Jim Bakker: The Amtrak Derailment In Washington Was God’s Warning To America About Something [VIDEO]

According to bisexual scamvangelist and food slop bucket kingpin Jim Bakker, last month’s fatal Amtrak derailment in Washington state was a warning from God about…. something!

Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch:

Noting that the train was on its maiden voyage on a new stretch of track, Bakker likened the derailment to the sinking of the Titanic, which apparently made it spiritually significant.

“The great preachers of all times have said the Titanic is God’s warning,” Bakker said, “and I believe—here again, one of the fast new trains, brand new, crashed off the tracks on its maiden voyage—people, you had better listen to what is going on.”

  • DaddyRay

    It was a warning about Trump

  • bkmn

    He probably thinks it was in DC.

  • bkmn
    • safari

      So, he reflects his base?

    • Todd20036

      and yet, said nothing when it could have meant something.

    • james1200
    • Bambino

      Crazily stupid or stupidly crazy?

      • David Walker

        Yes.

  • safari

    I hope god floods his house and he has to shovel out the slop from the food buckets he’s hoarded in his basement.

  • Todd20036

    No dear. Our idiot, unstable, Nazi president is a fucking warning about a real live nuclear holocaust.

    But you don’t care because Trump is a Nazi, and so are you.

    At least Tammy Faye grew up

  • Lazycrockett

    Is that piece of plastic next to him his wife?

    • carrot festival

      Scare-a-matronic.

    • Charlie

      Yes, it’s Lori, his ex-drug addict born again wife after he left his 300lb. boyfriend when he was released from prison. I’ve seen some of his show while channel surfacing….she shakes like an old crack-whore. They deserve each other!

      • carrot festival

        It looks like she fell headfirst into one of his buckets. Again and again.

      • Lazycrockett

        I love a woman who can shake a martini without using a actual shaker.

    • bkmn

      Just some husk left over after he sucked the life out of it

    • another_steve

      The Amtrak derailment was God’s warning that if you wear too much makeup past a certain age and too much hideous clothing, people will notice.

      • Uncle Mark

        Perhaps god’s warning us that our new President is off the rails, and will get a lot of people killed if he’s not stopped. Hey look at me; I’m better at this shit than longtime scamgelical Bakker.

        • Tawreos

          Very nicely done. Where do we send the money?

      • Don

        Thessalonians 2:10 – and with all the deception of
        wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved.

        I Corinthians 6:9 “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the kingdom of God.

        Maybe some of you should open your ears to what he has to say instead of making smart ass comments.

        • another_steve

          Thank you, Don.

          BTW, may I see your penis?

        • Bohunk

          Cherry picking?

        • Maybe you could open your eyes and see that Pat and his fiends* are those deceiving wicked unrighteous ones that those verses are referencing.

          *Not a misspelling.

    • Odd, I would have though there was something in the bible about not marrying your blow up doll.

      • another_steve

        No no no… You’re thinking about the prohibition in the Book of Leviticus about sleeping with your neighbor’s German Shepherd.

        Please get your biblical prohibitions straight.

        • Tawreos

          Are you sure those are prohibitions? I always thought they were biblical prostitutions since they get whored out to whatever point the preacher is trying to make.

          • another_steve

            All I’ll say (as a certified born and raised in New York City cultural Jew) is that for $75 I have for you five nice biblical prohibitions that make a lovely anniversary gift for your wife. Gift wrapped, $5 extra.

            For another $20 I’ll throw in a beautiful wine decanter with gold trim, perfect for the holidays.

        • greenmanTN

          How else is she going to get porked? Wait. Porking is traif, right? The Bible is so confusing!

          • another_steve

            The rule followed by most American Jews is this:

            Pork is traif (unkosher) unless prepared in a Chinese restaurant that features a $7.95 lunch special that includes soup, entree, fried or white rice and an egg roll.

            Then and only then does God say, “Go for it.”

    • David Walker

      She sure as shit ain’t no Tammy Faye.

