Trump Arrives At Hospital For First Physical Exam

The Washington Post reports:

President Trump’s personal physician once claimed he would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,” but there’s a good deal of evidence casting doubt on that idea.

Trump, who will undergo his first presidential physical exam Friday, is older than all previous presidents when they first took office. He is also the heaviest president in at least a generation and consumes a diet heavy with Big Macs, Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, fried chicken, pizza, well-done steak and two rounds of dessert.

He seems to get little exercise beyond swinging a golf club, as he spends most of his time on the course traveling in an electric cart. And he likes to brag about how little sleep he gets. The risks of such a health profile are well known: heart disease, strokes, diabetes and high blood pressure, to name a few.

The exam, which is not mandatory, will not include a psychological evaluation and the White House has refused to say if Trump will undergo any cognitive function testing. The results are expected to be discussed during Tuesday’s press briefing.

  • Tomcat

    Hope he is terminal.

    • TexasBoy

      In truth, we’re all terminal. It just takes some of us longer to die.

      • Tomcat

        Work with me here.

  • Michael R
  • William

    That used to be Bethesda Naval Hospital.

    • Tomcat

      still is.

      • William

        It’s all Walter Reed nowadays.

  • DisqusD37

    He’s found to be a 270 pound tumor.

  • HZ81

    I hope they give his shithole a good physical with a rolled up yoga mat or Thor’s hammer or fire.

    • BearEyes

      5 finger prostate exam

      • Tawreos

        Using the whole fist there Doc?

    • Boreal

      The doctor should wear gloves made from ghost peppers.

      • HZ81

        Yes!! I hope he rolls them in salt before inserting, too.

  • bkmn

    Do your duty Doctor, torture the traitor.

  • JAKvirginia

    Pity the poor soul who has to see that naked

  • TexasBoy

    I have no doubt the President is in decent physical health. His mental health, on the other hand…

    But they aren’t testing that.

    • lymis

      I think his physical condition is likely questionable, too.

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent
  • Lazycrockett
    • TexasBoy

      Do Not Recall = Yep, he said it.

      • Todd20036

        Especially since a democratic senator came on record as saying, “Yes, I was there. He said it.”

    • The_Wretched

      Yeah no. They aren’t getting to just elide this ‘gaff’.

      • Todd20036

        And they are trying SO hard.

        Trump was only commenting on the economics. Etc.

    • TexasBoy

      Wait, Senators Cotton and Perdue can’t recall what was said yesterday?

    • Cuberly Deux

      …Jeff Flake beat them to the punch. He said, after hearing about the comments from others in attendance…

      Plural. Not just from Durbin.

    • gaycuckhubby

      Fucking bullshit

    • JWC

      the general actions of the GOP in the last month garner no respect . To a man they have stood for greed and lies The have turned back on their principals the form a wall of feigned loyalty around the Orange shit Gibbon, Deny them any level of respectability the have shown they are not worthy

      • TampaDink

        It has been a great deal longer than the last month that the GOP’s actions garner no respect.

        • JWC

          It was at the time of the tax scam when many GOP who freely spoke out against Trump turned turtle and all, to a man. did the “hail Caesar” routine

    • ColdCountry

      Ya know, there is nothing so vulgar or outlandish that I could believe Dump would say or do it. Unfortunately, that also makes him and easy target for those who don’t mind “stretching” the truth to score points against him. I don’t think I believe anybody anymore, unless it’s on tape.

    • zhera

      ” imbalance in our current immigration system”

      Translation: Too many dark people, not enough white people.

  • Tomcat

    Such a shame, no psychological testing.

  • echoman2000

    Maybe they can pull an Andy Warhol?
    People die in the hospital all the time.

    • edrex

      and 15 minutes is a good start.

  • Boreal
    • Todd20036

      Trump is pissed. All those women, and he cannot grab any of their pussies.

      • JWC

        Todd Todd Todd they are all too old

      • kareemachan

        Did you hear about his questions to an intelligence expert who happens to be of Korean descent and a woman?

    • Uncle Mark

      “No fruit cup for you !!”

      • FAEN

        Like BLOTUS eats fruit.

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          If he did, he’d put ketchup on it.

          • FAEN

            HA! Touché my friend.

