Ann Coulter: I’m Desperately Lonely And Will Die Alone

The Cut reports:

Ann Coulter has tweeted over 30,000 times. Most of those tweets consist of her promoting her right-wing agenda, some involve her yelling at Delta, and at least one features a beagle playing the piano.

There’s also the one where the controversial conservative pundit went full Twitter sad girl.

Coulter, unhappy with Senator Marco Rubio’s desire to expand child tax credits in the Republicans’ tax plan, made her displeasure known on Friday — and, in doing so, sent out a bleak self-own.

  • AmeriCanadian

    She has absolutely nobody to blame but herself.

  • Do Something Nice

    And this highlights Republican and libertarian ideology: If it isn’t going to help me, fuck it.

    • kaydenpat

      It also highlights how they love the fetus but hate anything that will help the child.

      • JackFknTwist

        ‘Pro-birth’ not ‘pro-life.’

        • JackFknTwist

          That’s why I think they’re a gang of stinking hypocrites.

        • AJayne


          • cleos_mom

            Pro- women as breeding stock.

      • Todd20036

        Yup. I was ranting at s preacher for being pro life but having nothing to do with the van afterwards

      • gary47290

        Republicans believe in post-partum abortion

        • kaydenpat

          Very true. They need to be called out more for their callow disregard for children.

    • penpal

      And also how stupidly shortsighted they are. If it’s not going to help them IN THEIR IMMEDIATE SITUATION, then they have no need for it. It’s why they hate GLBT people until they realize their child is gay. Oh, and fuck the environment because they’ll all be dead when things get cataclysmic, until they realize that hurricanes and wildfires are destroying their homes as we speak. Same thing with kids. Do you really want to be a shriveled old prune holed up in a nursing home with a bunch of young, stupid, careless, compassionless idiots tending to you? We reap what we sow. Republicans don’t realize that.

  • Boy Elvis

    Next up: Ann and her braindead sycophants claim it was all a big joke and us dumb libards didn’t get it.

  • madknits

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer cheese grater.

  • PickyPecker
  • BartmanLA

    Geez what a snowflake!

  • Treant
  • Bambino

    Hate can do that, you two faced horsey!

  • Billy Green

    And just how exactly is this news? Did anyone ever think otherwise of her?

  • Tulle Christensen

    Yes because those kids are the ones who will pay for your Medicare and Social Security when you retire

  • BlackGayAthetist

    I hope someone gets the reference…if you do not it is because these two used to date

  • coram nobis

    Jacob Marley came early this year.

    • Treant

      Actually, I think she’s complaining that Jacob Marley didn’t come. At least, not in her.

  • Megrim Twist

    DO NOT give her the Suicide Prevention Hotline number.

    • Bambino

      916-654-1447 or 530-752-0855. I got them from some places that euthanize horses 😛

      • Megrim Twist

        MARRY ME!!

  • Cackalaquiano

    Well thank goodness she never procreated. And that dying alone bit? Can’t come soon enough.

  • Bambino

    Awww someone finally crumble under her own relentless attack on the others. Just make sure she is not allow to adopt cats.

  • bkmn

    Don’t drag out your life for us Ann.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Promises, promises.

  • edrex

    if only your desperation WERE quiet.

      • kaydenpat

        Ouch!! Bad bad kitty.

        • Willys41

          Cats are wise. It’s indisputable!

    • Phillip in L.A.

      “…WERE quiet”–subjunctive. Sorry, one of my pet peeves.

      • edrex

        thank you. i will own the error and make the change.

        • Phillip in L.A.

          No need to make a change on my account; just info to store for future use (if warranted)

      • Nic Peterson

        There, Their, They’re…

        • Phillip in L.A.

          No, those are homonyms–a totally different animal. Contrary-to-fact subjective should be used correctly, so that when one needs to make a statement that is NOT contrary to fact (or might still come true), one can be understood

  • Michael White

    Milo is probably looking for a boyfriend.

  • shellback

    Die alone? Never put off til tomorrow what you can do today.

    • crewman

      Someone who sees empathy as a sign of weakness must hate herself for having feelings at all. If someone were to sit her down and somehow get her to open up and spill her guts and listen with a compassionate ear, she might literally explode, as a human need for understanding and compassion collides with her robot facade that insists it hates anyone who isn’t also hateful and cold.

      • SockMikey

        I have to f’n change the channel when I see commercials about hungry kids and abused animals.

        I try to help the best I can, but homeless gay youth will always be my charity of choice.

        Many of us went thru rough religious household and parent issues relating to being gay.

        Worst nightmare I had after leaving home at 18 was dreaming I was back at home.

        • Naomi

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a great New Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleCashUSACareerPartTimeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!da181luuuu

    • JackFknTwist

      We can only hope.

    • perversatile

      Self-awareness is a gift.

      • ted-

        Please give this bitch some. She’s currently in a deficit of it.

    • ted-

      Ooooh, so beat me to this. Love ya for it!

    • SockMikey

      I wouldn’t wish the experience of being with Ann Coulter upon anyone.

      Perhaps it’s best that way…

  • SkokieGuy [ChicagoAdjacentGuy]
  • Always count on Americans to interpret everything literally. 😃

  • BlackGayAthetist

    Dear Ann,

    Please remember to leave the sliding door open as so the critters can feed on you…this will be your way of caring for the environment

    • Tawreos

      How hungry will those critters have to be to eat Ann Coulter?

