Pastor Bad Wig: God Killed Antonin Scalia To Wake Up America On How Much They Needed Trump [VIDEO]

“Look how brilliant God is. The Lord controls life and death. It’s possible that if Antonin Scalia had lived, the urgency to support this president and his nominations might not have been so strong. You might have had Hillary Clinton in the White House and you might have had maybe three appointments made during the next four years, during the next three years, who knows? Two appointments for sure – we already got one.

“You could have had Clinton making the appointments and then the balance of power would have overpowered a Scalia vote on the Supreme Court. All that I’m saying is we don’t always see the long-term picture, but it could be that the Lord in His infinite insight saw that Scalia, him being a loss, might be the event that motivated the majority of people to show up.

“I think that Trump is that important and Hillary Clinton would have been that disastrous that it’s a major game of chess going on in the spirit realm over how things happen.” – Jim Bakker Show regular Lance Wallnau, in a video posted last night to Facebook.

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • Cuberly Deux

      “Laugh! It’s funny!”

      (My favorite line of his when he got a groan from the audience.)

  • bkmn

    No, Scalia died because he was a toxic, bitter old man.

  • mikemmiv
  • another_steve

    I just checked. Scalia is still dead. Very dead. Like, totally dead.

    Jerry Falwell too.

    (Also, Jesse Helms.)

    • coram nobis

      It’s God swill, according to this Pastor Walnut.

      • David Walker

        To go along with the Bakker Bilge.

    • Paula

      That’s good to know.

    • SkokieGuy
      • another_steve

        Lol. Thanks. 😉

        I want me some Nun’s Fart!

        • Uncle Mark

          Ask your Catholic hubby how he feels about nun’s farts. If he was raised like me, he’ll claim to have had his fill of ’em

          • another_steve

            My hubby was blessed. He attended Jesuit-run schools, right up to Georgetown University here in D.C. As you probably know, the Jesuits are at the forefront of socially progressive Catholicism.

            We were saddened to have recently learned that one of the nuns who taught him way back when recently passed at age 98.

            Girlfriend and he had stayed in touch these many decades.

        • SkokieGuy

          I just wish I could remember the word. How useful to have that as part of my cursing vocabulary.

      • Uncle Mark

        I keep envisioning East Berliner, Deter (Mike Myers) from SNL’s “Sprockets” coming up with these names, like “Eat my monkey.” (I’ll never look at the old family dishes the same way again.)

        • SkokieGuy

          Yes! I hear the names in his voice.

      • William

        I’ve had Hackepeter.

        • SkokieGuy


          • William

            I survived. It wasn’t my choice for breakfast. Since then I’ve also tried Mett. It’s similar to Hackepeter. Every region of Germany has its own raw meat specialty.

          • SkokieGuy

            I’ve had carpaccio, the Italian raw meat dish. It’s okay, but nothing I’d ever order by choice.

          • William

            I knew a guy here in Texas who liked to make something like Mett at home. He died from a massive case of e Coli. German butchers have a much higher standard of cleanliness and there are government standards concerning raw meat.
            The stuff in US supermarkets should be cooked until it chars.

    • Uncle Mark

      If only we had a gif of Tinky Winky dancing on Falwell’s grave

  • HZ81

    But I thought Ex-President Blackula kilt him!?

  • boobert

    scalia died from whatever funny business was going on at that secret ranch in texas.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Because this song always makes me happy anyway.

  • Paula

    Is he still dead?

    • KarenAtFOH

      Yes, thank God.

    • another_steve

      Yes. His skull is kinda crooked in his grave. At a 45 degree angle from his body.

      And there are maggots working his remains, though they’re just about finished with him.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        I presume he’s been embalmed, so he’s likely not skeletonized quite yet. When embalmed bodies were exhumed years later, many were mummified.

    • William
  • crewman

    People who are mentally ill see purpose and pattern in random events, and labor to find meaning (often bizarre and paranoid) through the association of unrelated data points.

    For a different reason but with a similar outcome, con artists exploit gullible people looking for easy answers that tell them what they want to hear by telling them unconnected events add up to the conclusion that benefits them.

    This guy is probably more strongly in the con artist category.

  • David L. Caster

    Proof positive that these grifters will say anything.

  • Achilles Tsakiridis

    Wait i thought Scalia was murdered by the deep state sassy ladies …

  • Ninja0980

    Put it bluntly, Scalia fucked us all over one last time by dying when he did.
    I truly believe the election outcome would have been different if not for this SCOTUS seat.

    • leastyebejudged

      Yeah, that one thing would have made all the difference.

      Put down the crackpipe, the system is rigged, the person they intended to win all along won.

  • JWC

    I don’t agree with this asshole I do , however .believe that Judge Scalia’s death warrants further investigation Its just too spooky A creepy clandestine association a secludes lodge with almost cult like members His death , little info a quick removal little info from official reports .. I’m just sayin

    • William

      Scalia died while in bed with a hooker. That was the coverup.