    • orion dumptee

      who ever she is she has that ‘totally surprised’ look…aka a CHEAP facelift

  • carrot festival

    What is that thing sitting next to him? Proof of alien life?

    • Jmdintpa

      thats ET !

  • Jmdintpa

    i better order another 50 gallon bucket of jesus food.

    • Lazycrockett

      Or what my mom called slop.

    • Pollos Hermanos

      Jesus only needs 2 gallons.

      He’s got magic powers.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        “Lord, how will you feed the multitude with only two slop buckets?”

        • David Walker

          “They’ll merely need to taste a bit of it and reject it. Indeed, some may hurl chunks. Problem solved. Now you must excuse me. I, the lord your god, must help a couple of gay guys learn how to make a storm.” Byanetics 4:17

  • Lazycrockett

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/948600210070147072

    Someone has turned Drumpfs tweets into an English language instruction booklet.

    • William

      Those students are doomed.

      • David Walker

        Bigly.

  • JAKvirginia

    Maybe coincidence, but reports suggest something on the tracks may have caused the derailment. One of your slop-buckets?

  • Pollos Hermanos

    God is pissed that there are too many Starbucks?

    • safari

      They overroast their beans

      • Jmdintpa

        it never tasted good to me and smelled burnt

      • Pollos Hermanos

        Agreed. I’ll take Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

  • BlackGayVeganAtheist
    • safari

      There are two of him?

      • David Walker

        Two-faced, anyway.

        • Uncle Mark

          One face for every day of the week, and two on Sunday. (That’s how I used to describe the queen of church ladies at my old church…decades ago.)

    • carrot festival

      The one in the upper corner in full spew mode is excellent.

  • Mark

    Good grief you old lunatic! The engineer was doing 80 in a 30 zone – fucking asshole!

    • JohnJay

      I was going to say that. So that was God’s warning: Don’t do 80 on a 30 mph curve. Of course, that’s also Galileo and Isaac Newton’s warning; you know, the mechanics branch of physics.

      • David Walker

        But…but gravity is still just a theory, right?

    • ChrisMorley

      Europe, Japan and China insist the sad truth is that the US does not have any fast trains.

      • David Walker

        Having seen way too many YouTube videos from the cab’s POV, I must agree. (I’ve finally got used to calling the engineer a “driver,” since that’s a good YouTube search word.)

    • David Walker

      But god made the engineer do that. Don’t you see? It really was a warning from the money-maker.

    • DreadPikathulhu

      God was his copilot and He reached over to increase the speed when the engineer wasn’t looking, obviously.

  • Butch

    Preachers of all times said the Titanic was a warning? They said that even centuries before it happened? I can just imagine their followers – “what’s a Titanic?”

    • Pollos Hermanos

      It was a warning that 85 years later there would be a shitty movie.

      • Butch

        I usually conceal the fact that by the end of that movie I was screaming “sink, goddammit!” at the screen. I hated it and I’m glad to see someone agree!

        • PickyPecker

          It was a shitty movie and yes, I cheered for the sinking as well. Couldn’t happen fast enough!

          • Joe in PA

            But I cried when Shelley Winters died. 🙁

            Oh wait….

          • TuuxKabin

            I laughed, since it was her rushing over to one side of the boat like that causing it to capsize.

        • Anastasia Beaverhousen

          shit, you spoiled it for me.

          • TuuxKabin

            Next time, if you have the time, you’re in Manhattan visit Strauss Park. B’dway/106th/West End Avenue. Lovely pocket park with statue dedicated to Ida & Isidore Strauss. She wouldn’t board the life boat without him Lived in the neighborhood. Can’t access website now, but it’s s nice niche.

        • RobertaK

          I was rooting for the iceberg about an hour into the movie. Talk about dragging things out. (Imagine the dudes Jack was gambling against — heard about the accident and probably were all, “dayum, we sure caught a break thanks to that dumb American…”

      • Uncle Mark

        It was all I could do to keep from laughing into my popcorn, while teenage girls around me were sobbing. (I was rooting for the wealthy fatcats to sink.)

