Dance Of The Sugar Plum Lesbians

This story makes its fourteenth annual appearance on JMG…

Grand Central Terminal functions as the mechanical heart of midtown New York City, pumping out several thousand workers and tourists on one beat, then sucking in several thousand more on the next.

The rhythms of the terminal are fascinating.

Beat. Four thousand, inbound from New Haven.

Beat. Three thousand, outbound to Westchester.

Worlds collide on the main floor.

The tourists gawk up at the gloriously ornate ceiling and uselessly flash their digital cameras at objects hundreds of feet away.

The commuters rush up to the track displays to determine their track number, then dart across the terminal floor, dodging the milling tourists, heads down, like running backs heading for the end zone.

It’s mesmerizing. It’s majestic.

And sometimes, like tonight, it’s magical.

I’m walking through the massive main room just as the holiday laser show begins on the ceiling. To the tune of Take The “A” Train, the laser depicts two trains arriving from different directions. The trains stop opposite each other and a reindeer leaps out of each one and crosses over to the opposite train.

The laser traces the outline of one of the zodiac constellations painted on the ceiling. The Cancer crab leaps to life and becomes the Crab Conductor, waddling down the center aisle of the car, punching the reindeers’ ticket stubs with his claws.

I move over to the edge of the room, near the entrance for Track 25, so I can watch the reaction to the show. As usual, I’m more entertained by watching the audience than by watching the actual show.

At the ticket windows, standing in front of signs that say “Harlem Line” or “Hudson Line”, commuters tilt their heads painfully back to view the show directly overhead. The tourists cluster in delighted circles, holding each others’ elbows for balance as they nearly bend over backwards.

Some people move to the edges of the great hall, as I have, to remove themselves from the traffic flow while they watch. Among those that come to join me on the perimeter of the room is a lesbian couple. They stand quite close to me, the taller woman behind the shorter one, with her arms wrapped around her, supporting her a bit as they both lean back on the marble wall.

The shorter woman is stout with a large firm chest. Her hair is short and brushed back into what might have once been called a ducktail. She has an ornate tattoo on her left forearm and she has a leather wallet protruding from the rear pocket of her jeans, attached to her leather belt by a short silver chain. She has more than a passing resemblance to Tony Danza, her big boobs notwithstanding, so naturally (in my head) I name her Toni.

Toni’s girlfriend is blond and her short ponytail dangles just above her collar. She is wearing long Christmas tree earrings which nearly brush her shoulders. Her lanky, sinewy limbs are bound in a tight running outfit, over which she is wearing a school athletic jacket. I imagine that she might be a coach at Yale or Harvard, perhaps a girls lacrosse coach, or maybe track and field.

Coach is squeezing Toni tightly and they bounce together to the music a bit. Coach looks over at me and catches me smiling. She nudges Toni, who looks over at me too, and we all grin goofily at each other for a moment.

Overhead, a new show begins. The familiar opening notes of Tchaikovsky’s Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies ring out as the Empire State and the Chrysler buildings sprout arms, bow to each other, and begin waltzing across the ceiling.

I look around the room and it’s as if time was frozen for just a second, every person stopped in mid-stride, eyes cast upward, mouths open in silent joy.

Toni pushes away from Coach, turns around and delivers her a bow as deep and as elegant as the one just depicted overheard.

“Madame, may I please have this dance?” she asks Coach.

Coach looks around a bit awkwardly. “You are TOO much!” And she giggles.

“Madame, I must insist!” says Toni, as she takes Coach’s hands into hers.

Coach relents and she and Toni begin a beautiful, slow waltz, moving in half-time to the music. As you might have guessed already, Toni leads.

As they dance, their eyes remain locked on each other. Toni is giving Coach an intense look, her lips tightly curled into a satisfied smile. Coach is grinning from ear to ear and again, she giggles.

All around Coach and Toni, the tourists, the businessmen, the students, the conductors, even the guy with a broom – they’re all watching. Some are expressionless, but more are smiling, and some of them…some of them are frantically fussing with their cameras, eager to capture this magical New York Moment.

Serendipity prevails, the tune ends, and Toni dips Coach backwards with a dramatic up-sweep of her free arm as a firestorm of camera flashes erupt around them. Toni pulls Coach up and close to her and they hug. There’s another camera flash and the crowd begins to move along.

Then.

“Hey, look!”

The laser show is being concluded with giant sprigs of mistletoe appearing over our heads. This time it’s Coach who bends down and plants a long tender kiss on Toni’s non-lipsticked mouth. There’s another flash of cameras from the delighted audience.

Toni takes Coach’s hand and they begin to move off towards the exit.

“Oh, don’t stop!” says a disappointed woman, still rummaging for her camera.

Toni looks back over her shoulder and says, “I never will.”

Grand Central Terminal, the mechanical heart of New York City, beats again. But this time I hear a different rhythm. This time I hear a double beat.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYBODY!

  • Treant

    Just for tonight, Merry Christmas! Tomorrow I’ll go back to the more generic.

    We still have two hours before we leave for my cousins’ and the usual frenetic and loud party punctuated by occasional arguments. My BiL and SiL and the nieces arrive mid-afternoon tomorrow; my eldest niece just had four wisdom teeth removed and Is Not Happy.

    • gaycuckhubby

      Have fun! I’ll be spending the day with my parents, my brother and his wife, and their two fantastic kids.
      We’ll do our best to ignore our parents passive-aggressive comments about our lives. ☺️

      • Treant

        “But Mom! He keeps trying to get me pregnant! Sometimes two or three times a night! I must be sterile.”

      • Ninja0980

        Will be doing the family with the parents and my siblings and their kids.
        Will be a crazy but fun time!

  • gaycuckhubby

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • Webster

    And the heart of the good, gay Tchaikovsky looked down on them and smiled… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/758f3eeb1296415b9a7a44ee787081afa7777825cabbeb531870154539170bba.png

  • greenmanTN

    Thanks, Joe!

    Time for me to start prepping Xmas eve dinner for my sister and myself: shrimp, sun dried tomatoes, garlic, spinach, Parmesan….

    • fuzzybits

      Yum!

    • Cackalaquiano

      I finished my prep early for once – zucchini casserole, praline mustard glazed ham, and latkes even though we’re not remotely Jewish.
      Have a great one GM! I always enjoy your humor here.

    • Scott Carpenter

      I just put a tray of pecan shortbread cookies into the oven, a turkey breast is in the other oven (because hubs likes turkey) and tomorrow there will be rib roast (because I like beef). Potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, steamed vegetables of many kinds.
      For just today and tomorrow, I’m pretending everything is all right.

      • greenmanTN

        Sounds wonderful!

      • Cattleya1

        Latkes, Almond encrusted cod, and my Mom’s Date Nut Pudding here.

    • AJ Drew
      • greenmanTN

        You too, AJ!

  • RobynWatts

    Thank you, Joe. I’ve always enjoyed reading this every year.

    To all, have a wonderful holiday!!!!🥗

  • -M-

    I love your stories Joe, especially this one. Keep reposting them for years to come.

  • David Walker

    I look forward to this wonderful story every year. Thank you, Joe, for writing it and for sharing it. Hope your holidays are excellent.

  • BearEyes

    Thank you for all you do, Joe.
    A wave to the gone but not forgotten Birdie
    And Happy Holidays everyone!