      • Uncle Mark

        And even some folks on the Right agree with that story, although they will add that the hooker was a DNC/Hillary assassin. (So much for those “family values.”)

        • William

          It was a hooker brought in from Mexico.

      • JWC

        One thot Another thot The military industrial complex need a more favorable member on the supreme court

    • And don’t forget about the massive congressional conspiracy to block the president from filling the vacancy. That’s definitely a part of it.

      • William

        Being declared dead, by a Justice of the Peace, over the phone, that’s not how it normally works here.

        • Margie

          Curious, do you live in the Marfa/Shafter area? I used to live in Marfa so Judge Scalia’s death caught my attention. Would not surprise me if he was being entertained by a hooker from Mexico. But reports said he was quail hunting the day before he died. My ex-husband used to take wealthy businessmen on deer hunting trips and he said that a few of them were too out of shape to keep up. Scalia was not healthy so maybe he did die of natural causes.?

          • William

            I live in the middle of the state near Austin. I have been to Marfa and Alpine and have plenty of relatives out in the Midland area.
            In a small town, when there is anything that will make national news, every local official and law enforcement are sure to be involved. Scalia’s death was not handled in the normal manner and seemed way too quiet of an event.

          • Margie

            William, thank you for your reply.

      • JWC

        I firmly believe there was a lot more to it and it was smoothly covered up It warrants an investigation

  • leastyebejudged

    This failed hairdresser, AGAIN, lol.

  • Michael R
  • AtticusP
  • Uncle Mark

    Perhaps, if Mr “Family Values” Scalia stayed home and celebrated Valentines Day with his wife of 50+ years, instead of going out to a hunting ranch to not do any hunting, but spend the evening under a hooker, Gawd might not have felt it necessary to give him a fucking heart attack as punishment for his infidelity, hypocrisy, and his gluttony.

    At least that’s what Gawd told me. He also told me that your bad wig is made from clown pubic hair and we laugh about you a lot.

  • Bambino

    I guess he is running out of bodies to use and abuse now he is resurrecting the dead.

  • Harveyrabbit

    Not only that but jesus used one of his own pillows to smother him. That’s some serious symbolism shit right there.

  • Jmdintpa

    Listen yall laugh if you want to but i heared this man myself last year at our churches tent revival and he is full of the word. the lord spoke to me and he fired up the crowd like no other. i was so taken by the whole service i woke up the next day in the next county over in the ditch with my pants down around my ankles. PRAISE HIS NAME

    • Treant

      Was there at least a really hot saved guy attached to your downspout?

  • Cuberly Deux

    “…it’s a major game of chess going on in the spirit realm over how things happen.”

    The omnipotent being, with power over everything, is playing chess with…….who or what exactly? Satan? Which is always a bizarre notion because if god created everything he would have also have had to create satan. Wouldn’t god know what is bound to happen anyway because he’s all knowing? Doesn’t he know everything before it happens because it’s part of his grand plan? Does time move at the same pace for god as it does for us down here?

    If southern white male jebus god plays chess I guess that accounts for his bobby fischer styled antisemitism…

    So many questions….

  • Nic Peterson

    Scalia demonstrated in death that only the good die young.

  • ted-

    So, it doesn’t pay to worship this fake god, as it kills you to get something else done that he could have easily done without killing you in the first place.

    OR this fake god is so weak that needs to sacrifice someone in order to get something accomplished.

    Hmmm… I’d rather worship Thor. That one is at least sexy as hell!

  • William

    Scalia was murdered by a hotel pillow that couldn’t take it anymore.

  • lymis

    Scalia died during the Obama administration, and by all the rules of our country, it was Obama’s to appoint his successor. If it weren’t for McTurtle doing one of the most scandalous abdications of his duties and getting away with it, We’d have Justice Garland, not Justice Gorsuch.

    If God had anything to do with it, it was to allow Obama to appoint someone sane before Trump took office, not to guarantee Trump got to appoint him.

    Unless you believe that God “hardened McConnell’s heart” or some such further idiocy. I doubt that McConnell had any reasonable expectation Trump would win, either. Or if he did, I hope Mueller is looking into why.

    • Tor

      I wonder, if Clinton had become President, whether we would even have a new justice by now.

      • MonochromeMouse

        Probably not, they would have made up some bullshit about not being appropriate to appoint a justice while under FBI investigation, and you know the republicans would have started some other bullshit “investigation” into how none of their other bullshit investigations into Hillary turned up anything.

        • William

          They would be investigating reports of Hillary cheating at jacks in the second grade.