        • Snarkaholic

          Just that one time, when he accidentally(!) ingested the cherry on top of his hot fudge sundae.

    • Kissmagrits

      And those lovely coats are so much more presentable now that the Versace designers upgraded the fabric and started using some decent leather for the straps.

    • ted-

      I call it a coffin in which he needs to “visit”

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • JWC

      the similarities of insertion are not lost

      • The_Wretched

        Animal husbandry.

        • unclemike

          Until they catch you at it. (apologies to Tom Lehrer)

        • jerry

          Hey, that’s illegal in most states!

  • The_Wretched

    Before the Dr. shows up, the nurse / staff person pre-screens, “What the hell is wrong with you?”.

  • Tawreos

    I would think that with the amount of power that a president has it should be mandatory that we make sure they are healthy in all ways.

    • Tomcat

      And that they are not crooked? But alas it is not so.

    • Friday

      Honestly I’m *more* concerned with their brains than the rest. I mean, apart from of course Trump *blatantly lied* about that, too. WHich of itself ought to cast doubt on his psychological fitness, cause who did he think he was fooling?

    • The_Wretched

      There’s a national interest in having accurate health information about the president. It was a crime against the nation that they hid Ronny Reagan’s Alzheimers.

  • Bomer

    “The risks of such a health profile are well known: heart disease, strokes, diabetes and high blood pressure, to name a few.”

    I know which ones I’m hoping for.

    • Tomcat

      I vote for lead poisoning.

  • Cuberly Deux
  • Bluto
    • MT YVR

      Reminds me of one of the better zingers I heard recently.

      “If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb as high as your ego and jump down to your IQ level.”

      • ColdCountry

        Oh, that IS a good one!

      • iambu

        Oh that’s good! Gotta find an occasion to use that!

        • Cassondra

          G-o-ogle is paying $97 per hour,wi-t-h weekly pay-o-uts.You can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four w-e-eks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the most-comf-o-rtable job I have ever done .. It so-u-nds unbelie-v-able but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it!ye37n:➬➬➬ http://GoogleHomeGreenUpdateWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥r♥♥♥a♥s♥♥♥y♥♥♥b♥♥y♥♥b♥y♥♥♥g♥♥♥q♥♥j♥p♥♥t♥c♥l♥♥♥q♥♥♥r♥♥n♥l♥♥♥t♥♥g♥♥n♥♥n♥♥♥a♥♥♥k:::::!jw261x:weiya

    • anne marie in philly

      I think his dick doesn’t exist! and his approval rating is smaller!

      • Bluto

        But his button is bigger!

        • anne marie in philly

          so he SAYS…the LIAR!

  • JaniceInToronto

    Hopefully they’ll do a colonoscopy with a rusty hangar and an Instamatic®.

    • Lazycrockett

      Chainsaw.

      • Bomer

        One of those low yield nukes the Pentagon wants.

  • Coprolite

    Maybe they can implant a new brain while they are there. At least remove his head from his ass.

  • Denis

    If you don’t care about anyone but yourself and any problem you create is someone else’s fault you can avoid a great deal of stress. His BP and vitals are probably normal. However, don’t doctors usually administer the dementia test when a patient is over 70? No way he could pass it.

  • Mike C

    With that Mueller interview coming he should have stopped by here first: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ef74ecdd10dd8d49a6350bd1c41cb61bb8a41b10d8882c94224de31c49e67ff.jpg

  • sfjohn

    in a padded room??

  • Uncle Mark

    Will a patriotic doctor just kill Trump by putting him on a treadmill for 10 minutes?

  • Achilles Tsakiridis

    “He seems to get little exercise beyond swinging a golf club, as he spends most of his time on the course traveling in an electric cart. And he likes to brag about how little sleep he gets. The risks of such a health profile are well known: heart disease, strokes, diabetes and high blood pressure, to name a few.” — My new daily prayer ……

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      heart disease, strokes, diabetes and high blood pressure, to name a few.

      Never thought I would hope for these things….but I am.

    • jerry
      • Todd20036

        Yup, eating well done steaks does contain more carcinogens, but I’d say that so does the crap he eats in general.

        Not exercising seals the deal. He’s ripe for colon cancer.

