ALABAMA: No Gubernatorial Bid For Roy Moore reports:

It’s now official. Roy Moore is not running for governor. Twice elected as the state’s Supreme Court chief justice and twice a candidate for governor, Moore did not declare his candidacy and pay his entrance fee by the close of the qualifying window Friday at 5 p.m.

After Moore failed in his bid to win a seat in the U.S. Senate last year, there were speculation and rumors that he might shift his focus to the race for governor. His silence, however, appears to have answered that question.

While Moore is not running for governor, he’s not eligible to seek another term on the state Supreme Court. Alabama law prevents anyone over the age of 70 being elected to a judicial position. Moore turns 71 on Sunday.

  • TJay229

    Thanks to Black Women… we can keep him as a horrible memory.

    • GayOldLady

      Black women, as usual, leading the way!

      • TJay229


        • i just wish some of you white doods would come down here and slave with us for a little bit. it’s so hard working 65/wk hours on your feet, taking care of half your family, and some various and sundry white people who can’t take care of themselves, at the same time.

          • TJay229

            Uh… Please don’t ever refer to ME as a White Person. I AM UNABASHEDLY PROUD TO BE BLACK, ma’am.

          • You haven’t seen our “house”. One dose of our “help” and you’d be beating our backsides with a broom stick.

      • Nowhereman

        That’s a fact!

    • Todd20036

      And that is probably what bugs him the most. The fact that people who he feels never should have been given the right to vote, were the ones who prevented Alabama from becoming a (further) embarrassment.

    • Librarykid

      UP Times 10,000. He will just milk his charity. God Damn his Soul.

    • Juvela Bumblebee

      Can’t help smiling every time I think how much that fact must burn that bigoted SOB.

  • Michael R

    Now he can spend more time with his Jewish friend .

    • FAEN

      Who didn’t vote for him. HA!

    • Librarykid

      The term his wife used was “Jew” and even at that, he had converted to Christianity, so he’s not a Jew no more.

  • David J

    Gee I think I’m going to cry now…one tear for Roy. Actually there’s many more tears for his victims.

    • thatotherjean

      So, Ol’ Roy has finally ridden off into the sunset (poor horse)! Maybe, if he gets bored, Fox News can hire him as a contributor. That way, the rest of us can pretend he doesn’t exist any more.

  • GayOldLady

    Finally this old turd is finished!!! Ok Alabama, flush!

  • Dagoril

    Awww. How sad for him.

    • Nowhereman

      Cue Trump and Kelly going on Fox to bemoan how yet another “good man” has been brought down by those “PC” liberal snowflakes.

  • Bambino

    He is going to build his own mall. The Roy Mall for the teengirls.

  • AmeriCanadian

    Thank the deities!

  • Natty Enquirer

    He can’t run for governor because he still hasn’t lost his Senate race.

  • Boreal

    Now he can devote more of his time to bilking Alabama rubes out of their money with his sham not-for-profit.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      I thought he’d be spending more time at the mall.

      • ZRAinSWVA

        Nah, the high school dance recitals.

    • FAEN

      He’s an expert.

    • Librarykid

      Well, only his profit.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Let’s hope this is the last we have to hear about this member of the wife beater party.

    • Nowhereman

      The WBP! I love it!

  • Anastasia Beaverhousen
  • OdieDenCO

    good start karma. now how about a charge or two to put him into the justice system he abused.

    • Roy in Real Jail… oh, you do know i’m a writer, heh? Daddy says come here…

  • Boreal

    Roy can resume his fitness regimen: jogging.

  • rednekokie

    It’s about time.

  • another_steve

    Jesus has had enough of him.

    He wants him to go away now.

    • anne marie in philly

      same with michele “crazy eyes” bachmann!

  • hdtex
    • who in the actual fuck are you, you fucking fuck? you just made me pee my pants. did you make this, or was it already out there? now i need to go smoke some pot, just because my ribs really hurt.

      (this was a joke)

      • Generic Commenter

        You mean you’re *not* gonna smoke pot? (Disappointed.)

    • Librarykid

      It looks like a former mail truck, but I can’t see if the steering wheel is on the right hand side.

  • SilasMarner

    No Gubernatorial Bid For Roy Moore…Pity. 🙂

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    OT – Already, GOP? It’s not even 9:30 am EST yet.

    • Gustav2

      but…but…but her emails! uraniun one! benghazi!

      • this is where my most salient comment, after reviewing a few and considering the issues, is to say, “Dood. what am i looking at?”