      • Gustav2

        She will have to die in the winter. Maybe soon…

      • Bambino

        The rats from the sewers like to change their diet once in awhile.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    Everyone’s missing the point. Living an empty life of quiet desperation and dying alone, for a Republican, is a good thing.

    • AmeriCanadian

      They certainly are working their damndest to make sure the 99% end up this way.

  • KnownDonorDad
    • Phillip in L.A.

      “She just do that to get that redneck money!”

    • BlackGayAthetist

      I so love this show because it is SO true…making that money is FIRST to Ann

  • fastlanestranger

    Hard to believe she’s single. I mean, whadda catch!

    • Calamity_Jean


  • ceeenbee

    Poor dear.

    What’s wrong ann? Jimmy walker not putting out for you any more?


    • Treant

      There once was a woman named Jill,
      Who used dynamite sticks for a thrill,
      They found her vagina,
      In South Carolina,
      And bits of her breasts in Brazil.

      • shellback

        A limp wristed lad from Khartoum,
        Took a lesbian up to his room.
        They argued all night,
        Over who had the right,
        To do what with which and to whom.

        • alc2018

          I’ll beat that bitch with a bat
          I’ll beat that bitch with a bat
          I’ll go like this and like that
          She’ll be so beat up and bruised
          She won’t know weather to do chicks or
          some random dudes!

      • Phillip in L.A.

        There once was a man from Madras,
        Whose balls were constructed of brass.
        When jangled together,
        They played ‘Stormy Weather,’
        And lightning shot out of his ass.

    • Phillip in L.A.
  • PickyPecker
  • Phil Touchette

    Holy shit. I’m not used to honesty from Ann Coulter.

  • leastyebejudged

    I wish she would die with a bunch of her butt buddies.

  • Halou


  • Bambino
    • mpatreyu

      Not good at all

    • Pip

      “Some refusals we’ve made public, like witnesses hiding behind nonexistent privileges, many others we haven’t.”

      They should make them all public. Don’t let them hide anything.

  • Gustav2

    Maybe if she were a nicer person…

  • Gigi

    Coulter’s (not so) quiet despair has filled me with such glee that I’m very close to clicking my heels and dancing a jig. #sorrynotsorry

  • disqus_D9pH1OIG67

    She ought to find some nice girl and settle down. I’m sure her gf would let her use the strap on and satisfy her penis envy.

  • Tawreos

    Single people funding families with children is bad, but funding billionaires is just fine.

    • killreligion

      I realize this isn’t your point. But, giving a tax break is not taking money from someone who doesn’t get the break. Just like not increasing taxes is not giving people money. I’m not paying for other people’s kids but I am funding the government more and maybe getting less. Depends what I use.

      A tax break is simply reducing the money the government takes from someone. Therefore it can and often is used as an incentive. In this case it’s an incentive to have kids

      If you want poorer folks with kids to pay less you could do that. This is not that

      Of course we could solve all this by eliminating all income and ownership based taxes and moving to use taxes. Sales, vat, bedrooms or land, traveling etc

      Then people can choose the uses they want to pay for. Excluding basic services eliminates issues for the poor.

  • Ken

    Oh, and by the way, I’m pro-life, so I want to make you have children you might not be able to support. After that, you’re on your own. As Barney Frank once said, “For many pro-lifers, life begins at conception and ends at birth.”

    • Pip

      I’ve stopped calling them pro-life. They are clearly pro-birth and nothing more, so that’s the term I use for them.

    • Bambino

      She is 40 years too old for them.

      • Not christian enough to be a youth minister either.

    • kaydenpat

      Strangely enough when one of my former coworkers used Christian Mingle, she discovered that many of the single men were married with kids. She had to stop using it after the third or fourth married guy.

      • perversatile

        ChristianSwingles (yes, it’s a thing)

        • Todd20036

          For well endowed men?

      • Not surprising.

      • Todd20036

        How’d she find out they were married?

        • kaydenpat

          After a couple of dates, she’d figure things out. I think some of the men may have fessed up. Can’t remember the details but she’s a Conservative Christian and wanted a Christian husband.

          • Willys41

            Explain to her about unicorns.

      • Calamity_Jean

        “…many of the single men were married….”

        They must have been looking for concubines.

  • KnownDonorDad

    I hesitate to share this, but it has a sort of legendary status in some internet circles…

    • Gustav2

      Will not click on that site…will not click on that site…will not click on that site…will not click on that site…will not click on that site…will not click on that site…will not click on that site…

      • AJ Drew

        Yeah, it’s crude, tasteless, and yet ends with “thank you for ignoring my…”

        • KnownDonorDad

          That’s when I lost it.

          • AJ Drew

            So you DID click on that site!

          • KnownDonorDad

            I posted it…I knew what Pandora’s box I was opening. I think.

          • AJ Drew

            oops, replied to wrong post… but, yeah, most will ignore. If nothing else, compared to most current on-line journalism, one has to admit that the author had a good command of English, punctuation, and sarcasm. ?

      • KnownDonorDad
      • Jonathan Smith

        You clicked. Didn’t you?

        • Gustav2


          • Silver Badger

            I did. I am definitely sorry.