        • TampaDink

          May he be riddled with it….and may the medical records indicate that he will eventually die when his colon cancer spreads to his brain, due to the close proximity.

  • coram nobis

    Bethesda! Not St. Elizabeth’s?

    • JWC

      I thot Walter Reed

      • William

        They closed down the old Walter Reed and relocated everything to Bethesda and renamed it Walter Reed.

        • JWC

          ah Gotcha

    • JAKvirginia

      St. E’s is closed. I thot.

    • Tomcat

      If he will die there today we will name it trumps last place of residence.

      • Tawreos

        That’s nicer than the name I would pick for it “Ding Dong The Dick Is Gone Hospital”.

        • Tomcat

          I like yours better.

      • coram nobis

        They didn’t rename the Palace Hotel in San Francisco even though that’s where Warren G. Harding checked out.

        • Tomcat

          Was Harding as hated as Trump?

          • coram nobis

            No, he had the good sense to die before Teapot Dome hit and the indictments came in.

        • Tomcat

          Is the Palace Hotel the one that was in the TV series Hotel?

    • Smokey

      Too bad, John Hinckley would have liked to have met tRump. /s
      (Yes, I know he was released two years ago and most of the campus is now unused.)

  • another_steve

    X-rays will reveal an embedded KKK hood in his cranium.

    • JAKvirginia

      And the chip on his shoulder?

      • coram nobis

        Better than the auto mechanic who was admitted with a wrench in his back.

        • JAKvirginia

          And no polyps from trollops.

      • JAKvirginia

        Hope they check on those bone spurs, too.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Goddam disqus I am fucking logged in you idiotic piece-of-shit machine

      • another_steve

        Sometimes I think it’s just that Disqus loves me so much and is saying to me, “Hiya babe. Love ya. Give daddy a click and tell him you love him too.”

  • JWC

    How many vehicles were in the motorcade to ferry the fat Shitgibbon

  • Uncle Mark

    Can I hope that the physician examining the shitgibbon is from one of those “shithole” countries?

    • ColdCountry

      Wouldn’t that be wonderful? And if he demands a different doctor, well, it’s not like we don’t know he’s a racist, but it would be sweet to hear him try to spin it.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Heh…

    “Jeff Bezos contributes $33 million to Dreamers scholarship program”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/jeff-bezos-contributes-33-million-to-dreamers-scholarship-program/

    • that’s great!
      but, can he afford it?

  • coram nobis

    Call in the brain specialist!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyFfmGf3b2Y

    • Cuberly Deux

      “Myyyy braaaain huuuurts.”

      • Bomer

        “Mr. President, his finger is in the other end.”

    • Phillip in L.A.

      “there’s a piece of brain lodged in my skull”

  • safari
    • Cuberly Deux

      Ha!

    • Strepsi

      Medication time. It’s medication time.

  • ETownCanuck

    If I were of the same character as the President, I would say “Please find Cancer. Preferably a drawn out, painful one which makes him have to shit in a bag.” But I’m not of that character so I won’t…..

  • Slippy_World
  • edrex

    but cognitive tests usually include softball questions: can you tell me who the president is? what is your address?

  • bkmn

    Does Walter Reed have a scale that can handle that much weight?

    • Bomer

      They borrowed one of those big ones they use to weigh semis.

    • Lazycrockett

      There is a truck scale just up the road I think.

    • pch1013

      Here’s one – apparently they’re useful for weighing barrels of toxic goo.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/da1a332c24364fddeaed4aba15e438cab9b1b68540ebb634e2b45f3f51953a76.jpg

    • RoFaWh

      You may think it’s funny, but weighing very obese people is an issue. I believe that truck scales have been used in a few instances, as Lazycrockett suggested some time ago.

      • bkmn

        I’ve worked in multiple hospitals and know that it is an issue in dealing with the morbidly obese since many decisions are based on a patient’s weight.

  • JWC

    As I said yesterday this will have one of two outcomes 1) he is Fine or 2) he isn’t and we will never know.its another case of what is NOT said is as important as to what is

    • Lazycrockett

      I’m hoping the administration plays up that something is wrong and he resigns over health issues to avoid Mueller. Then Pence will pardon him.