    • Bambino

      The warning was the ear worm of the Celine Dion song that is still blaring from the radios and of contestants from every singing competition reality shows.

      • Butch

        I’ve always thought that Saline Dion would be a great name for a line of contact lens products. I guess that’s off topic.

        • Anastasia Beaverhousen

          Saline is not really used much for contact lenses any longer. Believe me, I know.. i’m in that industry.

          • TuuxKabin

            Is it used in injections for joint pain relief? Serious.

          • Anastasia Beaverhousen

            I don’t know.. I work more in the optometry field.

          • TuuxKabin

            Oh.

          • RobertaK

            I’ve heard there’s a shortage of saline solutions and IV bags since one of the main production plants is in Puerto Rico and it’s still not operational due to the shitstorm that’s Hurricane Maria recovery.

            Literally — thanks Trump.

          • Anastasia Beaverhousen

            There are a lot of shortages due to the hurricane. Our company closed their plants there about 5 years ago and do all the manufacturing in the US now.

        • clay

          Imagine Saline Dijon as a drag queen.
          She’s both salty and spicy, but with a low, slow burn.

          • Butch

            That’s even better than contact lenses. You win.

  • fastlanestranger

    “Jim, your show and life are a trainwreck!” -God

  • crewman

    One common symptom of schizophrenia is the person sees hidden messages in random events. He can be driven mad trying to decode the hidden messages that will finally explain everything. Bakker might be something like a high-functioning schizophrencic who has learned to use his illness to “con” (although it might be one part accidental, one part purposeful) people longing for proof of god, for simple answers, and some sort of benevolent magic that rewards true believers and good people.

  • EdA

    “people, you had better listen to what is going on.”

    Yes, for YEARS the Republiscum that they have insisted on voting into office have been taking money that could have gone into American infrastructure and putting it into their own pockets, the pockets of the parasites who support them, and the Chinese and others who have been using the interest from the money they have loaned us to support the tax cuts for people and companies who already have more money than they literally know what to do with to improve their own infrastructure, including rail.

    Putz.

  • HZ81

    If Titanic was God’s warning, it was about shitty filmmaking.

  • Bambino

    Nothing about his own “career” derailment where he ended up in jail was a god message?

    • Tawreos

      He learned to hide his greed better

    • David Walker

      Actually, it was a gift from god, giving him time to dream up a new scam. He was inspired by prison food.

      • orion dumptee

        and prison sex….

        • nocadrummer

          Like the neologism “santorum”. I’d suggest “bakker” for a similar mix, except for “someone who is not well.”

    • The_Wretched

      God wanted him to hang with male and female prostitutes, like jesus. What’s a little tax fraud to pay for it?

      • clay

        Well, not so many female prostitutes where he went.

  • Smokey

    God is coming down in the world if he is using Amtrak to send messages!

    • Tawreos

      Given your avatar , do you really want him to use flaming bushes anymore?

      • Smokey

        You’re right. And I never thought of George and Laura as flaming.

    • Bluto

      cheeto needs to get really strict with the railroads & save them like he did with the airlines.

  • Tawreos

    Is the message to watch your speed on certain parts of the track? If that is the message I think that point could have been driven home without all the deaths.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    He must have an evil god.

  • “Fuck” said piglet
  • Paula

    Yes, Jim, it was a warning from gawd. gawd was warning them to obey the laws of physics!

  • William

    The Titanic had a corporate executive pushing for speed, even after warnings about icebergs. So capitalism is to blame.

  • Ninja0980

    When will Gawd calls these fuckers home already?

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      Would you want to do that?

    • ByronK

      Look at it this way, we have to put up with them temporarily, God gets them for eternity. I’d put that off until the last possible moment, wouldn’t you?

