Coke’s Super Bowl Ad Triggers Todd Starnes [VIDEO]

Todd Starnes is ever so pissed about last night’s Coke ad:

Coca-Cola’s new Super Bowl commercial celebrates the diversity of the LGBTQIA community — along with a special wink-wink, nod-nod to the non-binary/transgender crowd. The commercial, which aired during the fourth quarter of Sunday’s game, includes a same-sex couple and a person who identifies with the pronoun “them.”

There’s a high probability that parents might be faced with the awkward possibility of having to explain to their youngsters why the person in the Coca-Cola is neither a he nor a she but is in fact a “them.” I recommend that moms and dads simply explain that these days political correctness trumps grammatical correctness.

Perhaps next year Coca-Cola will pay homage to all 72 genders – as identified by the scientists at Facebook. Nothing celebrates diversity quite like a two-spirit, pansexual, gender-fluid “they” slurping an icy cold Coke during the big game.

  • Boreal

    “There’s a high probability that parents might be faced with the awkward possibility of having to explain to their youngsters why the person in the Coca-Cola is neither a he nor a she but is in fact a “them.”

    The horror of explaining to your child that other people are different. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/480b3508c5934d6851699b39b0d16c49a67266de197d81f833a61935ffe59ba6.jpg

    • Joseph Miceli

      Dude, that is right up there with explaining to little 5 year old Timmy that we don’t say “Mommy that Lady is fat” out loud in the check out line. It is a parent’s job to educate and civilize their brood. Explaining that sometimes a boy is born in the wrong body won’t make your kid trans. Explaining that sometimes two girls love each other won’t make your princess want to play Hockey and listen to folk music. If someone doesn’t want to have to deal with explaining the world to their kid, then they shouldn’t be fucking parents.

      • Len Ricci

        Oh how cute… a pig in a wig!

        • Kruhn

          So is he a Piggly Wiggly

      • jmax

        We shouldn’t do anything to make some kid’s parents uncomfortable. And they call us snowflakes.

      • killreligion

        Did you mean field hockey? When I was on high school only the manly girls played field hockey. Apparently in Europe it’s a boys game. Makes your point sort of. Things we see as different are only so because of what we are taught.

    • JoyZeeBoy

      Didn’t Louis CK say, “what the fuck do I care what you tell your kid? It’s your shitty kid, tell ’em whatever the fuck you want.”

  • bkmn
  • Rebecca Gardner

    How do you get offended by that? Todd is a sad little psychopath.

    • David Walker

      I think he’s upset because he tried impersonating a girl so he could get into their locker room and all the girls laughed at him. He’s resented real transgender ever since.

      • OdieDenCO

        shame on those girls for laughing at toddy for having the smallest clitoris in school

        • JCF

          *groan*

          No, no, no: Toad has NOTHING to do w/ the All-Holy Clitoris!

      • Uncle Mark

        Do overstuffed, blathering, man-sized marshmallows really have any gonads?

    • Todd20036

      Any instance that depics LBGTs in a positive or even neutral light is offensive to those who think we don’t deserve to exist. At all.

      Starns would be all for concentration camps

      • Snarkaholic

        His limp wrist would be flipping the electric chair’s switch all day long.

    • jonfromcalifornia

      Toad Starnes is just jealous that everyone is having more fun than he ever will.

      • Paula

        He never gets invited to the cool kids parties!

    • Jon

      There wasn’t a single image of a pale, doughy imbicile drinking a piss cocktail and he’s offended that the ad doesn’t represent him.

  • mikemmiv
  • Joe in PA

    The fact that Toddy thinks this is about being grammatically correct says it all.

    • And even on the grammar front, the singular they has been used since the 14th century. I think it’s time to get over it.

  • The Milkman

    “Nothing celebrates diversity quite like a two-spirit, pansexual,
    gender-fluid “they” slurping an icy cold Coke during the big game.”

    Agreed. Except without the “scare quotes”.

    • Kissmagrits

      “They” …
      Isn’t that the most often cited information source in the universe?

      • Dave B

        I think “They” are also one and the same as “Sources” as in “Sources say”

      • jmax

        “They” are Trump’s leading source of information.

        • JCF

          …and also Drumpf’s most often cited THREAT!

      • (((GC)))

        And “They” are also to blame for everything!

    • Snarkaholic

      People use the singular ‘they’ all the time:
      “Look, someone forgot their bag.”

      • Jon

        Todd’s followers are more likely to recognize “Look, someone forgot there bag”.

        • Snarkaholic

          Your right!

  • Paula

    Shit Todd, can you be anymore desperate at things you find hidden agendas in?
    Solution, don’t drink Coke. Oh and STFU too.

    • Joseph Miceli

      A BIG glass of STFU.

    • Todd20036

      Sigh. I read your comment and my first thought was, “What did I say so offensive?”

      Man I hate the fact that he and I share a first name.

      • Snarkaholic

        Then we’ll just refer to him as Toad from now on.

    • teeveedub

      Coke is not Todd’s beverage of choice. I’ll leave it at that.

      • B Snow

        I don’t know where that meme started, but I had a good laugh going through his twitter feed one day. 🙂

        • teeveedub

          What? You mean you haven’t been blocked? You must be slipping. 😀

          • B Snow

            I’ve never actually witnessed Todd Starnes drinking pee, so I haven’t tweeted about it. I figure it’s just a matter of time, though.

            I did once offer to give him recommendations of gay erotic romance novels, since he seemed so interested in the subject. He never replied. And I’m still not banned.

    • Cattleya1

      He is too busy drinking pee…

  • Cuberly Deux

    Tahd don’t wants to talk to Cletus and Edna Jean, tain’t even sure iffin they his kids to start wit.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
  • Rex

    Coke is the perfect beverage to wash down those Tide Pods you’ve been eating.

    • popebuck1

      That’s the combo the kids are calling a “foamy rinse cycle.”

      • ta2t2o

        As opposed to a Santorum. We’ll have to rename something similar a “Starnes”.

