Trump To Undergo First Physical Of Presidency

The Associated Press reports:

The White House says President Donald Trump will undergo the customary presidential physical on Jan. 12.

Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed the date Thursday. The White House had previously said Trump would have the physical early in the year at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. Sanders has said the results will be released after the physical.

Trump drew scrutiny several weeks ago when he seemed to slur his words during an address. The White House said his throat was dry.

CBS News reports:

Before being elected into office, the Trump campaign released some details of his medical information following examinations conducted by his personal physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein, in a series of letters.

A one-page letter describing Mr. Trump’s medical history reviewed his cholesterol levels, blood pressure, which was 116/70, testosterone level and blood sugar level. It also said Mr. Trump, 70 years of age at the time, weighed 236 pounds, which means his body mass index (BMI) of 29.5 would make him overweight. A BMI of 30 or above falls within the range of obesity. Trump’s campaign said those results were from a physical exam conducted by Bornstein on Sept. 9, 2016.

In the first medical letter, released in Dec. 2015, Bornstein said that, “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.”

  • Lazycrockett

    I’ll believe it 2 days after it happens.

  • C’mon, everybody knows the WH will demand the results be kept entirely secret, and then lie their asses off about what the actual physical results were.

    • -M-

      “Of course we’ll release them, as soon as we can but you see there’s this audit, so…”

      • vorpal

        LOL you beat me to it. Damn. Catty minds think alike.

        • JWC

          Hello you

          • vorpal

            Hey John! I feel like we haven’t talked in awhile. I’ve got a ton of email to catch up on but I’ll write you a bit later today. Hope you’re sound asleep having pleasant dreams!

          • JWC

            fyi new email

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    • vorpal

      Oh, be nice: it’s not Trump’s fault that his physical results are being audited.
      Look, a squirrel! MAGA MAGA MAGA!

    • Helen Damnation™

      They will definitely release anything that is healthy (or “great” in Trumpspeak) but will blame someone else for anything “bad”, in typical Trump fashion.

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        Crooked Hillary raised his blood pressure. Obama raised his cholesterol. CNN and all the fake news people raised his blood sugar levels. George Soros was behind it all.

        • Snarkaholic

          The Cure: A lot more golf!

      • Paula Key

        News. News. incredible President, is found to function without a human heart.

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          We’ve already had a vice president who did that

    • kaydenpat

      Yep. Tax returns all over again.

    • Ranger One

      And the Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

  • KM

    I would LOVE to see a cholesterol level – all that McDonalds? His kidneys must be the size of raisins from all that diet coke.

    • vorpal

      They match his testicles!

      • GanymedeRenard

        And his hands, too!

    • Some people just have the right genetics for for good cholesterol, hell knows it’s not my diet keeping it low.

      • Snarkaholic

        His father lived to be 93; his mother lived to be 88 but, judging by pics of them, they looked a lot fitter…like they actually ate nutritious food at least once in a while.
        Chump on the other hand…

        • I only say that after 2 doctors and a nurse practitioner have told me they wish they had my cholesterol levels. It’s sure not anything I’ve done on purpose.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Will this include tests for mental disorders?

    • GanymedeRenard

      Why test what’s evident? LOL

    • Cattleya1

      should include syphilis serology.

      • Paul Ohbehr L

        Bingo!

  • Fatso needs a BIG hand to check his prostrate.

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • Sam_Handwich

      LOL!

    • Paul Ohbehr L

      Hey, where are you finding pictures of Donald J.?

  • vorpal

    I wonder if Dr. Whatshisface Competency charges per point of cholesterol to knock off a blood test.

    Maybe it’s a tax deductible charitable donation. We’ll never know.

  • Dan M

    Any way we can get an explosive suppository inserted?

  • Licensed Troll

    This should be entertaining…..

  • Lazycrockett
    • Tomcat

      He would really be upset if the guy came in with penis on his breath.

      • m_lp_ql_m

        Or if the guy breathed on his penis.

        • matrem

          It’s not gay if the bottom isn’t breathing.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        How could Pence tell? Pence’s breath stinks of Dump’s.

      • JCF

        Might he not ask him for a referral? >;-/

      • JCF

        *ouch*

  • GanymedeRenard

    They’ll find half a brain cell, flabby gums and a hoard of lard. Big deal.

    • vorpal

      They’ll have to pierce the orange varnish to even find a way to draw out the putrid sludge that oozes through what his species has that is equivalent to the human vein.

      • GanymedeRenard

        Whence rivers of hemolymph will emanate, mixed with ridiculous levels of stupid.

        • vorpal

          But he was anointed by the Evangelicals and touched some sacred glowing orb. Surely that must count for something.

          • GanymedeRenard

            But the orb was touched by them ‘Mooslims’, too, so I’m not sure the ritual is valid.

      • safari
      • Cattleya1

        Actually, he is a sack of shit, so stick a large-bore needle anywhere and they will get a syringe full of brown stuff.

  • Tomcat

    Surely there won’t be a mental evaluation included. That would be wonderful if it was included.

  • BlackGayVeganAtheist
    • vorpal

      He got his medical degree from Liberty U?

      • ColdCountry

        Trump U.

        • vorpal

          Potayto, potahto.
          Dumb and dumber.

  • BlackGayVeganAtheist
    • Cuberly Deux

      Actually Kennedy had serious back trouble from wounds he sustained in WWII.

      • Paul Ohbehr L

        He was sane though. Yes?

        • RGG

          Yes, and no bone spurs.

          • Paul Ohbehr L

            Thanks. I thought JFK was sane and he did serve in the military and while POTUS while under lots of pain. That is the way I remember JFK. I didn’t think JFK was in bad mental health (unlike Reagan (Alzheimer’s) AND Trump, gosh, where would one even begin with him. Narcissism, I get the term mixed up; either a psychopath or sociopath. Trump is Petty; Self-aggrandizing; only cares and thinks about himself and his ego (in the end); cruel, I think Dementia, early Alzheimer’s?, and the list could go on … ).

        • Cuberly Deux

          Sane and vastly more capable.

          • Paul Ohbehr L

            Yes, thanks, Cuberly Deux.

          • bzrd

            How many newspapers did he read each morning?
            a lot

        • Oscarlating Wildely
          • Juvela Bumblebee

            Who is he!

          • Oscarlating Wildely

            Joe Kennedy III, RFK’s grandson

      • JCF

        That’s not all.

        “JFK Took Many Drugs for Secret Health Problems”

        http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=125593&page=1

        • Karl Dubhe 2

          Still healthier than Trump, I’ll bet anyhow.

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        And he had the clap… five times.

        Of course, Trump is the human embodiment of genital herpes.

        • bzrd

          genital herpes without the genitals

      • Lars Littlefield

        And Addison’s disease.

        Don’t forget the Addisons.

      • Snarkaholic

        Plus Addison’s disease and a few other ailments…but he put all of that bed rest time to good use…by READING.

  • Ken

    I’m sure they’re going to release the results…along with his tax filings.

  • FAEN

    Medical Report
    ———————-

    Obese
    Out of shape
    Bat shit crazy!

    • Pollos Hermanos

      And impotent.

  • ohbear1957

    I don’t want to think about tRump undressed and ready to be examined.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ef689fbeeb5be6bd1e3d644a44bad693eed11759dcd2b0c32477800a46ce9818.gif

  • BlackGayVeganAtheist
  • Lazycrockett
    • JCF

      Hmmm. Something health related? Family matter? Something concerning his KIND charity?

      …or has a little bird told him about upcoming indictments? (Can haz?)

    • SoCalGal20

      A WEST WING REBOOT?

  • FAEN
  • m_lp_ql_m

    Compared to the people who voted for him, Trump is extremely healthy.

  • clay

    So, do any of y’all know how doctors (PAs, nurse practitioners, etc.) are trained to respond to patients who aren’t trustworthy?

    • KCMC

      VA PA wrote great reports where I interned:
      robust build, well-nourished…

  • Paul Ohbehr L

    Our king is healthy. He ain’t needeth no damn examination; says his fake doctor, the quack. He’s still healthy. He can tell by the glow. He eats lots of orange bronzer for that extra glow.

  • BlackGayVeganAtheist

    President Trump is nothing if not a fierce competitor. His diet and exercise regimen are fine-tuned for someone with the drive to be the fattest commander-in-chief.

    Other than golf, he strenuously avoids physical activity; recent news reports noted that White House staffers feared being placed on a different floor than the president because it was extremely unlikely that he would ever use the stairs.

    His diet leans heavily on the four basic food groups of weight gain: McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC, and sweets.