  • Max_1
  • Nic Peterson

    Thou shalt follow posted speed limits on the tracks designed for slow moving freight?

  • BlackGayVeganAtheist
    • JohnJay

      I thought that was his foldable shovel for his “survival sanitation kit”… where you can walk out into the woods and dig a hole to take a dump.

      • Tawreos

        Dirt and fecal matter might just help the taste of the slop he’s mixing

      • Lumpy Gaga

        “dig a hole?”

        • Bambino

          We could hope it’s a quick slob he will trip and sink in some day soon.

      • William

        The “food” looks the same going out as it does going in.

      • Bambino

        Not even the cats would shit in that!

    • Tawreos

      The problem isn’t a huckster shoveling garbage at people the real problem is the people cheering that they are the ones he is shoveling it at.

    • Uncle Mark

      “It’s survival food.”
      “No, it’s not; it’s a plaster patching compound.”
      “Calm down, you two. It’s BOTH.”

      • Snarkaholic

        It’s also Chump’s makeup kit.

        • coram nobis

          Obviously uses a lot of turmeric.

          But what oaf would serve food with an entrenching tool?

          • David Walker

            There was that president of the Lady’s Social Club who encouraged her fellow members to try her lime jello marshmallow cottage cheese surprise. She brought heaps.

          • nocadrummer

            Ugh. We stopped in a Furr’s Cafeteria in El Paso on our cross-country trek last year. They had lime jello-cottage cheese something. It looked DISGUSTING. I don’t recall seeing marhsmallows in it. The color and texture were enough to make me turn the same color. My husband decided to pick it up and try it – THAT was a long drive that night.

          • David Walker

            Ugh. I can only imagine. If you don’t know the song I took that from, here ’tis:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tWuG2oPL3o

          • charemor

            I prefer tuna fish in my lime and cottage cheese jello.

          • JaniceInToronto

            Oh you big showoff! It’s a shovel. Just a shovel.

            /s

          • coram nobis

            No, it looks like an E-tool.

          • JaniceInToronto

            So -here’s- an entrenching tool.

            Well, according to the military…

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0449dd7b4a08fd17720dc35785dd22d9feddba4b7627db0941854082ecad9605.jpg

          • OdieDenCO

            Jethro Bodine’s mother

          • nocadrummer

            I don’t think so… Jethro Bodine’s mother was played by Bea Benaderet.

          • Snarkaholic

            Well, considering that the majority of his followers look like they eat out of a trough…

      • Dale Snyder

        We are old….

      • Daveed_WOW

        It’s a dessert topping! It’s a floor wax!

        https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/shimmer-floor-wax/n8625

      • BlackGayVeganAtheist

        HAHAHAHA

    • OdieDenCO

      that is not a food safe container. but we will allow it as that is not food.

    • anne marie in philly

      look out, I’mma gonna HURL!

  • Lumpy Gaga

    “I rebuke thee, demon rail!”

  • Tomcat

    Yeah, god is saying don’t do 80mph around tight turns dummy.
    But then again a child could tell you that.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • BlackGayVeganAtheist

      YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL, save me a seat!!!

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        We’re all gay men, we’ve already been through hell here on Earth; so Club Satan should be a cake walk.

        • Bambino

          Hell is a paradise compare to the bigot world we live in.

    • Bambino

      Incestuous Jesus. Right in Tony Perkins’ Fucking Related Children alley.

  • Max_1
  • coram nobis

    “Thou shalt install Positive Train Control,” saith the Lord.

    • clay

      (and actually activate it)

      • coram nobis

        Far as I know, the only RR to fully implement it so far is the Alaska Railroad, and that’s a state agency. Only commuter rail that fully has it, far as I heard, were Metrolink in So. California and SMART in the North Bay Area.

  • Nowhereman

    JImmy, Jimmy, Jimmy! Sometimes a train derailment is just a train derailment. In this case, the humans who were driving the train were going too fast–like about double the speed limit. No gods were involved.