  • Blake Mason

    Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

  • GayOldLady

    My favorite JMG recollection. I look forward to it every year. Thanks Joe, Merry Xmas and Happy New Year.

    • Nychta

      Me too! I even thought of it last night as I drifted off to sleep, hoping that Joe would post it today or tomorrow.

  • jerry
  • fuzzybits

    Happy Holidays Mr. Jervis.

  • fuzzybits
  • billbear1961
  • GanymedeRenard

    It’s always a beautiful experience to re-read this one, Joe. Thank you for building this wonderful community! Have a very happy Solstice! Big hugs. 🙂

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt3oAyK_IG8

  • Colonel Panic.

    Muppet Christmas Carol and the Dance of the Sugar Plum Lesbians. Christmas is here, and may I wish you all a peaceful Christmas and hope for the new year.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    I can’t believe it’s been 14 years and this story still makes my heart fill with joy every year.

    I love Joe’s annual posts for certain holidays. Please never stop Joe, and Thank You!

  • JT
  • LesbianTippingHabits

    Thanks to JMG for sharing such a great story – again.

    Celebrate the holidays! Tip generously for good service.

    Remember, tips are good karma. And karma never lies. Just ask Roy Moore.

    And only the wait staff knows for sure.

    So, tip generously for good service to celebrate the holidays and all year round!

  • TheManicMechanic

    I remember the first publishing of this story. It never gets old, and, to me, is a part of Christmas canon on the level of A Christmas Carol.

    • Reality.Bites

      Where’s Anastasia Beaverhausen today? She’s the only one who can compare the first publication of both.

      • TheManicMechanic

        OH SNAP

  • Slippy_World
    • Acronym Jim

      Hansen & Sons: Trimming the Bushes AND the Trees since 1933.

    • Blake J Butler

      Daddy on the left and i would have to see the fronts as i’ve already seen the backs on the men in the center and right.

    • BearEyes

      my lawn needs servicing.

    • anne marie in philly

      now THAT is a holiday card!

    • JT

      “For any job you need, we’ll get our backs and our butts into it!”

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Hello? Home Depot? I need a lawn. STAT.”

    • Stogiebear

      Something tells me all the sons in the Hansen family are “adopted.” Merry Christmas, indeed!

  • Cackalaquiano

    I always love this story.
    A joyful and peaceful holiday to all of you in JMG land!

  • GanymedeRenard

    I’ll also take this opportunity to wish you all, my fellow JMGers, a very merry Solstice (or Christmas or Saturnalia or whichever festivity you choose to celebrate this time of the year)!

    Thank you all for making my life less miserable everyday! In keeping with the spirit of the ambiance, I’ll share two of my favorite seasonal tunes. Per the first one, I’m not Christian, or religious for that matter, but what I love about this particular interpretation is its beautifully pagan take on a traditional carol. The second is a traditional Catalan Christmas tune played in a Renaissance-ish style. Love them both, and hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlsJD8RlhbI

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uxjEd3_7Ok

    • bzrd

      The video for the first one makes it fantastic.
      Thank you for sharing these joyous tunes, GanymedeRenard

      • GanymedeRenard

        My pleasure, bzrd! Hugs!

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      Merci pour ces belles trouvailles, GanymèdeRenard. Joyeux Noël! 🎅🏼🎄

      • GanymedeRenard

        Il est toujours mon plaisir, M Bohomme ! Mes calins à vous deux, et joyeuses festivités !

  • Reality.Bites

    The best new Christmas tradition… high school boyfriend duets.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ja9JLuGryU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI5HsumHFzg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp1IkhgsmyE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bzbbhknK-Y

    Yeah that’s right, bitches. We stole God’s rainbow and we’re taking back Christmas too!

  • Lazycrockett
  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Have a Wonderful Holiday Joe. Much love from the us Snow Bunnies in Canada.

    https://youtu.be/qJ_MGWio-vc

    • Reality.Bites

      You know I’ve hated that song all my life, since I saw “Richie” perform it on the Alan Brady Show when I was 5 ½. I’d watch this, but it would only make me start hating Pentatonix.

    • Acronym Jim

      Absolutely gorgeous. Thank you. My personal experience with this song was quite a bit different from Reality Bites’ experience. As a young gayling, I first heard this song on the stop-motion Rankin Bass version of the story and had a mini-crush on the Little Drummer Boy.

  • Acronym Jim

    May Santa bring you all everything you desire.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BcRgIFtIUAADjWi.jpg

    • JT

      I want everything that’s in that sack.

      • Acronym Jim

        So you want a yule log and a couple of ornaments. Got it.

        Me too.

        • djcoastermark

          Hey, the tree they’re hanging from aint bad either !

    • anne marie in philly

      I want THAT in my stocking!

    • Rick Zajac

      Wow!

    • ScottSinEC

      Yes please!

  • SoCalGal20

    I love this story! Thank you for posting it again, Joe!

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra
    • Treant

      That tattooed X he has means he’s only ever been to first base, right?

      • Mike_in_the_Tundra

        It’s the Roman numeral for 10. Figure it out.

        • Treant

          Only ten partners? Sad.

          • Reality.Bites

            He’s not advertising total. He’s advertising capacity.

          • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

            Ha!

          • Mike_in_the_Tundra

            Now there is the difference between a pessimist and an optimist.

  • bkmn

    I hope every has a good holiday and rests up for a busy 2018. We have a lot of work ahead of us to try to right the country.

    • William

      My sweetie is in his traditional holiday snit. I have to keep reminding myself that murder is illegal.

      • Reality.Bites

        I just sent mine off to his parents. We’ll do our Christmas after he gets back.

        (Before you start thinking of homophobic parents or something, it’s not that.)

      • Christopher Smith

        I’ve been pretty good about not having mine this year. My husband is grateful 😛

  • Lazycrockett
  • Reality.Bites
  • Blake J Butler
    • LesbianTippingHabits

      Please note: Special Election March 13, 2018.

      Contribute at:

      http://www.conorlamb.com/

      Colin Lamb is a credible Democratic candidate. That’s enough for me and I contributed a few weeks ago, just after his nomination.

      Thank you.

  • billbear1961

    A free society doesn’t, in between elections, abandon its RIGHT to protest and STOP obvious abuses of power, corruption, or any other kind of evil or cruelty perpetrated by government unjustly in its name! He who says otherwise is a LIAR, and a friend of TYRANNY!

    When their financial system collapsed in 2008, the courageous people of Iceland protested, peacefully and relentlessly, and brought DOWN the corrupt government which had BETRAYED them! They–who, by the way, had and have no reason to doubt the validity of THEIR electoral process–did not wait for future elections! Were they guilty of sedition? Of course not!! Icelanders exercised their Sovereign Authority as a FREE people to effect IMMEDIATE change, to bring down a government which had betrayed them! THEY did not wait for elections to challenge and put an end to the undermining of THEIR democracy! They behaved like the citizens of a free society, and NOT like the subjects–the abject slaves–of a tyranny! But, then, there are FREE peoples on this planet, and there are SHEEP for the shearing, and lambs for the slaughter!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57396991ecb2fad9e51a5bf3894b41453ef26710ea271c55d7e8fba477823337.jpg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeMmauRMbts&feature=youtu.be&t=10m37s

  • Reality.Bites

    Doctor Who fans from the Tennant years will remember this 70s classic.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWgwTe01kMU

  • Slippy_World
    • Treant

      Look at the flying hooker! Hi, flying hooker!