        • RaygunsGoZap

          A Starnes is the stain made of butter-flavored crisco, forearm hair, metamucil strands and a little blood as a fistpig bottom finally lowers his legs and pushes himself of the maroon colored sheets of the VIP room bed.

          • jmax

            Wow. How very…graphic. 🙂

  • ETownCanuck

    It would be easier than having to try and explain what a Todd Starnes is to a child.

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    Starnes’ eyelids are so puffy it’s amazing he can see. Has he been crying?

    • Boreal

      He watches goat porn every day until his eyes bleed.

      • The_Wretched

        You say that like it’s a baaaaaad thing.

  • Rebecca Gardner
    • m_lp_ql_m

      What about all the good things Hitler did?

      • Rebecca Gardner

        Stalin, the misunderstood philanthropist.

        • RaygunsGoZap

          Dahmer – trailblazer in anti-immigrant action. One man can make a difference! Also, several meals.

      • Boreal

        Good people on both sides.

      • David Walker

        Well, yeah, but at least Mussolini got the trains to run on time.

        • TuuxKabin

          The orange turd getting them to crash on time.

      • Bad Tom

        Hitler killed Hitler. He doesn’t get enough credit for that.

        • Harley

          Not so sure about that. Evidence points to hitler being in Argentina after WWII.

          • RaygunsGoZap

            You know who else was in Argentina at same time? Bill O’Reilly’s soon to be mother. So….

      • Kruhn

        Yeah those autobahns and animal welfare laws do sure atone for the millions he killed./s

    • CharlestonDave

      Similarly, bubonic plague has gotten such a bad rap. Unfair!

      • RaygunsGoZap

        Most of the people it killed were unemployed! Takers’

    • JaniceInToronto

      Bendict Arnold -WAS- a great guy and a true patriot and Canadian hero.

      Sorry you were on the wrong side…

      • RaygunsGoZap

        LOL

    • Gustav2

      Boycott the Republican Party

      If conservatives want to save the GOP from itself, they need to vote mindlessly and mechanically against its nominees.

      https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/03/boycott-the-gop/550907/

  • Ok, so, I just watched the ad….
    Holy Fuck did that offend me!!!
    How dare Coke put that filth on Tv!!!
    Boycott Coke!!!!!!
    (rant over….seriously, what exactly in that ad was offensive?)
    Also, Todd, go ahead and off yourself.

    • Boreal

      I’d pay to watch him off himself on video provided I was sufficiently entertained.

    • David Walker

      Indeed. These people have a long history of trying to subvert the Murkin people. There was that New Coke thing. And even before that, all those hippies on a hillside singing “I’d like to teach the world to sing” and “I’d like to buy the world a Coke.” And then they didn’t. Bastards!

  • Albert Ross

    That mouth has been on many a glory hole.

    • Chuck in NYC

      And, like in the screen shot above, Todd thoughtfully removes his dentures first.

  • Paula

    Todd, that Jeep anti-manifesto commercial was very subversive. You need to watch it repeatedly and discover the hidden symbolism. Even if it takes you two years.

    • Boreal

      It has a secret message from Lyndon LaRouche embedded in it.

  • BlindBill

    he had to work to find something to whine about, yet Christians believe their god is a “them” – the father, son, and holy ghost … guess he is saying that he does not believe in god?

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    He was probably ever-so-pissed at this Coke ad in 70’s too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q

    • Boreal

      Dirty fucking hippies.

      • TuuxKabin

        I dirty fuckin’ beg your pardon?

        • Boreal
          • TuuxKabin

            That was great. Thanks.

            Gotta find photo of the micro bus, VW, a/k/a ‘combi’ in Mexico we had. ’95 VW bus. I felt like I had arrived.

            A neighbor’s car in the Haight Ashbury, way back when:

            http://www.lifebuzz.com/joplins-porsche/

        • Steve

          Enough with the “It’s Saturday night in the dungeon” talk! Just kidding. Do go on…

          • TuuxKabin

            See below.

    • Lazycrockett

      Thanks Don Draper!!

  • Rex

    Share a Coke and your bigotry.

  • The_Wretched

    Message of inclusion upsets bigots. /cue my shocked face.

  • Slippy_World
  • 🐾vorpal🐾

    Apparently, it makes sense to allow your children to watch grown men slam into each other violently, but a commercial briefly demonstrating the existence of LGBT people is too far?

    • edrex

      for some of us, demonstrating the existence of lgbt people and watching grown men slam into each other is the same thing.

      • Todd20036

        I can relate. But not if it’s helmet wearing concussionists.
        Give me Turkish oil wresting

        • ta2t2o

          Always wear a “helmet” when you’re “slamming into someone”

    • Harley

      Better to explain to your younglings about how god ordered all disobedient children to the edge of town to be stoned to death.

    • Kruhn

      Actually body slam a grown man about 10 feet into the ground as an Eagle defensive player did it to a Patriot running back while people lustily screamed in approval. Reason I saw that was because I was at the Philadelphia Greyhound station waiting to get home and, of course, they had the Superbowl on every screen.

  • TimJ

    How whacked does someone have to be to take offense at the commercial? Sure it was kind of cheesy, but offensive?

  • S1AMER

    Anybody who upsets the Todd Starnes’s of this world is doing a good deed. Period.

  • Kids have a lot less trouble with these issues than Starnes does.

    • Todd20036

      Until they are taught to have trouble with these issues…
      Fortuantely, that is happening less and less now

  • Pizza009

    You might have to explain to your kids that a world exists outside of your small little church.

  • TK

    I still wonder about Todd’s gender – or is he just really made of dough.

    • Boreal

      Latex.

      • Bad Tom

        Play-Doh.

  • Lars Littlefield

    Coca Cola doesn’t make a coke for stubby/chubby mirorpenised men with heart disease, myopia, diabetes, and bad self images? Sounds like Starnes is whining about a personal problem as usual. 🙁

    • David Walker

      He’s sympathizing with president shithole.