    Mr. President, you are a man who has never thought small: Big Macs! Large fries! If Taft can hit 340 pounds, who’s to say a man with your hunger can’t reach 400? 500? The opportunity for greatness is in your not-at-all tiny hands, assuming they’re not grasping something deep-fried at the moment.

    To paraphrase Harry Truman, the Dollar Menu stops here.

    https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/is-donald-trump-obese-an-investigation-w462910/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/036248dabd444eeb86745cedb277911f38bc99bf5ac94e5accd869c6311d0d79.jpg

    • I’m gonna go ahead and guess his actual weight—striving to be fair here—is close to about 300 lbs at this point. At least 275.

      • Paul Ohbehr L

        I should look up how tall he is … he is 6’2″ … He’s got a fat body for being that height. I’m guessing more than 275. Not to contradict you BeccaM as I like your posts.

        • It’s fine! We’re just guessing anyway. Seems we’re roughly in agreement, actually.

      • Karl Dubhe 2

        No, you’re underscoring it. He’s at least 350, with a good chance of hitting the 400s.

        • JCF

          I’m guessing at least 300. But remember: fat weighs less than muscle.

        • marshlc

          No, he’s looking about 270, 280 to me. I can see him pushing 300, but not over it.

          • thatotherjean

            That’s a picture from early in his tenure. He is not a happy President, he’s eating to make himself feel better, and he has gained a whole bunch of weight since then.

    • Hue-Man

      wiki ” Taft was the most obese president. He was 5 feet, 11.5 inches tall; his weight was at 335–340 pounds toward the end of his Presidency.”
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa79f6c03c26ae179d354adc6ad0f1ba712829b310c28e6a598e7d81f8e83078.jpg

  • Lazycrockett
  • DaddyRay

    Anyone else here think we will not hear the truth about Dear Leaders actual health

    • Everyone, actually.

    • BearEyes

      damn – and I was so looking forward to hear a real doctor exclaim tRump as the mostest, bestest, greatest, healthest specimen.
      /s

      • RoFaWh

        With the bigliest turds.

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      I think there is a good chance they will be honest. It’s the best way to remove him, short of impeachment or assassination.

    • Snarkaholic

      Here’s the results they’ll release:
      1. Does NOT have uterine cancer!
      2. Does NOT have Ebola!
      3. Does NOT have any war injuries!
      Prognosis: In EXCELLENT health!!!

    • thatotherjean

      Not unless someone in Walter Reed thinks it’s important enough to leak.

  • Natty Enquirer

    One does not articulate “the United States of America” with the throat, Ms. Hucksterbee.

  • Bob Conti

    Doctor: “You’re grossly obese!”
    Trump: “I want a second opinion!”
    Doctor: “You’re ugly as fuck as well!”

  • Moebym of the Returners

    There won’t be any pictures of my new cat on Sunday…

    Because I won’t be getting him after all.

    Long story short, the owner seems to have found someone who can take both cats, and it’s likely she’ll choose to let that person have them for that reason, even though I was the first to come meet them.

    This is almost like the 2016 election all over again, writ small: I think I have it in the bag, and then the rug’s pulled out from under me and I’m left wondering why? How?

    So I’m pretty distraught right now.

    • Paul Ohbehr L

      Aww. Sorry you won’t be getting your cat.

    • I’m so sorry. Getting excited about a new family member and then not having it happen has to be painful as hell.

    • Zeldacat

      That sucks. Cats have always been better friends to me than most people.

    • Sam_Handwich

      i’m sorry. but no consolation that the two kitties can stay together?

      • Moebym of the Returners

        The owner also said it was fine for me to take only one, but I can’t blame her for wanting her cats to stay together. Admittedly it’s selfish of me to want to split them up, but due to family circumstances and the older cat’s poor health, I can’t keep both.

        • RaygunsGoZap

          Here’s hoping there is a better match coming your way soon

        • Gretchen

          You wouldn’t happen to be in the East Tennessee area? I got an email just this morning about a rescue cat needing a home. Let me know if you want more information.

    • TuuxKabin

      Sorry, Moebym. That’s so disappointing. But, don’t give up once you get over the let down. Some other cat or kitten will come your way, hopefully one you’ll be able to adopt. Sorry you’re going thru the disappointment.

    • JCF

      🙁

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      If you go to the pound (shelter) you might be able to find a noble beast that will help console you over losing the one that went with its (friend, mum, bro/sis-cat).

      (((huggs)))

    • TampaDink

      So sorry….but I’m sure that there is another adorable kitty out there who will be lucky to adopted by you.

    • whollyfool

      I know it’s difficult when you keep getting the rug pulled out…. There’s another kitty waiting to love you, I promise!

      I never knew cats bonded, but we found out recently. We ended up with 2 adult cats and 3 kittens hanging out in the forest outside our house…

      We decided to do the whole Trap-Neuter-Release thing. So we caught the kittens, had them fixed… and kept them. 😛

      Then we caught the adult that was not the mom (Laces). We had her fixed, kept her a couple of days, then let her out. We caught the mom the same day we let Laces out. Had mom fixed and planned on keeping her a couple days. Well, Laces would not go away. She spent a couple days outside various windows in the house as she and MomCat cried at each other through the windows. Finally we found Laces sleeping outside MomCat’s window in a 0F night.

      We decided we had to get Laces back in the house for our own sanity, so we kind of tricked her into coming in. She found her friend and they spent the next half hour rubbing on each other, curling tails.

      They still do that.

      And that’s why we have 5 cats. 🙂

      • thatotherjean

        That is also why you’re good people.

    • SelectFromWhere

      Sorry to hear that, but at least you know the cat will still be happy and not ruin the whole US economy or put us into nuclear war.

  • safari
  • safari

    Looks like we found out why Donald’s stirring up climate change bullshit
    https://twitter.com/ACoupleOkooks/status/946527625828323328

    • Sam_Handwich

      another punchable face

      • Another traitor for Leavenworth.

    • safari

      This thread begins with the NYT story with this opening:

      WASHINGTON — The Washington Free Beacon, a conservative website funded by a major Republican donor, first hired the research firm that months later produced for Democrats the salacious dossier describing ties between Donald J. Trump and the Russian government, the website said on Friday.

      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/27/us/politics/trump-dossier-paul-singer.html

      So, this is lovely. Nunes is pissy about his own donor’s creation. Brilliant!

    • Reason being? Backers of JEB BUSH wanted to prevent Donnie from winning the nomination. They only bailed after Jeb dropped out and it looked like Don-the-Con had the nomination secured. Only after that did the DNC and Clinton campaign start looking for perfectly legal oppo research, and here was this report already started.

      It wasn’t actually finished and they stopped pursuing it when it looked like Clinton was sure to win. (A not smart move.)

      Then, in the weeks after the election, Steele went ahead and finished the work on the draft, on his own. Because he felt America had just suffered a bloodless electoral coup sponsored by Russia and putting a willing traitor in the WH.

  • I’m just hoping that Trump is looking for a face-saving out, and that the physical provides an easy one for him. Is that too big of a hope for the new year?

  • Captain Jack

    Is Anne coulter and Kellyanne Conway going to do it? It will be alternative facts anyway..

  • JCF

    Is he alive? Is his brain alive?

  • Ninja0980

    Want to bet the results will be faked?

    • m_lp_ql_m

      Достаточно здоров, чтобы пережить северокорейскую бомбардировку.

      • GanymedeRenard

        Это имеет смысл. Только тараканы могли пережить ядерную катастрофу.

    • GanymedeRenard

      Just like Melania’s orgasms.

    • safari

      There won’t be results. The Waffle House News will say it is private, there is no law, and look how healthy he is.

  • me myself and I

    What “Doctor” Bornstein meant to write: “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the biggest A hole ever elected to the presidency

  • Karl Dubhe 2

    They’ll find something bad, you just know it.

    If they’re honest, the man will be forced to resign. (Karl says hopefully)

    • GanymedeRenard

      Honesty isn’t a word in their dictionary, I fret.

      • Karl Dubhe 2

        His, no.

        The docs, I’m rather confident that they’re looking forward to this.

        • GanymedeRenard

          Don’t get me wrong. I meant his doctors in particular, not doctors in general. 🙂

          • Karl Dubhe 2

            He’s not going to be talking to his doctors, is he?

            He gets the docs at Walter Reed, right? 🙂

          • GanymedeRenard

            I can only hope that he will take advice from a Seventh Day Adventist doctor. XD

          • Karl Dubhe 2

            Jehovah’s Witless doctors would be better. 🙂

          • GanymedeRenard

            XD

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I think it would have to be something that can’t be hidden like a fast-growing cancer in just the “wrong” place.

  • safari
    • DaddyRay

      🙁

    • JCF

      FUCK YOU 2017!!!!

