Damnit! They cancelled Lady Dynamite on Netflix 🙁

  • JWC

    O/T So did Trumpy Whumpy have a tuff week and had to load up AF1 with the required Hombres and fly off to Florida to Golf and rip off “Murica for more

  • Veterans suffering from PTSD resent Track’s behavior being thrown in their face.
    1. Track may have suffered from alcohol and drug abuse issues before joining the army. Although he may or may not have “joined the army to avoid jail”, he most likely was hardly a virgin to hard drug use – and we can use our common sense about Track’s usage of alcohol in high school in Alaska.
    2. Track Palin was a reservist. He most likely did not serve any combat time at the front in Iraq- he guarded a base for a short period. He was an 11B (Infantryman) that served in a combat zone and didn’t earn a CIB.
    He certainly did not serve any time in Iraq during the Obama administration –
    he was a recruiter in Alaska at the time . (Sarah Palin blamed the Obama administration for his PTSD).
    http://us.blastingnews.com/news/2016/01/track-palin-didn-t-serve-one-day-in-combat-as-veterans-attack-sarah-palin-00753713.html
    https://malialitman.com/2016/01/29/the-truth-about-track-palins-service-in-the-military/
    https://military.id.me/news/is-track-palin-a-combat-veteran/
    3. Track Palin does not have PTSD since he served no combat time under conditions remotely related to bringing them on.
    4. PTSD does not have as a symptom domestic violence
    True PTSD sufferers are outraged at this disparaging reference to them that Governor Palin is causing. http://foreignpolicy.com/2016/01/21/vets-are-furious-sarah-palin-blamed-her-sons-domestic-violence-on-ptsd/

    • olandp

      A couple of things… He DID go into the army, reserves or not, to avoid jail. Being raised by the anointed one, Sarah, would give anyone PTSD. If I had the Palins for parents, I’d drink heavily too.

      • Thanks, I will change to may or may have not had a record prior to army service — I spent the past hour doing some research right now — and there are no hard docs out there, talk is that they were destroyed by court order — or protected because he was a minor at the time. The army is not supposed to recruit hard drug users. I am trying to be fair to Track. But using this as a way of tarnishing true PTSD sufferers just is not right. And they are not getting the resources they need to recover and this is making it tougher.

      • McSwagg

        You are correct that PTSD can be caused by childhood abuse, whether that be physical, psychological, or emotional. It’s entirely possible he had PTSD before he even enlisted in the military.

    • Henry Auvil

      I remember, back during her endless fifteen minutes of fame, when Sarah proclaimed, “Say what you will about ME, I raised a combat veteran. You can’t take that away from ME.” Aside from the dishonesty, the fact that she stole whatever valor or sacrifice her son may have earned to bolster her own ego was disgusting. This woman’s fame should never have spread further than the parking lot of the Wasilla WalMart.

      • nocadrummer

        “This woman’s fame should never have spread further than the parking lot of the Wasilla WalMart, or the back of a Chevy station wagon.”

        There. Fixted it.

    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      If you were a Palin though, can’t you imagine having PTSD.

      • kareemachan

        Um, have a hard time arguing this….

  • Tor

    More family values.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    You know, when a dog becomes rabid…

  • margaretpoa

    Ooh! Can I deliver the slap to his wrist?

  • Bambino

    Someone alert another_steve, we got another one that needs reform.

    • David Walker

      Awwwww. He just needs a hug. Just not one from me.

      • Bambino

        Take away his violent streak and his genetic link, he is not a bad looking guy.

        • thatotherjean

          You wouldn’t have much left if you did that, though.

      • Dazzer

        I know a giant South American anaconda that might be prepared to oblige – so long as there was a barf bag ready for afterwards.

      • Gianni

        I’d hug him and molest him if he was tied securely to the bed and I could then strip him down and play with his body, especially if he gets angry and starts demanding that I leave him alone and starts growling at me calling me names as I get him aroused. Is it getting warm in here or is it just me?

    • Somehow, Jared seems like more of a safe choice as a penitentiary roomie than Track. I can imagine what your first night in lock up would be like with comely Track.
      It is 3:00 a.m. in your cell and there is a faint sound of water dripping from one of the pipes.
      Track, Mumbling in the lower bunk: “Is that YOU making that dripping sound? Stop it NOW! I will KILL YOU! Stop it! You made that sound last night! STOP IT!”
      You: “Track, I was not here last night. It is the pipe”.
      Track. mumbling softly: “Where are we? Who are you? I will KILL you!”
      ———-
      Jared is safer.

      • Bambino

        I pictured a more violent Christopher Meloni character in Oz.

      • Dazzer

        How much do I have to pay to option that script?

      • Dayglo

        I don’t see him going to the Tom of Finland Correctional Facility anytime soon.

  • sach2

    I’m sorry, but I would hit it and quit it according to the first picture. Forgive me.

    • Mikey

      unfortunately, he’s sporting the “Charlie Manson” look of the 2nd picture these days.

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        My first thought was he has Charlie Manson eyes…..oh, where is Kim Carnes when you need her.

    • Lars Littlefield

      What does he have against pheasants?

  • Gianni

    He looks quite hot with the beard.

    • Juvela Bumblebee

      Perhaps he could turn over a new leaf and take up a career in gay porn?

      • Gianni

        That is an arousing thought for me.

        • Juvela Bumblebee

          Given that family, I think his mum would be watching.

          • Gianni

            As long as she’s tied in the corner and can’t interfere, that would be OK.

    • Reality.Bites

      Words Marcus Bachmann would literally kill to hear.

      • Gianni

        Oh, please! A chill just ran down my spine.

    • Ann Kah

      Well…not the madman eyes…

    • kareemachan

      You’re weird.

      • Gianni

        And you’re ill-mannered.

  • TheManicMechanic

    How’s that assaulty-walty thing going for ya, Track? Youbetcha bitterclinging!

  • Jay Silversmith

    It’s cute that Caribou Barbie thinks PCP is “medication.”

  • Henry Auvil

    Sarah got the trial postponed because she’s still shopping it around to “reality” TV producers and hasn’t found a taker yet.

  • OCW

    Little known fact: Track had a brother named Field. Meh, I got nuthin

    • Mikey

      I always thought it was a sister called Heroine.

  • Mickey Bitsko

    Somehow I doubt that this time Track will be given the option to join the military like when he set those school buses on fire. Then again, I know poop about how Alaska courts work. Can you bribe an Alaskan judge with propane?

    • RainbowPhoenix

      He didn’t set them on fire. He cut their brake lines.

      • Mickey Bitsko

        Thanks for the info, RainbowPhoenix. In my defense, it wasn’t widely reported.

        • kareemachan

          Oh, we all knew about it. But the main thing is that he CUT THE EFFING BRAKE LINES ON SCHOOL BUSES!!!

  • kaydenpat

    Dang!! They really know how to put the trash in “Trailer Park Trash”.

  • Henry Auvil
  • Grumpy Old Man
  • kareemachan

    oh fuck off.

  • Charlie

    I’m sure there’s a long list of convicts wanting this scum as their ‘cell mate’ when he goes to prison. He’s better ‘loosen up’ before reporting to the pokey. I hope he ends up in a cell with a 300+ pound black man named Bubba who wants to make him his ‘girl friend’. BIGLY!