    • AJ Drew

      The only time I got blocked by others here on JMG (well, that I know of…) was for linking to that exact um, story. But, c’mon… it’s timeless and still applies.

      • KnownDonorDad

        Oh dear. Well, apologies to my usual comment-readers…that’s why I tried to add a disclaimer-ish intro. 😀

        • Reality.Bites

          At least no photos.

  • AJ Drew

    OH c’mon… Ann, your reverso-world attempt is actually a decent ploy here, but I have zero doubt you would eat your own children.

    • Of course not the taste would have to much of her to get down.

  • Your empty life of quiet desperation isn’t because you’re single, Ann. It’s because you’re a horrible, repulsive person. I’m single and I’m living a full life of loud happiness. And thankfully you’re not a part of it.

  • SkokieGuy [ChicagoAdjacentGuy]

    And Ann, on behalf of all us happy singles, who are NOT leading quiet lives of desperation….

  • Snarkaholic

    Bitch, speak for yourself. I’m single, but my life is NOT empty…I’m Not desperate…and I’m certainly NOT QUIET!

    • AmeriCanadian

      I was once resigned to spending the rest of my life single and I learned to embrace it. Not long after, my plans were thwarted and I got married. Nevertheless, I would have been fine with it because life is what you make of it and I had a very good single life.

  • Bluto
    • JackFknTwist

      That, I love !

    • Princess Lardass

      Is s/he really pointing or flipping Ann the bird?

      • Bluto


  • Michael R

    Is tomorrow good for you ?

  • Blueflash

    But I heard Ann say once, in opposition to same-sex marriage, that the great thing about being gay is no marriage. Now I’m confused.

    • Gustav2

      She tried to be snarky about paying for others’ kids and only sounded desperate.

      • Snarkaholic

        I guess she’s feeling that holiday depression I’ve read about.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      So is she.

  • Craig S

    Let’s all be thankful Anne hasn’t spawned. Her hate needs to die with her generation.

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • octobercountry

      OMG, that’s horrible…

      • MT YVR

        The sucking noise she makes in my head every time I look at this.. I mean, look at her mouth here, you can hear her doing it…


    • BlackGayAthetist

      If only Andre the Giant would be the Masters of Ceremony and Ann the first contestant…

  • Blake Mason

    Falwell’s ilk would say she is a jezabel… and needs to get hitched and make babies… it’s God will.

    • kaydenpat

      She’s 56 years old. I suppose she could adopt but I’d feel sorry for that poor child.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    At this time of year, I always look to the classics for inspiration…this one wasn’t too difficult….

  • kaydenpat

    I would say poor thing but she’s such a horrible human being that this makes me smile.

  • Snarkaholic

    Not only is she single and childless, it’s obvious that she doesn’t have any friends either. Wow, when even like-minded haters refuse to hang out with her…

    • kaydenpat

      You truly cannot buy love. We see the same thing with Trump.

      • Bambino

        There’s no cleanser she can buy to undo her vileness either.

  • Brigham

    I heard she was dating Jimmy Walker of Good Times fame.

  • carrot festival


  • Cuberly Deux

    Hands up, how many JMGers want 0% of their taxes used to aid a family in raising their kids. Hell, the tax credit for kids was just raised to $1,400. That’s $3.84 a day per year for one child.

    • AJ Drew

      Errm, I think I get your intended point, but to push my alternate take to the extreme… I’m ok with kids, meaning perhaps future gays being born (they will be,) and my tax dollars going towards educating them and even (gasp) help them with stuff like food and housing. [I KNOW you don’t disagree overall, just playing a bit of devils advocate here.]

      • Cuberly Deux

        Not sure I follow. My point is I don’t mind helping pay for a civilized society. Of course the “civilized” part is debatable, but part of addressing the problems is getting a generation the support they need.

        • AJ Drew

          yeah, I got it, because I “feel” I know your intent, but your post read as perhaps meaning otherwise, so…

          • Cuberly Deux

            Yeah, my first sentence was mean’t to be sarcastic. Which I suck at online….lol…

  • FAEN

    I have to admit, being single after a lot of years, I am pretty lonely. Hopefully I won’t die alone.

    Lordy I need a drink.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Come sit by me and we’ll have a julep.

      • FAEN

        Thanks man. Very kind.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Make it three, and I would like one of those silver julep cups (not to keep!)

    • Snarkaholic

      You are NOT alone! I (and, I’m sure, most of the others on here) enjoy your company!

      • AmeriCanadian

        Count me in. I enjoy reading your posts, FAEN.

      • FAEN

        Thanks Snark-this is a community for me. An amazing, witty, and yes snarky group of people who make me horse laugh at least once a day 😊.

    • AJ Drew

      OMFG, if you compare yourself in any way to Ann Coulter, she wins and eats your soul. Being single is not a fault nor deficit, yet she’s, for some reason (oh, politics and money perhaps?,) playing that angle. NEVER go there.

      • FAEN

        LOL-I am nothing like Coulter because as you pointed out have a soul. Being single isn’t a deficit but being single and lonely isn’t pleasant. Still, nothing to be done but to change that.

        • AJ Drew

          yup! There are pluses and minuses to being single AND to being coupled.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Amazon is out of tiny violins already.