  • SFBruce

    So Starnes is upset that because of a silly little Coke commercial, some parents will need to explain gender fluidity. I’ve never been a parent, but it seems to me that about 95% of parenting is about explaining stuff, some of which is extremely tough. Like why did Grandma have to die, why are there hungry children in a rich country, and why does the boy in my class have cancer? Compared to the really tough stuff, talking about the fact that the LGBT community exists is a piece of cake.

    • Miji

      I’m sure his ilk will just lie to their kids about the existence of LGBTQ people like they do about everything else. They’re certainly not going to answer those other questions by confessing that conservatives don’t like Medicare, food stamps, or regulations that keep lead and petro-chemicals out of that boy’s drinking water.

    • greenmanTN

      Some people fall in love with people of their same sex. BOOM, you’re done. I don’t get why explaining reality is so fucking hard. It just IS and stamping your feet about it isn’t going to change it, so get the fuck over it.

      I have to accept reality every day, for example that this smarmy little shitstain exists and for some bizarre reason has been given a soapbox from which to preach hate.

      • Priya Lynn

        I think what they’re scared of is not having to explain that some people fall in love with people of their same sex but having to explain why that’s wrong – that’s a lot tougher to do.

        • greenmanTN

          Because Jesus said so (except he didn’t)?

      • Menergy

        Thank you for the succinct recommendation!

  • Natty Enquirer

    We need a neuter singular personal pronoun. I don’t like to see the language reduced to relying more and more on context.

  • Joseph Miceli

    What these selfish, hateful assholes label as “political correctness” should be called by its real name: Politeness! It has another name too, compassion. Fuck you Todd Starnes! Just because WE have enough empathy to say…”Okay, I’m not gay/straight/bi/asexual/trans/black/Asian/whateverthefuck…but if I WERE, I’d want to be treated with respect so I will follow the golden rule” doesn’t mean we are weak. It means we are STRONG. YOU people are the ones threatened by difference and change.
    So much for that Golden Rule. Maybe Todd should stop pretending to be a Christian.

    • Steverino

      People like him have perverted the Golden Rule to: “Do unto others as you would NOT have them do unto you.”

    • As I used to teach my students, “When you tell me what to call myself–that’s Colonialism. When I tell you what to call me–that’s Empowerment.”

      • JCF

        “Hey, shut up you dirty injun—you should be HONORED to be associated w/ the Washington Redskins!”: a rough approximation of the reaction you get? Stay strong, Ty.

    • (((GC)))

      Amen! The only Golden Rule those hateful right-wingers understand is “Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

  • Rex

    We all know that Coke isn’t your drink of choice, Todd, you prefer it recycled.

    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      Tell ham to explain that to his cheeldern.

  • Friday’s_cat

    Been there heard/read that with the interracial parents pouring the kid’s breakfast cereal TV ad. Not brains but outrage animates the Theozombies.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    How hard is it to comprehend? Growing up I used them and their to describe an individual very often and no one bitched about it. To explain it to fundies just ask if they’d be ok with referring to their god as an “it” since god shouldn’t have DNA nor should it have any genitalia of any kind.

    • Friday

      They seriously think somehow it’s a crisis when people have been using ‘them’ as the singular indeterminate gender for centuries, except for about a hundred year interval where they taught people they had to say ‘he’ for any assumption, or later ‘he or she.’ People would casually say ‘them’ anyway, though, cause it’s natural to the language.

  • Sashineb
  • sdnative1958

    Relax, Todd – have a Pepsi.

    • RobynWatts

      He can’t even have that as the president of PepsiCo was against the bathroom bill in North Carolina.😁

      Perhaps Double Cola would fit the bill.

      • TuuxKabin

        RC Cola? Is it still a thing?

        • RobynWatts

          It’s still available. It’s now owned by Dr. Pepper/Snapple Group. In my area, the people who bottle Cheerwine (a cherry flavored soda) have the distribution rights to it.

          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/RC_Cola

          • TuuxKabin

            Gak! As I sit here sipping Vicks cherry flavor expectorant, suppressant. I do like Snapple’s Lemonade. Thanks for the info.

  • Harveyrabbit

    Todd just doesn’t like soft drinks period. Not surprising from a guy who drinks nothing but his own urine. (oops didn’t see the same pic below) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bea72ae0c7602229109d7379a0fbb1aed45907d8b21fa0b5d05bd5864f216649.jpg

    • jmax

      Pee Pee Todd!

    • Sashineb

      Did we borrow from the same place? LOL

  • Ninja0980

    Funny thing is my nephews and nieces have never been bothered by their uncle Ninja being married to a man.
    Kids don’t give a shit about this stuff unless they’re taught to.

    • edrex

      our friends’ children think it’s cool that their “uncles” are two best friends who have lived together “forever.”

      • TuuxKabin

        We’re referred to as funcles, because we’re a hell of a lot more fun than any other relatives.

        • edrex

          and kind of “funky?”

          • TuuxKabin

            Hun? You need to ask?

          • edrex

            no. i don’t. mwah!

    • MichaelJ

      Coming out really is the best weapon in fighting homophobia. I can’t count the number of young people (50 and under, from my perspective) I’ve known who have said they adore/adored a gay uncle or aunt.

    • unclemike

      My niece and nephew didn’t even question their uncles’ relationship, although when we finally were able to get married, my 8-year-old niece, in her overly dramatic and sarcastic way, wailed, “You married a BOY??” And then she giggled mischievously.

      She has a great future in online trolling, that one.

      • Snarkaholic

        I congratulate her for having achieved that level of snarkiness at such a young age!
        That kid’s going places!

  • Tomcat

    Trump drinks diet coke sooooo I will never drink that one.
    Look what it has done to him.

  • Rebecca Gardner
    • William

      Do they pick evil looking people from a catalog?

      • JCF

        They breed them.

  • Pip
  • Adam Stevens

    Poor fool. Not really his fault, though. Heterosexuals are so accustomed to being pandered to, they feel brutally assaulted when any other group is ackowledged.

  • Droz

    I get a special satisfaction knowing that the scariest thing in the world to a Christian is having to talk to their children.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Especially when it’s about truth, compassion, empathy or reality.