      • billbear1961

        O_O

    • PickyPecker
      • TuuxKabin

        Gorgeous. Shocking gorgeous Thanks PP.

      • Dazzer

        Thanks for that, PP.

        There’s something about that song that just makes me happy.

    • shellback

      Is that Charles Laughton? What is this? Thank you in advance.

      • jmax

        It’s Ann Rutherford (Ghost of Christmas Past) and Reginald Owen (Ebenezer Scrooge) in the 1938 MGM version of “A Christmas Carol”. Personally, I prefer the 1951 version with Alastair Sim.

        • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

          Indeed, to me, Alastair Sim is the definitive Scrooge.

        • shellback

          You’re very kind. Thank you. Alastair is brilliant. Loved him in “The Belles Of St. Trinians.”

  • Bj Lincoln

    Thanks Joe. I see the wife and myself in this story every time. Twice she got down on one knee and propose in very busy places. Both times it was wonderful. We often break out in song or dance no matter where we are and after 12 years it never gets old.
    Happy Holidays to you and all the friends here who I have grown to love.

    • Reality.Bites

      Did you say no the first time, or did it have to do with evolving laws (like civil union to marriage)?

      (Not nosy at all)

  • fuzzybits

    Happy Holidays everyone! https://youtu.be/jCcXWBxhFz4

  • PickyPecker
  • SoCalGal20

    Awwww the Guardian has given us an early Christmas present.

    https://twitter.com/teapainusa/status/945033201734639616

  • TuuxKabin

    Deck Us All With Boston Charlie – Walt Kelly’s Pogo, Christmas Carol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL0lPcNwRqQ&list=RDSL0lPcNwRqQ&t=1

    • Acronym Jim

      Now THAT’S how you mondegreen.

      • TuuxKabin

        Yup. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll kiss this guy.

        Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and PDX. Still high from the trip and being there.

        • Reality.Bites

          Hold me closer, Tony Danza.

          • TuuxKabin

            ‘Tay.

    • yetanotherLaura

      When I was a kid, my parents had a Walt Kelly Pogo songbook, which of course included this ditty. Living in Walla Walla as we were at the time, it became my favorite Christmas song and I memorized the entire first verse, which was challenge enough for this 7-year-old! I still remember it, since as I get older my memories revert to younger and younger days….Deck we all with Boston Charlie, Walla Walla, Wash., and Kalamazoo to you, too! And thanks for the lovely story, Joe, it’s always wonderful to read again!

      • TuuxKabin

        I had a cousin Nora, freezin’ on the trolley. Pogo always brings a smile. Some of the characters, watching this, could be some of the commentater tots here at Joe’s .

        Happy Holidays!

      • billbear1961

        HELLO, LAURA–GREAT TO SEE YOU!

        🙂

        • yetanotherLaura

          Hi, Billbear! I’ve missed you; but I swore off reading politics for a while, it just made me SO sick! So I’ve stuck to cute animals and, if there was important news of the crew here on Joe, my lovely daughter, who apparently has a stronger stomach than I, has alerted me, and shared when I absolutely *have* to read something. But I couldn’t ignore all the lovely people here at Christmas!

          A very Merry Christmas to you and yours, and you make sure you keep an eye on your blood pressure — this is a long game, and it’s still a while till the midterms, so we need to have everyone around to vote out the crooks!!

          • billbear1961

            Merry Christmas, Laura! Yes, your daughter has told us you were well, and that you survived hurricane season in one piece!

            The news is horrendous–the damage that MONSTER is doing is incalculable! But what really drives me half MAD and really frightens me is all the people who refuse to see the danger–or who PRETEND not to see it–like so many in the media who continue to normalize this grossly unfit obscenity, who continue to pretend he and the GOP really believe in genuine democracy and good government, that they aren’t obvious and blatant CROOKS, the most CORRUPT and DANGEROUS baldfaced LIARS!

            It is TIME their authority was REJECTED. (If you look on my profile page, you’ll see my arguments for why I think massive and relentless protests, coupled with economic measures, are justified and necessary.)

          • yetanotherLaura

            I completely agree, Billbear dear. But how about we both just take a couple of days to take a deep breath and think thoughts of peace and love for the whole world, and then we can get back to the political anger? And let’s not spoil Joe’s lovely Sugar Plum Lesbians story with ugly politics! Let’s enjoy a moment of unexpected beauty instead, and one that never grows old in the retelling!

          • billbear1961

            Yes, if one can take ONE day off, it’s Christmas!

          • yetanotherLaura

            Well, maybe we can take New Year’s Eve off, too. 🙂

          • billbear1961

            🙂

  • shellback

    I’d wish you all happy holidays, but I’m just too tired.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d033fe732ff1a3139d35d1d968ce1beee26e027f22865d51a20ae7b4ff06f873.gif

    Just kidding. I can stay awake just long enough to send you all hugs and sweet, sweet kisses.

  • yes b’y
    • TuuxKabin

      That was sweet! Fun too.

    • bzrd

      Thanks, never heard of Jiggs dinner

      • yes b’y

        good, cause its so unhealthy.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra
  • dogdadny

    I wonder if they or any of their friends have read this and recognized their moment of magic? Have you ever heard from them?

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    You guys all been good and practicin’ real hard?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xOe4GRyebo

    • TuuxKabin

      Honay, you know I’ve been . . . well, except for . . .

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    Damned onions. . .

  • Ninja0980

    Thanks for the story Joe.
    Hope everyone has a safe and Happy Holiday!

  • houstonray

    Love this every year. It always seems fresh and needed at this time of year.

    Happy Holidays to everyone here!

    • TuuxKabin

      To you too houstonray, and especially to Joe for creating such a community. Thank you Joe! And Shelly!

      • SoCalGal20

        Hey there! I just sent you an email? Did you ever get a chance to see Coco? What did you think?

        • TuuxKabin

          Just read it. Been spending most of the time here and preppin’ dinner. Just had a platter of roast chestnuts, the lil’ sweeties with tequila agave nectar infused drink. Lushes here.

          YES. We saw Coco. It was wonderful. Gorgeous and I appreciated the accuracy in the production. They did a lot, A LOT, of research to it.

          We had aisle seats for easy exit – $74 fandango wanted for 2 seniors and an adult. We showed up, swiped the tickets and saw it for $27. The $8 small bag of popcorn nearly made me pee my dress.

          But the film was shocking gorgeous. Loved it. Did you stay for the credits? At the end? The screen filled with portraits of the production crews’ loved ones? It was very moving, and the twist at the end, when the ‘idol’ was . . . well, no spoilers. Yeah. It was epic, IMHO.

          First time we’ve been to a movie since 2010 and probably won’t go back, in this lifetime. What a fuq’d up trip. 5pm show starts at 5:50. We went to the concession stand to ask if we were in the correct ‘auditorium’ because that POS Frozen was interminable. They told us it’s the ‘short.’ I shot back, ‘no it’s not. It’s been playing for 20 minutes.” The other 8 people in the audience, we saw it Tuesday after Thanksgiving, moaned every time another one of those saccharine songs dribbled on to the screen, HATED IT. And it was colder than the 45 degrees outside. I guess to numb the bed bugs.