  • MT YVR

    it’s ok ann one day you’ll find another person that’s a knockoff leather handbag full of scorpions and copies of mein kampf

    Oh. My. Gods. I need to go get coffee so I can spittake it across my keyboard.

  • MBear


    So…anyway: how are everyone’s holiday plans shaping up?

    • FAEN

      Christmas will Be Chinese food and binge watching The Crown.

      My niece says I have to join an app or two.

      • JackFknTwist

        I’m having pizza for Christmas.
        Last time it was the best Christmas.

        • FAEN

          That sounds pretty damn good. What kind?

          • JackFknTwist

            Very Thin crust , white sauce, ham with extra cheese.

      • Lindoro Almaviva

        I’m working, but don’t feel too bad. i volunteered and it is double time. But, yea, the hubby is not too happy, but I got to make some $$$ and I am not getting the fees i used to for getting naked

        • FAEN

          Fees for being naked? Do tell.

          • Lindoro Almaviva

            well, at first I was getting NOTHING and now I have to pay. How worse can that get?

    • MT YVR

      Not. Enough. Alcohol. In. Me.

      (sitting at work considering how best to hide bodies on short notice… but you know it’s the holidays so it’s a bit more complicated than my usual plans… and today I’m actually, seriously considering it…)

      • Phillip in L.A.

        First, you get a bathtub full of Hydrofluoric Acid….

        • MT YVR

          I prefer lye. It gets less alarm bells when purchasing.

          In bulk.

          • Snarkaholic

            At my last job, we used it in the bake shop for making pretzels, so no one will be the wiser.

      • Snarkaholic

        Dump the bodies into any redneck town’s public library…they’ll NEVER be found!

        • MT YVR

          I like this. But I hate driving so far out of my elite urban centre. (snort)

          • Snarkaholic


          • MT YVR

            You may live. Come, sit by me.

      • JackFknTwist

        My kind of man.

      • Silver Badger

        I’m a wood chipper fan, myself. Don’t forget to wash it with Clorox.

        • MT YVR

          Conveniently that made me think of roadcrew, which made me remember that we have construction here at the hospital so I’m fairly certain somethingsomething alibi.

    • PickyPecker
      • AJ Drew

        I’m sooo gay, and yet, if that chick were there, I’d attend.

    • NZArtist

      Apparently I’m cooking a turkey. I’ve never cooked a turkey before.

      • PickyPecker

        Brine it in advance if you can.

        • AmeriCanadian

          You mean put a salt lick in the barnyard? 😉

        • NZArtist

          I’m not going to brine it, but I will do a salt rub a couple of days in advance. According to experts (studies have shown, 4/5 dentists agree, in an independant review…) brining does make the meat more moist, but it’s a sort of watery flavour. A better method is a salt rub, and then while it’s cooking baste, baste, baste and baste. And then baste. Also, baste.
          Who knew there was another use for a turkey baster….

          • Galvestonian

            …are you gonna do stuffing in the bird or out of the bird in a casserole dish ??? Prepare the stuffing accordingly. If you don”t have one get out and get a meat thermometer and use it. Make sure you get the turkey in the oven based on the time you’re planning to sit down for the Christmas dinner – the turkey has to sit for a half-hour after you take it out of the over to maintain it’s juiciness. Prep any side dishes so that they can finish at the same time that you’re ready to serve. It’s like juggling a bunch of balls as you only have so many burners on the stove top. I use the oven along with the turkey for any thing I can fit in there that will be served at dinner. Set your oven racks with this in mind.

          • NZArtist

            Got two ovens and a huge cooktop. Adequately empowered. 🙂
            There’s not going to be a formal ‘sit-down’ dinner. I expect everything to be ready mid-afternoonish. People are probably going to drift by for a bit of food, and then go away.
            Remember that xmas down this way is in the middle of summer. No-one really wants to sit down and eat a huge meal – it’s too hot and humid. So people will probably just pick at the bird, carve bits off as they like. I’ll have plenty of salads and cold drinks available.
            And probaby the dogs will be farty for the week afterwards as they clean up leftover turkey.
            The event isn’t so much about the food as it is about people dropping by to be social.

          • Steve Smith

            Or, alternatively and more simply, do a nut roast.

          • geoffalnutt

            Well, in lieu of brine, you can just cry…really hard.

        • Reality.Bites

          Did a turkey steal your boyfriend or something? You seem bitter. 😉

      • Silver Badger

        It’s not hard. Please remember to kill it first.

        • AJ Drew

          Yeah, that’s the hard part.

      • MBear

        Deep fry it!

        (I hate cooking turkeys any other way. So much work for something i dont really enjoy in equal measure)

    • Lindoro Almaviva
    • coram nobis

      Need to order goose for Xmas eve dinner.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Hanukkah Claus didn’t bring me my lump of coal yet

      • AJ Drew

        what fuel are you using to create light?

        • Phillip in L.A.

          My own angst

          • AJ Drew


    • Snarkaholic

      Brunch at friends’ house…followed by overfeeding the cats for the rest of the day (whatever they want).

  • Cuberly Deux

    Just like a vampire needs blood to survive, IT needs attention to survive.

    Why the fuck does anyone give it to IT.

  • TheManicMechanic

    There are consequences for being an insufferable cūnt after all, eh, bitch? Not sorry.