    • Gretchen

      Apparently that extends to their adult children as well. I just invited my mother-in-law to a birthday dinner for her son at our house this Sunday evening. She says she will “try” to make it, but Sundays are so hectic with all her church stuff happening. Oh and she also has to do her other son’s laundry. He’s 43.

      Sorry that wasn’t really on topic.. I just needed to vent.

      • Droz

        Oh, by all means. Feel free!

  • David

    Hey Todd. It’s not our fault you’re a 50+ year old virgin.

  • JamesStone

    Todd obviously has some major sexual orientation issues..

    • The_Wretched

      He’s mad there isn’t a ‘peepee soaked ham’ option.

  • Jmdintpa
  • Tom MSP

    I was listening to a podcast last week and someone called into the recorded podcast and said they had heard that Todd Starnes was a known goat fellator. Was he offended that goat fellators weren’t included in the commercial?

    • boatboy_srq

      Depends whether Starnes believes goat fellators are a unique gender identification. Looks more like he’s still having trouble with male and female…

    • William

      Todd Starnes blows goats? It must be true, I read it on the internet.

      • Silver Badger

        So did I. Just now!

        • TuuxKabin

          Blow a goat?

          • Silver Badger

            Read about Mr. Starnes and his goats. I keep a man for blowjobs.

          • TuuxKabin

            oh.

          • Lars Littlefield

            “Let’s go blow a goat.
            Clamp on its tits and bite
            Up in the atmosphere.
            Let’s go blow a goat and send it soaring
            Up through the atmosphere
            Up where the air is clear.”

  • JWC

    Todd you dumb fuck To have parents sit down and try to explain to their kids what is wrong with these ads would cause confusion Your kids are smarter than you You are either part of the solution or part of the problem You pick

    • Friday

      Since he’s part of *inventing* the “problem,” I think we know the answer to that.

  • Proud MOFO Beaner (bkb)
    • TuuxKabin

      Thanks, proud one, a moment of silence.

      • Proud MOFO Beaner (bkb)

        Cant believe it’s been that long — and how little we’ve come since then

        • TuuxKabin

          It is shocking. A year. As you mentioned, previously, it’s in the american DNA. It just is.
          OT: the PhotoShop course begins this Saturday, 4 hours every Saturday afternoon until early April.
          El HubCap’s going to guide me thru the transfer from my ‘scan file’ and I’ll put in an image, one day soon, in a comment to you. And, I’m signed up and good to go with the link to the site you provided. Thanks again.

          • Proud MOFO Beaner (bkb)

            Awesome! Looking forward so seeing your work! One you sign up, follow me and I will get a notification

          • TuuxKabin

            Will do. Probably be voolf61, maybe TuuxKabin. El otro did the sign up for me. He likes all that kinda stuff.

          • Proud MOFO Beaner (bkb)

            It’s healing for the soul to be creative. I used to work on one image a day but sometime last spring I lost some creative energy. That’s normal I think. Need to start getting back into it. Maybe try something different….

          • TuuxKabin

            It is. Keeps me focused on what I really want to do and feel that I am about. I do most of my work after dinner, I like the light over the work table. And I enjoy cutting the final print copies, however many to the sheet. I use ‘zig zag’ cutters. Like pinking sheers. Got a rubber stamp: ‘raggedy ass edged in collaboration with 2guysnamedjoe.’ The two of us. Lately I’m on a book mark tear. Block Party Fair/Sale coming up in May, the workshop and I are taking a space to show and hopefully sell. I get blocks for . . . a day or so, but with so much time on my hands Iit doesn’t last long.

    • JCF

      In just 2 years, he’d be old enough to run for Congress. Memory eternal.

  • TuuxKabin

    GO CORN SYRUP!

    • GayOldLady

      If ever corn syrup was right, it was in that commercial.

      • TuuxKabin

        I’ve only drank Coke in Meheco. Sugar cane is the sweetener. What a difference. Especially if an uncertain tummy is involved. Coats it real good, real nice.

        • GayOldLady

          I believe Coke was sweetened with sugar when we were children. We’re so damned OLD!

          • TuuxKabin

            Had cocaine in it as well, or is that urban legend? We were not allowed a lot of sugar drinks. Don’t know what bee put that in Emma’s bonnet, but I’m glad it did. Homemade lemonade when it was rarely warm, or even hot in the East Bay Area. But water. Or milk. Since she liked her root beer floats she’d indulge us as well.

          • GayOldLady

            Cokes were a rare treat at our house. Only grownups were allowed to drink except for the special occasion. We drank milk and lemonade also. And I remember reading somewhere that at one time cokes secret ingredient was cocaine. Cocaine wasn’t illegal until sometime in the early 20th century.

          • TuuxKabin

            NO. WE. ARE. NOT. I still get asked, ‘how old are you?’ when I get all snarky and sarcastically ‘fuck off’ with friends. Thanks gawds Mr. D. is the same, just more grown up about it. We’re as pretty as we feel. And as old as we feel. Now, however, having said that, I think you’re correct. Ow.

        • Lars Littlefield

          Mexican bottlers also use kosher animal-based gelatin rather than agar which makes a difference in taste. Although I rarely drink it, Coca Cola bottled in Mexico is very popular where I live and readily available. It always comes in bottles.

  • Mike C

    Next year they’ll feature a potato so you feel included, Todd.

  • Frostbite

    Awww the yellow snowflake is upset.

  • Buford

    Parents should never be forced to explain things to their children… that’s simply un-American.

    • Friday

      Of course they insist the schools shouldn’t teach anything, cause that’s for *parents* to not-explain to kids. 🙂

      • Gretchen

        Do you have any idea how much I would have gladly paid to have someone else have the sex talk with my kid?

        • Friday

          What I have no idea of is why. Some kind of cultural hangup?