          But Coco was fantastic. Thanks.

          • SoCalGal20

            Ha! You weren’t the only ones who complained about that “short”. Disney got so much shit about it they REMOVED it after the first week of release. I was actually pretty mad because it’s traditionally a small Pixar short in front of Pixar movies and they’re like 10 minutes at most. Such a stupid move on Disney’s part.

            I’m SO glad you saw Coco in the theater, though. It’s so beautiful and I think it really needs to be seen on the big screen at least once. I can’t believe how much it cost for you to see, though.

            Oh, and yes, I did stay. That was lovely. And I’m glad they were so accurate with the production.

            I’m going to go see it again tomorrow.

          • TuuxKabin

            Jello line green I am. Maybe we’ll go to Tuesday for the 3D showing. The screen we saw it on was about ad big as we get in NYC. Gotta send you Coco Peru reading Frozen to you.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Wishes of comfort and joy to Bud Clarke, Zhy Kitty, Octavio, and all our good pals we haven’t seen around here in a while. Hope all is well.

    • billbear1961
      • The Milkman

        Enjoy a little bit of Minnesota realness… I am on this recording, so I’m biased, but I think it’s a lovely rendition of this beautiful carol. Merry Christmas to you!

        https://youtu.be/A4nNt6Y_z20

        • billbear1961

          Merry Christmas!

          (I’m really sorry, but “this video is not available” for us in Canada.)

          🙁

        • David Walker

          Oh, my god. You sang with one of my gods/heroes/teachers. It must have been both challenging and a joy to be one of his Singers. Wow. Just frippin’ wow. Congratulations.

          • The Milkman

            It was wonderful! Such a great group of people. Merry Christmas!

    • Reality.Bites

      And Sherman and Little Kiwi.

      • bzrd

        jalapeno pepper

      • bzrd

        where’s Ross?

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    How I wish the world were back to semi-normal, about Joe could devote more of his time and talent to his beautiful, insightful writing.

  • gaycuckhubby

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/945043933788295173

    Why can’t they be my grandparents???

  • JT

    On HLN: the ancient scroll says Jesus kissed Mary Magdalen, and then there’s a hole.

    That hole must have been something special.

    • Reality.Bites

      She was named Mary and had sex with men she wasn’t married to.

      Obvious Oedipus complex

  • Michael R
    • jmax

      I love when you post pics of your doggy.

      • JCF

        Doggy always has look of “When you’re snappin pics, you’re not throwing sticks” (er, um, ball)

    • JohnJay

      DogCam?

    • gaycuckhubby

      Puppy!!!

  • JT
  • SoCalGal20

    We are coming for you, Republicans.

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/945055244454629376

  • Max_1
  • JohnJay

    Always enjoy reading this. Reminds me back when I lived up north, I would have to take the train into NYC every few months for meetings. I remember one December passing through, I had some wait time and was able to see the ceiling laser light show. I’ll probably never have occasion to pass through there again, so this story always reminds me of that beautiful building. But one thing I regret: I never found out if the public could actually get to and use those catwalks that cross those big arch windows. I never had enough downtime there to figure it out, but always was intrigued when people in silhouette would walk across.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/51ded20ae382a49a0f248d5089ab0023b9e0ec7645e3433fc574c4e4ed082f61.jpg

    • TuuxKabin

      Haven’t been up there in about 30 years. But back then it was possible. A friend led the way. I always enjoyed seeing people stroll across. Usually lunch hours.

  • Lazycrockett
    • JCF

      Well, it’s a start. But I really want the mother- daughterfucker IN PRISON.

  • Cuberly Deux

    To all JMGers, Merry Christmas. Without all ya’ll I’d go freakin nutz!

    Warm hugz to all. 😉

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7214812af9788c20fef3807f21f084c48a8f00dc1e406c7ea8e2b61b508acedf.jpg

  • Lazycrockett
  • Bomer

    Seems my Christmas gift from work was the flu (and they still want me to come into work >.>). So instead of spending the holiday with anyone I’m staying home and drinking fluids and sleeping as much as I can. Work can go blow until my fever goes away.

    Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New year!

    • SoCalGal20

      Ugh, take care!

    • whollyfool

      That’s the great thing about the interwebs. You can still be with everyone here. (And not worry about spreading the “love”.)

      Of course the downside is that none of us can bring you Xmas leftovers….

      Hope you feel better soon.

  • gothambear

    Thank you for sharing that – just lovely. I and my husband are both workday commuters in and out of GCT and I admit I’ve never seen the holiday laser show you describe. I’m usually too busy dodging dawdling tourists and other pell mell commuters rushing in the opposite direction at the crazy tilted direction the angles of GCT force you to traverse. But it still a lovely graceful facility and I’m always happy to pass through it – unfortunately, lately we’ve taken to scanning the other passersby for signs that someone might intend violence. A sad sign of the times…

  • Michael R
    • bzrd

      thanks for showing this again
      it’s what the season here at JMG is all about
      Festivus all

  • SoCalGal20

    This bit of legal news flew under the radar, I think. From 12/20.

    https://twitter.com/americanindian8/status/944681525588713473

    • bzrd

      Oh, fck yeah
      thanks for posting SCG20

  • edrex

    merry christmas, jmg friends. just returned from visitng husband’s 95 yo father. trying to take a brief nap in front of the fire while husband bakes stollen, but now that i’ve laid down, i’m fully awake. sending love from our home to yours’ wherever you may be. peace.

  • Paula Key

    So guys – where are your comments…lol

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    A Happy Christmas and/or Merry Holiday to JMG and all here.
    May Dame Shirley warm your chestnuts.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opyJBNRlzag

  • Nick

    I love that reading this has become my little tradition on JMG. Merry Everything, you fabulous creatures.

  • djcoastermark

    Greetings Fellow JMG’ers ! Hubs and I just realized it was Xmas Eve and we had not done any Holiday Decorating. Soooo, we channeled our inner Wednesday Addams. The weather outside was frightful today, an awful time to go outside and decorate. It was sunny , humid and 83 degrees. Still, we had a wonderful crop of Hemlock and the berries on the Poison Ivy this time of year are https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e7ac84f95557fd87afe72def29fdd2bc131550f8a1736ce65f37e0c5dde0085.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d7d698260cf4f06e96aa9382bf5078580e645363931e424ecd59957b8271015.jpg delightful. Who could resist! I still can’t figure why all the kids in the neighborhood keep running away screaming and the parents are shielding the toddlers eyes as they pass by our dreadful home ? These pics were taken tonite, just before sunset. Happy Horror Days everyone !!

  • medaka

    Probably my favorite, Joe! Thank you for EVERYTHING you do!

  • zhera

    Love this story to bits. Happy holiday, everyone!

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      And same to you, sweet Zhera!

      • zhera

        Snuggles and kisses to you and Billy Boo! ♥

  • KM

    I am always so happy to re-read this, it’s fabulous

  • JT

    Set ’em up, Joe! And thanks for all you do!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD7sqGJ3NBg

  • Scout
    • Tomcat

      Yes, we sure came a long way on human rights and freedoms.

    • you just know scientists are going to have a field day wit that, yo. do not play word games with people who speak four languages.

  • JT

    20 degrees and still snowing in Chicago from early this morning. A very white xmas.

  • Tomcat

    Let the good times roll for the holidays.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bbuBubZ1yE

    • i have been rolling a lot that is holy.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Adeldazeem!