      RIP, funny lady…

    • goddammit

      I so enjoyed following her the brief time I was able to do so. Her twitter feed was upbeat and marvelous.

      I *am* glad she was able to see her retrospective film, “Wait For Your Laugh” and that it was very well received.

      • houstonray

        Followed her too when she was so excited to be on Twitter and have new followers because she didn’t think people cared about “an old woman comedienne”. She was awesome on the Twitter and it was a refreshing moment in my feed.

        She will be missed and I must see the film!

    • JCF

      I think some of y’all might enjoy this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAw_BbWrwOI

      Memory eternal, Rose Marie…

    • Lazycrockett

      She was really promoting her new movie that’s just coming out.

    • Slippy_World
    • jmax

      I love the old one-liner comedians. Henny Youngman and Morey Amsterdam were my heroes. Rose Marie was one of the few female comics who could go toe-to-toe with any of them. I will miss her.

    • shellback

      god-fucking-dammit. Rose Marie is gone, and Thump is still alive – allegedly.

    • Rolf

      I realize this isn’t the most appropriate time to ask this, but her face looks a little unusual. Was this the result of illness?

      • Mike_in_the_Tundra

        Is that really unusual for somebody in their 90s?

    • TuuxKabin
    • bkmn

      I hope the documentary about her wins an Oscar next year. It would be a fitting salute to her long career.

  • geoffalnutt

    Oh, please! He could have huge, pulsing, cancerous tumors all over his body and he’d pronounce himself the healthiest creature in the universe. So would the “Doctor”…having been handsomely paid off. What a colossal waste of everyone’s time.

  • andrew

    Will the Walter Reed docs allow Trump to dictate the letter the way Bornstein clearly did when “he” wrote that if elected Trump would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.”

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    OT: Trumpeteers once again want to crap on things because not every single good thing belongs to them. It reminds me of the tantrum they threw about John Boyega being a storm trooper.

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kelly-marie-tran-racists-last-jedi_us_5a4400fee4b06d1621b6b2bb

    “Racism properly belongs in a galaxy long, long ago and far, far away, especially since the “Star Wars” universe features humans, Gungans, Droids, Ewoks and Wookiees.

    However,some racists are drawing the line at Asians and are having a hard time
    dealing with the fact that Vietnamese-American actress Kelly Marie Tran is starring in scenes of the film “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” as Rose Tico.”

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      May the Force deal with them properly.

      Reincarnation as worms.

    • easygoingmister

      She was one of my favorite parts of the movie. I loved just about every line she spoke.

  • Spudman
    • GanymedeRenard

      Wait… Is that image suggesting he’s got a heart??

    • Treant

      “Sir, your heart grew three sizes this day!”

      “How wonderful!”

      “It’s fatal.”

  • Sam_Handwich

    Many of the best people are saying that someone’s going to be busy jamming Godiva truffles up his own ass on Jan 11

    • RaygunsGoZap

      It’s lonely work

  • mjsatty
  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Who are they kidding? What they’ll actually find versus what they’ll tell the American people is so far apart, it’s pretty much the distance from Trump’s IQ to his ego…and that’s one hell of a distance.

    He’s a fat fuck who’s diet is so antithetical to good health it’s a wonder he’s even able to be as “active” as he is….yes, I’m being generous. Point being, like despots and dictators before him, his health will be declared “superior” to that of others all the while it withers.

    • I look at it this way: If they refuse to acknowledge he’s become significantly fatter in the last 18 months, and refuse to accept that his diet, exercise and sleep habits are as unhealthy as they can be, he’ll die of some seriously untreated condition that much sooner. Probably heart attack or stroke.

      Tomorrow would be good. Or today even.

      • Karl Dubhe 2

        Yesterday would have been better… 🙂

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Come on arterial plaque induced aneurysm!

      • canoebum

        Tomorrow works for me. Before breakfast.

        • bzrd

          some die in their sleep

      • Lars Littlefield

        Oh, you Pollyanna.

      • Hue-Man

        He has a far better chance of surviving a heart attack or stroke than ordinary people. wiki:
        At least one physician is on duty in the Executive Residence at all times.

      • Uncle Mark

        He’ll probably die on the toilet tweeting his bile

  • Lumpy Gaga

    If Donald’s not careful, he’ll get stuck in Ella’s chimney.

    http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/76507

  • Oscarlating Wildely
    • Karl Dubhe 2

      K, I’ll ask.

      WTF is that?? 🙂

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        Lard. Pure unadulterated lard. Think Crisco. Add in calories and other artery clogging shot. Make it slimy and gross. It’s like Trump’s personality, without the gold leaf.

        • Karl Dubhe 2

          I was thinking ‘frozen sperm’. Dunno why… 🙂

        • Natty Enquirer

          Lard is animal fat. Crisco is vegetable fat.

        • canoebum

          I would have said duck fat. Mini Yukon Golds grilled in duck fat….Yum. A little kosher salt, cracked pepper. Add a strip steak, red wine, some broccolini with garlic and olive oil. Heaven on Earth.

          • Oscarlating Wildely

            Sliced or whole on the potatoes?

          • canoebum

            Halved, grilled face down.

        • Hue-Man

          My mother bought it in 1 lb packages (like butter) for pie crusts but here’s a lard bucket! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/332a3cad2d6633fa9993d7a9b6d1401846bfc3207a6540158b45cc8decb431b8.jpg

          • Lazycrockett

            We got ours in a 5 gallon bucket! Which is like 40 lbs of lard.

          • William

            I’ve heard a few times that lard isn’t as bad for health as Crisco. I try to avoid both.

    • safari

      When I was a young child, I went to visit my kinfolk at the family farm on the Ohio River. The clan came over for a Sunday dinner to celebrate our arrival. We had a corn boil, some other types of vittles and — chicken fried in what I said was “whipped cream in a metal desk drawer”.

      The metal desk drawer was accurate, though I learned what lard was that day.

    • Treant

      Now I want to make soap.

  • Halou

    If he does take the physical he’ll have it’s results censored.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • safari

      Mar-a-Largo sunk into the sea?

    • Helen Damnation™

      Okay, he said “for a change”, so it can’t be about Trump. What is so big that would cause him to cancel his vacation? Anybody have a guess?

      • safari

        The UK has nullified our succession?

      • JCF

        I spec’d below (nothing terribly meaningful—though I’m hoping for leaks re upcoming indictments!).

        Somebody else guessed something to do w/ the West Wing? Maybe a reboot?

        • safari

          The actor that played Josh was on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me last weekend. There was no mention of it, but the fact that he’s back in circulation makes me think things.

  • A full physical for Trump really amounts to nothing more than a rectal exam.

  • bkmn

    He has gained a lot of weight. That is one hella big orange ass.

  • Lars Littlefield

    Are we taking bets on whether or not he has a heart? What’s the spread?

  • sadoldguy

    Time for a (tragic) thermometer accident.

    You choose the orifice.

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      Ear.

      Don’t wanna think about the alternatives.

  • Helen Damnation™

    The latest golfing pics show him to have gained a significant amount of weight.
    This pic is from two days ago.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a6fe19a3f534165f979129a714d8c33f7386d493f4218fbe75448d5c7b41bc9.jpg

    • bzrd

      and two russki spies are hiding behind him

  • JackNasty

    Donald Trump’s colonoscopy will be YUUUUGE, the biggest one ever.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Imagine Donald Trump trying to ice skate. Someone should goad him into a competition.

  • DaddyRay
    • JCF

      Despite being the only one making the hand sign, methinks he’s not the only one in THIS group!

    • safari

      That means “White Power”, does it not?

      • jmax

        Yeah, the hand sign looks like a WP.

    • Lazycrockett

      Notice everyone is staying clear of him.

      • OdieDenCO

        except for that guy behind him. he seem to be saying “what the fuck is this doing in America!”

      • Snarkaholic

        I’m surprised Chump didn’t insist on being in the center of the row.

    • JCF

      I swear, the woman in pink immediately to Drumpf’s right, has a longer thumb than he has.

  • Bert_Bauer

    They are drawing straws at Walter Reed to see who gets the worst assignment since Reagan’s prostate exam.

    • Henry Auvil

      And assigning HazMat suits for the suckers who have to examine it.

  • JWC

    Released but will they’ve factual

  • Henry Auvil

    Will the psychiatric evaluation also be made public?

  • JT
  • kaydenpat

    Will this be an honest medical check up or are we going to get that “he’s the healthiest president ever” nonsense? He doesn’t appear to be in the best physical or mental state. Overweight and delusional.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I think anything that doesn’t acknowledge obesity is garbage.