          • Gretchen

            No, not really. My son is a special needs adult who was already 15 or 16 (I know it’s awful I can’t remember) when he came to live with us. Zero ground work had been put in place on the topic, and he was heavily medicated for schizophrenia at that point. Later when he was on less drastic medication, he was running full tilt into trouble, and the last thing I wanted to discuss was safe sex, but I did it. He wasn’t at the time really capable of taking information on board and applying it, so I was pretty worried. He had discovered online dating, but not really how to navigate it safely. He had an angry husband show up at his apartment door one night. Fortunately the staff person working was a responsible adult and about 6’8″ and completely filled the doorway. The man left without incident. It was a difficult conversation, but we figured hearing the basics from us was better than whatever crap his other irresponsible staff members (don’t get me started) were spouting.

            I should probably do a reminder discussion, but at this point I imagine he knows more than I do.

          • Friday

            Oh, yeah, well, that’s a whole other ball of wax, that not having public education do anything but skirt it thanks to Fundies all along made worse.

    • Silver Badger

      Unless the parents make a big deal of a coke commercial, it flew right over the kids head. If not, the kids are probably better informed than the parents.

  • TominDC

    This from someone who bitches about the “PC Police” forcing him to use (or not use) certain words.

  • MikeBx2

    Starnes is truly representative of Evangelical vicious hatred.

  • GayOldLady
    • TuuxKabin

      Lacking. Not ‘nuf greazy. Slimey.

      • Silver Badger

        And way too much salt.

        • TuuxKabin

          TotLee.

    • William

      All it needs is lipstick.

  • Kissmagrits

    Toddy’s pissed that the Coke ad didn’t have a classification that
    adequately describes his all-seeing, all knowing wonderfulness.

  • boatboy_srq

    “Pangender diversity is WRONG!!! WAAH!!!11!1!”

    …says the Spoo masquerading as male.

    • Friday

      He keeps trying to prop up his masculinity, but apparently not even Faux News’ atmosphere of constant sexual harassment could do that.

  • David
  • Friday

    So, it seems he’s bitching about something I missed in a quarter-second Youtube skip, apparently.

  • What a sad, pathetic little man he is. I hope he can find peace soon. No one, no matter how hateful, should have to live a self-loathing life.

  • PickyPecker

    Fuck that hamhead. No one cares what he has to say.

    OT: Now for something nice. Thought I would share the signs of Spring that are in the greenhouse right now (JoeinPA…as promised).
    First pic is what it looks like now from the back door of the greenhouse looking south over our property toward the glen (where there is a dry creekbed and tons of wildlife – turkeys, pheasants, coyotes, etc.) This is the bleak of winter.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f5ab4d313b124265bd5a9ba410784be93db156ef80e0666f3270b9c55177acc.jpg
    Here’s a shot of the promise of Spring. Some of my seedlings @ a propagation station.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d0ac7447ed009e505b8fa77b7e5db976c6d040ea27528fcb8db6e6751a95acaf.jpg
    Here’s a couple shots of my work environment…is a bit jumbled right now, but I am getting organized towards Spring.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d81cd2243b71602ad5098091d7cdcc63dea995b2bcced03169f4aae6be8c2698.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36639e268464f3a560f94ea135fcb330da21cf421b62406ec708c5a4a88b8528.jpg
    And last shot….has been a lovely flush of Amaryllis the past couple weeks. (yes, yes…that is a poinsettia behind them. I haven’t had the heart to compost it yet as it’s been so beautiful to enjoy.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9ab68b1cc26bfef09c45ea5be1e05b88e7d2f39b8a55e7d53d85d8b4b292d15a.jpg

    • Silver Badger

      There are times, Mr. Pecker, that you make me feel like a horrible slacker.

      Edit: Thank you for the beautiful pictures.

    • Boreal

      Nice. I see the cannas are up and growing.

      • PickyPecker

        Yup. Those are seeded, dwarf varieties (yellow and bronze-leaf red). The larger varieties are on my list for division and will include Canna musifolia.

        • Boreal

          Looks like streptocarpus on the edge of one bench?

          • PickyPecker

            Yes, Concord Blue. We also have the white variety, which I prefer. 10″ baskets of both are on schedule and looking great.

          • Boreal

            My eyes are getting bad. I had to put my glasses on to see them. Going to an African violet/Gesneriad nursery at the end of the month. Only about an hour and a half away but haven’t been there in years.

          • PickyPecker

            BTW, the ferns hanging in the one photo are ‘Tiger Ferns’ – a somewhat variegated variety of Nephrolepis exaltata.
            VERY showy and something we feature instead of the standard. These are in 10″ HB and are already youuge. If you haven’t tried one….they are an extraordinary grower.

          • TuuxKabin

            Good for a sturdy pedestal? Thinking of replacing a typical ‘ivy’, in the foyer of our building with something, and I really like ferns.

          • PickyPecker

            They’re awesome. A variety of ‘Boston’ fern…thrives on water, for the most part. They grow to be beasts.

          • TuuxKabin

            I’ll gladly be their beast of burden. Boston ferns, eh? A favorite as well. Thanks.

          • PickyPecker

            Streptocarpella.

    • misterjack

      Beautiful! I think a trip to the conservatory is in my future.

    • William

      My ex had a poinsettia he kept for years. It was sort of a pet.

      • JCF

        Wow, every poinsettia I ever kept became “dead poinsettia” PDQ…

    • TuuxKabin

      Your own Botanical Garden. The PickyPecker BG. Gorgeous! The first shot especially, describing the wild life back there. Inspiring, fortunately all we have is an 11 x 14 deck, but it grows! We’re still eating the chili from last season’s crop.

    • Lars Littlefield

      Very nice greenhouse, Mr. PickyP. I am envious.

      • PickyPecker

        Thanks! Things will become much more ‘regimented’ as we move toward Spring and the busy season. Tags; crops all lined up nicely. I’ll post some pics as we progress.

        • Lars Littlefield

          I’ve become lazy. La granja de Lars y Luis is a major mulch demonstration project. I cultivate mostly perennials and depend on friends to donate any annuals and because I mulch so heavily I have this odd talent for getting annuals to always volunteer. I wait until the last frost before cleanin up the flower beds. Then everything goes into the wood chipper to make more mulch. I’ve been caring for what started as 12 mahogany-colored dwarf marigolds for more than 15 years. They just keep volunteering into an even larger patch each year. Although I do have one weakness. I have far too many varieties of epiphyllum cacti crowded into what serves as a conservatory, waiting to be placed outside in semi shade between the last and first frosts. I can’t have enough epiphyllums.