  • Max_1
    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      Oh, I miss snow.

      • JCF

        Same here.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      All I got is…..WOOF!

  • merry holidays Joe. I will slay a white Hart and drink its blood in your honor, on this holy seasonal day.

  • SoCalGal20

    COunting down the days to the discovery of this guy’s grindr profile and/or craigslist ad.

    https://twitter.com/safetypindaily/status/945002208143306753

  • Blake J Butler

    Santa’s got ghoulish orders to fill for christmas.

    https://youtu.be/_jIGzGQcGek

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme
  • Duck

    Dang it Joe, you always manage to sneak some bloody ninja chopping onions into my place with your recurring posts.

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    Marinara to all the JMG Pastafarians and Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to everyone else.

  • DaddyRay
  • ColdCountry

    I love this story, Joe. Thanks for posting it again!

  • sdnative1958
    • TuuxKabin

      To you & yours, ad well
      Happy holidays.

      • DoctorDJ

        Indeed.
        Be well, all.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Warm wishes on this eve of DIES NATALIS SOLIS INVICTI.
    https://undertwotrees.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/invictus_by_ceruleanvii.jpg

    • Max_1

      The towel isn’t tucked in and the wind is blowing…
      … Gee, I wonder are Angels are anatomically correct?

      Or did gawd make ’em all Ken dolls?

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        I’ve met a few angels anatomically gifted.

  • wds
    • JCF

      Purdy GIF!

  • ColdCountry

    Merry Christmas, Everyone!

    https://youtu.be/Qgovk9D8ELw

  • JT
  • The Milkman

    For the 14th year in a row, thanks for reposting this lovely story. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you, Joe, and to all the lovely fellow readers.

  • fuzzybits

    Santa’s on his way! https://i.imgur.com/KViYB7W.gifv

    • Treant

      Santa slays me.

  • Lazycrockett
  • gaycuckhubby

    Happy Holidays, JMG family!!!
    I haven’t been around here as long as a lot of you. Thank y’all for welcoming me.
    I love the discussion/arguments/support/community I experience here.

    • JCF

      Merry Cuckmas!

      • gaycuckhubby

        😁😁

  • safari

    Christmas Eve ends with something the entire family can enjoy: Die Hard.

    • JCF

      What is this thing, that everyone’s debating “Is/Isn’t a Christmas Movie”? It’s like someone decided to make this a viral thing.

  • gaycuckhubby

    Merry Xmas from the White House

    Tip of the Hat to the shady Presidential photographer https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab3356ff564d6c4a845d6a6d72f6bf3687a2dc625793eaa9aa5c2bc7570ed355.jpg

    • DoctorDJ

      Newspaper open to the comics, I’m sure.
      Or the obits… maybe his picture’s in there!

      • JohnJay

        They showed this PR stunt on the news on TV. They each were calling and talking to children about where NORAD was tracking Santa. Those papers in front of Drumpf are basically his script for the call. They supposedly called around 20 kids in 12 states. I’m sure all were politically connected and it was all staged.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Manure presents wrapped in gold?

      With a bow of course.

    • Her body language says “This bastard better pay me good after he leaves office or I am going to cut his balls off”.

      • JCF

        She’s telling a friend, “Dahlink, his weight AND blood pressure are up! Will this FINALLY be the year???”

  • gaycuckhubby

    This tweet is going viral.
    Giving me all the feels! 😭😭

    https://twitter.com/Music1996Man/status/944728695742320640

    • Lazycrockett

      meh.

      • zhera

        Grinch.

      • Treant

        Do they make cards that read, “Congratulations on Your Upcoming Second Divorce”?

        • Lazycrockett

          Murder, suicide?

          • Treant

            A murder-suicide does get one around the divorce issue, yes…

      • AJ Drew

        Sheesh, I thought I was feeling grumpy. You win! /s

    • zhera

      ♥♥♥♥♥ Love ♥♥♥♥♥♥

    • fuzzybits

      Awwww.

    • boobert

      I had a cousin that married her husband , had a kid, divorced, then remarried, had 2 more kids ,then divorced again. After a few years he remarried and she moved in with them ! LOL

    • This is great! You want to hear an odd one? Something like this happened to a friend of mine. His parents reunited after 15 years — he asked if they would remarry (they broke up with their new partners to move back in together). They told him they never bothered divorcing to begin with so they did not have to – he had no idea. California, of course.

      • Scott Carpenter

        Something like this happened to my in-laws. They divorced, he remarried (the woman he’d been having an affair with) after a few years he found out the grass wasn’t greener. Divorced new wife, pursued, dated, and finally remarried hubs’ mom.

    • thatotherjean

      Best of luck to them–they’re likely to need it. The odds aren’t exactly in their favor, but maybe they’ll beat them. Merry Christmas!

    • JCF

      Aw. There’s an older couple in my church.They married and divorce, AND remarried and divorced, AND reremarried! [It looks like it finally took. ;-p ]

  • Treant

    Well, I’m home. It went OK. My far-right cousin annoyed me three times, but other than that, it was reasonably tolerable.

    The snow started to come down pretty heavily (1-3″ by morning, with icing) so we’re home a bit early and skipped church with Mom, who was a bit hesitant to go.

    • JT

      I’m glad you’re back safe and sound.

      • Treant

        Nobody’s dead.

        Well, nobody who’ll be missed, anyway.

    • Ninja0980

      Home here as well well.
      Going to be a white Christmas for us as well.

  • Thank you for that lovely story.

  • Lazycrockett
    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      I never tire of Nyle…….sigh….

  • SoCalGal20
  • blackstar
    • Phillip in L.A.

      Gurl, you know you don’t have a chimney, so don’t even try it!

  • Lazycrockett
    • blackstar

      He’s acts like a six year old.

      • bzrd

        arg, he’ soooooooooooooooo creepy

      • TampaDink

        A very poorly behaved six year old.

    • blackstar
    • Cuberly Deux
      • whollyfool

        Oh yes I’m stealing that

        • Cuberly Deux

          “The truth may be stretched thin, but it never breaks, and it always surfaces above lies, as oil floats on water.”
          ― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

          I realize I’m stretching a metaphor outside of it’s realm but there’s an analogy at work here. If you throw in a toss of 1984.

      • AJ Drew

        Yeah, but, it was the biggliest, yuge, yugest, windmill ever, best people say so.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        En un lugar de la Mancha, de cuyo nombre no puedo acordarme, no ha mucho tiempo que vivía un hidalgo de los de lanza en astillero, adarga antigua, rocín flaco y galgo corredor. Una olla de algo más vaca que carnero, salpicón las más noches, duelos y quebrantos los sábados, lantejas los viernes, algún palomino de añadidura los domingos, consumían las tres partes de su hacienda. El resto della concluían sayo de velarte, calzas de velludo para las fiestas, con sus pantuflos de lo mesmo, y los días de entresemana se honraba con su vellorí de lo más fino. . . .

        –Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quijote de la Mancha at 37 (Madrid: Ediciones Alfaguara, 1969).