    • RoFaWh

      He doesn’t weigh 236 lbs. 326 lbs is more like it and I’d guess in the range 350-400 lbs.

  • coram nobis

    Can we get a second opinion?

    • johncAtl

      We could. But Hillary can’t stop laughing at 236 pounds.

  • j.martindale

    I know I am a bad person, but could they please tell him he has hours to live?

  • OdieDenCO

    everything SHS says is a lie. saying the results will be released can be no more.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Many of the best people are saying that the proctologist may finally recover his head

  • misterjack

    If they poke Orangeturd with a needle, will
    gravy pour out?

  • Ben in Oakland

    I would not want to be testing him for a hernia.

    • johncAtl

      Why not? His balls are smaller than his fingers.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Melania bought herself some life insurance for Christmas and they need a real EOI?

  • MBear

    If that bloated mass of vileness is 236 lbs then im the fkng queen of china

    • Mueller Abides

      I’m setting the over under at 280.

  • Scout
  • Henry Auvil

    Hopefully, they’ll escort him out of the examining room in a straightjacket.

  • GeoffreyPS

    Will there be a drug screening? The suspicion some have is that his odd behavior is due (in part) to long term use of diet pills, aka prescription meth.

    • William

      The doctors could test hair for drugs, if Trump has any actual hair that grew from his own body.

  • Scout
    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Now if only the corporate heads of MSNBC would stop trying to turn it into Faux lite.

      • johncAtl

        MSNBC Comcast.

    • easygoingmister

      Rachel is what switched my 76 year old Dad from watching Fox News.

      • JCF

        The Power of the Lesbian Compels You!

        😉

  • Lazycrockett
    • Treant

      More fucking of each other’s relatives than an Alabama or Mississippi family reunion.

    • William

      Oopsie, there goes the ‘blame it on Hillary’ campaign.

  • coram nobis

    Is this a good time to talk about the saving power of Roto-Rooter?

    • Natty Enquirer

      Get thee down the drain, troubles!

      • Lumpy Gaga

        I’d need 2000 flushes for that.

  • Treant

    OT: They’re gone. House temperature is down to a nice 68 and still falling, with the temperature outside down to 10 and also falling.

    • Lazycrockett

      According to the weather lady we are all freezing to death this weekend.

    • Hue-Man

      It’s strange how our internal thermostats can vary so much. I spoke at a conference (in the winter time) where the assistant had her own small support office that was a tropical 34C (93F). She said that her mother had always heated their house that way and she was used to it. On the other hand, I have my thermostat set at 16C (61F) and find parts of my place too warm!

      • It’s funny how that works. When I first moved to Flori-duh, I could not fall asleep at any temperature higher than 71F. I now have the thermostat set at 77 at night – . Anything lower and I am shivering. This helps keep the AC electric bills down- but it is unintentional. I only run heat three nights a year when it gets in the low 50’s (or lower) here. Your internal thermostat sets itself.

        • TampaDink

          We moved from Tampa to Tallahassee earlier this month, today there was nearly a 30 degree difference. Also, we now live in a house with a second floor, being the colder of the two of us, I opted for the 2nd floor master….I’ve been bumping the thermostat (which is upstairs) up to 72 at night, we’ve been keeping it at 68.

    • Treant

      And my middle niece left without her shoes while the eldest left without all of her Christmas gifts.

      How do you forget your shoes?

    • johncAtl

      Good. But your body temperature won’t normalize for days after that 80 degree temperature you posted earlier. That might have put me in a coma.

      • Treant

        65.5! I do feel better already, but I got sort of nappy while cleaning up.

    • William

      Did you perform an exorcism or chase after them with yard implements?

      • Treant

        I did reprogram the thermostats. Does that count?

        My husband and I griped bitterly about them when they left; none of them brought weather-appropriate and household-appropriate clothing. The current temperature indoors is 66–still a bit warm–and I’m sitting here in heavy cotton pajamas and a very heavy velour robe. With heavy socks. I’m actually a bit on the warm side.

        Them? Light cotton T-shirts and no socks. Of course they’re cold.

  • Lazycrockett
    • safari

      “…and I still hired him.”

    • Treant

      The problem, “dear” Dumpy, is not that he worked for others, but that he did illegal things at your request.

      We know you’re fucking stupid. But do try to keep up.

    • safari
      • Lumpy Gaga

        Picture of health.

        • bzrd

          isn’t it?
          what’s wrong with the left wrist?

          • It looks like edema (fluid retention) in upper arms. That creates the “dimpling” effect. Not good. Could be signs of either the beginning of onset heart failure, type 2 diabetes, kidney issues, other cardiovascular issues — or something else.
            https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/159111.php

          • William

            My late ex had pretty severe edema in his legs, once the cancer took over. He ended up wearing the kind of velcro shoes that are used with foot casts.

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Circulation. He does not haz. One is in trouble if your socks do that to you. IDEK what to say about that. He may be dead already.

    • clay

      And how long did he work for the Russians?

  • Lazycrockett

    Joy!!

  • Lazycrockett
    • DaddyRay

      The New York Times has managed to exist for 166 years

    • “They basically have to let me win.”

      He’s insane.

      • JCF

        Totes.

  • Bob Conti

    I don’t even want to think about how they’re going to perform the prostate exam…

  • JaniceInToronto

    More stupid bulllshit news about his excellency.

    Could the media just sort of ignore him a bit? That would be nice.

  • BJORN RAGNVALDR

    O/T Rose Marie passed away. 94.

  • Scout
  • Michael R
  • gaycuckhubby
  • safari

    I bought a TEMS device to help with my sore back. It says not to use it on your shoulders — for obvious reasons like shocking your brain. But I must admit. Aside from the fact my head leaches from side to side with my raising shoulders… it’s quite nice.

    • I’m glad it is making you feel better but take care please! Make sure its safe!

    • clay

      What do the directions say about using it on your taint?

      • safari

        Fort Troff recommends its electrolube.

    • JCF

      Ugh, I tried a TENS, and the next day had TERRIBLE cramps (where I used it). No thank you…

  • Blake J Butler
    • Moebym of the Returners

      I know a Texas doctor (or more properly a medical school professor) who is a Republican: my dad’s best friend. He’s such a smart, kind-hearted man, so it’s really a shame.

      • Blake J Butler

        If he’s a Rockefeller republican ? He’ll probably be in the demographics of republicans moving away from the Republican Party and the demographic that is trending towards democrats.

      • Sporkfighter

        “He’s such a smart, kind-hearted man, so it’s really a shame.”

        Did I miss the /snark tag?

    • I’m a moderately successful independent consultant. Own a pass-thru LLC.

      My taxes are going way up next year.

    • William

      Why are accountants singled out to pay higher taxes?

  • gaycuckhubby

    Speaking of quack doctors, check this shit out

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/946493498156515328

    • safari

      My parents turned him on when I was home. The show is abusive to its participants. Even they recognized it’s gone to complete horrorshow.

      • I happened to catch part of his show once in a waiting room. He’s genuinely abusive toward his guests. Sadistic and cruel.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “…and how does that make you feel?”

      • safari

        “I brought out my wife [tight faced woman] to discuss your [aging problem].”

        “Hydration is what you need. When you hit [age] you need to [verb]. My anti-aging product [Sunshine up your ass] does that with its quadrangular treatment regiment. Just apply each cream once every six hours.”

        “Isn’t that great ladies? And, sweatheart, do you have something else?”

        “Yes. Everyone in the audience gets the Wake Up and Hate Yourself For Getting Old Cream from my line.”

        “Isn’t she great?”

        [applause]

        • safari

          Oh, this happened. With a stunt woman being put on the spot.

      • Robincho

        I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cünt when I see one…

    • Natty Enquirer

      You know McGraw is not an M.D., right? He has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of North Texas.

      • safari

        PhDs are doctors. Just not medical doctors.

        • Natty Enquirer

          Bah. In ordinary conversation, when we say someone is a doctor, we mean M.D. It’s tacky and manipulative to call yourself “Doctor” when you have a Ph.D. and you are outside the academic context.

          • safari

            It is. Which is why most PhDs I know don’t do it.

          • safari

            Though I do get resentful that PhDs were the original doctors and medical doctors stole the title.

          • Natty Enquirer

            Divinity, Law and Medicine are actually older degrees than Philosophy.

          • safari

            I can’t disprove what you said. But I will glare indigently for no other reason than divinity bothers me; law is subject to the masters; and medicine is philosophy of the latter two until recent times.

        • William

          Psychologists talk. Psychiatrists can prescribe medications.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      Thanks for giving all mental health professionals a bad rap, you SOB.

    • Sporkfighter

      If Maury Povich or Howard Stern had studied psychology in college, this is exactly what they’d be doing.