  • Blake J Butler

    Tough fucking tits no one whos’s sane gives a fuck, the woman deserves to be miserable and lonely.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Maybe she should run off with Roy Moore’s horse, Sassy?

    • Bambino

      And you never thought of asking Sassy how it feels?

      • Reality.Bites

        Pretty bony, I assume.

    • Snarkaholic

      No. Anne only hangs around with those who are less attractive than she is…
      …which is why she’s ALWAYS alone!

      • Reality.Bites

        And also why she’s never seen near horses. You have any idea what it’s like to have a HORSE come up to you and say “Hey, why the long face?”

      • Macbill

        Maybe Steve Bannon has a particular position for her…

    • kaydenpat

      Sassy has more class than that! For shame!

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Sassy: Puh-leeze! Me hang out with that flee-bitten old hag?! Neigh!!

    • FancyThat

      Ann actually rode Sassy with Moore on Tuesday. She sat on the horse, right in back of Roy. Unfortunately, most people mistook her for the horse’s ass. This happens allot! — 24/7/365.

  • JackFknTwist

    Dear Ann,
    No one gives a flying f uck.
    Oh yeah, wallowing in self pity does not help.
    It is singularly unattractive.
    Rowley Birkin, Q.C.

  • Grant Low

    Maybe if she wasn’t such an evil bitch some man could stand to get within ten feet of her.

  • Lindoro Almaviva

    You will die how you deserve, bitch.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Selfish, selfish, selfish!
    Clearly the rightwing hates* children.
    (*except the kiddy diddlers like Roy Moore.)

  • Jerry Kott

    Ann- none of us are surprised. Maybe she is bottoming out and her toxic energy has taken a toll. She can’t even stand to be around herself.

    • Snarkaholic

      She’s probably also stunned that NONE of the other bigots she endorsed on her show have invited her to their holiday parties…
      …or, worse, she’s hosting a party herself, and every single one of them declined her invitation.

      • Jerry Kott

        or she looked into a mirror?

    • Macbill

      She’s always been a bottom.

  • Dot Beech

    Die alone? Fine. Get to it, Ann.

  • Boreal
    • Tawreos

      Cool, but why are we wasting alcohol? DOn’t you know there are sober people in this world?

      • Boreal

        This sommelier must be new at it. A good one can cut the top off with nary a drop spilled.

        • MT YVR

          “nary a drop spilled”…that… looks somehow familiar.

          • Boreal

            Pretty common in literature.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            In 19th century lit, yes! 🙂

          • MT YVR

            I was thinking of my 20s, actually. And there tweren’t nothing about that time in my life that was highbrow or even close to literature. 😛

  • NZArtist

    Here’s a thing… I know I’m going to die single – I just cant do the ‘relationship’ thing. But I’m not going to die alone or lonely. I’m always surrounded by good friends. Just this evening I’m giong to have a house ful of people come over to make tacos and drink too much wine. There may well be sex, or maybe not.
    Being single doesn’t necessitate being lonely. I love being single.
    But it also doesn’t mean you dont want to participate in the social compact. I’m happy to be childless, and to support people with children. I’m happy to drive a car, but subsidise people who use busses. I’m happy to hate sports, but subsidise sporting arenas. My taxes go toward a host of things I disagree with, because they also go toward a host of things I agree with which other people may not.
    That’s part of being a society.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Nice post, NZArtist! 😎

    • AmeriCanadian

      Society is, by definition, collective. You have hit it on the head!!!

    • canoebum

      In CoulterWorld, all persons are their own island. Social compact? What are you, a communist?
      (I have no kids but still pay more than $200 each month in school taxes. I don’t mind.)

      • David Walker

        I always figured I’d pay more for a town full of uneducated kids. I see now that I’m right.

        • Reality.Bites

          You just never expected the town to be Washington.

          • Todd20036

            The dc school system isn’t bad. But Congress wants to steal from public schools and give vouchers to parents for religious schools

        • erik grohe

          I used to think that but for gay people that live in a conservative town/city w/ lots of anti-gay people, I say that the gays should not have to fund adults who willingly decided to have kids. They made that choice – I did not.

          And, even though I am not a conservative, it always irritates me when I see a mother with 7 kids bitching b/c the govt isn’t giving her enough in welfare. Hello? You chose to have 7 kids.

          • ChrisMorley

            That mum of 7 might well have a violent and bullying partner who controls her fertility. It’s not uncommon. I’m the eldest of 8 children of such a bullied woman. My mum did the best she could to put our survival first.

          • That woman with seven children may not always have been poor. Maybe two years ago she or the childrens’ other parent had a high paying job and then the bottom dropped out of that sector of the economy and the job was gone.

            Or maybe the other parent left and now she has to support a lot of kids on a fraction of what the family had been making before.

            Or maybe they’re foster kids and the “welfare” she’s getting is her stipend and still isn’t enough to absorb all of the additional increase in expenses.

          • David Walker

            We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

    • marshlc

      The concept of a society is something that libertarians really don’t get. It’s like fish not knowing what water is, or us not remembering that we are living under fourteen some odd pounds per square inch of air pressure.

      Now, the far right, they know what a society is. Their idea of one is hateful and nightmarish, but they do understand that we are interdependent. Without the poor, the rich could not exist, in their world.