        • Cuberly Deux

          I attempted to read the google translate version, have a feeling it didn’t quite do a good job…

          In a place in La Mancha, whose name I do not want to remember, there has not been a long time that lived a hidalgo of the spear in shipyard, old buckler, skinny horse and galgo corridor. A pot of something more cow than sheep, salpicón more nights, duels and losses on Saturdays, lentils on Fridays, some palomino addition on Sundays, consumed the three parts of his farm. The rest of the sailor’s coat concluded, hairy breeches for the holidays with their slippers of the same, on weekdays was honored with its vellori of the finest. He had in his house a mistress who was over forty, and a niece who was not yet twenty, and a young man from the countryside and the plaza, who saddled the horse as he took the pruning shear. The age of our gentleman was about fifty years old, he was of a strong build, dry of flesh, thin of face; great early bird and friend of the hunt. They want to say that it had the nickname of Quijada or Quesada (that in this there is some difference in the authors who write in this case), although by credible conjectures it is understood that it is called Quijana; but this matters little to our story; it is enough that in the narration of him a point of the truth does not leave.

          http://www.elmundo.es/quijote/capitulo.html?cual=1

          • Phillip in L.A.

            This is why polyglots never go out of style, Cuberly! 🙂

          • Cuberly Deux

            I’m jealous, I never had the knack for picking up other languages. Tried many courses over the years but I was always all thumbs at it. Though when I got my art history degree I think I picked up a pale rudimentary understanding of Italian, Spanish and French.

    • Blake J Butler

      The condom companies, i assume more than one, owes America an apology for this mistake to have been born and causing hell for millions, well billions if you also count abroad.

    • TampaDink

      “He sent Cindy Lou back to be with her cup, then he turned to the chimney & stuffed the tree up!” ~from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
      May someone shove a christmas tree up Hair Furor’s fat ass!

    • AJ Drew
    • DoctorDJ
    • houstonray
    • zhera

      He doesn’t know the difference between Guam and Guatemala. OR that Guam is a US territory:

      https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/945126654589911040

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Damn mobile. I just gave Thernovith a hit.

  • JCF

    Yay, DSPL! 😀

    Have a Kool Yule, everybody!

  • Benja and I took this earlier in Second Life (no we are not blonde twinks in real life although he is closer to this than me – he is on Santa’s lap). Bon Nadal (Merry Christmas in Catalan) everyone! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4968f560df1ad7c7de482e741f50b2dee264b0ff017bdd0ce966d18a723ededa.jpg

  • Lazycrockett
  • TuuxKabin

    Let’s not forget, you’re not alone.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HxNtWEIKhQ

  • Blake J Butler

    Renato Mariotti’s retweets are flooding my feed of animal selfies, TONS of them.

  • Lazycrockett
  • AJ Drew

    Dog-sitting for the holiday, so for the next few days at least, I’ve become *that* guy who walks a small dog that is wearing a sweater. (It’s slightly ok ‘cuz it’s a hoodie and he looks like a garden gnome.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a50b258d6f5a554912cdd1032a9c52e6bab0f86c19ddf924e65c7d5cd46c22ff.jpg

    • gaycuckhubby

      ❤❤

    • easygoingmister

      He’s a good dog, AJ.

      • AJ Drew

        Yes, of course! Most dogs are good, it’s humans, however…

        Peace and true wishes for a drama-free holiday to you and us all.

    • Reality.Bites

      Some people just look good in hats

      • JCF

        So do some dog people.

        • Reality.Bites

          I don’t see species, we’re all people. 😉

    • JCF

      Teh Kewt.

  • Sam_Handwich

    i don’t have to play anymore xmas carols for a year.

    YAY!!!!

    • AJ Drew

      nor hide your olive under a santa hat!

      • Reality.Bites

        I can’t wait for his Bew Years diaper

    • JCF

      12 Days y’all?

  • fuzzybits

    Yikes,a high of 24 here tomorrow and a high of 17 on Wed.!

  • bruno_mirakuru_

    Have a most excellent holiday JCF. 🙂

  • Ninja0980

    Going to dip into the negatives tomorrow here, what fun!

  • fuzzybits
  • Chris H.

    I can’t take credit for this, but this is good!! From Chris Sampson’s Twitter.

    Twas the night before Christmas, when through the White House
    Not a Kushner was resting, not even his spouse;
    The documents were hung by the shredder with care,
    In fears that Bob Mueller soon would be there;

    The staffers were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of subpoenas danced in their heads;
    And Melania in her babushka, and Trump in his cap,
    Flew to Mar-a-Lago for a long winter’s nap,

    When on the TV there remained such a matter,
    There was Brennan, Podesta and man named Jim Clapper.
    With bribes fresh in hand, they flew like the flash,
    The greedy corporations did suck up the cash.

    The Congress rejoiced the records will show Feigned promises of riches to the peasants below, When, what to amazement FoxNews should appear, Took aim at Bob Mueller, with permission to smear,

    With disinfo flying, so rapid and thick, I knew in a moment it must be Bolshevik. More rapid than vultures his hackers they came, And they posted and trolled, as they sought to defame;

    “Now, Fancy! now, Cozy! now, Seaduke and BlackEnergy! On, Havex! on Sandworm! on, Skipper and CrouchingYeti! To the DNC server! Past the paper’s firewall! Now exfiltrate, exfiltrate, exfiltrate all!”

    Then the Kremlin called Julian, their reliable guy, To leak to the world, the docs that they plied, And the Stone who was named Roger bragged on it too, With the dirty tricks methods that Vladi knew.

    And they carried on lying that there was never the proof, They fogged and distracted and acted aloof. But their plan would unravel, spin wild to the ground, And the FBI went digging and looking all around.

    Then came the big man, he was Special Counsel to be, And he hired top lawyers, and then empaneled grand jury; There were interviews and hearings, this man would not slack, And he pressed forward justly, with a determined knack.

    His eyes were like eagles, they missed not a thing, His presence was heavy, his targets would sing! His sleuthing was famous, if you must know, And his integrity was solid, like the ground below;

    The facts that were surfaced he held tight in his teeth, And as he dug for truth morsels that were buried beneath; He was focused on the crooked, the wretched and smelly, They did shake full of fear as we watched on the tele.

    He questioned each of them from the son to the elf, And I rejoiced at the justice, then I thought to myself; Under orange little man with weird hair on his head, The great justice of America was certainly not dead,

    He did push and did pull but it just would not work, And did hit Twitter daily, to act like a jerk, And he threw little tizzy fits, like a toddler in chief, But we saw he was crooked, though no ordinary thief;

    Though it took time, and labor we could would no longer bristle, As we finally saw Congress call for his dismissal. And as justice was served, he was hauled out of sight, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!

  • gaycuckhubby

    OT… playing Cards Against Humanity with family can be an eye-opening and educational experience. 😲😲😲

  • gaycuckhubby
    • JCF

      Kinda hope she’s not first (I mean, I want a woman POTUS sooner than Danica’s ready). But can she be POTUS eventually? F*ck Yeah!

  • gaycuckhubby

    What happened to Assange?
    Let the conspiracies start!

    • Dazzer

      What’s happened to Assange?

      • Sam_Handwich

        looks like his twitter account vanished

      • gaycuckhubby

        The Deep State is censoring him! /s

      • boobert

        Maybe Pam wised up and poisoned him.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Sam_Handwich

      trying to erase public statements, but the internet never forgets

      • AJ Drew

        ah, the beloved Wayback Machine, and I don’t mean Mr. Peabody and Sherman, though I love them too.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Maybe Krampus finally got him.