      (1) Never confuse a PhD in psychology with an MD.
      (2) Never confuse a shit-show with evidence-based therapy.
      (3) Never forget “Dr. Phil” gets his money from companies advertising on his daytime television show.

      • safari

        Nah. Every one of them, “Dr. Phil” included are actors.

        • Bambino

          He actually has a drama series call Bull.

    • Lazycrockett

      Its such a shit show to begin with.

    • jimbo65

      Thanks Oprah. One of her mistakes making this guy a thing. Oh, scratch that, there’s also Dr. Oz.

    • TampaDink

      True confession, I used to think he was hot….until he showed who he really is.

    • Lazycrockett

      and to think his wife has nothing better to do than sit in the audience every damn day so she can walk off with him at the end of the show. SMH

  • J Ascher

    Yeah, the only way he weights 236 is if he’s on a tiny meteor out in deep space.

    • Bambino

      Burping all the gases will take while.

    • Bambino

      Or standing on two scales.

  • gaycuckhubby
    • Biggest.
      Mostest.
      Tremendousest
      #winning

    • JCF

      RIP.

  • CB

    Can we screen for syphilis, please?

  • Adam Stevens

    the thought of him doing the treadmill test makes me vomit a lot.

    • JCF

      Not as much as it would (will?) make him vomit!

  • Franciscan

    I hope they can diagnose the cause of his crankiness.

    • Bambino

      I hope the physician take the opportunity to declare emergency health risk that require immediate attention and wheel him off for immediate brain operation and heart transplant.

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        Maybe without the donor heart, I mean, things happen…..

        • Bambino

          Being a douche bag that he is I’m sure any donated heart will be rejected by his body.

          • TampaDink

            Don’t be so sure, anti-resistance drugs are very powerful, Darth Cheney is the best example of this.

          • Who is STILL alive, even after a long stretch with a heart BYPASS machine, that left him with no pulse. Who knew that was even a thing?

  • robert

    ok “our” Orangutan in cheif way heavier than 236 …. just saying …

    • safari

      280. Easily.

      236 was chosen because based on his “official” height it’s at the very end of the spectrum from overweight to obese.

      • Natty Enquirer

        And after his upcoming exam, we will no doubt hear that his BMI is 29.9.

      • Lazycrockett

        Oh so you’re one of those Price is Right people that out bid by 1 dollar?

        • safari

          600lbs, Lazy

    • I picked 279 lbs in the betting JMG pool.

      • William

        Put me down for 367.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      If he were 6’1″ or whatever his height is and 236, he wouldn’t look like that.

      He’s 270 at minimum.

    • robert

      I’m thinking just shy of 400 … all that McDonalds and steak with fires and ketchup takes it’s toll … blubber central …

    • JCF

      [Not that I think we’ll be told, if it’s anything over 250]

      297.

  • jimbo65

    Joy covering the continuing Puerto Rico tragedy. Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz is on. God I can’t believe the ineptness of this piece of shit POTUS and Gop. They’re fucking US citizens!!!!!

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Oh, god, I can’t believe I compared not getting the cat I wanted to the 2016 election loss. I overreact to every little thing these days.

    • TuuxKabin

      You’re not alone. A lot of things set me off as well. That was a major disappointment for you on top of the rest of what you’ve/we’ve had to endure since 11/08/16.

      Holding your hand, a squeeze every now and then.

    • whollyfool

      This year has sucked, and it hasn’t just sucked once, it has sucked since before it started and has kept sucking till the bitter end.

      I think we’re all a bit sensitive right now. I hope you find a cat companion soon.

    • safari

      My dear. We all hurt for reasons only felt by ourselves. They are no less painful than any other.

    • clay

      We feel how we feel. Upon reflection you thought differently. That’s why we need time for reflection.

    • Snarkaholic

      That only proves that you have an enormous heart and care deeply about both people and kitties in need.

    • JCF

      “My name is JC, and I’m powerless over my emotions.”

      Realizing you’re powerless over your emotions, is very freeing. It gives space to choose what you want to DO about these emotions you’re powerless over.

      Check it out, Moebym, you’ll be very welcome: emotionsanonymous.org [You can find a meeting near you]

  • bkmn
    • safari

      It’s not fat that should be shamed.

      But the fat shamers….

      • safari

        (Though I do admit I get a kick out of mocking Chris Christie and Donald sometimes. Just because they are assholes.)

    • Bambino

      Back in the days. This would have been serve at the Viking dinner table. How time has changed.

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        My ancestors wouldd never have served that to anything but their wolves, and that was iffy.

    • fuzzybits

      That’s obscene!!!

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        And that’s before he sharted.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Stop it. You’re giving me a stiffie.

          • 2guysnamedjoe

            Give it back when you’re done with it.

  • Bambino

    Alert the nation to warn everyone to stand back! Dotard is being probe.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/496833a468904e8e3f7a64b1d13cf274ad3f0865b58146d3798ecc36dd6ca7d5.gif

  • Lazycrockett
    • safari

      I love her.

      Her E! show was brilliant.

      “Oh, it was trashy,” one might say. Yes. She knew. And transparently *performed* it as such along with her crew. And she has a heart.

      • Lazycrockett

        I miss the panel discussions. Really wish she had carried that over to her Netflix show.

      • fuzzybits

        Lonnie Love is great too.

        • safari

          You made me literally laugh out loud. She’s a peach.

        • Lazycrockett

          Jen Kirkman
          Jo Koy
          Moshe Kasher
          Sarah Colonna
          Josh Wolfe
          and the adorable Jeff Wild.

    • Rebecca Gardner
  • mikeinftl

    Can you imagine the digital finger exam? Any takers?

  • Bambino

    Mueller might want to take this opportunity to rewire the Russian spyware in dotard ass and have a listen to what information the traitor has been surrendering to Putin.

  • “Senior Trump aide shocked to learn Trump had given the NYT their interview.” <– being noticed now. lol

  • Cuberly Deux

    Uh oh, CNN had Janet Pants-Crapping-Insane Porter on again. I guess that means she’s hired.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/interview-goes-completely-off-the-rails-when-roy-moore-spokesperson-comes-back-to-cnn-for-round-two/

    Apparently Porter is so bad even the resident Trolls of Mediaite won’t stick up for her. Note I linked to the rawstory version…..prefer to keep clicks on mediaite to a minimum.

    • jimbo65

      “Janet Pants-Crapping-Insane Porter ” Ha! I posted on the other thread about her that Joe should have stuck with that pic he used to post of her straining to drop a deuce.

      • Cuberly Deux

        “straining to drop a deuce”….you mean talking?

        He he he ……

  • Lazycrockett

    Joy was on fire.

    • houstonray

      Just watched her with Ari. Wow, she was awesome!!!

  • Lazycrockett
    • clay

      Are we back to 1/3 of the people asking why all the references to Iraqi weapons of mass destruction are in the past perfect tense with no citations later than 1992?

  • Lazycrockett
  • Lazycrockett
  • William

    The letter was written on the doctor’s dead father’s stationary.

  • he’s an old fat slob. i can tell that by looking at him. he probably suffers from a wide range of first world disorders and diseases. and his Dr. Feelgood has been taking care of him for a while, that much is obvious.

    it’s really kind of sad. i’m just a poor black dyke commenting on the interwebs, and even i can tell he’s sick. i’m a compassionate person and normally i’d say “let Grandpa retire in grace and dignity” but for this monster and traitor? all i want for him is that he dies in prison, enjoying the medical care poor black MJ dealers sentenced to life get. that’s fair, right?

    • Ander

      I support this.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Blake J Butler

      In a consensual sense i’d do him.

      • Lazycrockett

        Now I want to rewatch Don’t Trust The Bitch in Apt 23.

    • William

      He played a drug addicted psycho killer on ‘Criminal Minds’. That was the best looking I’ve ever seen him.

      • johncAtl

        I loved that episode. Of course I can watch Criminal Minds repeats over and over.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Mmmmmm.

  • netxtown

    donnie – skip the physical. get a mental exam. it’s your head that’s sick.

  • Hereweare

    Blood type? Russian.

  • Jerry Kott

    One of the major finding will be that he is beyond any reasonable doubt, full of SHIT.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    OT: I wonder how much overlap there is between women who voted for Trump and women who are sincerely on the #MeToo train. I say this due to some of the women who came forward about being creeped on by Roy Moore having voted for Dump.

    • clay

      I wouldn’t be surprised by any number less than 31%.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        My personal theory is that they care but only for other tribe members.

    • the number of black women who voted for trump is lower than the temperature right now. i just want to say that. white people, as always, are responsible for him.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        Oh, I’m not letting them off the hook, especially not after that grotesque display in Alabama where not even multiple accounts of predatory behavior by even cops failed to sway the majority of them from voting for Roy Moore.