    • you had me until you got to sports stadiums. that, i am NOT happy to be paying for, over here. i dunno what it’s like in NZ, but i can tell you what it is here: subsidies for billionaires, while city streets go unpaved and children go without school books and computers because ‘we have a budget deficit.’

      google ‘the Q stadium’ and the city of cleveland for details. my hatred of those breaks for the rich burns hotter than 1,000 suns.

      • olandp

        I’m with you, why should I pay so some sports ball team can the best jumbotron in the industry, not to mention those absurd swimming pool seats. Yes they are real…

      • NZArtist

        I hate sports. In New Zealand the national religion is Rugby. I hated it at school and I hate it now.
        But I know those who love rugby subsidize the museums and art galleries and theatres. They subsidize the Hero Parade (gay pride parade), and the beaches and parks I love. They pay for our universal healthcare (a friend of mine this week had to spend two days in hospital under observation for a seizure he had. The cost to him was exactly nothing. That includes CT scan).
        The sporting lovers pay for the big new tunnel that makes it 15 minutes faster to visit a good friend of mine.
        All in all it’s a good system.

    • Keep in mind being in a relationship is no guarantee that you won’t die alone, even having kids isn’t a guarantee.

  • Tawreos

    She should go back to her old gig of being the refrigerator at Fox News

  • Larry L

    Look at the bottom line Ann, Republicans will always look out for the top 1% even when it increases the debt they complain about under Democrats.

  • thatotherjean

    Ann, dear, it doesn’t have to be this way. Some singles have other people they care about, who care about them.They are called “friends.” I know it’s a strange concept to Republicans like you, who hate absolutely everybody, but it works for some people. People who have these “friends” are less lonely, less desperately unhappy, and less likely to die alone and unloved. Cultivating them does mean that you would have to be nice to somebody, though, so it may be difficult for you.

    Oh, yes–child tax credits are a good thing, even if you don’t have children of your own. Lots of people have them, you see, and want to raise them in the best conditions possible. Actually, the best conditions possible would be defeating this tax giveaway to the rich which only gives tax increases to the poor. But you’re unlikely to wind up poor, so you’re unlikely to care. Merry Christmas, dear, and good luck!

  • Jefe5084

    Dang. She is one sick critter.

  • killreligion

    I don’t agree with her reasoning that we shouldn’t subsidize happiness but incentivizing overbreeding is nonsensical.

  • andrew

    Ann Coulter can take some consolation in knowing that when she is old and unable to care for herself, there may be things like Social Security, Medicare, Hospice Care and other taxpayer funded programs that help enrich the lives of the elderly. That is unless assholes like her have helped to destroy them.

  • coram nobis

    Will the memoir be titled Nasty, Brutish and Short, precious?

  • Mark Cross
    • Allan_in_SF

      It never gets old…I still love it

    • Snarkaholic

      Pleeeease, will someone illustrate/post the interior of this book? (I’d do it myself, but I can’t draw.)
      Does the bunny (finally) infuriate the wrong person…who then shoves that umbrella up his ass…and opens it? I gotta know!

    • Hryflex

      This never gets old.

  • Princess Lardass

    No. Sympathy. Whatsoever.

  • Gerry Fisher

    There’s always cocktails with Matt Drudge. [shudder]

    • GanymedeRenard

      And/or Milo (they’re interchangeable).

  • coram nobis

    There’s a fellow named Donald who is living a life of loudmouthed desperation and living an empty life. Why don’t you look him up, Anne?

  • JCF
  • RevDan

    “I’m what nature abhors – an old maid, a frozen asset” – Nancy, in Claire Booth Luce’s “The Women”. Ironically, Luce is Coulter’s favorite writer.

    She will undoubtedly walk back that statement so as not to include herself, or else she’ll be getting embarrassing questions on talk shows. Her raison d ‘etre is, after all, to sell books. Her second reason for living is to make people hate her – so she can sell more books. Who would buy books from a writer who tells you who to hate who hates herself? A woman who always casts herself as superior to others would never truly castigate herself. Trust me, she’ll be distancing herself from the “we singles” very soon.

    She also says that she says outlandish things to “stir the pot.” Problem is, she doesn’t stir it – she defecates in it, then tells people to eat from it an die. She’ll say that of course she isn’t alone and desperate, she just wanted to make a point. Can’t you get it?

    She may find a perfect mate someday: old, deaf, mute, blind, and extremely masochistic. Until then, she and I will both be haunted and loathed by the ghost of Phyllis Schlafly: I’m married to a man and Ann Coulter isn’t.

    • madknits

      Dorothy Parker is one of my favourite writers. When told that Mrs Luce was kind to her inferiors, Mrs Parker asked, “Where does she find them?”
      And of course, the famous time when the two women met at the door of a nightclub, and all Mrs Luce could muster was, “Age before beauty.”
      Mrs Parker replied, as she walked in front of her, “And pearls before swine.”

    • jerry

      And just like Phyllis Schlafly, Ann has made a career of telling women that they shouldn’t have careers.

    • Calamity_Jean

      My late mother-in-law, of blessed memory, used to call her “Phyllis Shitfly”. My late mother-in-law was a wonderful person, and I miss her.

  • David Walker

    I never am quite sure why something triggers a song, but Annie…this one’s for you. “Wide my road, narrow my bed.” Except the song seems to see it as a good thing. Streisand from the ’60s:

  • coram nobis

    How about some Christmas music?