          • PickyPecker

            We have several varieties of epiphyllum. I used to propagate them and offer them to customers, but they just don’t ‘sell’ unless they are in bloom. My large purple just finished up a nice flush. I keep them hanging around….mostly as pets these days.

          • killreligion

            I love them. I just have a small English glass greenhouse attached to the house and by March it’s an explosion of color from the epiphyllum-you can see it from space, as the joke goes

            I don’t have purple, that sounds great. I know there are dozens of varieties

            Now The orchids are in varying states of bloom/spike-it’s exciting growing things that only bloom once a year, anticipation and all that

            I have a cactus, blooms one day/year. I usually miss it due to work, hubby calls wherever I am and tells me

            If you are a professional you probably hate hearing this. I do no annuals (except tomatoes). The tropicals come to the patio and get hung in trees and the garden is almost all perennials. I would love to buy annuals to fill in and provide constant color, but I’m just too busy and away too much

          • Lars Littlefield

            I’m like you. I’m not too fond of annuals. I much prefer perennials and biennials. I got interested in horticulture from my grandparents who raised bearded iris. When I started college in the sixties I had taken over almost a quarter of an acre of the family farm with hundreds of different varieties of iris. That patch of iris and the weed I grew along the drainage ditches helped keep me flush during college.

            After college I owned a cactus and tropical nursery for ten years. I got a good deal on a vacant service station which had plenty of room for connecting three large commercial greenhouses. I called the business Cactus and Tropicals (clever, no?). One side was cactus and succulents while the other half was medium to large tropical house plants — ferns, palms, big fiddler rubber trees etc. The grower I bought the best cactus from sent me a couple of epiphyllums to see what I thought. And Pecky P. is 100% correct. Customers didn’t have any interest in them unless they were in bloom.

            The nursery was a great business, but I expanded to installing and caring for large plantings in shopping malls, lawyer’s offices, medical centers and clinics, which became a business all its own. My little venture became too successful to the point I wasn’t enjoying it. It had become work. My employees were cool and I enjoyed having them around. But I woke up one day to realize I had become little more than an accountant. I sold the nursery to a couple of nice lesbians who grew the enterprize even larger, expanding to a huge nursery and garden center. Anyway, when I sold the business I kept all of the epiphyllums and one enormous beaucarnea I’d owned for 30 years. April 15th everything is moved to a large lathe house that I pretend is a lanai. That’s where I go to hide in the garden chaises and stare at a four foot tall head of Buddha for as long as it takes to prevent me from killing people. The hummingbirds love me.

          • killreligion

            Congrats on the success, hope you got a huge wad of cash!

            I don’t understand why people don’t like them but I also don’t understand why I always see people buying perennials in full bloom, they seem to pick out the ones with the most flowers, most opened. Worse ones to buy- as we know get them early or well after and let them invest some energy into the roots and getting established.

            It’s instant gratification I guess. I’m not in the majority, but that’s ok, looking at who is!

          • Lars Littlefield
          • Jwmvh

            Lars. Wonderful! I think that hybrid is Giant Empress. I got some cutting about three-four years ago and it hasn’t bloomed yet. Hopefully this spring. See my reply to Mr. Pecker above. I love epiphylums!!! Where does it grow? That’s not this year, is it? My true xmas cactus just started blooming last week. I call it a Groundhog Day Cactus. All this talk about Orchid Cactus has gotten me so excited. Not THAT kind of excited, but almost!😊

          • Lars Littlefield

            The photos are from a couple of years ago. I purchased the plant at the Orchid Cactus Society annual show and meeting at held at the Huntington Museum in CA. The glass enclosed eastern room that was inted as a conservatory is where all the cactus live during the cold months. Not much room for getting in there and watering. April 15 everything goes into a lath house. I’ve got 12 varieties of Rhipsalis that prefer to hang there than indoors. I’ve got so many varieties of orchid cactus that I don’t know any of their names. However, the original Ackermani hybrid from the early 1900s always blooms best and is the most spectacular. I get two seasons of bloom from most of the cactus.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2aadfd4ae76c22a1b4f035da27dd80ca3fbab0c4824bd9034cc2fef90c530239.jpg

          • Jwmvh

            I know about Ackermanii. Very beautiful! I’ll try to post a picture of William Clark. I couldn’t earlier. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73aef6cade4667e4d687ca0dc9cb44d70d0c2babbfd717e77fdcfffd69aafeb8.jpg

          • Jwmvh

            I have a hundred questions for you now. I don’t think I’ve ever known any one else that grows Orchid Cactus. How exciting!!!

    • The Milkman

      People who can grow things are amazing to me. It’s like a super power. I kill every plant I touch. The only plants that flourish in my immediate environment are the ones that I actively ignore.

    • Joe in PA

      Wowowowow…totally JEALOUS PP. Dang, I want a greenhouse even more now!

      But I couldn’t NOT comment on the fact that you have a chandelier in the middle of your amaryllis patch. That is about as gay as you get right there. 🙂

      You have pheasants? That’s great. I can’t remember what takes them here but apparently re-stocking hasn’t helped and we have basically none. 🙁

      Thanks for posting!

      • PickyPecker

        Doesn’t everyone have a chandelier to accent their blooming plants? I’m so disappointed!!
        (that’s a shot of our ‘retail’ area…I try to create engaging displays a la Bachman’s)

      • killreligion

        I just heard from a hunter pheasants don’t breed where I am (cold New England). Of course they were brought here as game stock-I think they originate in china? Maybe you are in similar situation to me. We see them very rarely as they aren’t maintaining their population

        In the Netherlands I see them along the highway all the time. It’s milder there so they have a sustained population I suppose.

        • Lars Littlefield

          Your hunter friend lies. It’s true that pheasants are not native to the USA, but once let loose they breed like minks. Even in places much colder than New England. They just have to have enough cover and food, like the leftover from corn, wheat, barley, or oat fields. They also do very well in orchards. In fact, if you have the money, you can set loose golden chinese pheasants and they’ll settle in just as well as the more common Mongolian ringneck-type.