        What drives me crazy is reading white evangelical women talking about how this is a big issue in their lives and have actually talked about being creeped on but they don’t acknowledge it’s baked into the very foundation of their churches or do anything that would REALLY change the situation like voting differently or actually leaving. It’s like they can see that their men folk aren’t doing shit to protect them or their daughters but don’t really get that staying part of that system means they’re complicit and sacrificing their daughters to maintain their social standing.

      • johncAtl

        I agree that (ignorant) white people elected Trump. But I was dismayed after the election to find out how many non-white voters went for Trump. If black voters had turned out for Hillary, as they did for Obama in 2008, then she would be the president now.

  • clay

    VA physicians– caught between their sworn duty to their patient and their sworn duty to the nation.

    • William

      Is it wrong to hope that one of them supports Euthanasia?

  • Blake J Butler

    Christmas is over, i survived my extended family and my siblings, my gifts were good one necessary but unconventional for a christmas gift compared to normal circumstances. I ruled in dirty santa with a good haul of gifts that we had bought and my siblings had also bought, since i drew number 1 out of 6 i had first pick on things.

    My trump supporter brother had number 3 and stole my panini maker and Rachael ray cookware set. I got back at him by reclaiming them, he got a red lobster giftcard in exchange since there was one last gift to open and i had first priority of whose gift i wanted.

    Oh and i got blamed sarcastically for colluding with my mother to score more gifts for myself when i drew a slip of paper from a ceramic bowl high above my head and that was just how the cookie crumbled. Partially true since she stole my cookware set and panini maker so that in the end i would have it instead of my siblings since i would use them more. As well as a wine bottle and a decent wine opener.

    • JCF

      I’ve done the “steal each others’ gifts” thing a couple of times, and I just don’t see the point. It’s so passive-aggressive. To me, the value of taking a particular “thing” for myself, is outweighed by the reality of pissing someone off, to do it.

      …whereas I’m just home from my choir party, where we do Secret Santa (actually, we don’t keep it a secret) the fun way: draw names out of a hat. I’m now wrapped up in a wonderful new SF Giants scarf—which couldn’t be more perfect if I’d picked it out myself (my Santa just knows I’m a fan!). Whereas I Santa’d a guy who’s into astronomy, w/ a couple of astrophysics books (from the used bookstore: I think our upper limit is $10 or $15 dollars): Stephen Hawking’s Universe and Einstein’s Telescope (my recipient seemed very pleased). Great party (my stuffed homegrown peppers—huge late crop here in Sacra-tomato this season—were a big hit!).

      Oh, and I’ve seriously got my eye on a woman in choir. 😉 We were really vibing tonight, and I’m getting my hopes up! [Cool, JC, play it cool…]

      • Blake J Butler

        I forget why, it’s recently been adapted to my family, we used to just buy gifts for each other, that got expensive, the kids always got their toys and miscellaneous gifts, the adults brought gifts enough for the adults to play, with no cash limit. This was adopted because it got ridiculously expensive to shop for all kids, the adult children, and their spouses. So we just did dirty santa for the adult children and had regular christmas for the younger kids.

        I originally had my mind set on what i wanted, mainly because i knew what it was since my mom was the one who bagged it. There was only another thing i was considering because it was a wine bottle and had a mysterious box attached to it. I drew a number from a bowl, and from there on was how this event happened.

        My brothers and sisters cheap out with the gifts bought at the last minute and not putting a lot of thought and effort into their purchases including myself and the younger children. And since we didn’t do dirty santa last year, this was the year we did it, and i did for multiple reasons and one of them was because A. this was whatever my gift was going to be this year, B. they were going to have their pick of whatever everyone else got including someone that spent more time and effort into actually thinking of getting something another person would enjoy.

        Made cookies today and the day before yesterday and most of them all they had to do was show up, eat the meal we prepared for that day, open gifts, and then leave a little while later.

        If it were not at home i would not do it elsewhere. But dealing with dotards at the holidays, its my own version of payback.

        Sounds like you had a good evening for yourself.

  • peacfulseas inWA

    Completely O.T. but warms my heart when students begin to understand the feeling of being ” the other “. I wonder how long before liberty counsel ,tonnette and the rest of the righteous do gooders come to stir things up.
    http://www.bellinghamherald.com/news/state/washington/article191874509.html

    • Gretchen

      I love seeing people do the right thing for the right reason. It’s even sweeter when kids lead the way. Good job Vashon Island High School and school board.

      • peacfulseas inWA

        And a principal with a cool name too, Principal Danny Rock. ” “Making bathrooms all-gender is the safest and clearest way to prevent
        students from having to explain or justify their bathroom use to anyone
        else,” said school principal Danny Rock. “It’s something none of us
        should ever had to endure.”

  • William

    Aw no, Rose Marie died. Sally had the best Little Black Book on TV.

    • Lazycrockett

      Til she went on twitter like 6 months ago I thought she was long dead.

      • johncAtl

        So did I. I was happy to learn that someone I loved as a child 50 years ago was still alive.

      • William

        She stuck around long enough to see a movie made about her life and showbiz career. She also was able to make new friends and admirers in the 21st century.

        • Lazycrockett

          I instantly followed her when she signed up, but before that I hadn’t heard a thing bout her for a decade.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Cuberly Deux

      Why does Reid’s analysis scare the crap out of me.

      • JCF

        Because it’s spot on?

        • Cuberly Deux

          (sigh)….yep. 😩😢

    • William

      A very insecure child.

  • Lazycrockett
    • safari

      Sorry. Javascript is a sin in and of itself.

      • johncAtl

        I’m surprised you dignify it by calling it Javascript. ECMAscript has nothing to do with Java.

        • safari

          When we talk to underlings we say “that thing it really is” when discussing it.

          • safari

            Let’s not bog down the world with actual names when it confuses them.

          • safari

            *monitors up-votes*

          • johncAtl

            Geek!

          • safari

            I prefer to think you evaluated my value-added knowledge.

            My business-oriented duplicate has been training me in wordage. Did I do well?

          • johncAtl

            You did. Now lets go get drunk and see how many ways we can code a divide by zero statement.

      • kanehau

        I just discovered PROMISES and am knee-deep in refactoring.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      A bit OT but I hope it’s true golf is declining in popularity.

      https://www.denverpost.com/2017/04/22/why-im-happy-that-golf-is-losing-its-popularity/

      “So critics like me are happy that the game’s popularity is waning.
      According to the National Golf Foundation, a high of 30.6 million golfers in 2003 had been reduced to 24.7 million by 2014. The number of golfers between ages 18 and 34 has declined by 30 percent over the past 20 years.

      Millennials are apt to find the game far too slow — five hours or more to finish 18 holes — for their 21st century tastes. They are also typically more open-minded than their elders, and therefore tend to be turned off by the racism, sexism and snobbery that have long been associated with the country club scene. The ultimate result is that more than 800 courses across America have closed in a decade. Some of these courses have become housing developments, others parks, and a few landowners have taken advantage of tax breaks by donating their properties to nature trusts.”

      • safari
        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          The problem with sports is how expensive the live tickets are. It also doesn’t help when teams keep asking for free or well-subsidized stadiums. I think it’s like the movie ticket problem writ large where people have to balance cost vs. value.

          • safari

            I just don’t get sportsball. It doesn’t entertain me. It does others. I laugh at “Walmart Wolverines” that wear U of M clothing but could never afford to go there on scholarship or through graft. I understand the idea of talent, but the entire “pay for my sportsball complex, it’ll make money” fails. Every time.

          • Skeptical_Inquirer

            I’m not into sports, either. The only time I bother to watch sports is the Olympics and that’s for gymnastics, ice skating, diving, things that aren’t that big or at least not crazy big like football.

            I also have major problem with the scholarships where students create huge pro-level amount of profit for the business but are unable to share in that to maintain a fiction of them being primarily students when they’d get kicked out if they didn’t continue playing ball.

            I prefer people actually play sports and not watch others do it for them.

          • safari

            I cannot fully grok what you posted at this time.

          • Steve Smith

            Watching rugby with nice big men in small shorts can be interesting for a time.

          • JCF

            You probably have to introduced to it an early age…and then it still probably appeals to the [can I say this?] comparatively more masculine brain (male, female or intersex). The hunters, more than the gatherers (I know, that’s writ incredibly large). Instead of tribe bringing home the mammoth, the team is bringing home the pennant. Yay Team! Let us all feast on our victory…

            http://mlb.mlb.com/images/4/5/8/98784458/101614_sf_walkoff_twitter_uafhirlo.gif

      • Lars Littlefield

        I believe it. At almost every garage sale I go to has one or more bags of golf clubs for sale — cheap.