  • DisqusD37

    I drove with my gas tank door open yesterday. I believe it was God’s wrath for having floored it through a yellow light earlier that morning.

  • JWC

    Jim Bakker Tammy Fay is calling ….JUST FUCK OFF

  • Gigi

    Jay Bakker, tats and all, is normalcy personified considering he was raised by this freak show.
    “Bakker makes the case that homosexuality is neither a sin nor incompatible with an authentic and robust life of faith.”

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thedudeabides/2011/01/19/godstuff-jay-bakker-on-gays-his-parents-and-grace/#M4oHuU6C0dkJDcLY.99

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f95bcf1f5c6a180b55b4c729e45961aa28f8d5f3d381b95d8a8abc7906fdc57.jpg

    • UrsusArctos 🐻

      His mom was the Xian in that pair. She preached gawd loved everyone. She also embraced the gay community as she aged. I’m glad he listened to her and didn’t go into hate grifting like his dad.

  • Boreal
  • The_Wretched

    The Titanic boat rode a maiden down railroad tracks?

    • clay

      It’s the part of the ship christening ceremony they never talk about.
      The champagne’s supposed to help wash away the blood after the prow hits her in the head.

  • Boreal

    OT:

    Rick Hall, legendary Muscle Shoals record producer, dies aged 85

    https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/jan/02/rick-hall-muscle-shoals-record-producer-dies-aged-85

  • Bambino
    • Tawreos

      They couldn’t have warned us last week before I started a Caesar salad binge?

      • Bambino

        I was warned from another site last week. It is still being investigating, it seems the geographical area has widen.

    • Daveed_WOW

      Blame Canada

    • RobertaK

      Crap — romaine’s my favorite lettuce; iceberg is so blah. Guess I could blend iceberg with green leaf or red leaf lettuce and get by for a few months.

    • Damnation! Romaine is the ONLY lettuce I’ll eat.

  • Robert Adams

    I wish God was more like the aliens in the TV show V , ya know just show up in the sky and deliver the ultimatum and be done with it. Instead we are stuck with a bunch of “prophets” who can’t even agree on what the message is.

    • David Walker

      The message of the prophets is “profits.” For them, of course. And there’s a veritable buffet of ways to let you give them your money. Think of gifting as an Epicurean delight of bullshit…that’s the message they agree on.

      • Yes, I think we’ve been misspelling prophets for eons.

  • Webster
  • TexasBoy

    I heard that the derailment was NOT on a new stretch of track, but on a track that had not been refurbished and had a lower speed limit.

    • RoFaWh

      Here’s a link to Google Maps satellite imagery of the curve under discussion. The train was travelling from north to south, right to left in this view, with a pusher locomotive at the back end and a dummy locomotive containing only controls at the front.

      https://www.google.ca/maps/@47.0813635,-122.6750398,520m/data=!3m1!1e3

      I’ve read that originally “they” intended to rebuild this curve, but decided not to. Even though railroad companies take pains to ensure that engineers know what the maximum speed is on any stretch of track, clearly those precautions did not work this time.

      Inattention by the crew?

      Distraction?

      A trumptweet?

  • Max_1

    No plane crashed = Trump win
    Amtrak crash = not Trump’s fault

    Logic that never makes sense…

    • RoFaWh

      Trump doesn’t have even the faintest clue what the word “logic” means.

  • ByronK

    Sort of O/T So 2018 is looking pretty similar in its fucked-up-ness as 2017. And just to raise the stakes a litte…
    https://twitter.com/robreiner/status/948589740156055553

    Fuck, it’s only January 3rd.

    • Max_1

      17 more days make a full year…

    • RobertaK

      Bannon’s claiming that January’s going to be Trump’s last chance to get his “legacy” settled — shit’s going to hit the fan in February.

      For once, I’d like that fat Nazi to be right about something.

  • Adam Stevens

    Needs more prison.

  • Max_1
    • Joe in PA

      Without even clicking, I can tell I like the Gloria Gaynor version better. Oh wait.