    • another_steve

      Hey… Let’s play “Republican Scandal Bingo”! You know… bingo cards with random scandal categories – “Pay to Play,” “Sexual Harassment,” “Money Laundering,” “Connections to Russia,” etc.

      Would be fun !!!

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        No fair. Everybody would be guaranteed to “win” no matter what’s on their bingo cards.

        So much winning…

        • OdieDenCO

          the multiple games per day ensure fun for the whole family

      • Librarykid

        You left out spousal abuse, child fucking and wife beating.

        • another_steve

          Ohmigod… I just checked my cards!

          If those categories are included… BINGO!!!

          • Librarykid

            Have the nun check your card to be sure then take it to the priest. There is no winning without priestly blessing or validation.

    • Nowhereman

      I long for the days when I could have honestly said that I am shocked to hear this. What is it with the Russian/USSR and the GOP/WBP (wife beater party) anyway?

  • djcoastermark

    Good ! Now let’s hope we never have to see that ugly mug of his again. * exception for that certain page in the newspaper that announces viewing hours.

    • DaddyRay

      I can get behind voting for that next campaign

    • Todd20036

      The Personals?

      • djcoastermark

        Do they still have them in the local daily newspapers?

        • netxtown

          I hope so. I keep looking for an X of mine…..

  • Gustav2
  • Harveyrabbit
    • Dramphooey

      And already gave him a lot of money. A lot.

  • Joe in PA

    No word on what Sassy is going to do. Stay tuned.

    • Nowhereman

      I sure hope that horse gets a better home to go to. I am not an equestrian by any stretch, and even I know that’s not how you ride a horse!

    • Stogiebear

      For the longest while she was looking up the nearest rendering plants in order to have options for her escape if it came down to that.

  • because it is Saturday and i can:

    otee: please (s)listen to “The Richest Man in Babylon.” these people are the most Awesome artists ever. dance, French and revolution. what could be betty-er than that, except pancakes?

      • djcoastermark

        Great for this Saturday morning. Always liked Thievery C.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      What kind of pancakes?

      • i’m a blueberry sort, myself. strawberry are good. daddy always liked that flavored syrup shit, but i’m a purist. i sapped maples as a child.

        just a little banana or blues on top, over pure butter and real maple. hmph. /old

        • TuuxKabin

          Blueberry ‘panques’ on the stove now. Plates in the oven warming up. We’ll set a place for you.

        • djcoastermark

          As a kid, we would help our Amish neighbors collect the sap ( with a horse drawn sleigh) and take it to their sugar shack in the woods. After the fires were stoked and the vats were filled, we would put eggs into the narrow troughs and make another run for more sap. When we came back, the eggs were ready to eat, hard boiled, and full of yummy subtle maple flavor. Ah, good, simple times.

          • Fuck the Amish. They mistreat dogs for profit, and women. I grew up with them. Fuck the Amish.

          • if you don’t believe me: the courthouse where my dad was a judge had an Amish bullshit horse rail, so when they had to come to court to not pay taxes n shit like that because Religion, well hey! hay, whatever. they had a nice ‘horse parking’ zone right out front.

            Fuckign Fcuk the Amish. oh, don’t let me get started on the runaway teens, some of whom are Queer. grrrrrrrrrr

          • djcoastermark

            As a little kid, I wasn’t aware of that at the time. We lived out in the boonies off a dirt road. The only kids around to play with, were our neighbors , who were amish, about 3/4 mile away. They didn’t have dogs, just some milking cows they sold the milk to the local cheese factory, and some chickens they had to sell the eggs.We helped them with their farm and they helped with ours. But yeah, there are some clusters not so nice. Sorry to hear your experiences were not so good.

  • MikeBx2

    Did that loser ever concede his last failure?

    • DaddyRay

      I don’t think so

  • Sashineb
  • JT

    ALABAMA: No Gubernatorial Bid For Roy Moore

    He thought “gubernatorial” meant being a gas station attendant.

    • carrot festival

      Moore like a ladies restroom attendant.

    • Generic Commenter

      Good catch!

  • Friday’s_cat

    Across Alabama disappointment wails into the air as inbreds bemoan the loss of their champion.

    • Dramphooey

      That really is the most satisfying victory of the last year.

  • DaddyRay

    So now Trump is free to appoint him as Rachel Brands position

  • Kevin Andrews

    Dinosaurs died out and this one will too. Good riddance to vile trash.

    • another_steve

      I’ve bookmarked “cock juggling thunder-cunt.”

    • One of my all time favorite movies. It’s completely perfect. Set design, costumes, and of course casting.

  • Nowhereman

    Good! A little ray of sunshine for the people of Alabama.