          Our German Shorthair, Tucker, lives in heaven because he can’t walk more than 20 feet along the fences of our farm without having to point and flush out pheasants. But we do live in a much milder temperate climate than New England.

          The trick to having any species of game bird breed in cold climates is brush cover and a reliable source of food. You’ll have even better success it you can offer them an abandoned chicken coop and DirecTV. 😀

          • killreligion

            Thanks for the info. I’ll have to ask him, maybe it’s habitat and not cold very forested/mountainous here.

            It’s true we see them very rarely here, but I saw them more at my mom’s in CT ( where we had German short hairs growing up. A local painter did a portrait of one and as a thanks we got a print. The painting was a fortune in a NY gallery that rep’d him). Great dogs.

          • Lars Littlefield
          • Shorthair? Looks like a wire to me…

          • Lars Littlefield

            Actually, he’s a griffin. But hey. Most of the time his muzzle is shaved to remove all the cockle burrs he picks up.

        • Joe in PA

          Interesting. I grew up in MN though and I’m pretty sure we had pheasants. I only saw them in the fall…maybe they migrate? I’ll do some digging, I’m now intrigued. 🙂

    • TominDC

      That whole greenhouse is yours?
      That’s… bigger than some apartments around here!

      I’m jealous of all the yard space you have.

    • JCF

      I actually miss the “bleak midwinter” scenes from when I lived in the Midwest. It’s in the mid-70s here in Sacra-tomato, and we’re about to turn full Spring very soon (I used my first nasal spray in months today—hello, pollen!). Worse, we’re back in drought again. 🙁

    • Cattleya1

      Do you have help with all of that? It is gorgeous!

    • Jwmvh

      OMG! Mr. Pecker. You’ve mentioned your greenhouse before and I told you I was so jealous. Now, after seeing pictures of it for the first time, I’m beyond jealous. How wonderful. I’m in awe! You are my god! Epiphylums too! I’ve been growing them since 1977 and only in the last four have I had any success in getting them to bloom. In the winter I keep them in an I an in-heated room in front of a West window. They go on the screened-in porch as early in spring as possible. My favorite is a hybrid called William Clark. Yellow flowers with brown-ish outer petals. The fragrance is intoxicating. I couldn’t attach a picture now but I’ll try again later.

    • Jwmvh
  • ceeenbee

    Do we reall need to listen to the unhinged rantings of a sex doll model? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c64365a48e3273c3f47bd6f9d03565c7c6cd74dec24d34d767fa5f0cd245beb.jpg

    • Boreal

      Is that a sex doll for the blind?

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        Which one?

        • Boreal

          Yes.

      • Stogiebear

        No, that’s Todd Starnes.

        • Boreal

          lol

  • SammySeattle

    Isn’t “being triggered” a description of Mr. Starnes’ position at Fox News?.

    • R W C

      I’ve wondered if Fox News intentionally switches out his meds to make him more easily triggered!

  • Gustav2

    Remember when they were putting names on the labels?

    There was never a Coke for me….

  • William

    Todd will never teach the world to sing.

    • jmax

      Does yodeling with a mouthful of piss count?

      • Silver Badger

        Only as a bad mind picture. EWWWWWWwwwwwwww

  • Butch

    You might try telling your children the truth: that these are people as deserving of respect and dignity as anyone else. I know that would be hard.

  • ta2t2o

    There’s a high probability that parents will have to explain to their kids how in 2018, bigots and homophobes like Todd Starnes who are more wrapped up in what other people call themselves than about what psychological issue has him so damaged that something like this triggers him everytime he sees it.

    I have a far easier time explaining trans and gay people to a kid than I do explaining this irrational fear and hate coming from someone like Todd Starnes against people he doesn’t know and has likely never met.

  • David

    Speaking of non-gendered persons, can you say Todd Starnes?

  • Richard B

    What a great commercial celebrating diversity.
    America is indeed a diverse nation and that is her core strength.
    When I was growing up, we used to say with pride that America was called the world’s melting pot.
    You don’t hear that much anymore since the angry white men have taken over.
    When uptight white boy Todd Starnes underwear is in a bunch, you know something good must have happened.

  • Stogiebear

    Poor Todd. Seventy-two genders and not one of them applies to him.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      “it” seems fine.

  • Silver Badger

    OT: Just got back from the Dr. and was certified for another 50,000 miles, as long as I remember just how old the engine is. Not too bad for someone who has been HIV+ for well over 30 years. I guess being the beta tester for all those meds paid off. Next time I’m not going to donate my body to science until after I’m done with it.

    • TuuxKabin

      Good news. Stay strong. Try not to stress, and keep on doing what you’re doing.

      • Silver Badger

        Sage advice for all of us. Thank you.

        • TuuxKabin

          Sage. Our dog in Mexico. Still alive. Her Vet and his wife, also a vet took her in as a pet for their toddler. Now she’s a nanny and having a real good life.

    • RaygunsGoZap

      Congrats! I turned 48 today and am officially 15 years older than my Will Die By Date I got at my HIV diagnosis.

    • Gretchen

      Glad to hear you are doing well. That’s wonderful news.

    • PickyPecker

      YAYAY! The Badger will be around to badger us for a while longer, yet! 🙂

    • Lars Littlefield

      So, does that mean you’re ready to go hang gliding or maybe do a little base jumping? 😀

      • Silver Badger

        Probably not. Perhaps I’ll run for President. I couldn’t be worse than what we have now.

    • Kruhn

      Congrats! And thank you for your service.

  • Dunkerblinker

    I missed anything offensive about that ad even when wearing my alt right crazy appearing glasses.

  • Um–just because I train the Washington State Department of Social and Heath Services social workers on Queer topics–and I was part of the group in the 1990s that came up with the term “Two-Spirit” (the original “working term” was “Two-Spirited,” but that was modified because some Natives felt it was “too historical” sounding, rather than representing something current) does not automatically require a personal pronoun of “they/them.” It depends on the individual. Personally, I’ve never met another Native person who uses “they/them.” Doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there who does.