    • zhera
      • Reality.Bites

        That’s a parody account (notice it’s juliann, not julian in the account name and it’s not verified).

        I checked a few minutes ago and the real account remains gone.

  • Merry Christmas.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Sam_Handwich

      LOCK HIM UP!!

    • Treant

      He wasn’t big on “Happy Easter,” either.

      • djcoastermark

        Yeah, he had a real hung up over that one.

        • Treant

          You could say he was a bit cross about the whole ordeal.

      • whollyfool

        Dont even mention Good Friday.

    • zhera

      Well, he WAS Jewish…

    • JCF

      Shock!

      Well of course. He said “Merry Me-mas!” ;-p~~~~

  • Sam_Handwich

    cripes, there really is a Dotard tweet for everything

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/17979321264115714

    • Lazycrockett

      are we sure that’s him?

      • Lazycrockett

        nevermind didn’t look at the date.

        • AJ Drew

          and yet it’s further proof that DT’s ongoing bs is real.

    • djcoastermark

      Well JFC ! What happened to mary chrishmas Donnie ? I thought you said it was no more happy holidays? oops, that was a tweet from his past life I guess.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Life in the paradise of Mar a Lag..blah blah…

      https://media.giphy.com/media/zcYQmuLhtfqrm/giphy.gif

    • zhera

      That was back when saying Merry Christmas would get you 10 years in a federal prison!

  • Blake J Butler

    Someone should give this guy a blowjob or a creative thank you for your contribution type of gift. He works the corners for a good cause. And no that wasn’t a pun intended,

    https://twitter.com/MikeHotPence/status/945153707787935744

  • Jon Doh
    • Treant

      He came in like a wrecking ball…

      https://youtu.be/My2FRPA3Gf8

      • Jon Doh

        No comment about blue balls?

        • Treant

          Too easy.

          • Cuberly Deux

            HEH…and you aren’t.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Why is Santa hanging on blue ball?

      I can remedy that…..seirously.

      • AJ Drew

        Sheerioushly? Santa awaits!

        • Cuberly Deux

          Won’t be waitin long…he he ….

      • Jon Doh

        How you doin’? 😉

        • Cuberly Deux

          Oh…fine.

          🙂

  • Slippy_World
    • Sam_Handwich

      waiter, there’s a firefly in my tea

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Pipe down, or everybody will want one.

  • Sam_Handwich

    long day, long month. i hate xmas!!!! (tho it is financially lucrative)

    we went for Chinese food after my church service, our usual tradition, and now hubs is sleeping on the couch with the start of a cold. i’ll wake him up shortly and off to bed!

    merry xmas to all and to all a good night

  • Sporkfighter

    Pasta to all, and to all a fine chianti!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa86d7c370ce2222790545ba0fff380d65178ac4a96bb4cb1b2e0318206c8375.jpg

    (Someone in my neighborhood has good taste.)

    • Lazycrockett

      and fava beans.

  • Old Fart in VA

    Thanks for this lovely story again.

  • Blake J Butler
    • Lumpy Gaga

      No Queen Melania with her death forest. Sad.

      • Blake J Butler

        She got left out for obvious reasons. She’s an ice queen who I believe only gets happy when she shops and when she’s being a condescending bitch to people in need that she uses for photo ops.

    • Reality.Bites

      Honestly, Hillary, gazing up adoringly at an image shaped like that while indicating you’re measuring the size is just not a good look for anyone.

      Although I do like to see it from men in the bedroom.

  • gaycuckhubby
  • MT YVR

    A year ago yesterday (good lord it’s been that long already?) the hub had his heart attack while cooking dinner. Of course the drama queen coulda just SAID something if he didn’t wanna cook… but anyway.

    That’s making my holiday. A year and we’re still here.

    Here’s hoping you’re all with people who love y’all and are taking care of you. Sleep well, you crazy kids. 😉

  • David Walker

    I’m sorry to tack this on to one of my favorite stories, but I kind of have to, I guess. Judy, yes, and a Christmas song that’s not all happy and joyous and Jeebus-y. Instead, it’s a Christmas song trying put the best light on an uncertain future.

    Although written for an MGM musical, it was also written in 1944 as WWII was still raging and the end wasn’t in sight. Christmas can be a joy when things are good; it can also be a very sad and apprehensive time. The song also reminds us that faithful friends will be near to us if the fates allow. Like another Christmas morale song, “I’ll be Home for Christmas,” the song knows what people are going through. This is to me one of my very most favorite Judy Garland moments (the close-up…sweet Jesus she’s gorgeous) and songs.

    For all I know we’re at war with our fellow citizens now, and if not now, perhaps soon. And it’s something we’ll have to muddle through. I’ll let Judy console me. I hope your holidays go well. Also, I should not have access to the interwebz when I’ve been partying.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH9RyySpkU8

    • AJ Drew

      Understood. Virtual hug, David.

    • Jwmvh

      My all time favorite xmas song! My husband plays it on our piano for me. Have a great holiday, David!

      JIm

    • Phillip in L.A.

      A great song, David, sung by a great artist. Thank you for posting! Happy Christmas and New Year’s and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa to you and yours

    • Phillip in L.A.

      For those of us in a more soulful Xmas groove…. 🙂

      Ray Charles–“Merry Christmas, Baby” (1979)

      https://youtu.be/mAPvi9Oe29A

  • JCF
    • David Walker

      That’s beautiful, JCF. Thank you. Our concert a couple of weeks ago was in a smallish UCC church. The singers are 28 strong and one night at rehearsal I told them to form a circle in the rehearsal hall so they could sing this, hear each other, and balance their sound. There is usually a certain amount chatter and coughing at the end of any number; curiously, none of that for several seconds after this. We decided to surround the audience in the sanctuary. The singers were not particularly isolated, and we sang this, and at the end was the one thing I didn’t dare hope for: Silence. I figured we’d probably get one or two seconds of silence before someone broke the spell. No one broke the spell. We did it. Greg Gilpin’s arrangement of the Sussex Mummers Carol.
      https://www.halleonard.com/viewaudio.action?itemId=35027820&fileName=https%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fhalleonard-closerlook%2F35027820%2F35027820.mp3

      • JCF

        Lovely.

        • David Walker

          Thank you, JCF. I must be at least 1/2 British or Celtic (I know one part of the family is from Scotland) because this music touches, nay, grabs me when I hear it. There are times when I think I could be a believer again. And then I get over it. But the music…music…

          • JCF

            Pssst! I know several confirmed atheists who…um, gather every Sunday in the Episcopal Church…for strictly cultural reasons [And also to share the experience w/ their believing same-sex spouse! 😉 Fun fact: you do know that the original Greek word for “church”, ecclesia, just means “assembly”? No specific belief connotations there!]

          • David Walker

            Yes, and “sanctuary” has always struck me as incredibly beautiful word, not because it’s a church’s auditorium, but because of what it implies…peace, safety, protection from outside harm, and people who will shield you from the outside threats. It’s a great word. Thank you. Enjoy what’s left of the holiday.

        • David Walker

          I learned this from the movie “Pride” a few years back. I loved the sound of it. Welsh is such a mysterious language, but it sounds so beautiful. Nadolig Llawen, blwyddyn Newydd Dda!