      • JWC

        that,my friend is not out of the realm of possibilities It also means the GOP does not j have to grow a set of balls

      • thatotherjean

        Pence can’t pardon him for crimes in New York State, though–money laundering, tax fraud. . .

        • Lazycrockett

          Drumpf and his lawyers most likely don’t know that.

  • Tawreos

    He better hope the doctor doesn’t have a conscience since Trump wants to take away the ability for people to get affordable checkups.

  • Lindoro Almaviva

    The risks of such a health profile are well known: heart disease, strokes, diabetes and high blood pressure, to name a few.

    and yet….

  • Do Something Nice

    Fun game on the Guardian:

    “Can you match the Donald Trump insult to the country he insulted?”

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jan/12/can-you-match-donald-trump-insult-country-insulted?CMP=fb_gu

  • Taylor Bixler
  • Smokey
    • Todd20036

      Any one of them would make a better President.

      They’re no dumber, and they actually want to do the right thing.

    • boobert

      Dr Howard, Dr Fine , Dr Howard !

      • Craig Howell

        Dewey, Cheatum & Howe.

  • Rex

    I’ll be surprised if they can find a heart.

    • Tomcat

      They had to install one in Chaney.

      • iambu

        I don’t think it took.

  • Frostbite

    We’ll see the results as soon as we see his taxes.

  • iambu

    WHAD’YA MEAN I GOTTA WAIT ‘TIL TUESDAY????

  • Tomcat

    A good case of brain cancer would be very fitting for him.

    • pch1013

      Cancer can’t grow in a vacuum.

  • Bambino

    Did Murdoch gather all his employees in front of a giant screen live from the hospital and ready to kiss the shit hole’s ass yet?

  • Piet

    The results may well be discussed but do we expect anything even close to the truth from him or his spokespersons?

    • lymis

      I expect tweets about fake doctors.

    • RoFaWh

      Just use the rule: everything Trump says is a lie, and interpret everything said as meaning the exact opposite.

      Thus, “I am in perfect health” means Trump is at death’s door.

  • Natty Enquirer
  • Tawreos

    Trump says he has a good relationship with Kim Jong Un. That should be enough to prove mental incapacity.

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/report-trump-suggests-positive-relationship-nk-leader-220542017–politics.html

    • The_Wretched

      “We tweet back and forth. It’s a relationship.”

    • Lizard

      When they’re not threatening to blow each other up?

      • BobSF_94117

        Whenever either one needs to gain some cred with his peeps, he calls up the other one and asks who should go bat-shit first this time.

  • Tomcat

    Since there is NO mental evaluation, the whole thing is mute to me.
    I know where his deficiency lies and it in between his ears.

    • Lizard

      I’d settle for high stroke probability.

      • Tomcat

        That is Mueller’s job to provide.

    • The_Wretched

      moot

      • Natty Enquirer

        troo

  • Rex

    Do you think he’s ever had a real physical exam in his life?

    • RoFaWh

      Maybe when he was much younger, but guys the 18-30 age bracket (say) rarely think about getting an annual physical. It’s only as one is sinking into the grave inch by inch that physicals are much thought about.

  • Lizard

    A moment of silence for the poor physicians and nurses who have to deal with Donald Trump.

    • RoFaWh

      They may just give him a tranquillizer.

  • gaycuckhubby

    I wish we wouldn’t do this.
    We’re over blowing a minor issue and giving Trump a chance to say “see how unhinged liberals are. They are selling conspiracy theories, my physical is fine.”

    • The_Wretched

      The UN and multiple foreign nations have weighed in. That’s not a liberal plot. That’s not a minor issue. There will be repercussions.

      • Bambino

        Haven’t you heard? Those shit hole countries do not count.

      • gaycuckhubby

        The UN and foreign Nations have weighed in on his physical health?

        • The_Wretched

          We’re not talking about the ‘shitholes’?

          • gaycuckhubby

            Nah. I was talking about us livestreaming his physical 🙂

    • Natty Enquirer

      That’s true. They will make up some slight imperfection just to keep it from from being ridiculously 100 percent. Otherwise all lies.

    • Bambino

      I’m fine if he wants to cover up his terminal illness. No spinning and bullshitting is going to stop his body from being ravage by the disease.

    • Lizard

      I don’t think we would if he hadn’t so obviously lied about it in the past.