  • infmom

    The phrase “Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas” comes to mind.

    Now, let’s watch Ann scratch her ear with her foot.

  • RainbowPhoenix

    And who’s fault is that, you insufferable bint?

  • danolgb

    I’m not a huge fan of the child tax credits which poorer families only partially get or don’t get at all. I’d rather help those who need it and not those who don’t need it.

  • Boreal
  • Rex

    It’s sad to be the only horse in the stable, it does get lonely in the barn.

  • dbishop75

    Hell, I’m married and will probably still die alone. Welcome to the club, Ann. We are born alone and we die alone. That’s life.

    • GeneInSJ

      I was thinking the same thing. There are no guarantees in life.

    • BobSF_94117

      Except for twins.

  • GanymedeRenard

    And yet you are perfectly fine with the idea of us queers not being able to marry and yet pay taxes to fund happy heterosexual families with children who fill their days with joy? FUCK YOU, you harpy!

  • edrex
  • David
  • Joseph Miceli

    You know, I also thought I’d live a life of lonely desperation and die alone, but then I remembered that the man who kills me will be there. 🙂

  • David
  • leastyebejudged

    Hurry-up and…

  • JaniceInToronto

    Ok. So you’re gonna die alone. Could you hurry up please?

  • Ginger Snap

    We all die alone.

  • Henry Auvil

    I wish I could feel for you Ann, but somehow I just can’t.

  • Galvestonian

    Well … Annie sweetie, being alone and dying in miserable circumstances could be because you’re such a frickin’ hateful lying hypocritical bigoted bitch. Nobody wants your black soul. NO ONE !

  • bcarter3

    She’ll always have Drudge to cuddle up to.

    • leastyebejudged

      I just assumed she had a lot of gross sex with other gross conservatives, then I realized they’re not so much into having normal consensual sex, it has to be super sinful and complicated.

  • JAKvirginia

    Oh, Annie…. you might have a desperate life, but you’re living it at the top of your lungs. STFU and go away.

  • Michael

    It’s just too easy.

  • I’m very glad that that brittle old scab is filled with desperation — though it will sadly NEVER be quiet — and I hope when she dies alone, she’s filled with a thousand times the pain she’s caused the world. This pathetic stunt garners her no pity from me. Just indifferent ridicule.

  • Paula

    Die alone? Then don’t be such an asshole.

    • leastyebejudged

      I keep praying that it won’t be alone. So many people need to die with her.

  • HZ81

    She makes wine-loving tall blondes who love being single a very, very bad name.

  • geoffalnutt

    Well, she’s promised to die……………………………. I’m waiting.

  • Chris Gardner

    I’ll not comment on Ann Coulter but I do agree that us single folks shouldn’t have to pay extra taxes to fund others who made a choice to have 10 kids. I thought those Republicans hate socialism?

    • leastyebejudged

      If you don’t deal with those kids they grow up to be a huge problem.

      At least we have a military we can dump them into.

    • MaryJOGrady

      Some of those 10 kids may be LGBTQ, or grow up to be allies

  • AtticusP

    I think Bulimia Barbie should speak for herself and leave the rest of us the fuck out of it.

  • can’t happen fast enough

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

    Tick tock, Ann. TICK. TOCK.

  • Rocco

    I can almost feel sorry for her….

  • LovesIrony

    you’ll die alone, but think of all the joy that will bring to so many.

  • If James Carville and Mary Matalin can make a relationship happen, who knows what might be in store for Ann Coulter? (She *has* been there before, though. After she went splitsville with Dinesh D’Souza, she went left to date Andrew Stein, a well known liberal, several years back.)

    • Priya Lynn

      That’s one fucking weird relationship.

  • Monty

    I think I read that she was dating Jimmy Walker from Good Times?! Was that not real? (knowing the internet, probably not….) 😉

  • EdA

    Well, so today has not been a total loss.

  • MarkBuster

    things aren’t working out with Mr Dyno-Mite?

  • 1980Gardener

    She sounds like a “singles’ rights” advocate now.

  • JT
  • Longpole

    Oh please, being single has little to do with it. Ann, you will probably outlive a husband anyways and that means you will still die alone. Most woman outlive their husbands and you are mean enough to live a long time after he is gone.

  • Alternative Facts

    I resent that comparison to Morrisey.
    At least Morrisey has contributed amazing music to humanity.
    Ann Coulter, tho, is as useless as tits on a boar.

  • anne marie in philly

    “I’m Desperately Lonely And Will Die Alone” – GREAT! GO DO IT!

  • Karl Dubhe 2

    Well, that’s not our problem. Is it?

  • Sykler

    Not soon enough.

  • agcons

    I’ve heard that on Tinder the only option anyone has is to swipe left.

  • Robincho

    Yes, Mrs. Ed, by all means die bereft and alone. You should have done it yesterday but there are still some hours remaining today. Hop to it, bitch…

  • HaHaHa

    I wouldn’t pick on her for that. Then again I’m a career single myself so I can understand her outlook even though I don’t share it. I don’t have an empty life nor do I live in desperation, life is what you make of it.

  • Texpat

    I finally agree with her on something. Child tax credits are a gift to breeders.

  • MarkOH

    Oh, Ann. You are alone because of your hatred. That’s why.
    I have no children. I have no wife. But I am happy to be able to help those in this world who need my help.