  • billbear1961
    • Michael White

      St. Michael the archangel defend us in battle lead against the wickedness and snares of the devil……..

      • ChrisMorley

        Bless You, Child.
        I can tell you were once another “good” boy.

    • ChrisMorley

      Extra Upvotes for 3D gif of Archangel Michael having his crotch grabbed by Nasty Fallen Angel Nick.

      • Generic Commenter

        Is that Michael? At first I thought it might have been St George, and then I thought, “Justice” (because of the scales), but I think you are right, ChrisMorley: the white wings are a dead-give-away.

        [Insert Monty Python .gif, “Oh! What a give-away!”]

  • Richard Rush

    So . . . the god who chose a pushy pussy-grabbin’ phony christian to be employed as the POTUS has also chosen a pushy pussy-grabbin’ fanatical true christian, Roy Moore, to be unemployed.

    • OdieDenCO

      sometimes you got to make a point by example before you see results in behavior change

    • Well, you know how fickle these gods are. Think of project runway, one day your in, and the next your out!

  • TominDC

    In some ways, I’m disappointed he’s not running.

    It would’ve been interesting to see how the rest of the republican primary candidates distance themselves (or not) from him, not to mention the increased chance of a democrat becoming a governor of AL…

    • another_steve

      Congressional Republicans sighed a sigh of relief when Moore lost his recent Senate bid. Moore would have become the poster child for everything wrong and corrupt in their party. Democrats this coming November could have done spectacular campaign ads based on that theme.

      Nice that the monsters lost a seat in the Senate as a result of Jones’ win, but having Moore in the Senate would have been very very sweet indeed.

      • olandp

        You would think that the Dotard would be the poster child for everything wrong and corrupt in the Republican party. Alas, no.

        • another_steve

          Trump’s secret of success is that he’s amoral (no morals whatsoever) and stands for nothing in particular. The Republican establishment is therefore able to “write him off” as an empty shell.

          Roy Moore is 100 percent immoral, and we certainly know what he stands for.

          • Perfectly perfect.

          • Generic Commenter

            The Prez’not stands for $$$; I think we can all agree on that. Otherwise, I agree.

  • Tesauro

    Off topic: Why is everyone upset by fox news’ “darker, gayer” piece but not with liberal jezebel?

  • bkmn

    I will call the Gadsden Mall to alert them.

  • joe ho

    I thought god wanted him to be a U.S. senator. What happened?

    • Dazzer

      God has an evil sense of humour and gave him schizophrenia instead?

  • dcurlee

    Guess he is scared of more skeletons coming out

    • William

      As long as nobody starts digging on his property….

      • dcurlee

        Or open any closet doors

  • FAEN

    Like a shitty virus he will be back in some form. It does not give me pleasure to say that but assholes like this constantly throw their racist hats into the ring.

  • kareemachan

    Huh. I looked more closely at that photo and realized that I have the same exact document. Interestingly enough, it PO’s repugs off when I bring it out to make my point.

  • William

    Roy’s not running. Send money!

  • Ninja0980

    Don’t worry, someone equally horrible will be running soon.
    It’s Alabama after all.

  • JWC

    Roy Moore you disgusting lying man ..Go away

    • I think we have seen the last of Roy Boy’s political races. He won’t disappear, he’ll be around to be an “expert “on the right wing new shows.

      • JWC

        Ah maybe but this “Phony–X” has risen from the ashes a few times before

  • Prost Seattle

    So you’re telling me I’m going to miss seeing Kayla in an inauguration ball gown?

  • Generic Commenter

    “Twice elected” and twice removed from the bench. (Sighs.) Can’t they remember anything?

  • BockMcMillan

    Happy 71st birthday Roy, and thank heavens for saving Alabama from more of his shit.

  • Andymac3

    Thank goodness, Kayla’s hair can’t take another blowout, it needs time to recover and heal, like the rest of the country.

  • Gianni

    What happened? Did the light bulb go on?

  • Paul

    Scott Dawson is a famous evangelical pastor in Alabama who’s running for the governorship. He probably has Moore’s anointing to carry his far-right torch.

  • Ann Kah

    In a sane country such a political aspiration would never even be considered. The question would never have been asked.

    We have officially sailed around to that mirror image on the other side of the flat earth.

  • SDG

    How sad

  • Stuart Wyman-Cahall

    G-d whispering in the ears of Michelle Bachmann and Roy Moore: “No”.

  • Nowhereman

    Go fuck yourself, Spammy.

  • Right after we impeach Trump, Pence will ask Moore to be his VP.