      • gaycuckhubby

        I know. I just think we fell for a setup

  • Blake J Butler
  • Bambino

    Let’s not disappoint Nurse Ratched. She’s been looking forward to a new challenge. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/008f4f08ca5238a6a977114675d412dd0e2569901ed6680f0b75c9bf6b83bbfc.jpg

  • Blake Mason

    Syphilis…

  • “We did all we could… but we just couldn’t locate his penis.”

    • Tomcat

      Or heart or brain.

      • Natty Enquirer

        It’s undifferentiated tissue.

    • Tomcat

      You need Grahams help to do that.

    • JWC

      Mellie said “see i was right. I couldn’t either”

  • Hue-Man
    • lymis

      How about Doctor Who? Plenty of familiarity with non-human lifeforms.

    • JohnJay

      The gay coroner from Major Crimes?

      • Hue-Man

        (Tribe member) Jonathan Del Arco.

  • Tawreos

    I suppose it is too late to take him to Briarcliff and let Dr Arden treat him?

    • Megrim Twist
      • Phillip in L.A.

        “More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.”

        –Ste Thérèse, as quoted by Truman Capote, Answered Prayers (New American Library, 1987)

        • ColdCountry

          Oh, I don’t think so. They just deny that what happened was “God’s will.” Like when Obama was elected. Twice.

    • jimbo65

      Yeah. I guess Dr. Arden can finally laugh at someone who has a smaller peen than he does.

  • Megrim Twist

    Pity that poor physician and the poor finger of the glove that has to go up his fat ass and check his prostate. U G H

    OMG I’m nauseous.

    • Bride of Trump

      Donny’s ass is so big the Doc will be in up to his elbow.

      • RoFaWh

        Only up to his elbow? Piker.

    • lattebud

      “Stephen Miller to exam room 1 please”

  • Silver Badger

    The only humane thing to do would be to put him out of his misery. He can’t want to go on in the state he is in.

    • jerry

      And out of our misery.

  • FAEN

    Wonder how he’ll blame Obama for having goop for blood.

  • ColdCountry

    Doesn’t matter what the results are – he’ll lie.

    • jimbo65

      Exactly. Or more to the point the Borg queen Sanders will lie

      • FAEN

        To paraphrase ‘Star Wars’-isn’t she a little fat to be a Borg Queen?

        • jimbo65

          Hey they’re equal opportunity assimilationists. Unlike the USA. But yeah they’ve lowered their standards

      • Marty Pavelka

        She does NOT bring order to chaos. 😉

    • FAEN

      He’ll lie? I’m shocked! Ok I can’t keep a straight face typing that 😅😅

    • lymis

      Apparently, Walter Reed expects him to, and his physician has scheduled a press conference to deliver the results to the press himself.

      • kareemachan

        Really? What about doctor-patient confidentiality?

  • AJD

    Make sure his shithole gets a full probing. Or is that at his dental appointment?

  • JT

    Do they have a psychiatric intensive care unit?

  • jimbo65

    Maybe there will be a nice doctor of Haitian descent that will be doing the exam.

  • Blake Mason

    Would the doctor have a duty to disclose the results of the physical if it were in the best interest of the nation… what if he did find something the late stages of Alzheimers from a brain scan… or as mentioned before… syphilis. Do they remain silent?

    • Megrim Twist

      I do believe I heard Joy explain that the doctor has no duty to disclose any results. That’s completely up to the administration. So, we’ll never know. He could have terminal cancer and we would never know.

      • TampaDink

        If he has terminal cancer, we’ll know eventually, when he finally assumes room temperature.

        • Megrim Twist

          And oh, what a glorious, glorious day it will be!

    • JWC

      That is an interesting question. Trump and the GOP would say NO. To the average patient, let them suffer at home or with medical help. With a president making decisions affecting the country and world. Whole different ballgame

    • lymis
  • Michael R

    ” It’s interesting , but it still doesn’t explain his behavior ”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1673ef36845f8c31cf6fa247c5f549ad5546fa2b9edbaad807d5b2a71387fdfe.jpg

  • Lazycrockett
    • RoFaWh

      Needs more belly; lots more belly.