    The universe gives you what you give it. Embrace and express love, and it returns 100 fold.
    Embrace and express hate, and it returns 1000 fold.

    And the sad thing, it’s a choice. You CAN change. Is it easy? not necessarily. But the reward is worth the struggle,

  • Octoberfurst

    Poor Ann. Perhaps she can post an ad in a singles magazine: “Hateful, ugly, mean-spirited attention whore with ice water for blood looking for same to share our mutual hatred of all that is good and decent. Must despise minorities, loathe the poor and pretend to love the baby Jesus. Having dead eyes is a plus. Please send picture of you scowling for quick response.” .

  • TuuxKabin

    So die already

  • Dan Rowley

    Geeze Ann, if you wanted to stir the pot aka change up from politics you sure did it! Personally, I think you’re yanking our chains…. letting more societies vermin have their 15 min. of fame. But, if that’s not the case, you do know that BEAUTIFUL women frighten off more guys than not. It’s, in the guys mind, I’m not good enough…..not good looking enough, don’t make enough money, my car, apt., house is a rat trap, I’m too fat, too skinny yadda yadda yadda. Catch 22. If you want someone, you’ll find him or he’ll find you. Oh, lastly, he’s a dummy, or thinks he is, yer obviously not, & there’s another conundrum. Maybe he’s Blue Collar & figures you won’t like guys with working hands. Only soft & delicate hands.

  • MaryJOGrady

    Speak for yourself, sad self-promoter.

  • erik grohe

    Even though I never agree w/ Colter, I do agree w/ her on this point. I didn’t choose to have/adopt kids so why do I have to pay for everyone else’s?

    For all the homophobes who are against gay marriage, I say OK -then all the gay people w/out kids in your town won’t pay the expensive property taxes to fund your kids going to well funded schools.

  • Guy Johnson

    Wait a minute – wasn’t she dating Jimmy “JJ” Walker?

    • leastyebejudged

      That made me throw up a little in my mouth.

  • Willys41

    Singles live lives of what? Obviously somebody needs mental health coverage.

    • leastyebejudged

      I’m sure she’s approached all the time, but how could she ever trust someone enough to be intimate with them ?

  • leastyebejudged

    I keep returning to this, even though I know she’s a serial liar and it’s probably not true, it just FEELS good.

  • Deacon Phreque

    Well Jeezus fucking Christ on a pogo stick Ann! Maybe try being a decent person? i find that being decent certainly opens doors to relationships. Being a one-trick pony of hateful and baseless insults isn’t very attractive.

  • JamesR

    Poor Ann. Though for some she does get around and is quite capable of socializing. Published as “fiction” years ago, this stands the test of time and even if it may be less than factual it is still true:

    Merry Christmas

  • Fed Up

    Die alone? What about the millions cheering as your burned at the stake live on national television? You will finally command the audience you’ve always dreamed of. See, you just need bigger dreams you piece of shit.

  • mattdocmartin

    No one will love her? Gee, I wonder why.

  • wds

    Good Lord … Coultergeist can’t even elicit sympathy – she can’t do it. If she thought anyone was going to awww over that, she’s very wrong. Here’s how i see her. We had a preacher one time say that there are people so filled with evil/hate that they will walk into Hell with their heads held high, proud of what they did ,..

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Dear Ann, you can foster or adopt a child. Perhaps if you weren’t such a bitch, more people would like you and you’d have some friends. Think about it.

    • reynard61

      What *sane* case worker would place a child with the likes of her?!?!?! That would be like placing Hansel and Gretel with the Witch that wants to eat them.

  • reynard61
  • ColdCountry

    Speak for yourself, Ann, speak for yourself.

  • SFnomad

    What a little snowflake. Ann, suck it up buttercup.

  • She is a hateful, spiteful, disgusting human being. Its no wonder no one wants to be with her.

  • Robert Adams

    Sad reality is, we all die alone.

  • Sam D. Maloney

    What’s taking her so long?

  • SDG

    Giving 0 fucks about her.

  • cleos_mom

    Aside from Coulter’s high loatheingworthy score, that “singleness is hell and then you die” was the theme song for one of the more stupid social spasms of the 1980s — and it has stiff competition. Coulter is resorting to a perversely cherished myth but then again, I’m sure there are people who still buy it.

    I didn’t marry till I was 41, and it wasn’t a move inspired by panic over the finger-shaking comparisons to being struck by lightning. Being single, like most other things in life, has its up sides and down sides but this piece made me wonder what happened to those celebrated-in-song-and-hyberbole women who thought they heard a clock ticking and started hanging around the exits of mens’ rooms.

  • JerseyHitman

    She’s not miserable because she’s alone, she’s alone because she’s miserable

  • C M Concepcion

    Hey Ann, you could commit seppuku. Why wait when you could end our collective misery of your shitty existence right now? I’ll be your second in case you wimp out before you plung the blade in you belly, that way we can all be certain that your vampiric life is permanently excised from the planet forever.

  • boomer49

    …, live a life filled with avarice and greed…..and now whine when Gaia says “times up, game over”…..whatta sad bag o meat.

  • Ann Kah

    I would normally spare a kind thought for someone in that predicament, but there is nobody, male or female, that I hate enough to wish Ann Coulter on them.