        • safari

          My duplicate and I went to the larger “antique” store in our area and encountered the “throw the golf clubs here” section.

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          I don’t go to garage sales so I didn’t know that. I’m surprised anybody would buy them new if old slightly used ones are so plentiful.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        More open-minded and environmentally conscious. Golf courses use ridiculous amounts of water.

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          The writer also mentioned how unnatural and expensive it is to maintain that “look.” If I were a mayor of a city in a drought stricken area, I would push to ban golf courses and restrict lawns.

        • JCF

          And pesticides/herbicides.

      • Renfield

        Maybe the most boring game,ever.

        • William

          Watching golf on TV is the most boring.

        • Snarkaholic

          “Golf is men in ugly pants…walking.”
          ~Rosie O’Donnell

    • Scout

      The projection.

    • Max_1

      I took the survey… And filled in the comments according to the questions:

      1) Only approvals as the choices for Trump? North Korea does that shit.
      2) Comparing Trump to Obama is like dick measuring contest against John Holmes.
      3) Propagating “Fake News” is what totalitarian authoritarians do. Think Stalin, Hitler, etc. No difference in the level of PROPAGANDA.

  • Scout
    • Treant

      The NYT seems all over the place for the last several years. When Comedy Central is doing better reporting than you are, it’s time to inspect what you’re doing…

      • safari

        I don’t understand what the NYT business model is. I suspect they don’t either.

        Copy editors? Fuck ’em.

        Science writers? Add the anti-science skeptics.

        Political coverage? Apologize for being anti-Hillary bitches to get subscribers but continue to be bitches for “fairness”

        • Treant

          Their model seems to be to drive off the sensible folks so they can be as lax as they wanna be. Certainly, for the most part, I’m long gone. It was the bad science that did me in, and their issues with H. Clinton drove the final nail in the coffin.

          • safari

            I don’t know if they are publicly traded or not. Frankly, I don’t care. But if I were vested in them I’d ask:

            What the hell is your purpose?

          • Renfield

            I don’t read their science section all that much. What do you mean by “bad science”?

          • Treant

            Poorly sourced, flat out wrong on the face of it (for the few sciences where I can critique that), or written so badly you can’t decipher what they’re trying to say.

            Not to mention giving a great deal of ink to the anti-vax movement as though they were legitimate, and so on and so on and so on.

        • William

          A friend of mine was a copy editor at the Times. He was laid off, along with a slew of other staffers more than five years ago. Some of their jobs were outsourced to an office in Florida.

      • Dazzer

        The CEO of the New York Times is Mark Thompson, a one-time Director-General of the BBC.

        On paper, he looks like he has all the requirements for an intelligent, rational adult.

        However, during his time at the BBC he was notable for being useless and unimaginative – and pushing for an editorial line of ‘balance’ that included putting any old rabidly ant-gay organisation up against elected gay politicians, utter freaks against Nobel-winning scientists and far-right extremists against … well… the rest of society.

        Needless to say, he left the BBC in a far worse state than when he joined it.

        It’s also worth pointing out that he’s a Conservative and a devout Roman Catholic (educated by Jesuits – so he’s an expert in moral equivocation).

        In my long and considered view of the man: he’s a lickspittle toady of the Establishment.

        He brings constant shame to the UK now that he’s so important at the New York Times.

        You can read his (highly edited, I assume) profile on Wikipedia, which might explain exactly why the NYT is in the shape it’s in.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Thompson_(media_executive)

        • Treant

          He sounds delightful. Truly.

  • Blake J Butler
  • boobert

    EWW !!!! That means someone will see him naked. I pity the fool !

  • boobert

    Interesting topic at hubby’s after Christmas family get together tonight. Maybe a trump win was done on purpose to get rid of him for good. If Hillary had one , he and his followers would be screaming till the end of time on how it was rigged. By putting him in office and coming up with iron clad proof of his incompetence, they will be able to silence him for good. Imprisonment would be a plus. Who knows? It could happen !

    • I still think the real Russian goal was a badly crippled Clinton presidency faced with a GOP majority Congress.

  • White Canary

    Hopefully his last.

  • DaddyRay
    • That’s gonna be horrific when it grows back in. Can you just imagine the itching & ingrown hairs?

      • Seriously, that much hair begs for a good waxing.

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          Maybe he’s afraid of the pain since he has a lot of it to pull out.

    • Treant

      I liked him better furry.

      • DaddyRay

        Same here, he had some pretty cool hair

      • Cuberly Deux

        Heh heh…yup.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      It’s going to be really itchy when it grows back.

    • peacfulseas inWA

      WHY?? At least leave some chest hair dude. I removed back hair on 2 male clients and had an older Greek fellow who had me thin out his uni- eyebrow . The guy in the video I could have had a house on all the continents except Antarctica. I don’t do cold. It’s called hypertrichosis. I’m a ,mostly, retired electrologist and have had guys like this come to me for removal. I send them for laser treatments. This guy could have laser done in the areas he presently shaves everyday and be done with it. But why?

      • Max_1

        He said he was going to enter a body fitness competition…
        … This means bikini lines need some attention.

        Is there a follow-up video? Askin’ for a friend.

        • peacfulseas inWA

          Oh, silly me I had the sound off. It helps me c o n c e n t r a t e. Bikini line, Yes.

    • Rob NYNY

      Maybd he could get the tattoos removed? That would be a good start.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Well that was just sad. I couldn’t watch once the razor started.

  • Blake J Butler
    • Max_1
      • Blake J Butler

        The article states that he is firm with rural voters, one claiming that because the democrats never worked with him on anything, and that her son worked in the coal mine they needed to work with her son to help him, etc. Blah blah blah.

        Yeah he wins with the poorly educated, or the willfully retarded as i put them.

        The metoo movement and the serious derogatory and horrific comments from baby huey are turning college educated women from potentially voting republican, and may be driving them to go out and vote in droves.

        • Max_1

          IMO… They’re the demographic that CAN metaphorically grab back. They need to tell herstory about why anyone of them would fall for him, and what was that moment like when they opened their eyes to him… Maybe even some of them came from that rural Trump valley of nowhere, nohow, and noway even moderately educated folk.

    • white “educated” priv’d women who voted for him? wow do i have bad things to say about them. on every level. gee, honies. maybe you’ve heard those jokes. barns, doors, horses, etc. thanks for being the reason (statistically significant, unlike some folks others blame) that we have a syphilitic traitor as our president.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      What irks me is that it takes having The Republic of Freaking Gilead on their doorstep to make the white segment go “Hmmm, this could be bad.”

      • Blake J Butler

        Take out the college educated women that vote democratic for their own reasons and examine republican leaning and unaffiliated college educated voters. Republican college educated voters may be willing to vote republican because of lower taxes, maybe more attracted to a candidate of a moderate but that label is thrown around so much with anti-choice representatives that they may realize that despite their education credentials, and their income, they are not exempt from republican policies with regards to women. Which is the truth regardless of who the person is, the GOP is who they are not for the people. It may come from realization that their privilege will not save them from their policies.

        Throw in the fact that we have a daily rollercoaster online and on tv about the demented demagogue and his horrific things he has said and admitted to towards women, he’s opened pandora’s box where that demographic is looking to break away from the GOP in droves at least in 2018 and bigly.

        • say what you want. here are some facts. women are more than half the voting population. black women make up less than 12% of the population. voting wise, it’s even lower. hispanic women, also too. white women are the reason the traitor got the cover he needed to pretend to being actually “elected.” if just 5% more of white women had voted for HRC, she would have won enough the russians would not have been able to steal it.

          now, it’s your turn to tell us all about how your favorite scapegoats, bernie supporters and the far left, who make a miniscule percentage of the actual state by state voting numbers, are “responsible” for the failure of the dems and her party. the truth is that non-voters cost her the election (in addition to the russians) and if even a tiny percentage of those people had actually voted? she would be our president now.

          i heard this over and over, while canvassing. did you do any of that in 2016, or this year? anyway, white women liked the traitor, why? because they did not vote, and the ones who did? chose a belief that the traitor would bring them lower taxes and more money to send their kids to private/charter schools. so many women in my family are like this, and the really sad part, and i will own this, is?

          rich women of color voted for the traitor as well. their votes didn’t throw the election, is my only point.

  • Blake J Butler

    I’m kind of having a crush on Renato Mariotti for attorney general of Illinois.

    https://youtu.be/xI5oRmxOieM

    • safari

      I know nothing of this man.

      Don’t set your heart on an Illinois state politician. No one can save them.

      • upvoting this a great deal. IL politics are… disheartening.