  • boobert

    I think they really will find something because he wants to leave anyway. His bone spurs will keep him from serving , like they did before. But, we’ll still get to here his ignorant thoughts till he croaks.

  • Bambino

    The entire shit hole administration will be in for a special surgery. This is dotard way of shutting down future leak.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54dda92907da122a21cd431749e892014e9f674c347cd129fecbcf2e1c66903a.gif

  • so, my dad was a total liberal. from day one. the stories i could tell you. he was a wonderful man in so many ways. but… other than that? just like the traitor.

    i took care of him at the end of his life. he had all these bad habits. “exercise” was swinging a club. his doctors put him on drugs so he wouldn’t forget where he was. he couldn’t remember anything. he spent a lot of time on blogs and looking at porn, cause he loved internet technology. i had to hide his wallet so he wouldn’t go the McD’s twice a day for a McMuffin and later a Big Mac. and he would get really pissy if i told him to do anything that was better for his health. “you’re not the Boss of me, dammit girl!” etc.

    my dad died just a little while ago and of course i’m sadder than any sad thing can be, cause i loved him so much. but when i look at the Traitor? that’s what i see. a guy who doesn’t even know that he’s right on the edge. of death. let us all use our powers of thoughts and prayers to hope i’m wrong in every way, and our president will live Forever. or, something.

    • nocadrummer

      Sorry to hear about your father. I lost mine ~1 1/2 years ago. Today would have been his 92nd birthday.
      (Thanks for reminding me.)

      • my father was a Great Man. he founded the Free Legal Aid clinic when he was a law student, in Detroit. he put away about ~1000 hillbilly incest types when he was a judge in the backwater where i grew up. he integrated two country clubs so me and my sisters and lifegiver could play. he raised a lot of money for my cousin, who went on to be Mayor of Detroit and good buddy of Bill Clinton. he worked with environmentalists in our small town, to preserve the maple sapping forests there. he came to almost all of my track meets and volleyball games, even tho we were mostly Losers (not me, but team wise). he told me it’s hard to be a lesbian, and loved me anyway, when i came out to him. he taught me about golf. he invented a computer thing i don’t understand, but back in the day, it was impressive. he took in alcoholics and drug users who were trying to reform via AA, and rented our back house to them for really cheap. he cashed in his financial thingee i can’t remember the word for, so that i wouldn’t starve, when my ex had forced me to declare bankruptcy. he gave away about a million dollars worth of property he owned, to the Canadian government, so they could turn it into a wildlife preserve.

        i miss him so much. but i’m glad he’s not alive right now. it would kill him all over again, to observe what the traitor is doing.

        • JAKvirginia

          From what you’ve said, know that your father lived the life he wanted to live. There can be no greater blessing than that. Treasure all that he gave you and he will always be with you. Hugs.

      • TampaDink

        (((((nocadrummer)))))

      • JCF

        Am so grateful—MOST of the the time! ;-/ —to still have mine (even though caring for him can sometimes be a grind).

    • TampaDink

      (((((C.D.)))))

    • BearEyes

      Big bear hugs to you, CD.

  • lymis

    The doctor apparently expects the White House to be unreliable, and will present the results himself:
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2018/01/11/trump-his-upcoming-physical-think-its-going-go-very-well/1025499001/

  • Mom

    I hope the shithole president gets his shithole checked and they are not gentle about it.

  • anne marie in philly

    imagine having to touch that massive mound of orange rotting flesh…(shudder)

    • Bambino
      • anne marie in philly

        triple gloved and double gowned, I hope. I also hope the MD doesn’t need a silkwood shower after the ordeal.

        • Bambino

          Wonder someone will leak the images. (((Shudder)))

          • anne marie in philly

            ew ew ew! inconceivable!

      • RoFaWh

        I am reminded of Gerald Durrell’s discovery and dissection of a very dead, very stinky hawksbill turtle, in his Birds, Beasts, and Relatives.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Keep him for observation, indefinitely

  • ChrisInKansas

    FOR GOD’S SAKE, DON’T LET HIM OUT!!!

  • JWC

    I still think a 3 hour routine medical would pick up anything irregular in Trump. Given it may take 2 or 3 days for results and given the Dr may be duty bound not to divulge The Trump WH however is as leaky as a sieve so will it be too long there after

  • Ninja0980

    Went and got a flu shot.
    Did I miss anything good?