  • Lazycrockett
  • AJ Drew

    Thought I disliked eggnog, but making it from scratch… hmm, pretty good! (spiced rum helps. ahem.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aefee01886b7b0f387dbf33a52174d5a7851e91b756212ede68ebacf6a0e90b0.jpg

  • David Walker

    One more and that’s it. Many years ago I was allowed to a 5+ minute feature on a big holiday celebration in nearby Lancaster. It was actually reasonable fun and my shooter was have a ball. (Always trust your videographer…pictures are what s/he does.) We got all kinds of material, a couple of interviews, and while it wasn’t going to edit itself, I had a pretty good idea what I wanted. One of the things I DIDN’T want was Christmas music. Festive, yes, but Christmas music just tends to be less than surprising. I asked the FM manager if he knew of anything. Well, of course he did and this was it. It’s one of the most joyous/joyful pieces I know. Thank you, Wic. And whatever holiday you are or are not celebrating, I hope it goes well.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOBFd6dZqjQ

    • AJ Drew

      That’s beautiful. I know holidays are difficult, though. I try to embrace remembrance, and in doing so, some joy. Current joy, not the current lack, the remembrance and furtherance of joy. Live on with me, loved ones.

  • i am going to finish this beer and fuck it. lover is asleep. i never can. i hate holydays.

    every year this thread is so long. is it not funny, that some of us know that? also, my keyboard is broken. that really sucks. /Sumerian joke

    happy turn of the sun, yall. i will only sacrifice one virgin this year, i promise.

  • whollyfool
    • Reality.Bites

      Well Jess, it’s like this: Some people just don’t pee the bed at 3:00 AM

  • .
    Nice piece of prose.

    Hat’s off.
    .

  • blackstar
  • TuuxKabin

    A song for all you, especially if you’re by the sea. Merry Good Morning Christmas. A Tim Buckley song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFWKJ2FUiAQ

  • Reality.Bites

    OT: There are all kinds of families and marriages. Sometimes it’s two straight best friends who get married because of inheritance taxes.

    And honestly, they sound like a lovely couple. How fitting we can start Christmas day with a nice story about two old straight white men.

    https://i2-prod.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/article11739936.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/I171222_164604_1616013oTextTRMRMMGLPICT000139460647o.jpg

    https://i2-prod.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/article11739920.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/I171222_163940_1592997oTextTRMRMMGLPICT000139463074o.jpg

    https://i2-prod.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/article11739941.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/I171222_165315_1641835oTextTRMRMMGLPICT000139463189o.jpg

    http://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/irish-straight-best-friends-marry-11739904

    I have a bit of this issue myself. Neither my boyfriend nor I have a particular interest in getting married, but as someone who has only had his own place for a year (it takes a while to be able to afford to live without roommates in Toronto) he’s also not interested in moving in together. And if and when we do, it takes 12 months before he’d be recognized as a spouse for inheritance purposes.

    While I can still leave him whatever I want in my will, only spouses inherit tax free. Bequests to anyone else are considered to have been “sold” by the estate. In other words, if I bought a $1000 dollars of a stock and it’s now worth $10000, my estate would have to pay out the capital gains tax on the $9000 growth and only what remains goes to the intended recipient.

    Right now we’re certainly not ready to take either step (we’ve only been together 9 months), but I have mentioned to him that as time goes on, we may need to get married if we don’t want to live together!

    • TuuxKabin

      So happy together. Do it. Take care of one another. And congratulations on being together.

    • Hue-Man

      Marriage certificate isn’t necessary in provinces which have a “common law spouse” concept. (For example, last I checked, B.C. was 2 years of cohabitation.) Of course, it’s easier to prove for the surviving (married) spouse than having to prove retroactively to CRA that there was a common law relationship for the required period of time.

      Obviously TurboTax isn’t authority but here’s what they say:
      Q. How do Canadian inheritance tax laws work if the estate is inherited by a surviving spouse or common-law partner?

      Any non-registered capital property may be transferred to the deceased taxpayer’s spouse or common-law partner.

      https://turbotax.intuit.ca/tips/canada-inheritance-tax-laws-information-463

  • Mihangel apYrs

    I had a lovely Chistmas eve afternoon watching the Nutcracker performed by the Siberian State Ballet company – the Nutcracker had a nice “poise”

    To all: a Merry Christmas, a wonderful Yule, an enjoyable Saturnalia, a fulfilling feast of Mithra. Ave Sol Invicta!

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Now, about that Saturnalia….

      • Mihangel apYrs

        we can share the Nutcracker . . .

  • JT

    Wake up! Santa’s left you a present.
    https://i.giphy.com/media/bZnENgtdwSuzu/giphy.gif

    • TuuxKabin

      Smooches are a good present.

  • skyweaver

    Merry Christmas to this wonderful community. May you all have peace and joy in the new year. Thanks for making me laugh, or think about something I hadn’t. Hug your animals today, too! I hope they are showered with extra chew toys or catnip or whatever they like. Cheers!

    • TuuxKabin

      Barbarella’s been lobbying for her breakfast, guess I’d better give it to her before she wakes up her other ol’ man. Got her to be a mouser the Sunday before Thanksgiving. She turned Ninja Killer Diller and within 12 hours six mice were at our feet. She’s more than earned her keep and has us under control as well. Merry Christmas to you and all with you. Happy New Year, when we get there . . . –

  • Reality.Bites
    • TuuxKabin

      And to you two, from what I read below.

      An ode to crunchies.

      • Reality.Bites

        Ours likely won’t come till next week. (By the time we were sure we were a couple, and not just dating, we had a succession of medical issue with both of our fathers. Not the time to let his dad know he’s dating an older guy.

        We’d planned to do it yesterday, but he worked till 7:00 AM and would have slept must of the day if i hadn’t phoned to say 20 cm of snow was coming. Plus I’ve been too tired/sick after visiting my parents while recovering from surgery they couldn’t know about.

        Since my family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I don’t have a strong day-and-date attachment to the 25th.

        • TuuxKabin

          You’ll let us know when it happens? No attachment to the 25th either, just “pick up the bags, get in the limousine, soon we’ll be away from here,” kind of day. A good dinner, sure. And call it another day.

  • gaycuckhubby

    Good Morning and Merry Christmas to all those celebrating!
    And thank you to any of you who have to work today.

  • ohbear1957
    • gaycuckhubby

      And a new IPhone!

    • AJ Drew

      Aw c’mon, even Santa can’t stuff that into a stocking. /s

  • Whicker Park

    WOW. I never saw this article! AMAZING!
    Merry Christmas everyone!

  • Good morning all. Happy whatever you’re celebrating today. As for us, no presents. We’re finishing a move to a new town home (a killer space, much larger and nicer than my tiny old one bedroom apartment. For not much more $$). One of the best things about this new place? A larger bathtub so we can now take baths together.
    Yea, we’re that gay.
    We’re also that happy.
    Happy Festivus!

    • Mueller Abides

      I’m ready for the airing of grievances.

      • Reality.Bites

        Talk about people making a list and checking it twice!

  • Phillip in L.A.

    Hello Joe & All J.M.G.’ers! Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays & Happy New Year. Thanks for posting this gem of a story again, Joe–and, as always, thank you for everything you do for us and for our community! 😎

    His Majesty jnn.pnw.hdt, via his lowly Human Assistant, Phillip

  • Other Michael

    It isn’t Christmas until this post appears. Have a wonderful day everyone.