      • Blake J Butler

        I’m in for looks at the moment, i have several dozens in that criteria so don’t hold me to it that much. I’m still betting on a Jared Polis governorship next year.

        • safari

          And I’m old enough to not look up names to warn.

          • Blake J Butler

            Mine they come and go, and then some linger like Brian Sims.

          • safari

            Politicians are of a breed that want to do good based upon their morality. The gay ones, or those raised gay-loving, are good people.

            Never forget they are politicians. Even good or wonderful ones.

          • safari

            *makes a cocktail; strong. stares into the moon.*

            Good ones.

      • SoCalGal20

        He’a awesome on Twitter. He’s also a consultant for MSNBC. The guy will make an awesome AG.

  • fuzzybits
  • Blake J Butler

    Um……….. No…………… Fatman…………….

    https://twitter.com/angela_rye/status/946629057646440449

  • Blake J Butler

    Um……….. No…………… Fatman…………….

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/946627114358525953

    • safari

      The rule of law is at an end. We’re at a once in a century event.

      I won’t enjoy it, but I tell those that are worried: “Oh, look, such a story.”

    • Max_1
      • safari

        Oh. The end of a … not a chapter or book but a volume.

        Turning the page worries me.

        • coram nobis

          End of Volume 1, Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

          • safari

            Nah. Don’t be so dramatic.

            9/11: Part [something]. Stupidity reigns.

          • DaddyRay

            I do feel like I am living through some dark times – it has been slow moving but with each passing day I feel like the line of absurdity just keeps getting pushed a little further

          • safari

            It’s all been written. That’s not to say the text is holy. But, the artists have known.

          • William
      • This is both true…and not quite true. I remember 1973. Congressional Republicans fought the Watergate investigations.

        Not quite as hard as they do now. Not with as much overt disrespect for the nation’s law enforcement and intelligence communities.

        But throughout that long, long year, we had no reason to believe Nixon would ever actually face justice for the crimes he ordered committed, even as those around him began to be indicted and charged.

        Then came the tapes. And further revelations about what he’d been ordering, and the coverup. And one day, something suddenly snapped, and the GOP told him not only would they no longer block impeachment charges, they’d vote to convict in the Senate. Because they finally accepted that staying loyal to Nixon would cost them and their party more than finally getting rid of him.

        • William

          The Watergate hearings had Barbara Jordan.

        • safari

          The GOP have had two generations to bind with Christianity and, regardless, blind faith. I am concerned.

        • Lazycrockett

          Unless the Party is being blackmailed by Putin. Which makes total sense when you see how the GOP has embraced Drumpf in the last couple of months.

    • William
    • He truly believes he is a dictator.

      He needs to learn ASAP that isn’t true. Ideally as he’s being frogmarched out of the White House.

      • Lazycrockett

        Until Congress calls him out he basically is.

        • JCF

          Maybe, maybe not. It’s only a scholarly OPINION, that a sitting President can’t be indicted in criminal courts. Mueller’s crew may test that.

        • LesbianTippingHabits

          It’s really up to Congress to start the process.

          That’s why it’s so important for everyone – including Colin Kaepernick – to register and vote in 2018.

      • Longpole

        Dictator-that’s why the Deplorable’s say he is doing/getting more done than any recent president since Reagan.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      He firmly believes that the US is a failing corporation and he is a CEO above even the smallest of laws. The DOJ is part of that corporation out to get him and thus the entirety of the organization that he heads, so they must be vanquished immediately.

      God, what a fuckhead.

  • Max_1

    Has this been posted… ?
    “He said yes! Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with Chasten Glezman.”
    ~ Peter Buttigieg

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/946624588624121856

  • Richard B

    They should be testing Trump for his mental fitness and publically reporting the results.

  • mattdocmartin

    You may know his doctor: Doctor Vinny Boombatz.

  • safari

    My good friend gifted me homemade moonshine. He said if it failed, it’ll start an engine. Wish me luck.

    • safari

      It’s “apple jack” if that sweetens our pot.

      • Lazycrockett

        be careful best to go slow with MS to figure out the proof, which depends on the order of pour.

        • safari

          The proof I can understand. Everclear cauterizes the throat.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Someone told me that you should pour a small sample and set it on fire. If it has a nice blue flame then OK to drink. Any other color and it’s down the sink. Also if it has a weird chemical odor, then also down the sink.

      • safari

        I’m mixing it with grapefruit.

        • William

          You don’t want to go blind from a bad batch of homemade hooch. Visit Poland, it’s shocking to see how many people are blind or have a Jake leg from drinking poorly distilled booze.

      • Lazycrockett

        The first jar of the first batch is going to have a higher proof than the 2nd jar , even if distilled with water and so on and so on……..

    • The_Wretched

      Given the precision needed to avoid methanol contamination, I’d skip it.

  • Steverino

    Physical? How about a mental?

  • Chris Gardner

    I’m waiting for them to find 666 marked on his scalp under that toupee. LOL

  • Ninja0980

    RIP Rose Marie.

  • Rebecca Gardner
    • Oscarlating Wildely

      And was Jerusalem builded here among these dark Satanic mills?

    • Reality.Bites

      A bit pointless, really. The Christians who support Trump don’t consider a CofE bishop to be a Christian.

      • JCF

        I’m sure there are exceptions which prove the rule, but mostly, yeah.

      • Steve Smith

        In reality, they don’t even consider Christ to be a christian.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Once again, for now, the only thing protecting us from the fucking insanity is our courts.

    https://twitter.com/Helenhs/status/946659547594321920

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Hear, hear. I recall this case. It was argued that by its very nature the Mexican Studies program was teaching people to be insurrectionists. Never mind that not a single GOPer could specify any contributions to the United States from Mexico but they had already decided that any lesson to teach others about Mexico inherently meant the Burning of the Capital Part Deux (Canadian Studies will be next, trust me.)

  • Karl Dubhe 2

    Oh, for the love of Bob… Trump gave a ‘free-flowing’ interview to the NYT. He’s utterly mad, makes King George look sane.

    https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/12/28/us/politics/trump-interview-mueller-russia-china-north-korea.html?referer=https://t.co/8KLy7bCL5n

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Clearly the junk food eating shit gibbon is in far better shape than our last president. NOT!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe91568ca46c746159d5aa125c6cf5fb7e5648a9e0bd8a6fecbb9e071bdab66e.jpg

  • anne marie in philly

    one look at the dude and knowing what he eats and how he speaks…SICK MOFO! 25th amendment now!

  • lymis

    Wait for it…

    “The obviously incompetent, unprofessional, and fraudulent physical performed by the military doctors at Walter Reid simply prove how outdated and inadequate the entirely military medical system is. We will be privatizing it as soon as we can figure out who I’ll get the most money from by selling it to them.”

  • SDG

    So, I am guessing, at the minimum, HBP, Type II Diabetes, he doesn’t drink, so his liver may be ok… I will also guess his CRP (C-reactive protein) is also off the charts, along with his triglycerides. He also may be taking meds for all of these, so the results may pop -… but who knows what they will and will not say.

  • Will Parkinson

    Add in a brain scan, please. Though I’m sure you won’t find anything.

  • 🙄🙄 here we go….
    Trump talking to the NYT. Even if there was collusion with Russia, it’s not a crime. 🙄🙄
    Hadn’t he said that there was no communication with Russia?
    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/366746-trump-even-if-there-was-collusion-with-russia-its-not-a-crime

  • Reality.Bites

    Well of course his blood pressure is good. It doesn’t have to get up to his brain.

  • Xaca

    Fake physical, fake news. Exam should be public, televised, conducted by a bi-partisan panel of dementia specialists.

  • SelectFromWhere

    Oh please, as if we will get any actual results. I don’t want to see his massively-elevated cholesterol levels anyway–and imagine having to give him the rubber-glove test….

  • Jay Silversmith

    After careful editing and numerous re-writes, “Sanders has said the results will be released after the physical.”

  • normadesmond
  • Slippy_World
  • seant426

    And the results will truly be FAKE NEWS! #winning!!!!!!!!!!

  • yes b’y
    • Bj Lincoln

      I laughed so hard! Thanks.

      • yes b’y

        yw

  • -M-

    Remember they fudged his height to get his BMI to come up (just) short of the obese range.

  • Randy

    Any health issues can always be blamed on Obama and Hillary.

  • That pig no more weighs 236 pounds than I do.

  • Gianni

    Donnie should have a thorough psych exam before anything else. Mentally he isn’t as grounded as one would expect the president to be. The mental decline has noticeably picked up speed during this first year. By the end of his four years, he’s likely to be completely incomprehensible.

  • Connie

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • M Jackson