    • TampaDink

      Hopefully you’ll miss getting the flu.

  • boobert

    It’s a fake visit. You can’t do a real physical in one day. A stress test alone takes all day.

  • shellback
    • LesbianTippingHabits

      In New York, they were his doctors.

  • JWC

    the good thing about a 3 hour medical hehehe No fucking tweets for 3 hours

  • TampaZeke

    Unless they’re going to make a stop by Bellevue on the way back to the White House, this is a wasted trip.

  • jeffg166

    Maybe there will be a medical error. Or they’ll have him wait in the flu ward.

  • Dk

    the results will be known tuesday, from the mouth of colonel Sanders? I don’t think so. we’ll never know the true results

    • ChrisMorley

      The NYT posted the report online from President Obama’s last medical. It’s being conducted by the official White House Physician, a Navy colonel.
      Loads of detail here:

      https://www.vox.com/2018/1/11/16863254/trump-physical-exam-mental-health

      • LesbianTippingHabits

        Not a “Navy colonel.” Perhaps a Navy Captain.

        • licuado de platano

          Article says he’s a Rear Admiral.

          • LesbianTippingHabits

            Correct.

  • David
  • GanymedeRenard

    Oh, just spare us all the effort and just tell us he’s a giant turd wrapped in lard and bile. And that his mass isn’t irrigated by blood, but by putrid santorum.

  • Lakeview Bob

    Gosh that was a shock seeing that lead picture. My Dad died there in 1980 when it was still called the National Naval Medical Center.

    • JCF

      {{{Lakeview Bob}}}

  • I had an inexplicable craving for a Filet-O-Fish sandwich the other day and discovered how crazy expensive McDonald’s has gotten! For the price of two McDonald’s fish sandwiches you can get a loaf of bread, a packet of cheese and enough butter to make eight grilled cheese sandwiches. A large McD’s milkshake costs almost as much as a half-gallon of ice cream. It’s getting so only ersatz pseudo-billionaires with lines of credit at dodgy foreign banks can eat there.

  • Artsy
    • JCF

      Gonna have to downvote this. Suffering from morbid obesity is a real disease. This person—who undoubtedly couldn’t be a worse human being than Drumpf no matter how hard he tried—doesn’t deserve to have his condition mocked (even assuming he signed a release for the photo. A release to have Drumpf’s execrable head attached? I think not.)

  • Willys41

    “He is also the heaviest. . .”

    Trump isn’t just heavy. You could be eight feet tall and thin as a rail and still be heavy. Trump is fat. He’s probably obese. And avoiding the terms is an offense against the objective truth.

  • LesbianTippingHabits


    Which report will leak first? Proctology?

  • Gianni

    I hope the doctor manually checks his prostate with at least three fingers.

  • JCF

    So Many Joke Opportunities, I Don’t Know Where to Begin…

    No Brain. No Heart. No Dick. Minimal Hands.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b57dbb6a1f7c5903a9a2f1fe0c3200d2b08adc04dccc3cd8e5dca968f1357e12.gif

  • Craig Howell

    FWIW: I saw the Presidential Motorcade coming down Connecticut Avenue just north of Dupont Circle this morning around 10:30. Even with a huge police escort clearing out traffic, it has to take at least 20-30 minutes to get from Bethesda/Walter Reed down here. So he must have left there around 10. He’s not an early riser, as far as I know. So just how long did his so-called “physical” take?

  • wds

    “The results are expected to be discussed during Tuesday’s press briefing”…and thus, the lying no doubt will begin right there … I thought the Medical Center was going to provide the report … If not, then he should have just gone to Doctor Trumpie .. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4a0410c3957b9a7c7f29d31b38e45f32319f43b1a404293047dab5813ac432a.jpg

  • MassageBear

    It’s not necessary to do a mental acuity exam on the WH Resident, but it is mandatory for every person who voted for President Shithole. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b3469a36b419acf046f735d62289c7496275ed59706aa99b1ce1392afb62970.jpg

  • Acronym Jim

    The “heaviest president in a least a generation?”

    The ghost of William Howard Taft would like to have a word with the Post about having his record broken.

    http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2013/12/taft-color.jpg