      • Max_1

        But does she survive the divine crash?

        • David Walker

          3 days later, yes.

          • djcoastermark

            And yes, the sequel is Jesus Returns.

    • Joe in PA

      OMG…I just DID hit play…fabulous…thank you!

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      It’s been way too long since this video’s last resurrection! Thanks!

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    Republicans have all branches of federal power. So, then, what is God warning us about?

    • peacfulseas inWA

      Our government has gone off the rails?

  • Joe in PA
    • Max_1

      I CAN see a bra strap…

    • Pollos Hermanos

      Yeah but the tan lines are super cool.

    • Paul_in_Dallas

      Or it’s some kind of neck beast, opening its maw to bare its fangs.

  • Stubenville

    Why yes, yes it was a warning. It was a warning about the greedy people who would take money away from critical infrastructure and from children’s health care to pad the pockets of the already rich.

  • RobertaK

    I know exactly what God’s saying: “We’ve got shit like the Laws of Physics for a reason. You break those laws, people die. Maybe keep that in mind before tossing out all those regulations that you Republicans claim are ‘too costly’ for businesses. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to work — still trying to figure out how the new tax bill actually helps the poor…”

  • Stubenville

    So who is the ancient drag queen appearing with Jimbo? And who does her eyebrows, Cruella de Vil?

    • djcoastermark

      Dolly if she went all meth on us ?

  • Lazycrockett
  • Taylor

    I’m pretty sure it was a warning to layoff food slop and botox!

  • Friday’s_cat

    A warning the worst is yet to come if the subway tubes under the Hudson and East Rivers collapse.

  • anne marie in philly

    WHAT is that thing sitting next to the felon? tammy faye never looked THAT bad, until she was dying.

  • Rex

    Blah, blah, blah…send me money.

  • kareemachan

    We drove by the site over Xmas. Doesn’t look like “gawd hates teh geyz” to me.

  • Sporkfighter

    Yeah, it was a warning . . . a warning about the dangers of going 80mph in a 30mph zone.

  • -M-

    Why do these people insist on being completely wrong about everything?

    What sort of God would try communicate by sending us the worst clues ever?

    • RoFaWh

      Be nice to poor Bakker. He’s just a poor grifter whose schtick is working less and less well as Trump trumpifies the population into learning what madmen look like and sound like.

  • Did it ever occur to these crackpots that god is warning evangelicals about misrepresenting him?

  • RoFaWh

    I’m having trouble cleaning my bong by soaking it in isopropanol.

    Is this a divine message of some sort?

  • Karl Dubhe 2

    What? Was it an uncrashable train?

    F’n religious loony. He was much funnier when his wife helped.

  • Alexodia

    Its a warning about not going 50 mph over the tracks speed limit around turns.

  • RJ Bone

    Something something something jeebus. Something something something crosses and stuff. Something something something teh gayz fault.

    Give me the last of your food money, grandma.

  • Capritaur

    About our failing infrastructure and descent into a third-world nation under Trump’s leadership, for sure.

  • Yourself

    yeah, it was a warning alright…, don’t drive 80mph in a 30mph zone… fuck*n DOLT

  • Gianni

    Tell the fools that listen to you whatever works to keep parting them from their money, Jim. Those of us on the outside of the bubble can see the scam for what it is. Fortunately for you and other religious scammers, your fools don’t, can’t, or won’t see it or don’t care anyway. It’s a good living and you guys are smart enough to know it and keep feeding that golden egg-laying hen. Lying to and duping fools pays and pays well.

  • SilasMarner

    These people really need some strong medication, or a frontal lobotomy, or maybe both. And who is that scary looking hag next to Bakker?

    • Bj Lincoln

      Mental illness shielded by a holy book. Only under the guise of religion can a nutjob get away with shit like this.

  • Harshan

    The Amtrak Derailment In Washington Was God’s Warning To America Not To Drive Trains Too Fast For The Track.