  • eddiebeskeddie

    I am so sadden that so many of you JMG readers are so doubtful. It just very well “could be”. You are absolutely right Dr. Lance – as you say: it could be. It could be one day you might find yourself walking down the street and suddenly trip over your own brain. But then… you would have to be pretty clumsy to trip over something that small. It could be.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Treant

      Oh. Well, that explains a few things.

      I didn’t even watch the damned SOTU address and I disapproved on principle.

      But I’m white, male, Democratic, and middle-aged. They’d never bother asking me.

    • The_Wretched

      Skewed samples yield skewed results. On the positive side, only 48% good rating even with a pro-Trump bias in the sample.

      • Absolutely. Brushing through the data, there are a few interesting things. It’s just frustrating how it’s being presented.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      That’s essentially CBS’s viewership.

    • Fart noise.

      Why did they even publish this? There is an appropriate way to us this info, but it’s not to pass it off as a survey of the general public.

    • boatboy_srq

      So, old white male fascists love Lord Dampnut. This is surprising?

      Did they not survey any other groups because they couldn’t figure out how to apply the proper 3/5 weight to the numbers?

  • Cuberly Deux

    OT: Sheesh, as if Gaetz couldn’t be any more repellant.

    “Florida (Congress)Man Invited Infamous Troll Chuck Johnson to Trump’s State of The Union”

    • Treant

      Ah, Florida (Congress)Man. Never change. You be you.

      • Cuberly Deux

        Lol….I never heard that stereotype about Florida till I hung around JMG.

        • Treant

          My very good friend’s husband is a Florida Man and he’s quite sweet. So it’s not universal, but… 🙂

    • Uncle Mark

      I just wish someone would light a match in front of Mr DWI’s 100 proof aura as a brief, but “explosively enlightening” rebuttal

  • Michael R
    • Uncle Mark

      Some people have the spirit move them. Looks like this spirit is about to have a whole movement on him

  • Friday’s_cat

    God works in cabana boy ways?

  • Blake J Butler
  • GanymedeRenard

    If Scalia died because gawd didn’t want Hillary to win, does that mean the Dems will win in November because gawd wants Reps to die? Is that how your deity’s brilliant logic works, Mr. Wallnau?

  • kareemachan

    So… gawd kills people for his own satisfaction. and the asshat’s.

    • Well, he’s done it before, on a much larger scale — cf. Sodom and Gomorrah, Noah and the Flood, etc.

  • Down in hell, day after day, year after year, Scalia furiously scribbles down his scathing opinions and rulings, endlessly dipping his pen in an eternal fountain of disappearing ink.

    • boatboy_srq

      That’s a wonderfu- um, I mean most unChristian image.

  • Rex

    Now if God were to take Trump out – what would that mean?
    It’s what I’m praying for.

    • Uncle Mark

      But what if the devil has duped all of gawd’s followers-for-profit (or prophets for profit) into erecting one of those prayer shields around the Orange Beast by assuring them riches for protecting the Mango “Messiah?”

  • Uncle Mark

    So what you’re saying is that your gawd smited, not only an innocent man for political gain, but one of his own “family values” followers. Oh wait…..Scalia was Catholic, and you Evengelicals don’t consider Catholics as Christians, and are therefore doomed for hell, so Scalia was evil, even though y’all shared the same values. Your gawd is one murderous, justice-impaired, conflicted mess.

    And this is all part of some “divine plan?” Sounds like someone’s been winging it

    • -M-

      If “winging it” is slang for doing meth.

  • Macbill

    That’s cool your god is micro-managing the affairs of your country. But what if he’s the Devil? What if he took the judge to cause confusion and dispair leading us to Trump? Slippery Slope.

  • Uncle Mark

    Poor Lance just SUCKS at figuring out murder mysteries

  • Well, if God did kill Scalia, I think I can tell why Scalia got offed.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Just another wacko con-man trying to increase his bank account.

  • Halou

    But… Obama…

  • clay

    God killed Scalia? I’ll believe it when Texas charges God with a capital offence.

  • Ben in Oakland

    So god killed one of his most faithful assholes, I mean, servants in order to…

    Some god you have there.

  • Gianni

    If it wasn’t for their notions about God, these idiots wouldn’t ever be able to make such an easy living. God is the perfect foil for their lunacy. Sad that such inane blather is bought and paid for by gullible, needy people who can’t or won’t think for themselves, but need God and his spokesmen to direct their every thought, belief, and action. Truly sad and pathetic.

  • Richard

    Yep, that imaginary guy in the sky has nothing else to do but pick the good old US of A’s presidents…… It just doesn’t get any more insane than that !

  • Jon Doh

    If god is so brilliant, explain that thing on your head.

    • DoctorDJ

      It’s the nephew of The Thing on Trump’s head.

  • Sean Williams

    Wait a minute! So Hillary didn’t kill him? I can’t keep track of all the crazy! I need an app!