    One year, when I was asked to keynote a True Spirit Conference in DC (True Spirit doesn’t really have a connection to Two-Spirit–it’s aimed at Transmen), the registration form had 28 gender categories (that included, e.g., “gurl-boi”) and a blank category, in case you didn’t identify with the 28 offered terms. It was also the first conference I had attended that also had an Inter-Sex person keynote as well.

    • JCF

      “One year, when I was asked to keynote a True Spirit Conference in DC
      (True Spirit doesn’t really have a connection to Two-Spirit–it’s aimed
      at Transmen)”

      Heh, what year? I was there in 1999! [I’m afraid I don’t remember the keynote speaker—I was pretty much in an “I’m finally among My People HIGH” all weekend. 😉 ]

      • It was well over a decade ago. I’m glad you had such a great time 🙂

  • andrew

    Good moms and Dads know how to talk with their children about real life and don’t need any advice from a bigot like Starnes.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Everyone is a “them.” Especially when being lumped together as some sort of apparent lesser people by Republicans.

  • hdtex
  • Mark Abbott

    I’m old. I get it. I grew up in a different environment. Which is why I don’t see why all these old-fashioned “conservatives” whining for the good old days (which only existed on TV) can’t understand the concepts of kindness, patience, & tolerance. It’s not “political correctness”. It’s being a good neighbor, friend or family member to someone who is not 100% like you. Basically, it’s not being an asshole to others just because you think you’re superior. Yeah, that ad was a little heavy on the messaging but, I look around and realize we need constant reminders. Nice job Coca-Cola.

  • skyweaver

    Have you ever noticed the *only* people who say “what do we tell the children” are the ones who have trouble telling their children anything anyway?

  • Mark

    Oh, noes! Toodles got triggered again. #sad

  • HZ81

    Explaining gender fluidity sure sounds easier than explaining that God fucked a teen girl and had an out of wedlock baby called Jesus who was magical!!

    But that’s me.

  • SelectFromWhere

    Geez, I saw that commercial and it went by so fast, I didn’t even catch it. Thanks for giving the ad 1 trillion times more attention than it would have gotten before, Todd!

  • I like how he is all concerned about tolerance and acceptance by Coca Cola, but has no qualms about their spreading of diabetes, (Which I believe he has, given he has some huge health problems like heart by pass surgery)

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    Oh for fucks sake, it’s being inclusive and reaching new audiences. Note that there’s also not many old farts. I can say that: I am an old fart. The ad is targeted to youth. And guess what Todd, you piece of shit, the youngun’s don’t care if they call their friend them. They can’t quite why see you are so upset when they do. And they’re going to outlive you. You can protest from the grave. Like now, no-one will hear you.

  • Barry William Teske

    Todd Starnes.
    So lost in his HATE for self.

  • William of Glynn

    Relax, Toddles, and have a Coke.

  • JackNasty

    Without inflammatory attacks from bigots like Todd Starnes, I doubt many people would pay attention to the unusual use of pronouns promulgated by some transactivists. Using the word them as a singular pronoun doesn’t seem to be catching on with the public at large.

  • Nate

    Aww that fat piece of shit blocked me.

  • Priya Lynn

    I must be missing something, I didn’t see anything in that commercial that referred to LGBT people.

    • coram nobis

      There was a dog trying to bogart the Coke at 0:06, which suggests something right there. Maybe the Coca-Cola company wants you to increase sales by sharing it with your best friend.

  • coram nobis

    Coca-Cola would simply like to increase its market share and peddle more sugary drinks. Simple capitalism at works.

    Say, Todd, if you want a really sinister agenda, why don’t you investigate the hidden meaning in the “I’d Like The World To Sing” lyrics and video?

  • Jefe5084

    Ugh. This tired, confused, delicate spam flake. Go away.

  • BobSF_94117

    The need for a paycheck is what triggers Todd Starnes.

  • AtticusP

    Once again I find myself regretting that Todd Starnes’ parents didn’t use birth control when it would have really made a difference.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Awwwww, did someone throw a hissy fit because Coke showed the world the way it is?

  • safari

    “Some people are different than you and express themselves in ways that is true to them. It isn’t weird, and you can keep on expressing yourself the way you are.”

    Not hard Todd.

  • misterjack

    Really, Todd, that vulgar shade of lipstick makes you look cheap.

  • -M-

    Starnes: Political correctness is expressing an opinion I don’t approve of.

  • kareemachan

    The question is what *doesn’t* trigger the turd stain?

  • Jack

    I remember when interracial couples were verboten on TV and in ads. Why? They were disgusting. Unnatural. And they invited cries for boycotting.

    It’s great when companies don’t care about bottom line correctness. And if a few heads explode because of it, so much the better.

    • FelineMama

      Amen, Jack. I am so grateful when these advertisers join the 21st century. Not only because of the fairness & Right to include EVERYONE, but, how it pisses off the haters! And like your mention of the interracial couples, merchandisers forged ahead. It took a while but it happened. Every time a commercial comes on & there are shouts of boycotts I make it a priority to go out and BUY, BUY, BUY!!!!! We are a “Pepsi family” but, I’ll go buy some Coke products tomorrow.

  • fuzzybits
  • April

    He is upset because they didn’t include “urine enthusiast”…

  • Halou

    Why does he care?
    Also teaching children to respect others is not awkward, or complicated, and it certainly isn’t immoral.

  • JCF

    Beautiful ad—damn, I may have to switch from Diet Pepsi now…

  • anne marie in philly

    ah shaddap, you fat ugly white GOPrick!
    I’d rather have 10 LGBTQIA+ friends than 1 GOPrick friend!

  • RemusL

    Hey Todd… how about warning parents about the dangers of drinking Coke? That seems like a more worthwhile endeavour.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4381576/Do-REALLY-know-Coke-does-you.html

  • Jay Phelps

    If it makes Todd Starnes irritable, I’m all for it! Big weasel baby.